MARF226   30,153
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Time to Give Away Clothes?

Monday, September 09, 2013

I have lost about 50 pounds (it varies by the day). I still have about 6 more pounds to my goal weight but as I have previously blogged, my dedication and motivation to keep losing is seriously waning. I decided it was time to take control when my size 12 clothes werenít fitting and I had to buy a few size 14 items. I am now down to a size 4/6 depending on the store (I even have one size 2 skirt that I never wear but I had to buy). In the 18 months since I started this journey, I have given away all of my size 14 clothes and most of the size 12. But I basically have clothes in every size from a 2 to a 12. Boxes and boxes worth.

Iím about to buy my first house and Iím doing a preliminary pre-move inventory asking, ďdo I really want to move thisĒ? And as I looked at the boxes in my closet, it seems silly to move all of these clothes that donít fit. Especially in this case, when itís not like I hope Iíll fit into them again one day. In fact, I hope I never fit into them again.

But I also know that life happens and weight loss and maintenance isnít easy and thereís a 95% percent chance that those clothes WILL fit again. And I don't want to have to go buy new clothes when I had a whole wardrobe full.

So whatís a girl to do?? Do I give them all away? Do I keep some? Thoughts, advice, suggestions??

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RX_2_RV 9/12/2013 4:56PM

    Congrats on the purchase of your first home!

Get rid of all the clothes that are too big. I am a yo-yo dieter and have kept a few things but I wouldn't recommend it. It's better to force yourself back on track by refusing to buy the next size up.

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WATERONE 9/10/2013 2:19PM

    First, emoticon on what you accomplished.

What if you picked a couple of things from each size you've undergrown to give away. That would be a start. Are any of them so old that they are out of style and you really hope that style never comes back? Are there any that are stretched, faded, stained? Those could be the first ones you toss.

I'm writing here what I've been telling myself. I have a similar problem getting rid of larger clothes because so many times I've gained the weight back. I'm just 2 months into this journey but I do have some clothes that are now too big to wear. I'm waffling at getting rid of them and thinking about doing it gradually to show confidence in my ability to not do this again. So I'm going to get rid of three pairs of pants that I've never been happy with even when they were the only things I could wear.

And since I told you I was going to do it, I guess I have to.

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PSIMSON 9/10/2013 12:57PM

    I've gone from a size 20 to a size 12 and I couldn't donate those larger sizes fast enough to a charity. Believe that you are never going back and then work hard to make it a reality. You've come so far, keep going!

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THOMASINA57 9/10/2013 11:43AM

    I'd say donate most of them and just keep a few for a safety net. A lot of folks, me included are comfortable buying donated clothing from charity shops, which helps with any rebound weight gain.

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FUNLOVEN 9/10/2013 8:10AM

    One, Two, Three heave ho! Give them all away. Besides after all this time and, heavens forbid, any weight gain in the future, you will need a fashion update.

I see you are part of the At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team. I have read so many positive comments about that team and how they have been the key to helping people maintain. So think positive and know that you will never need those clothes again emoticon

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KALISWALKER 9/10/2013 12:41AM

    You'll have to let us know what you decide to do with the big clothes.

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KALISWALKER 9/9/2013 4:40PM

    I recently became a size large down from the XL and XXL. I donated the clothes and have no safety net. It was about making a lifetime decision there is not going back.

Comment edited on: 9/9/2013 4:48:17 PM

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KELLIEBEAN 9/9/2013 2:08PM

    I have clothes in size 8 - 14. I have given away the 14s and all of the 12s except for except for one shirt, one pair of jeans and one pair of dress pantsin size 12. So I still have that safety net BUT kind of hard to wear the same thing every day if I gain it back. So that keeps me on track.

Keep looking forward!

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IZZYSTEVENS 9/9/2013 12:26PM

  I say get rid of them. The thing that spurred me on my latest journey (and which is keeping me from falling off the wagon) is the fact that as soon as it turns cold, I have NO clothes that will fit me. Not even my "fat jeans" from last winter. I'll be cold and nekkid, and I absolutely refuse to go to the store and buy new, bigger clothes.

Maybe keep a selection of the ones you really really like one or two sizes larger, but get rid of those size 12s forever.

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Being a Friend to Myself

Sunday, August 25, 2013

I have put on 5 pounds and am now 8 pounds way from goal. I know Iím not working hard enough and itís showing on the scale (and yesterday, in how my pants fit). I lost 50 pounds with very few struggles with motivation. Now, I canít seem to stop struggling with motivation. I donít feel good physically or mentally. (Seriously, I havenít had clothes in my closet be too tight in 18 months. Itís not a good feeling). I want to get it together and I just canít.

And I found an article here on SP about motivation and it asked a question (well it asked lots of questions but Iím going to answer this one): If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with this problem, what would I say to them? Would I tell them itís a lost cause?

Of course not. So why do we say nice things to others and not ourselves? I donít know. But Iím going to break the cycle and Iím going to say all those nice things to ME.

Way to be your own worst enemy, Martha. This is hardly a lost cause. Game plan: focus on what I do right instead of what I do wrong. Every little bit counts and something is always better than nothing. Try taking those most basic baby steps again Ė did I drink all my water, get all my freggies, and 8 hours of sleep? And be kind to myself! Everything else will follow.

Interestingly enough, that really did make me feel better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNLOVEN 8/26/2013 8:44AM

    Sometimes just putting it all out there in a blog helps solidify the plan.

We are here for you emoticon

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WATERONE 8/26/2013 6:16AM

    emoticon topic and post. We are too often our own worst enemies instead of our best friends. You've accomplished so much. I think we forget that maintenance is often harder than losing when we are fired with enthusiasm and focused on a goal. emoticon because you are emoticon

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MJREIMERS 8/25/2013 9:03PM

    So true! What worked for me was everyday when I looked in the mirror I found one positive thing. Maybe I did my makeup well, my hair looks good, my eyes are bluer with this shirt on, etc.

I'd also look around at my life. I have a great husband, my kids are health and doing well, my pets are a comfort to me, I have a job I like, I talk to my mom almost daily, etc.

Believe it will change the way you think. I now have a much more positive attitude and it makes EVERYTHING better. My little motto is Let go.Be.

Google it. It's a great message and before I had it tattooed on my wrist, I had it on a bracelet. It means let go of the past, let go of the negatives, let go of everything that is "tripping you up." Be in this moment. Be a better mom, wife, human. Be positive. Be YOU!

I hope this helps. I was there, the place I'm at is much better. Take my hand and I'll pull you up so you can Let go. Be!

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FIRYMIST35 8/25/2013 4:38PM

  Try to be nice to yourself! I've found it's always more difficult to lose when you are close to your goal.

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KNYAGENYA 8/25/2013 4:34PM


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MYUTMOST4HIM 8/25/2013 4:32PM

    I have always said "You have to be your own best friend"!!! I love your attitude emoticon

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Feeling Ö Lost

Monday, August 19, 2013

I havenít been so good lately about tracking my food or even eating right. Dinner Friday consisted of chips, queso and margaritas. And I did not intend for it to be, so no, it wasnít one of those planned splurges. It was just me eating too much. I also didnít work out on Saturday or Sunday. It has probably been months since I missed both weekend day workouts (Iím always a little more sporadic during the week with my work schedule). I wish I could say that last week was the rare exception. Except it hasnít been. The few weeks (almost a month), I have just been off my rocker. And I canít even explain why. I really have no excuse.

Except that Iím tired. Iím tired of worrying about what I eat all the time (even though I know I have to). I am tired of working out (even though I know I have to). I feel like Iím just floating along Ė lost and uncommitted.

And that scares me. Because I canít afford to be tired or lost or uncommitted if Iím going to reach my goal and stay there. I need a kick in the pants. But I donít know how to do that.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOODWITCH333 8/25/2013 6:43AM

    Thank you for posting this. I think anyone who works at loosing weight and being healthier feels this at some (several) points in their journey.

For me, one of the big factors seems to be the constant suggestion that "you can drop a dress size by (insert next holiday). Advertisements make it all look so easy. Tabloids make it look like if you are struggling it's because you just don't know their fast, easy, painless method to lasting sveltness! The media makes me feel stupid, lazy and un-committed because the goals they state are beyond my abilities.

The reality is that it IS a lot of hard work. It IS a lot of saying either no or just a smidgen when you want to face plant and nom-nom the entire cake. It IS making yourself stand up and march in place every time you watch spark coach, or at every commercial, even in your "down-time". It IS measuring the food you eat and the circumference of your belly. And it takes time...not just a few easy weeks.

Sometimes when I'm lost, I have to stop, take a deep breath, look around me and get my bearings.

The important thing is that it IS worth it. YOU are worth it. Your health is worth it.

and so am I. emoticon

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HLISPAP 8/19/2013 12:19PM

    While I know this is not for everyone, still, I have just switched to the No S Diet method because of it's serious simplicity. The 'rules' are so straightforward and it is so freeing, that I can't help but mention it for you to check out.

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FUNLOVEN 8/19/2013 11:11AM

    I know exactly how you are feeling because I feel the same way right now. Who knows why these feelings strike us. For me it is sort of stress related as I am sooo much busier than I want to be. It makes everything in life seem overwhelming! I know that I am feeling "tired of it all" too and I just want to be at this journey's end because it has got to be easier on maintenance. Right?!

Well, today is Monday and we all can relate to that "fresh & new" feeling that Mondays can bring. It is a good day to start over and get back on track. I like the suggestions that WATERONE made. My goals right now are to "recenter" myself so that I remain calm and then to set just 1 or 2 small goals for myself. Something so simple it is a no brainer. Like drinking 8 glasses of water a day or going for a 10 minute walk each day.

So close your eyes and take a deep breath. Smile to yourself. Set a simple goal and work on achieving it one day at a time emoticon

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VANNAH2014 8/19/2013 10:54AM

    I think we all have some days where we don't want to do anything and when we go for the worse option when it comes to food. For me, I have gotten to the point where I enjoy to go out and exercise. I have learned to choose the "healthier" option when I am eating. When I have those days where I just want to eat "bad" food, I just eat less of it then I normally would because then I feel like I had it. DON'T STRESS OUT ABOUT IT! I would stress out about whatever ALL the time and that got me nowhere! I am glad that you came here for help. This is the start of my third week on SparkPeople and I have been doing great, I have noticed a lot of changes. Imagine how you would feel after making the changes. Good luck! emoticon

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WATERONE 8/19/2013 10:43AM

    I've been there too, Marf226. In fact I spent years there.

The first step is to stop beating yourself up. The angrier you get with yourself the worse you will feel and you start thinking "Who do I think am I fooling? I won't be able to follow through on this so why try?"

Make a fist and virtually knock that nay saying, defeatist part of yourself out of your way. emoticon You are worth all the effort, time and sweat it will take to reach your goal.

Second, take a look at your goals. Are they too grand? Will they take a long time to reach. That's what I always did and I'd get discouraged and give up. You can still have those grand goals just add small goals to fill in the space between where you are and where you want to be. This has helped me a lot. Achieving a small goal feels great and motivates me to keep going. And they are maps that can keep you from getting lost.

Third, so you didn't stick to your plan over the weekend, you aren't perfect, no one is. Shrug your shoulders, pack the weekend and your self-hate in a box and toss it in the garbage where it belongs. Imagine that box getting smashed flat in the trash truck. Then move on. emoticon

I'm cheering you on your journey.

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I have to say it out loud

Monday, July 08, 2013

I suck at relationships. They scare me. Iím sensitive by nature and also a little distrustful. Most women are flattered when men say theyíre beautiful; I am suspicious. Iím also not good at opening up and being vulnerable in general. Obviously, the mature thing to do is to avoid such situations and relationships. And thatís what Iíve done (rather successfully, I might add). My weight wasnít an effort to deter relationships but it have an impact, for sure. I used to be the chubby girl with the pretty face. But now that Iím down to a healthy weight, I attract a different kind of male attention. Itís a change.

Iím still adjusting.

Okay, fine. Iím not dealing with it well.

At all.

I purchased and consumed potato chips last Saturday. A whole bag over the course of a few days. Reduced fat ones, but thereís still a whole lot of empty calories in reduced fat potato chips. I drank too much wine the other night with a girlfriend. I pretended that it was okay because she was going through a breakup. But her breakup does not need to end up on my thighs. Then I had dinner with friends last night and ate too much. I donít know the last time I was that full. I felt awful.

I decided on my way home from dinner that I have to be real about why I am eating/drinking and generally feeling out of control. Itís that Iím a complete scaredy cat. Iím freaking out because thereís a guy who seems to genuinely like me. Who says crazy things like, I think youíre beautiful and I couldnít stop staring at you when we met. Sweet, right? Pass the potato chips.

I need to work on calming down, for one. And more importantly not allowing my craziness to manifest in eating the wrong things or even too much of the healthy things. Admitting this, and saying it out loud (writing, whatever) is my first baby step.

PS Ė to all who read & posted on my previous blog emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADEIT3 7/13/2013 11:20AM

    Seeing what you're doing is a big step. Maybe time to learn about how to be in relationships? I've always been really thin-skinned. What other people said or didn't say about me really hurt my feelings. What I've learned is that other people spend almost all their time thinking about themselves, and whatever they do to hurt me is almost always about them - not me. Somehow, that has really helped me! I hope it helps you.

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ASTRA58 7/12/2013 12:02PM

    I put on my weight mostly because I was afraid of just such attention. I felt comfortable being anonymous. When I finally realized just how much I was hurting myself by the weight and the fear, I made the decision to start working on the fear. It wasn't right that it was crippling me and preventing me from experiencing all life had to offer. I also knew that if I didn't deal with the fear I would put the weight back on again.

I want to be able to live my life without being afraid of relationships. So like you, I am taking baby steps in the direction of not feeling fear, or if I do, pushing through it. It will not stop me from being healthy anymore.

Together we can work through this.

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LSDALOIA 7/12/2013 8:40AM

    I'm starting to realize that fear is something that we need to work through to propel us to a new place. I'm working on a start-up and a part of me is excited, and another part of me is scared to death. I thought about this fear while I was hiking over the 4th. At the top of the mountain there was a huge fire watch tower. I got 2/3 of the way up it and was scared and went down. I forced myself to go back up it. I'm starting to get stronger about facing my fears. Perhaps it's like a muscle that we have to exercise and train?

Just food for thought.....


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SUNNYRUTH 7/11/2013 11:08AM

    You're always OK. Sometimes we slip, then we get right back on the wagon.

As someone who has struggled throughout my life with body image, I completely understand being a little kerfluffled by attention. We're all "works in process!"

You can do it - keep up the insights and learning and all the healthy habits you've been practicing.

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FUNLOVEN 7/8/2013 7:54PM

    You know, sometimes, it is just too much to deal with everything. So now that you have gotten this off your chest hop back on the SP band wagon and focus on what matters most to you emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 7/8/2013 5:49PM

    Baby steps are how we get from place. We all have something that gets in our way. Thank you for letting us know how to help you!

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JETHROMAMA 7/8/2013 5:26PM

    Congratulations on Step 1 - identifying it. I identified with A LOT in this blog, so it helped me, too.

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SHARONCAPPS 7/8/2013 5:23PM

  Just keep telling yourself how great that you have done. Don't let a man get in your way with your health. Go slow and see where it leads. You might just enjoy it.

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