MARF226   31,226
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MARF226's Recent Blog Entries

My Feelings Taste Delicious

Thursday, October 10, 2013

I have been a little bit of a mess lately. Maybe not a little. More like a lot. Thereís been so much going on. Iím in a new position at work and on such a steep learning curve. Everything is taking me so long to do because I have no idea where to start. In my free time, Iíve been trying to buy my first house. Turns out this process is not as fun and easy as HGTV makes it seem. To be honest, it sucks. Itís scary and stressful. And holy thatís a lot of money! I will negotiate and commit millions of dollars of my employerís money and think nothing of it. But spending more than $100 of my own money is a different story. Plus compulsive perfectionist in me is terrified that Iím going to screw it up somehow.

Unfortunately, Iíve found myself eating my emotions. The good/bad news here is theyíre delicious because they taste like peanut M&Ms. Every year I bring in Halloween candy to the office. Iím not much of a sweets person so Iíve never had a problem resisting it. This year, I swear Iím going to turn into a Fun Size pack of peanut M&Ms. Every time I walk by, I grab one. Itís awful! And with everything else going on, I havenít been working out consistently either. In a good week, I can usually get in my 90 minutes of cardio by Tuesday. Here it is Thursday, and Iíve worked out once this week. But itís hard when I donít leave the office until late and then need to go do stuff for the house (like yesterday when I had to get the contract ready to make an offer).

I was thinking this morning how grateful I am to have SP. Spark has helped me recognize when Iím eating to cope. And also recongize that it's really not helpful. Before I joined, Iím not sure I was even aware of that. Silver lining here, maybe?

Anyway, I am SUPER excited to get back on track with the 5% challenge!! GO STARFISH!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOCALGAL 10/11/2013 9:32PM

    OMG! I do not even want to think about what my emotions taste like because I won't be able to stop thinking about them!! emoticon

Stress and availability are two dangerous companions. emoticon emoticon

You need to be proactive and find a way to overcome! emoticon

Good luck and success from a fellow Starfish! emoticon


Comment edited on: 10/11/2013 9:34:35 PM

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WATERONE 10/10/2013 4:48PM

    You will get back on track. Recognizing what is going on and triggering the eating is a big step forward.

Buying a house is a big step but it is so wonderful to have your own place. You will do great at work, at home and in the challenge. I believe in you.

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KIMPY225 10/10/2013 12:14PM

    Yay Starfish!
Sorry to hear about the extra snacking! Maybe you can close your eyes next time you walk by! I like the idea of having apples instead of candy!

I am starting my search for a home also - and the amount of money you have to spend is crazy! I didn't even get pre-approved yet, but just seeing some sample cost sheets makes me get so anxious!


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ROCKPORT9 10/10/2013 11:56AM

    I love this blog and it is hitting home right now. My emotions taste like a cinnamon roll, maybe some hot chai tea latte...hmmmm....we will get past this with the help of the Fall challenge. Hugs, Laurel

Comment edited on: 10/10/2013 11:58:02 AM

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FIT4MEIN2013 10/10/2013 11:11AM

    LOL! Eating your emotions. I like that! I make sure to buy only candy that I don't like.

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SHOURESSOOTE 10/10/2013 11:10AM

  Oh, my goodness: the title of your post made me laugh, because I can so relate! Do you think it would help if you set up a task to do before you let yourself have some M&Ms? I tell myself that I can't have (whatever junk food) until I run a mile, for instance, and a lot of times, I just don't want to go there, so I avoid the candy.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 10/10/2013 10:50AM

    Perhaps if the M&Ms aren't good for you, they aren't good for anyone else in the office, either - how about bringing in nice crisp apples, instead?

I try to control my environment by limiting the availability of temptations. When the carp hits the fan, I sometimes find things tempting that otherwise wouldn't be, so for a while I have to limit access to them.

Hang in there.


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KNYAGENYA 10/10/2013 10:33AM


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Time to Give Away Clothes? Update!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Well, I did it. I went through my closet over the weekend and started sorting out the clothes that don't fit anymore. Once I got started, I just kept going. I was ruthless. Things I don't wear, don't like, not sure why I bought in the first place -- in the pile. Shoes that don't fit or are uncomfortable -- in the pile. Only worn once dresses from weddings and Christmas parties -- in the pile. Ratty PJs and old stained shirts -- in the pile.

By the time I was done, I had this in the middle of my living room (only I promise it wasn't sideways):

I am donating the things worth donating and the rest have gone in the trash.

I'm amazed at how much space I have in my closet. I'm also pretty disgusted with myself for having so much in the first place. No one needs this many clothes. I've decided I need to do better with that and not buy just for the sake of buying.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKPORT9 10/6/2013 10:52AM

    How fun! emoticon Laurel

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CALLIESWEET 9/20/2013 11:14PM

    Ahhh...isn't that just the best feeling? And more room for new, smaller clothes down the road!

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WATERONE 9/17/2013 12:28PM


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FUNLOVEN 9/16/2013 7:47PM

    Some sorts of purging can feel so good! And your right about having way more in our closets then we really need. Which reminds me, I need some new black flats to go with my 2 black dress boots and black high heels, and black mid heels! Looks like I also need a pair of casual black boots too. Did I mention I love to shop - LOL!

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FUNLOVEN 9/16/2013 7:47PM

    Some sorts of purging can feel so good! And your right about having way more in our closets then we really need. Which reminds me, I need some new black flats to go with my 2 black dress boots and black high heels, and black mid heels! Looks like I also need a pair of casual black boots too. Did I mention I love to shop - LOL!

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FUNLOVEN 9/16/2013 7:47PM

    Some sorts of purging can feel so good! And your right about having way more in our closets then we really need. Which reminds me, I need some new black flats to go with my 2 black dress boots and black high heels, and black mid heels! Looks like I also need a pair of casual black boots too. Did I mention I love to shop - LOL!

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FUNLOVEN 9/16/2013 7:46PM

    Some sorts of purging can feel so good! And your right about having way more in our closets then we really need. Which reminds me, I need some new black flats to go with my 2 black dress boots and black high heels, and black mid heels! Looks like I also need a pair of casual black boots too. Did I mention I love to shop - LOL!

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FUNLOVEN 9/16/2013 7:46PM

    Some sorts of purging can feel so good! And your right about having way more in our closets then we really need. Which reminds me, I need some new black flats to go with my 2 black dress boots and black high heels, and black mid heels! Looks like I also need a pair of casual black boots too. Did I mention I love to shop - LOL!

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GRANDMABABA 9/16/2013 5:32PM

    I just gave away another pile of things that are too big these days. I don't have lots of space so I decided awhile ago that whenever I buy something new I will get rid of something old. That has worked pretty well. Great success to you.

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KALISWALKER 9/16/2013 4:48PM

    LOL what timing, I need some inspiration. Today I have ALL my clothes out of my closet and on a wheeled clothes rod (like in a store) so I can 'shop my clothes'. I got rid of my too big clothes in the last few weeks, now I need to sort through what is left.

emoticon there are people who will appreciate your donation.

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Time to Give Away Clothes?

Monday, September 09, 2013

I have lost about 50 pounds (it varies by the day). I still have about 6 more pounds to my goal weight but as I have previously blogged, my dedication and motivation to keep losing is seriously waning. I decided it was time to take control when my size 12 clothes werenít fitting and I had to buy a few size 14 items. I am now down to a size 4/6 depending on the store (I even have one size 2 skirt that I never wear but I had to buy). In the 18 months since I started this journey, I have given away all of my size 14 clothes and most of the size 12. But I basically have clothes in every size from a 2 to a 12. Boxes and boxes worth.

Iím about to buy my first house and Iím doing a preliminary pre-move inventory asking, ďdo I really want to move thisĒ? And as I looked at the boxes in my closet, it seems silly to move all of these clothes that donít fit. Especially in this case, when itís not like I hope Iíll fit into them again one day. In fact, I hope I never fit into them again.

But I also know that life happens and weight loss and maintenance isnít easy and thereís a 95% percent chance that those clothes WILL fit again. And I don't want to have to go buy new clothes when I had a whole wardrobe full.

So whatís a girl to do?? Do I give them all away? Do I keep some? Thoughts, advice, suggestions??

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RX_2_RV 9/12/2013 4:56PM

    Congrats on the purchase of your first home!

Get rid of all the clothes that are too big. I am a yo-yo dieter and have kept a few things but I wouldn't recommend it. It's better to force yourself back on track by refusing to buy the next size up.

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WATERONE 9/10/2013 2:19PM

    First, emoticon on what you accomplished.

What if you picked a couple of things from each size you've undergrown to give away. That would be a start. Are any of them so old that they are out of style and you really hope that style never comes back? Are there any that are stretched, faded, stained? Those could be the first ones you toss.

I'm writing here what I've been telling myself. I have a similar problem getting rid of larger clothes because so many times I've gained the weight back. I'm just 2 months into this journey but I do have some clothes that are now too big to wear. I'm waffling at getting rid of them and thinking about doing it gradually to show confidence in my ability to not do this again. So I'm going to get rid of three pairs of pants that I've never been happy with even when they were the only things I could wear.

And since I told you I was going to do it, I guess I have to.

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PSIMSON 9/10/2013 12:57PM

    I've gone from a size 20 to a size 12 and I couldn't donate those larger sizes fast enough to a charity. Believe that you are never going back and then work hard to make it a reality. You've come so far, keep going!

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THOMASINA57 9/10/2013 11:43AM

    I'd say donate most of them and just keep a few for a safety net. A lot of folks, me included are comfortable buying donated clothing from charity shops, which helps with any rebound weight gain.

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FUNLOVEN 9/10/2013 8:10AM

    One, Two, Three heave ho! Give them all away. Besides after all this time and, heavens forbid, any weight gain in the future, you will need a fashion update.

I see you are part of the At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team. I have read so many positive comments about that team and how they have been the key to helping people maintain. So think positive and know that you will never need those clothes again emoticon

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KALISWALKER 9/10/2013 12:41AM

    You'll have to let us know what you decide to do with the big clothes.

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KALISWALKER 9/9/2013 4:40PM

    I recently became a size large down from the XL and XXL. I donated the clothes and have no safety net. It was about making a lifetime decision there is not going back.

Comment edited on: 9/9/2013 4:48:17 PM

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KELLIEBEAN 9/9/2013 2:08PM

    I have clothes in size 8 - 14. I have given away the 14s and all of the 12s except for except for one shirt, one pair of jeans and one pair of dress pantsin size 12. So I still have that safety net BUT kind of hard to wear the same thing every day if I gain it back. So that keeps me on track.

Keep looking forward!

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IZZYSTEVENS 9/9/2013 12:26PM

  I say get rid of them. The thing that spurred me on my latest journey (and which is keeping me from falling off the wagon) is the fact that as soon as it turns cold, I have NO clothes that will fit me. Not even my "fat jeans" from last winter. I'll be cold and nekkid, and I absolutely refuse to go to the store and buy new, bigger clothes.

Maybe keep a selection of the ones you really really like one or two sizes larger, but get rid of those size 12s forever.

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Being a Friend to Myself

Sunday, August 25, 2013

I have put on 5 pounds and am now 8 pounds way from goal. I know Iím not working hard enough and itís showing on the scale (and yesterday, in how my pants fit). I lost 50 pounds with very few struggles with motivation. Now, I canít seem to stop struggling with motivation. I donít feel good physically or mentally. (Seriously, I havenít had clothes in my closet be too tight in 18 months. Itís not a good feeling). I want to get it together and I just canít.

And I found an article here on SP about motivation and it asked a question (well it asked lots of questions but Iím going to answer this one): If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with this problem, what would I say to them? Would I tell them itís a lost cause?

Of course not. So why do we say nice things to others and not ourselves? I donít know. But Iím going to break the cycle and Iím going to say all those nice things to ME.

Way to be your own worst enemy, Martha. This is hardly a lost cause. Game plan: focus on what I do right instead of what I do wrong. Every little bit counts and something is always better than nothing. Try taking those most basic baby steps again Ė did I drink all my water, get all my freggies, and 8 hours of sleep? And be kind to myself! Everything else will follow.

Interestingly enough, that really did make me feel better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNLOVEN 8/26/2013 8:44AM

    Sometimes just putting it all out there in a blog helps solidify the plan.

We are here for you emoticon

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WATERONE 8/26/2013 6:16AM

    emoticon topic and post. We are too often our own worst enemies instead of our best friends. You've accomplished so much. I think we forget that maintenance is often harder than losing when we are fired with enthusiasm and focused on a goal. emoticon because you are emoticon

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MJREIMERS 8/25/2013 9:03PM

    So true! What worked for me was everyday when I looked in the mirror I found one positive thing. Maybe I did my makeup well, my hair looks good, my eyes are bluer with this shirt on, etc.

I'd also look around at my life. I have a great husband, my kids are health and doing well, my pets are a comfort to me, I have a job I like, I talk to my mom almost daily, etc.

Believe it will change the way you think. I now have a much more positive attitude and it makes EVERYTHING better. My little motto is Let go.Be.

Google it. It's a great message and before I had it tattooed on my wrist, I had it on a bracelet. It means let go of the past, let go of the negatives, let go of everything that is "tripping you up." Be in this moment. Be a better mom, wife, human. Be positive. Be YOU!

I hope this helps. I was there, the place I'm at is much better. Take my hand and I'll pull you up so you can Let go. Be!

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FIRYMIST35 8/25/2013 4:38PM

  Try to be nice to yourself! I've found it's always more difficult to lose when you are close to your goal.

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KNYAGENYA 8/25/2013 4:34PM


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MYUTMOST4HIM 8/25/2013 4:32PM

    I have always said "You have to be your own best friend"!!! I love your attitude emoticon

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Feeling Ö Lost

Monday, August 19, 2013

I havenít been so good lately about tracking my food or even eating right. Dinner Friday consisted of chips, queso and margaritas. And I did not intend for it to be, so no, it wasnít one of those planned splurges. It was just me eating too much. I also didnít work out on Saturday or Sunday. It has probably been months since I missed both weekend day workouts (Iím always a little more sporadic during the week with my work schedule). I wish I could say that last week was the rare exception. Except it hasnít been. The few weeks (almost a month), I have just been off my rocker. And I canít even explain why. I really have no excuse.

Except that Iím tired. Iím tired of worrying about what I eat all the time (even though I know I have to). I am tired of working out (even though I know I have to). I feel like Iím just floating along Ė lost and uncommitted.

And that scares me. Because I canít afford to be tired or lost or uncommitted if Iím going to reach my goal and stay there. I need a kick in the pants. But I donít know how to do that.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOODWITCH333 8/25/2013 6:43AM

    Thank you for posting this. I think anyone who works at loosing weight and being healthier feels this at some (several) points in their journey.

For me, one of the big factors seems to be the constant suggestion that "you can drop a dress size by (insert next holiday). Advertisements make it all look so easy. Tabloids make it look like if you are struggling it's because you just don't know their fast, easy, painless method to lasting sveltness! The media makes me feel stupid, lazy and un-committed because the goals they state are beyond my abilities.

The reality is that it IS a lot of hard work. It IS a lot of saying either no or just a smidgen when you want to face plant and nom-nom the entire cake. It IS making yourself stand up and march in place every time you watch spark coach, or at every commercial, even in your "down-time". It IS measuring the food you eat and the circumference of your belly. And it takes time...not just a few easy weeks.

Sometimes when I'm lost, I have to stop, take a deep breath, look around me and get my bearings.

The important thing is that it IS worth it. YOU are worth it. Your health is worth it.

and so am I. emoticon

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HLISPAP 8/19/2013 12:19PM

    While I know this is not for everyone, still, I have just switched to the No S Diet method because of it's serious simplicity. The 'rules' are so straightforward and it is so freeing, that I can't help but mention it for you to check out.

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FUNLOVEN 8/19/2013 11:11AM

    I know exactly how you are feeling because I feel the same way right now. Who knows why these feelings strike us. For me it is sort of stress related as I am sooo much busier than I want to be. It makes everything in life seem overwhelming! I know that I am feeling "tired of it all" too and I just want to be at this journey's end because it has got to be easier on maintenance. Right?!

Well, today is Monday and we all can relate to that "fresh & new" feeling that Mondays can bring. It is a good day to start over and get back on track. I like the suggestions that WATERONE made. My goals right now are to "recenter" myself so that I remain calm and then to set just 1 or 2 small goals for myself. Something so simple it is a no brainer. Like drinking 8 glasses of water a day or going for a 10 minute walk each day.

So close your eyes and take a deep breath. Smile to yourself. Set a simple goal and work on achieving it one day at a time emoticon

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VANNAH2014 8/19/2013 10:54AM

    I think we all have some days where we don't want to do anything and when we go for the worse option when it comes to food. For me, I have gotten to the point where I enjoy to go out and exercise. I have learned to choose the "healthier" option when I am eating. When I have those days where I just want to eat "bad" food, I just eat less of it then I normally would because then I feel like I had it. DON'T STRESS OUT ABOUT IT! I would stress out about whatever ALL the time and that got me nowhere! I am glad that you came here for help. This is the start of my third week on SparkPeople and I have been doing great, I have noticed a lot of changes. Imagine how you would feel after making the changes. Good luck! emoticon

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WATERONE 8/19/2013 10:43AM

    I've been there too, Marf226. In fact I spent years there.

The first step is to stop beating yourself up. The angrier you get with yourself the worse you will feel and you start thinking "Who do I think am I fooling? I won't be able to follow through on this so why try?"

Make a fist and virtually knock that nay saying, defeatist part of yourself out of your way. emoticon You are worth all the effort, time and sweat it will take to reach your goal.

Second, take a look at your goals. Are they too grand? Will they take a long time to reach. That's what I always did and I'd get discouraged and give up. You can still have those grand goals just add small goals to fill in the space between where you are and where you want to be. This has helped me a lot. Achieving a small goal feels great and motivates me to keep going. And they are maps that can keep you from getting lost.

Third, so you didn't stick to your plan over the weekend, you aren't perfect, no one is. Shrug your shoulders, pack the weekend and your self-hate in a box and toss it in the garbage where it belongs. Imagine that box getting smashed flat in the trash truck. Then move on. emoticon

I'm cheering you on your journey.

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