Monday, October 06, 2014
DD returned home after two years overseas in the Peace Corps. She arrived home at the very first of September and spent a couple of days here then left for a "tour" of the southeast/midwest, visiting friends and family. After a month of travel she is back home. She is also job hunting and while on her travels spent time in DC networking, attending a job fair, etc as she has noncompetive status for a year for federal jobs. So we hope that she gets a job!!! In the meantime she is with us, in a small town that we moved to in April, where she has no friends. And for a 26 year old that can be boring! And she has no income for now (Peace Corps pays a stipend when they finish but she is being very careful about spending) so the good news is by being with us she is not going out with her friends and spending a lot of money. The bad news is she is stuck here with us. And from experience....two adult females in the same house day after day can become a problem. So my routine has gone awry and I am working on adjusting and giving her space and she is doing the same. We have both learned over the years to respect each other's privacy and that we both need time away from each other!
My problem, a big one, is that my mother and I have a difficult relationship, due to my mother's mental health issues which she refuses to seek help and address. After years of dealing with her, luckily from a distance of 700 miles, I've come to terms with the fact that I will never have a relationship with my mother that many daughters have with theirs. My sister and I have discussed it many times and are each other's support, our brother hasn't come to terms with it. Such is life. Regardless...whenever my daughter and I get into a spat I see parts of my mother in me!! And I know it's not true. I give my daughter her privacy! I respect her choices and her decisions! I encourage her! I don't criticize her! I don't try to manipulate her! In essence I am the total opposite of my mother! But it still is always there: the fear that I will become my mother. Yet I don't have the mental illness my mom has.
So....I am working this month on adjusting my schedule to adapt to having my daughter, a grown young woman, in the house. Since I don't work and am here a lot that makes it more difficult. But we can do this. I watch what I say at times. It's not worth saying something I might regret later (shades of my mom!), something that really isn't necessary that may appear to be nagging. Or the timing of when to say something..with her it's better to talk about things later in the day as she is so NOT a morning person!
So we can do this! And she is a great daughter and we are so proud of her accomplishments and that we can support her during this transition time in her life! I just wish DH wasn't out of town this week and then again next week, as he provides a nice balance the two of us needs, as she and I are, in some ways, a bit too much alike!!
So life stresses: waiting to sell our house in BR. Waiting for DD to get a job. The ongoing stress of my mother.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sept. 1st I weighed 171.5
Sept. 30 I weigh 166.5
Total loss: 5 pounds (10 pounds lost since Aug 1st)
What have I done differently? Low carb.
Low carb is basically more protein, veggies, a fat. No simple carbs. Right now my carb intake is below 30. And I'm not hungry. I cook. I keep a couple of Atkins meals (breakfast ones) on hand for emergencies) and I do use his shakes for one meal a day, since I'm not usually hungry. So if I do a shake for breakfast I'm ready for a lunch I will cook and then finish the day with a good salad with protein (last night it was a sausage). Today I cooked scrambled eggs (with spinach, onions, peppers, & feta) and bacon. Lunch will be the Atkins shake before I head off to book club. Dinner will be...hmmmm, maybe a salad with a boiled egg. Or I may cook that broccoli and have that with the sausage. Haven't decided yet. I also have a big cauliflower in the fridge and a recipe waiting to try it out with.
Exercise: Going well. Still doing aqua exercise. I may cut back this winter as I don't relish getting out in cold weather... Right now my arthritis is good and I have a lot of work out options at home, too. Yoga, dvds, walking outside when the weather is nice. All can be done on my schedule.
So the last month (and Aug.) have been very successful. I am fitting into the next lower size of pants and shirts again. I did this last summer before the move and all that stressed derailed my lowcarb eating and the pounds came back.
So I'm liking wearing the size L clothes as opposed to the XL clothes! I'm liking not being hungry between meals. I'm liking not having that energy drop between meals that I always used to get when I ate simple carbs. You know, the mid-morning and mid-afternoon slump where you grab for some kind of snack to get the blood sugar up! It feels so much better to get through the day and realize that, oh yea, it's time to have dinner, instead of...I'm dying here...get me some food!!!
I'm liking feeling stronger. My core strength is building up. After my rough spell in the spring with the bad arthritis flare and my back going out, I'm back on track and stronger than before. PT helped a lot, too. Now to just keep it all in place and keep moving forward. Knowing my limits and pushing forward at the same time, a crucial key to working out with arthritis so I don't end up paying for it the next few days!!
Looking forward to October.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
I have never been a very flexible person!! I started yoga years ago, taking classes first, then dropping out after awhile due to time constraints. Years would go by then I would try again. I found some great podcasts a few years back for yogadownload and enjoyed renewing my yoga sessions with those and took a few more classes, which I loved, but again, driving across town (big city) to take an hour class meant over a 2 hour time commitment for a class which was not doable on a regular basis unfortunately. And my flexibility was getting worse as the years went on.
So I after our move in April I was trying yoga again at home and getting frustrated with how hard it was to get in some basic positions, due to the tightness in my hips. Fast forward to last month. I started physical therapy for my piriformis muscle, particularly the left hip, which has bothered me for over 10 years. Lots of exercises, etc to work on this and my hamstrings, and the tightness in my hips. Some of these were similar to things we had been doing in aqua exercise, we just spent more time in PT doing them, more focus.
So last week I finished PT. Now my goal is to keep up the work we started. My aqua instructor started an aqua yoga class this semester one day a week to provide contrast to the faster paced exercise class. But I want to keep working more at home. So I was looking through my yoga videos and checked out yogadownload.com, which I had joined in the past. They had added more since my membership expired last Dec. They have some that focus on back issues, hip issues, yoga for people over age 50, as well as many other kinds. So I joined again. I get unlimited streaming of videos and 4 free downloads with my membership option.
So I chose today to do the Yoga for Beginners video which is an hour long. I'm not a beginner but thought it would be a good refresher and it was. And it worked me hard, too. What I found: I'm much stronger now than before I started PT and I've gained some flexibility. I was able to do some poses and flows that I couldn't do at the beginning of August. I can see good progress! I can sit cross legged much more easily, although it is still a not nearly where I should be. Before I sat cross legged with my knees up high. Now I can sit cross legged with my knees lower, not to the ground yet, but not up high. It's progress...a work in progress. And I can't wait until I can actually sit cross legged with ease when I do yoga. That's my goal! I'm getting there.
Yoga will help me work on those muscles in my hip and legs that need to be stretched and contracted and be a good workout I can do easily at home. Yogadownload.com has great videos and by streaming them I can find the ones I like and can add them to my collection to keep permanently.
It feels good to see and experience progress!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Our aqua instructor started doing aqua yoga this semester on Wednesdays and I like it. It's a nice change from the aqua exercise classes on the other days! She does it in the morning and evening and I find I like the evening class best as it's a great way to end the day!
I went yesterday and there was a young woman there getting in the pool when I was, we were pretty much the only ones at that time. She asked me how hard the class was and I said not hard. Well, it really isn't, in my opinion. Especially compared to the aqua exercise. This one is slow and involves stretches and holding postures. No fast movements, no core work. And like any of the instructor's classes you do things to the best of your ability. I'm not very observant, visually, and only noticed later that she kept her t-shirt on in the pool. So we started class and she was in the row behind me. We are doing poses at one point with our arms in the air and twisting slowly from one side to the other and I see she doesn't have her arms up high. That's no big deal. We have people in class with a variety of conditions and many can't physically do everything which is the beauty of these classes. But the after a few more twists I noticed she had made her way over to the far side of the line, and looked unhappy. I wondered if part of the reason she was having trouble was due, not only to her physical problems (she had told me her physical condition) but also due to that t-shirt weighing her arms down. It has to be difficult to raise your arms up if your already have problems with muscles and then have the water pulling on the shirt. Next time I looked over, when we turned back in that direction, she was leaving the pool and gone.
I really felt sad for her. To give up like that is so sad. We have people, and I've been one, who have had to wait out an exercise and move on to another, or to greatly change it as we can't manage it. I have arthritis, we have people with lupus, and all other kinds of conditions doing these exercises and that's who these classes are for. So I feel sad for this young woman. I spoke to the instructor, who knew her, and this may be a pattern with her, I'm not sure. The instructor only said she had come to other classes before. And our instructor is always one to encourage people.
I wish I could have said to her, take you t shirt off, don't worry about your weight (she was heavy but not the only one!). And if you can't keep your arms up for this exercise, then put them down and just do the twisting part to the best of your ability. You have to adapt the exercise to fit what you can do at this point in time. Try raising your arms for the first one and then put them down when it gets to be too much. Take a break and rest until the next exercise or posture, just like in a yoga class. But I think she was much too self conscious to allow herself to do these things and that makes me sad as I was a lot like that when I was young!
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