Friday, May 31, 2013
I am in the midst of my 2nd triple digit weight loss in my 33 years of life. I have a very slow metabolism but I can be very effective at losing weight. From 2005-2007 I lost 187 lbs and 75 inches. I followed a very strict program and although I had desirable results, I didn't fix the issues I had completely. Although I worked on my issues for 3 years in counseling, I wasn't healed from many things.
I currently 110.8 lbs lighter than I was 3 years ago and I am struggling mightily losing the last 42.8 lbs. One thing that is really irritating is my husband's impatience with me to finish this weight loss. He wants to have a family so bad and refuses to do so until I finish dropping the lbs. Nobody would love for me to drop this weight more than myself, but I will not break myself in order to do it again!
It is common sense that binge eating is not going to lead you to your goals. It is common sense that dealing with your problems using food is not a healthy skill to cope. It is common sense that rebelling against someone but eating more than you should will not serve you well. Despite all sense, I have fallen into these old common mistakes.
I pull myself back after a couple days and then fall back into having those bad days again. I will come out strong and finish this weight loss! I am battling mightily to get a hold on myself but I am under immense pressure.
I fell back 153 lbs from 2007-2009 when people unhappy with my 187 lb loss and refusal to eat as they were. I am faltering as these people start the same thing with me on short visits. Luckily for me I live in another country now and I can try to get a hold on myself.
It hit me the other day that my common sense was out the window after a day of binging. I am not going to reach my goals by letting other people sideline my dreams. What I want and what others want for me are 2 different things. I will carry out my life in a healthy fashion despite other's opinions! I will also do things at my own pace. My husband things he can send me to some boot camp to get the last 42.8 lbs off. He thinks by some magical date I better have stepped up the process of eating close to starvation to achieve. I have done this current journey much slower and sustainable. I am doing this on my own terms and I will not be forced to complete my journey in some crazy fashion. I will do what is necessary but on my own terms!