MARCYNA   17,309
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Toxic People & how to recognize them

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Just as I started to recognize bad food, I've started to recognize toxic people.
They haunt my life and leave me no strength & energy.
But, who are they?
Colleagues, friends, ex-boyfriends and some are even in my family.
They have something in common: they always complain, they're always the victims of... and they're never happy until they make me feel as negative as they do.
I'd like to give you a checklist, anyway these people are:
narcissistic types
selfish
self-indulging (drugs, alcohol, & so on)
and never let you go, if you just give them space & time.
Now it's hard to let go, but I'm learning the hard way I cannot let them spoil my life.
How's it been for you? Have you succeeded in recognizing these people????
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABURTON1212 2/17/2011 7:57PM

    Its seems Toxic People are as follows;

They discourage you from getting your rest
They encourage bad eating habits
They encourage you to spend money with out thinking
They are controlling and very manipulating
But if you were to confide with them that you were having trouble in any of these areas, they would be quick to judge.
They are very judgemental.


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JOURNEYOFHOPE 3/19/2010 12:00PM

    All so true! Good for you! You just pointed out to me that this is actually happening to me too. Since I made a decision to change and have a healthy lifestyle I'm noticing and recognizing EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that is unhealthy for my life! Hopefully people will change but I am determined not to let any toxic people have room in my life no matter what. I also notice that the healthier my thinking and habits are getting the happier and more positive I am. Goodbye toxic food, good bye toxic people, good bye toxic life! Hello healthy food, hello healthy positive people, hello healthy happy life:)

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MIZZEZ_WRIGHT 3/18/2010 10:06PM

    Negative people suck the life out of you....if you let them. There is a saying that misery loves company and it's true. Toxic people will rain on your parade every chance they get. I have gotten to the point where after having a conversation or 2 with someone I can kind of tell if they are toxic or just having a bad day. If they are toxic, I keep my distance and pray for them. I cannot and will not let anyone inject their poison into my life.

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WANNABELESS1 3/18/2010 7:27PM

    Great blog! The first step to ridding your self of them is to recognize them - you are well on your way! emoticon

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ELLEROME 3/18/2010 11:31AM

    They are the ones that always complain and that have no responsability for anything bad in their life. As they feel that they are victims of life and that are so illused by fate, they think that they deserve everything by others and they are really selfish and nasty and pessimistic.

I think of people like this when I run and I imagine to go fast like the wind while they are detained still on the ground by their heavy feet. I always think: "catch me if you can" and run faster!
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BRAVAH 3/18/2010 7:53AM

    Interesting observation. I had a friend years ago who was super toxic. She was draining me. I didn't know how to protect myself. Luckily (or sadly), she was so messed up that she eventually dissolved the friendship over a misperception. I was sad that it ended that way, but once I realized how much better I felt, I was glad to have that energy gone from my life. I agree that we need to surround ourselves with positive people and influences.

Cheers,
Heidi

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VMOMMA 3/18/2010 12:10AM

    You know, through the changes I've made lately in my life I've noticed the same thing about people. The worst toxic types in my opinion are the ones that shoot you down when you do try to be optimistic with them. I distance myself from them when I see them coming.

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RANJINI4 3/17/2010 7:08PM

    TRUE,I TOO HAVE TOXIC PEOPLE AND AM TRYING TO REMOVE THEM FROM MY LIFE-WHAT CAN I DO IF I AM MARRIED TO ONE,THOUGH?yOU KNOW,I HAVE BEEN HURT AND HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT MY HEART SOMETIMES ACHES-I CANNOT CRY;I CAN ONLY GIVE LOVE.MAYBE ONE DAY THEY WILL LEARN TO LOVE BACK.I WILL TRY TO AVOID THEM AS FAR AS POSSIBLE. emoticon

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KLEONIKI 3/17/2010 6:50PM

    Good decision to get rid of these negative "vampires" who leave you drained and dry.
I, too, am struggling to cast them away from my life because sometimes they are dressed in such an attractive apparel!!!
Sometimes their poison is so contagious and addictive!!
It takes a lot of power and friendly support to break free from their dangerous influence...
Thank you for being such a friendly support for me.
K.

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LINDA! 3/17/2010 6:26PM

    Good blog! I have no time for toxic people either. I rid myself of them (including relatives).

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DOLLIE6 3/17/2010 6:26PM

    Thank you for sharing. We needed to hear you. Keep on blogging.

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JOHNTJ1 3/17/2010 5:53PM

    Rock and Roll Little Sis'

I am glad your burden is getting lighter and your smile getting wider and all of you getting happier.

It's good you have a plan to make things even better

john





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DJTRJMCCARTY 3/17/2010 3:45PM

    Once I recognize them they are gone. I have reached a point in my life where I know that isn't what I need. I can say family members are the hardest especially those with an addiction, but once you realize they have to help themselves first it becomes easier.

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TRIPLE_EMME 3/17/2010 3:13PM

    I'm glad to hear that you are learning how to recognize toxic people and let them go.

I think it's easier to recognize the toxic people than it is to let them go, especially family members. Perhaps it may be a good first step for you to minimize the time that you spend around the toxic people.

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LEOLO_1 3/17/2010 1:51PM

    I am really loving your last couple of blog posts... they ring so true to me....

I have toxic people that I can't avoid because they are family and I want them to be in my kid's lives, but I have to tell myself they are from/living on another planet.
Really, this is what I tell myself. They are from a different planet than I am.
So I love them but do not EVEN speak/understand their alien language alot of the time (nor do they understand me) and must not talk on the phone with them, only see them in person. (the phone gives them the license to say very hurtful things about everyone they know and since they are from a different planet they do not acknowledge this.) In person with the kids listening, they are pretty well behaved.
If you can work something like this out where people are too busy or distracted to fall into complaining routines, it is great.... hard tho.

To the complainers, I realized they like to complain and they don't like advice, they just want to wallow. One way to deal with this for me is to say "oh dear, what you going to do?" when they complain. This works for some reason! (I guess because the message is: you had better DO SOMETHING to solve your problems!)

;-)
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GRAPEVINE60 3/17/2010 12:48PM

    I think the easy part is recognizing them. It's a whole different story doing something about them......

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JILLWILSON2102 3/17/2010 11:15AM

    It is a tough thing, most especially family members. Avoiding them is not always easy, either, but it is essentially the only way to make a bad situation better. Taking negative people out of your life is absolutely necessary to improving the quality and outlook of your own progress. Its too bad these folks don't grow devil horns so we can easily recognize them emoticon emoticon..but then that would make it easy, right? emoticon

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MZLADY77 3/17/2010 10:49AM

    I like your blog! True I had to kick toxic people out of my life and they will keep you down! I have to fast forward toward to healthy diet and lifestyle. emoticon

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GLAMIT 3/17/2010 10:15AM

    Yep, have to let go of those type of people as they only bring you down or keep you in their drama. It's much harder with family but I have found just staying away as much as possible is the best solution.

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LOLADAHLING 3/17/2010 10:13AM

    Sometimes its hard to "de-tox" from these people, especially family. Only you can decide if its the right move, but at the end of the day YOU are your main priority in your life, YOU are the one that matters. You are worth so much more and deserve so much more - but as I've realised in life - we get what we put in, lots of positivity breeds more positivity - and if others don't like it - tough!!!! Spreading some sparkles! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARMSPORTS 3/17/2010 9:49AM

    Yes! I refer to these people as having "negative energy" because they seem to literally suck the energy out of me when I am around them! And I agree they are usually unhappy and try to bring everyone else down to their level. But I still give them my time and attention because this is what God wants us to do. My hope is that if I lead by example, i.e. I am positive and happy to share my time with them, that they will start to realize that their lives aren't that bad after all.

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THENEWCINDY 3/17/2010 9:46AM

    I know the toxic ppl and those I have gotten out of my life!!!

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KELLY3305 3/17/2010 9:32AM

    emoticon

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Even Better...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I've just seen the new extraordinary name for the latest novelty from my favourite cosmetics make, Clinique.
It's called 'EVEN BETTER. '
It's so promising. It suggests it'll add so many improvements to your skin and I just can't wait to try it.
Anyway this is not a promotion and it has to do with the role model we're all meant to be.
I remember as a teenager I looked at adult women and men with discouragement & despair.
Who would I choose as a model?
I really liked the women in ads, I remember secretly choosing the model for a beer as 'true' mother since I was three.
Beauty was a must in my favourite adult role model.
But I also wanted intelligence, competence and sympathy to be there....did I ask way too much???
My real mother has always been beautiful, but she never had the time for an hairdo, for make up, for herself.
Now I want to be 'EVEN BETTER' than the old generation for the teenagers I meet every day.
I want to convey competence, experience, sympathy AND beauty.
I want to be beautiful on the outside & from the inside.
Is this too much??'
Now, what's your role model?
How can you set yourself to be a role model for younger generations????

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONCEMOREAGAIN 3/16/2010 11:28AM

    I really enjoyed this blog.
I agree, we must show our beauty from the inside out! When we have a right heart, our beauty shines through. I'm sure you show that beauty.
My mother was the most beautiful woman I know..she came to the United States (from Ireland) only knowing my Dad (they met and married in Ireland during WWII). After being married 18 years, my Dad passed away and she battled cancer for about 5-6 years, then she got BETTER! She raised my brother and me and still remained very stylish and beautiful until she passed at age 76.
So, take care of yourself and leave that legacy of being the 'most beautiful woman/Mom/Teacher/model, etc.

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GRAPEVINE60 3/16/2010 11:11AM

    You nailed it on the head. Too many people just look at outer beauty. We need to see both the outside and the inside. Thanks for sharing.

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LSCHULER72 3/16/2010 10:57AM

    AMEN!!!! I completely agree and have always driven myself to be beautiful-inside and out, to be secure in myself and convey this security to all the students I see every day. I believe I am a good role model for the upcoming generations, and my inspiration is MY mother-who is very beautiful and always taught me to take the time for myself, because no one will ever do it for you.

Have a great rest of your week :)

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I'm a winner....

Monday, March 15, 2010

Well even if my right leg's been hurting for three days after gym, I have to tell you I'm really feeling different this time.
I used to look at myself in the mirror and say ' you're ugly' 'you're fat' 'look at those fat rolls' and hated myself all the more.
Now I'm starting to say 'You're a winner' and 'that's amazing'....I guess changing the way you look at yourself is first step into a new you.
The one you'll spend your whole life with.
Anyway I don't want to be philosophical, I want to be practical.
I'll give you facts.
My best friend, the one I spend most of my free time with , has joined a gym.
This is a big victory, I've never preached to her but I think my change in attitude has been for her an example.
Second fact - I've been talking with my brother in law about weight loss & co.
He's been overweight for a while, but, after a serious illness, has completely changed his attitude to food and committed to a healthier lifestyle.
He swims every day for hours and he's feeling 'as good as a baby' - in his words.
So I have an ally also in the family.
A different attitude 'transpires'
Isn't it great??? emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEOLO_1 3/15/2010 8:55PM

    yay! emoticon emoticon

I love this part:
"...changing the way you look at yourself is first step into a new you.
The one you'll spend your whole life with.
Anyway I don't want to be philosophical, I want to be practical. "

Comment edited on: 3/17/2010 1:36:46 PM

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/15/2010 6:33PM

    I love that you are inspiring people around you. You are an amazing light. Shine baby shine :)

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WALKINGANNIE 3/15/2010 5:46PM

    It's so good that you're seeing results for yourself AND influencing others around you. Congratulations!


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BRAVAH 3/15/2010 5:19PM

    You ARE a winner! And Amazing!

Keep up the great work.

Cheers,
Heidi

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JILLWILSON2102 3/15/2010 1:17PM

    Marcyna - it is great! emoticon Leading by example gives a very quiet, strong, statement to your commitment to yourself. Others see the change in you and want to experience that for themselves. You are open to their inquiries and offer support, and they are empowered by you to shift their thinking to a different place. You go girl!! emoticon emoticon

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GINGER_LOSTALOT 3/15/2010 1:02PM

    Great news. Keep up the good work!

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JOHNTJ1 3/15/2010 10:56AM

    You were a winner the moment you were created, you're just getting around to realizing it. We could have a cake and ice cream to celebrate the new awareness you found but since we are all healthier people now (Thanks to each other!!!) we can settle for a few apples and a pitcher of ice water.

I am very happy for you. You are starting to see what the rest of us have seen all along...... the wonderful you!!!!


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John

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GRAPEVINE60 3/15/2010 9:40AM

    Attitude is everything. Way to pass the "Spark" on to other people.

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SOKKERNUT 3/15/2010 9:34AM

    Yes indeed it is great! Keep it up! emoticon

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GLAMIT 3/15/2010 9:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MDTWEETY 3/15/2010 9:07AM

    That's wonderful! You are doing great! Keep up the good work. Attitude makes all the difference in the world!

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WALKNLOVE 3/15/2010 8:13AM

    Someone once said to write 3 affirmations about yourself on your bathroom mirror and say them about yourself 1st thing every morning....Things like I am beautiful inside & out, or I am getting skinnier everyday, or I have the mind of Christ, or whatever motivates you.Try it, it works! Soon, you will see that person in the mirror! And isn't it true that we believe what we tell ourselves more than we believe anything any one else says about us? There is power in being a positive thinker! You go girl!

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NIKKIG3 3/15/2010 8:04AM

    It really helps when the people around you are going in the same direction. emoticon It is great!

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FITABULOUSMELLY 3/15/2010 7:45AM

    That is an amazing attitude. Keep up the great work and attitude. You can and will do this with that outlook! emoticon emoticon

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SKINNYPOWELL1 3/15/2010 7:44AM

    Good attitude. You never know you is looking at you as an example, and it sounds like you are a great one. Keep up the good work. Lead by example. emoticon

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BRENDY_28 3/15/2010 7:43AM

    i love your winner attitude. stay positive and to motivate other people by letting them see the goo changes happening to you! keep it up!

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CMORISAK 3/15/2010 7:02AM

    Keep up the good work......it amazing how a positive attitude can make a difference for everyone around you.

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DOROTHYBERO 3/15/2010 6:10AM

    I DO AGREE - a positive attitude makes a huge difference. Keep up the great work - you are rocking as a sparker!! emoticon

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GROEDER 3/15/2010 6:05AM

    Isn't it great to be a positive example for people? Your change in attitude will help others as well as yourself. I have found that seeing my effect on someone else also keeps my motivation high.
Good luck, and keep it going.

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You're worth it!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I'm reading so many of your blog posts and I get so much motivation, insight & inspiration.
All I can say is that you are all wonderful.
And it's all about change.
I used to think I would not change so much anymore in my life, but it wasn't true.
Two turns in the road, and I had to change almost everything about myself.
But I want to change for the better- I'm worth it.
I want to transform the way I look at myself - from hopeless to hopeful.
From loser to winner.
From low-potential to high -potential.
I know it's everyday battle and I know I can lose at times.
But I can tell you, I'm starting to tell myself 'You're worth it ' and I'm telling YOU as well!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAPEVINE60 3/15/2010 12:21AM

    Yes we are all worth it, but it's always good to hear. Thanks for sharing.

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LHLADY517 3/15/2010 12:16AM

    You got that right.

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HICALGAL 3/14/2010 9:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KLEONIKI 3/14/2010 5:41PM

    emoticon
emoticon
emoticon

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ROX525 3/14/2010 5:22PM

    You are a sweetie. You are worth it and today is a brand new day.

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PRICKLY101 3/14/2010 2:09PM

    Thanks for this!

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JANNIEWANNIE 3/14/2010 11:37AM

    Thank you for this affirming blog. So often we don't think we are worth putting any effort into our dreams and aspirations, but that is such a lie. I am glad you are moving ahead on the journey of life with the truth about yourself. Yes, we are worth it and thank you for the reminder. Hugs from Janet in central Illinois.

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GLAMIT 3/14/2010 11:19AM

    emoticon

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LSCHULER72 3/14/2010 11:09AM

    Yes, I AM worth it, thank you! And so are you! Thanks for the inspiring words today!


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PALEAN 3/14/2010 8:23AM

    So incredibly well written and inspiring. We are all worth it. EVERYONE has something to bring to this life. We have to believe that deep within...we are worth it! Thanks for the inspiration and great attitude. Great words to read when you start those thoughts of doubt! You are a light just through your words!

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GROEDER 3/14/2010 7:10AM

    You ARE worth it!!! We all are. Keep that positive attitude and make those changes one at a time, and soon you will be who you want to be.
Best of luck, and keep it going.

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Remember all the good things ....

Saturday, March 13, 2010

"Remember all the good thing I've done for you"

These are the words which have resonated in my head these days.

So I'm trying to put a few facts together.

I'm sure you can all remember :

When you received consolation after a long period of pain & anguish....

When you lost your job and soon found a new one....

When you broke up with a boy/girlfriend and then found the right person for you...

When life seemed void & empty and suddenly something new happened...

When you felt sad & lonely and then met a friend...

How was it for you?
How did you feel????
How this affects your life TODAY???????
Let's remember all the wonderful things He's done for us!!!

Praise to the Lord!!!!!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAPEVINE60 3/13/2010 2:02PM

    Thanks for the reminder. I am thankful for the sunshine today. Thanks so much for sharing.

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SEXYCOCOA121 3/13/2010 11:27AM

    Awesome, I remember Lord and I'm so very thankful for all you have done for me and my family!

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ITSABOUTME2407 3/13/2010 11:25AM

    I confess it is easy for me to forget all my blessings ashamed to say that but its so true thanks 4 the reminder emoticonwishing u a great week end..trisha

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/13/2010 8:26AM

    Aww.. I LOVE this. It is best to be grateful for our amazing blessings.

((hugs))

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ANMAIREE 3/13/2010 4:20AM

    WOW!!! That was the words we sang to a song at choir rehearsal last night.

How could I forget what you've done for me?
How could I forget how you set me free?
How could I forget how you brought me out?

It's AMAZING how everything ties in together. Yes I can remember all those moments and I'm still experiencing those moments as we speak. I give Him thanks for how he brought me out and for all that he has already done.

I emoticon for posting such an emoticon blog

You're emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/13/2010 4:22:25 AM

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