Thursday, October 10, 2013
I have been a little bit of a mess lately. Maybe not a little. More like a lot. Thereís been so much going on. Iím in a new position at work and on such a steep learning curve. Everything is taking me so long to do because I have no idea where to start. In my free time, Iíve been trying to buy my first house. Turns out this process is not as fun and easy as HGTV makes it seem. To be honest, it sucks. Itís scary and stressful. And holy thatís a lot of money! I will negotiate and commit millions of dollars of my employerís money and think nothing of it. But spending more than $100 of my own money is a different story. Plus compulsive perfectionist in me is terrified that Iím going to screw it up somehow.
Unfortunately, Iíve found myself eating my emotions. The good/bad news here is theyíre delicious because they taste like peanut M&Ms. Every year I bring in Halloween candy to the office. Iím not much of a sweets person so Iíve never had a problem resisting it. This year, I swear Iím going to turn into a Fun Size pack of peanut M&Ms. Every time I walk by, I grab one. Itís awful! And with everything else going on, I havenít been working out consistently either. In a good week, I can usually get in my 90 minutes of cardio by Tuesday. Here it is Thursday, and Iíve worked out once this week. But itís hard when I donít leave the office until late and then need to go do stuff for the house (like yesterday when I had to get the contract ready to make an offer).
I was thinking this morning how grateful I am to have SP. Spark has helped me recognize when Iím eating to cope. And also recongize that it's really not helpful. Before I joined, Iím not sure I was even aware of that. Silver lining here, maybe?
Anyway, I am SUPER excited to get back on track with the 5% challenge!! GO STARFISH!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Well, I did it. I went through my closet over the weekend and started sorting out the clothes that don't fit anymore. Once I got started, I just kept going. I was ruthless. Things I don't wear, don't like, not sure why I bought in the first place -- in the pile. Shoes that don't fit or are uncomfortable -- in the pile. Only worn once dresses from weddings and Christmas parties -- in the pile. Ratty PJs and old stained shirts -- in the pile.
By the time I was done, I had this in the middle of my living room (only I promise it wasn't sideways):
I am donating the things worth donating and the rest have gone in the trash.
I'm amazed at how much space I have in my closet. I'm also pretty disgusted with myself for having so much in the first place. No one needs this many clothes. I've decided I need to do better with that and not buy just for the sake of buying.
Monday, September 09, 2013
I have lost about 50 pounds (it varies by the day). I still have about 6 more pounds to my goal weight but as I have previously blogged, my dedication and motivation to keep losing is seriously waning. I decided it was time to take control when my size 12 clothes werenít fitting and I had to buy a few size 14 items. I am now down to a size 4/6 depending on the store (I even have one size 2 skirt that I never wear but I had to buy). In the 18 months since I started this journey, I have given away all of my size 14 clothes and most of the size 12. But I basically have clothes in every size from a 2 to a 12. Boxes and boxes worth.
Iím about to buy my first house and Iím doing a preliminary pre-move inventory asking, ďdo I really want to move thisĒ? And as I looked at the boxes in my closet, it seems silly to move all of these clothes that donít fit. Especially in this case, when itís not like I hope Iíll fit into them again one day. In fact, I hope I never fit into them again.
But I also know that life happens and weight loss and maintenance isnít easy and thereís a 95% percent chance that those clothes WILL fit again. And I don't want to have to go buy new clothes when I had a whole wardrobe full.
So whatís a girl to do?? Do I give them all away? Do I keep some? Thoughts, advice, suggestions??
Sunday, August 25, 2013
I have put on 5 pounds and am now 8 pounds way from goal. I know Iím not working hard enough and itís showing on the scale (and yesterday, in how my pants fit). I lost 50 pounds with very few struggles with motivation. Now, I canít seem to stop struggling with motivation. I donít feel good physically or mentally. (Seriously, I havenít had clothes in my closet be too tight in 18 months. Itís not a good feeling). I want to get it together and I just canít.
And I found an article here on SP about motivation and it asked a question (well it asked lots of questions but Iím going to answer this one): If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with this problem, what would I say to them? Would I tell them itís a lost cause?
Of course not. So why do we say nice things to others and not ourselves? I donít know. But Iím going to break the cycle and Iím going to say all those nice things to ME.
Way to be your own worst enemy, Martha. This is hardly a lost cause. Game plan: focus on what I do right instead of what I do wrong. Every little bit counts and something is always better than nothing. Try taking those most basic baby steps again Ė did I drink all my water, get all my freggies, and 8 hours of sleep? And be kind to myself! Everything else will follow.
Interestingly enough, that really did make me feel better.
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