MARCYNA   18,119
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Not expecting so but ...everything changed.

Friday, August 27, 2010

To tell you the truth , I was not prepared to what came out of my holiday...it started out in a really bad way, I did not feel very well and felt too weak to do anything.
I felt I had wasted time and that I would not even get back in really good shape, but suddenly something changed everything.
I went to a dance studio in the centre of town and found I could just hop in and choose a class.
So I chose some classes and went there as many times as I could, it was unbelievable, I met true professional people and I learnt so much...I'm all sore but the classes were perfect.
So everything changed....against all odds.
What should I add?
Thank you for bearing with me - and for encouragements, they really mean a lot to me.
emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PASTAFASUL 8/29/2010 10:11AM

    Dancing is an expression of your inner being. You are very in tune with your body and movements. I'm so happy you found the classes.

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CMRAND54 8/27/2010 8:54PM

    That calls for a big emoticon

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 8/27/2010 4:34PM

    Dance class that is great. I will be so glad when I can afford to do that. I would like to learn some different dance moves rather that watch them on TV. You are doing so great.

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HOPE2BE 8/27/2010 4:12PM

    I would love to be in a dance class again. Keep it up and go show them.

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FRECKALYMC 8/27/2010 3:05PM

    This is so cool...sometimes the perfect thing just opens up for us. Dance, girl, dance.



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SCREWIE 8/27/2010 2:42PM

    Great! Glad the dance school worked out good :)

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KOPSBABY 8/27/2010 2:03PM

    How wonderful to have found something you truly enjoy. I love to dance as well but for me to find a class I'd have to drive 30 minutes one way and only in the evenings as I work during the day. Hopefully some day there'll be something close. I'm glad you found something that works for you.

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1888MICHELLE 8/27/2010 12:21PM

    wonderful things can happen when you least expect it!!

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JOHNTJ1 8/27/2010 12:11PM

    I often have this image of me as a very stubborn donkey with his back hooves dug firmly in the ground and God at the front end pulling and tugging and imploring me to go where he leads because as He often says "Trust me John, this is really gonna work out well for you!!!"

Looks like you are allowing God to lead you. Aint it fun?

Much love

John

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ANNAMAENATOR 8/27/2010 12:04PM

    Good for you! Isn't it amazing how a simple thing like discovering something new can really change everything for the better? Have a great weekend and enjoy your dancing!

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It's all wrong

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wow, if I think in my normal terms this holiday's all wrong...anyway I was thinking that whenever our plans are blocked, something better happens, so I'm waiting...for god things to come out of all this.
Love to all of you,miss you

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1888MICHELLE 8/27/2010 12:20PM

    Half the fun of a holiday is exploring and waiting to see what's around the next corner.

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 8/24/2010 8:37PM

    There is a saying that when one door closes anther one opens up. I am glad to hear from you.

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JOHNTJ1 8/24/2010 12:26PM

    I have found that when a good thing fails to materialize a great thing takes its place. I've missed you

Much Love

John

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PMFISH 8/24/2010 12:25PM

    You can vacation any where, any time! Hope you find some enjoyable time for yourself!

Pat

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NJMATTICE 8/24/2010 12:24PM

    I'm sure that you will make something better happen as soon as you adjust yourself! Have a great Tuesday and thanks for sharing your day!
-Nancy

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SCREWIE 8/24/2010 12:18PM

    Naaaa, not all wrong. As they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade :)

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Still dangerous...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I've been in danger this week; but not because of food . I went to a family gathering where I was successful as to food; less as to the way I was feeling.
This time it was my b/f sister who was publicly praised for being superskinny - actually she's born skinny + she's starving herself...
It really got on my nerves the way she got everybody's attention telling how she had just fainted in the gym after a spinning session.
How unhealthy her life/diet must be!!!!....Anyway everybody noticed how wonderful she looked - she was really dressed like a slut...I said something about the need for a balanced lifestyle for all of us - but I'm afraid nobody noticed....
I felt rather uneasy, nobody spoke to me while she was the Queen of the party.
Maybe being presque-anorexic and dressed like a slut is the only way to get noticed in this world....I just can't stand it!!!!!!!
I think I need a bit of advice from my dear SP friends!!!!
I'm still feeling bitter about the whole event.....it was really awful, I think I need to stay away from people as I'm feeling hurt over & over, again .
Whatever my weight.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCREWIE 8/19/2010 5:26AM

    You can't control what goes on around you, but you can control what goes on in you. You know you're doing the right thing, let that be your strength. Whatever anyone else does, let it wash over you.

Try to also see it from a different angle. She's super skinny, starves herself, faints during a spinning class, and dresses "like a slut". There is a possibility (if not likelihood) that there's something going on underneath. She might be ill, some people who were at the gathering realised this, and did what they thought was right to make her feel good so she would feel better about herself and stop those destructive behaviours.

I know it's frustrating when nobody notices how good you are doing yourself, but as long as *you* know you're doing all right, nothing else matters.

Incidentally, I personally take this sort of things as an affront to women in general, and have myself gotten into countless arguments about society's objectification of women through displays of sexualised, unrealistic images. Funny how you never hear of a super skinny bloke who starves himself, faints during a class and dresses like a slut. Not wanting to go into a socio-political rant here, but try also to consider why your b/f's sister feels the need to put herself through all of that, and maybe you'll see that, after all, you pity rather than get angry at her.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2010 5:28:04 AM

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 8/18/2010 9:05PM

    I don't think it is fun to faint anywhere but most of all as you are working out. You are the smart one for eating healthy and just because she wants to look like Twiggy is no sign that you want to. I applaud you for speaking up, after all you are the healthy one.

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CALIMAN1 8/18/2010 3:42PM

    You know the truth about a balanced lifestyle and you know what you need to do to live your life as best you can....

Society views superskinny as super-healthy and we all know that isn't right...but for now, try hard not to let these feelings linger because they will only dampen your spirit and will have no impact on others that they can learn from...

Continue sharing what is good, what is right, and even if you don't think people are listening or watching, even if you touch but ONE life, you have been successful.

So, don't stay away from others...just search your heart for your motivation and share that joy with others...God bless!

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1888MICHELLE 8/18/2010 3:16PM

    And when she's dead or deathly ill because of malnutrition and/or starvation, won't she look great and sexy?

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LHLADY517 8/18/2010 2:40PM

    Hang in there. You know the truth. You're right about her unhealthy lifestyle. It will catch up with here. Keep making healthy choices and don't let others bring you down.

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PWINCESSEMILY 8/18/2010 12:32PM

    Hey there,

I'm a real believer that no one feels better about themselves by bitching about other people.

Maybe she did get all the attention. Maybe her lifestyle is destructive. Perhaps you do deserve more recognition for your healthy, sustainable lifestyle.. but IMO putting more negative energy in the world isn't going to help.

Find security and confidence in your own choices and leave everyone else to theirs. Judging doesn't help any of us.

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CRYSTLE4HIM2010 8/18/2010 10:57AM

    I've been that unhealthy person that doesn't eat, takes laxatives and works out like crazy woman. It is NOT worth it. The control it has over your life is horrible. The hidden shame is another story. Keep on doing it the right way and it will pay off. Be the best you that you can be and the rest will fall into place.

God bless,
Crystle


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NJMATTICE 8/18/2010 10:41AM

    It's no secret that we, as a society, place a high price on "beauty" and our idea of beauty in this country is a bit skewed. Just a fact of life. It sounds as if you fell into that old comparison trap. We all want to feel special and the way people were lavishing praise on the "waif", it's no wonder you couldn't help but notice the differences in treatment. BUT, here's the thing, NO ONE can make you feel good about yourself in a lasting way except for YOU. It's a matter of changing focus from what others may think, to what you think. Loving yourself well is the lasting answer. Good self esteem comes from doing the work. Keep working at building your healthy you and the rest will take care of itself. ( Just writing this as a positive reinforcement to all that I am trying to learn and embrace in my life. I am slowly but surely taking these words to heart. It takes time and practice. Thanks for reminding me.)
-Nancy

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I believe in miracles

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I went shopping with Monique, a dancer and nice person....I was looking for something else but the SALES Sign sent me to JEANS DEPT.
Just for fun , and curiosity, I found a LEVI'S 670 STRAIGHT size 30 with a big big discount....and tried it.
Funny how big it was...29 was out of stock, so I tried 28 with same discount.
I was sure they'd be way too tight...anyway let's try I said- to my utter surprise, I zipped them...they fit perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not wear a 28 as a teenager and was not expecting to wear one now, so I decided to buy it...I was so shocked I could not believe it...and still can hardly believe now...but I believe in miracles
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 8/13/2010 11:38PM

    emoticonnice...

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GMASANDIE 8/13/2010 8:02AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CJKOMODO 8/13/2010 12:15AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BJUMPINGFORJOY 8/12/2010 9:32PM

    Wow you have a lot to be excited about. That is so wonderful.

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MODUPSIE 8/12/2010 6:28PM

    Now that is what I'm talking about!!! Well done!! emoticon emoticon

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HOPE2BE 8/12/2010 2:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JILLWILSON2102 8/12/2010 2:10PM

    And why are you surprised? You have been working diligently on your goals and here is your reward! emoticon

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NOAHSFITMAMA 8/12/2010 12:56PM

    emoticon

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CAZBRAZ 8/12/2010 12:03PM

    Well done you! The reward will be every time you see yourself in the mirror wearing them! Go you! x

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SCREWIE 8/12/2010 11:51AM

    Hey, that's called hard work, not a miracle ;)

Well done!

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CICIDE 8/12/2010 10:59AM

  Well done emoticon

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NJMATTICE 8/12/2010 10:31AM

    The miracle is in the work. Congratulations on a job well done.
-nj

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HALF_THE_GIRL 8/12/2010 10:00AM

    How awesome so happy for you !!

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 8/12/2010 9:41AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWNAC304 8/12/2010 9:38AM

    Hurray for smaller jeans!

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1888MICHELLE 8/12/2010 9:21AM

    I am sooooo happy for you!!! It's such a great feeling when that happens!! More impressive than the stupid scale!!

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ELSCO55 8/12/2010 9:14AM

    emoticon

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What happens on the inside

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Beside thanking you all for your help in this moment of crisis, I am questioning what is really happening inside myself.
I have a body image which was created during my teens, I was a normal teenager with 7/8 plus kilos and always yo-yoing.
Therefore I entered the adult world with a negative idea of myself.
What really 'saved' me was meeting my athletics trainer - who obliged me to train every day.
I lost the 7 kilos and then regained them when I stopped training.
Many of you will just laugh at the idea, but here in my town people are extremely careful about weight - maybe more than in US - and even a few pounds can alter all your social life.
Now I don't want to fall into the same trap, and I know I have to change my negative image - my 'no' to life and to change.
So I've taken some strong decisions:
I'll stick to SP - whatever happens.
I'll try to get rid of negative people - sorry but I just can't stand them.
This is difficult for me as I am realizing the people I see every day seem to fall in this category, so I think I'll be by myself without a social life for a period, until I find the people I like, in the meantime I have the possibility of connecting to all of you, my SP friends.
I know it's going to be hard but I can se no other possibility.
Any comments??????????
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1960ANN 8/11/2010 10:34PM

    Just from reading all the comments on this blog, you should know that we are all here to help you now and forever long you may need us. Start out slow and work your way up, one step at a time. I found the easiest thing for me to change was to make sure I drank my water and did some form of exercise every day. You will be surprised how fast working on these small changes will let you make even bigger and better changes. Stay with the people who like you for who you are not what you should be, they are not real friends. Just stick around and hang on tight, because SparkPeople will give you the best ride of your life. You can do it and we all will help.
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JILLWILSON2102 8/11/2010 11:13AM

    Marcyna, struggling with these decisions is hard, but you must keep yourself a priority. Friendships evolve as well and sometimes the friends just need to know what you are going through in order to support you. Having confidence in the things you need and want and communicating those needs to the people you love opens the door. No one is a mind-reader and with everyone being so busy we can't always pick up on the subtle nuances of someone's mood. Here at SP you always are very open and warm and well spoken in communicating what you are going through - just give your friends the same opportunity. If they don't show the support you need then you know where things stand and you can move on. You make the changes you need to make for you and if your friends are true they will come right along with you on the journey. emoticon

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TINIERTINA 8/11/2010 10:17AM

    I am trying to construct a social life, because a recent move and much too many demands on my time have all but unmoored me. What recently has happened to relatives in my locality who are close to my age, has unmoored them, and contact has been lost. I have emerged only slightly out of isolation; it costs money to have a social life in a big city, and I am going for the low-cost things. I keep my real world separate from my world on SparkPeople, but I know I can have online friends and the support is just as real; and reaching out online helps develop my humor and perspective. It is not so easy to do, and I am late middle aged, been divorced for many years, and I've moved around a lot ... perhaps it could be easier for you at your age ...

Tina

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HPLANDER 8/11/2010 10:00AM

    This journey is very important and it is a lot easier when you surround yourself with positive people. I lost many friends since I started this journey, but I am truly happier. Their attitudes really affected me negatively and now I am free of that. This journey is all about finding yourself and embracing all you have to offer. You can do it and sparkpeople are awesome. You will find the support and compassion you need here. There are so many people in different stages of their journey to help you along the way.

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HEATHER9360 8/11/2010 9:36AM

    I agree, get rid of people who don't make you feel good about yourself. There are so many good, supportive people on Spark so reach out to us. Eventually you can find a group of supportive people to have around you, both on the internet and in real life. When you look for good friends you tend to find them.

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JOYCEMARIE9 8/11/2010 8:59AM

    You have to do what is right for you. It might not be that big of a loss if they are always negative that just brings you down. This site is a very positive place to meet friends and get lots of encouragement I can come here and discuss what I am going through and what I want to accomplish and everyone understands and is encouraging something I do not get with my other friends(I've lost 30 lbs. and they do not even acknowledge it). Anyone who can not be happy for you and encourage you is not much of a friend I have learned this the hard way luckily this site has filled the void I thought friends should and I am thankful it has given me a place to get what I need to do what is right for me and my body and as I lose there are others out there who are encouraging and more positive to be around and while not exactly offering friendship they are opening the door so will see what happens.

As for a social life you can still have one just not the same one start by figuring out what you really like to do then go do it you might start out alone but before long you will meet people that share your interest.

Be proud of yourself you have made some tough decisions but you know what you need and you know the past does not offer it so you must look towards the future you will find what you are looking for. emoticon

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CICIDE 8/11/2010 8:49AM

  It's good to accept yourself and do everything in moderation, would be a shame to lose close friends and maybe not really necessary, just stand up for yourself and be strong, gradually make changes for the better is the easiest and healthiest way. Talk to your family and friends gradually and try not to make drastic changes all at once.
We are all here to support each to which is nice. emoticon

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SARAHTAIT 8/11/2010 7:50AM

    You have to be true to yourself and if negative people are bringing you down then by all means you have the right to avoid them. Stay strong and do what you know is best for you!!
Hugs,
Sarah

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/11/2010 7:43AM

    I think a lot has to do with culture. A few pounds here or there can alter anyone's social life, but while it may be considered rude to discuss weight with someone, I know in other cultures people just call them out on it in public. That was one of the most difficult things about being with my ex... he and his friends would discuss weight ALL of the time. We owned a scale, and when his friends would come over, they would all get on the scale and weigh themselves. And discuss. And I thought *I* had problems!

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1888MICHELLE 8/11/2010 7:29AM

    You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You can't live your life according to other people. You are the one in charge. You are the one who has to live with you 24/7. Be happy for you and with you.

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CICIDE 8/11/2010 6:49AM

  A lot of us start out with negative body image as a teenager. I went the other way and gained and was depressed, wished I'd have kept on to some of my old friends, instead I moved away and met my husband at 18, now 31. We are all just trying to help each other with this, its is a global problem with western women.
We are all for changes for the better but in moderation, try not to get yourself down about it, stand up for what you believe in!
You are intelligent and beautiful, you can do it.

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FITKAT2010 8/11/2010 5:57AM

    Love yourself.

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SCREWIE 8/11/2010 5:28AM

    It is going to be hard, and even more so if *you* make it hard on yourself.

It seems to me that until not long ago you were fairly happy with how things were going. Try to recapture that feeling. You are not going to be perfect all the time. When you stumble it's not a crime.
You are good as you are, doing what is good for you in a way that works for you, as long as it makes you happy. If your social life revolves around people who point their finger at you if you put on a couple of kg, you can point your finger back and tell them: yeas, but I enjoyed that dinner, rather than feel like a miserable cow and forcing myself to starve.

By the way, not having a social life isn't the end of the world. It gives you plenty of time to read that book you always wanted to read but never got round to, or to fit in more exercise, or listen to a great piece of music properly for the first time, or go for a walk in the woods and concentrate on the beauty of nature, unspoiled by somebody's chattering in your ear. It also gives you time to walk to/from work/college/wherever with your nose up in the air instead of taking the car/bus/whatever, and discover parts of your city you'd never noticed before.

It has its bonuses :)

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