Thursday, June 13, 2013
I feel like the only time I ever blog is to complain about things. And I should work on doing better to celebrate the good and positive and not just focus on the negative. That said, I'm irritated. haha
I was talking to one of my closest friends yesterday. I was talking to her about the silly drama of a single girl. Cut to the chase, I told her I might consider it if this guy wants to take me to out a NICE dinner with a NICE bottle of wine Ė where NICE means expensive because he can totally afford it (and heís such a goober, he really owes me one). Then I was saying there are so many great restaurants here in town that I donít go to because theyíre pricey and it would be such fun to go if he's paying. Except, I told her, Iíd get fat eating out that much.
Oh stop, she says. You look great. You worry too much about your weight. Maintaining weight loss is so much more fun and you should relax.
Good thing we were on the phone or I might have punched her. First of all, I still have 5 pounds to my goal weight so I should still be creating calorie deficits, not maintaining.
Second of all, yes, maintaining is so easy and so much fun that 95% of people who lose weight regain all of it and then some. I want to be in the 5% club. So no, I donít think I worry too much. In fact, Iím not sure I worry enough. Like I skipped the gym last night. (Not for lack of trying Ė I forgot my snacks for work, so I was starving when I left. I went home to eat and figured Iíd use the little gym in my building after dinner. Except everyone seemed to have the same thought and all 6 cardio machines were taken; so I ran some stairs to get my heart rate up and did some pushups and called it a day. Which I know was totally slacking and not good).
And to be totally ugly Ė sheís got quite a bit of weight to lose herself, so sheís one to talk about what it takes to maintain a healthy weight.
Stuff like that makes me crazy. If an alcoholic were to dry out, no one would tell her in 18 months Ė hey youíve been doing good for so long, go ahead and have a couple beers; you donít do it every day. Why is acceptable to tell someone who abused food, go ahead and eat like crap, itís not a big deal.
Granted, my abuse wasnít a full blown addiction, but it was abuse. I used it as a reward for doing things I didnít want to do. I used it as a comfort when I was lonely or unhappy. Itís easier now than it was because Iíve created new habits to fall back on. But just like an addict, I still need to be conscientious every day. Because I know that as soon as I ďrelaxĒ Iím going to get fat again. And I donít want to do that.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The other day, a coworker offers me some chocolate. No thanks, I tell him. He tries again, but itís the really good stuff, címon itís in my office down the hall. Irritated, because I had already declined once, I reply firmly, no thank you, I'm working on losing 7 pounds and I've been doing very well and Iím going to stay on track. He sort of chuckles but doesnít say anything else and wanders away.
Of course by the end of the day, other coworkers are coming by and asking if Iím really trying to lose 7 pounds. Not in a supportive way.
Today, we had cakes and cookies brought in for a meeting. I went straight for the bottled water and nothing else. The admin objects, we ordered gluten free stuff just for you! So I told her that she should have asked me first because I would have told her not to! Then as people were eating, I got the dirtiest looks. At one point people were actually laughing at me.
I WAS MIFFED. I told one person that he could stare at me all he wanted because I wasnít going to give in. Donít get me wrong, if I had known in advanced and planned for it, I would have been all over the gluten free treats. But I didnít and Iím not going to be derailed.
I just donít understand why people feel entitled to comment or downright bully others because theyíre trying to be healthy. Of what concern is it to them whether I eat a piece of cake or not?
The worst part is Iíve lost more than 7 pounds in the 9 months since Iíve started in this job and no one has cared or particularly noticed. The only difference now is Iím so close to my goal weight that I'm making an extra concerted and conscious effort. I regret saying anything in the first place.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
As Iím working my way through the first week of the 5% Challenge, successful completion of which will get me down to my final goal weight, Iíve decided itís also a good time to consider how far Iíve come. I learned that a gallon of milk weighs about 8 pounds. SoÖ hereís a picture of roughly the amount of weight Iíve lost Ė in gallons of milk:
Pretty amazing that I used to be lugging that much around with me all the time. Just about one more gallon to go!!
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
I survived the weekend. As predicted, my family is crazy and a little stressful. But theyíre family and it was good to see them. My mother bought expensive chocolates for an ďEaster basket.Ē It was well meaning, but she really ought to know better by now because I donít eat that stuff. She bought some last year too and I never ate it, so itís still in the freezer. (I should probably toss it by now because itís probably gross). I left it all with my sister because she is obsessed with this particular brand of chocolate. The only thing I did keep from my mom was jellybeans.
So ask me how the first day of my ďsugar detoxĒ went. Mid-morning as Iím packing to go to the airport, Iím munching on a bag of jellybeans when I remember Ė OH SHOOT! Itís Monday and Iím supposed to be detoxing. Off to a great start. I text my friend that I had blown it and she replies, me too Iím eating a Lean Cuisine. Clearly she and I rock at detoxing. So I started again yesterday and did much better. No jellybeans or other refined sugars or processed carbs. Woot woot.
And another funny thing. I was free on Sunday to indulge in as much Diet Coke as I wanted. We go out for Easter dinner and the waitress brings me a massive Diet Coke and I take a big sip ANDÖ it was ok. (GASP!) I mean, it wasnít bad. It just wasnít really all that exciting either. I think after 40 days of not having it, Iím kinda over it. I donít even miss it anymore. Of course Iíve said it before and I somehow end up sliding back into it. So weíll see.
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