MANDI99P   7,246
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Checking in

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I'm really sorry that I haven't been around. I really wish that I had more time, but things are really crazy right now. So lets see, whats been new with me?

Well first off, classes are going good so far, but they are really needing alot of my attention. I am taking a Humanities of the Early World class, and he gives us so much work. I'm talking like a two page paper and a list of essay questions for ever class. I also have Statistics that I feel I have to study constantly. So far I have a solid A in that class, and really want to keep it. My other two classes aren't as bad, but do take alot of study time.

As for work, I have quit Burger King. I only worked 5 hours a week so it just seemed pointless to stay there. I was sick of all the childish people and backstabbing anyway. I picked up more hours tutoring at school so that covers the money lost from BK. I am even going to start tutoring a guy one on one every week and he is going to pay me 10 bucks an hour. So most days of the week, I get to school at 8 in the morning and get home around 7 or 8 at night. Doesn't really leave me time to work out, but sometimes during the day if I have an extra few minutes I will take a quick walk through the halls.

Just this week I was asked to become the Secretary for my schools chapter of Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. So now I hold an office and that will look great on my scholarship applications. I also get the chance to attend the International Leadership Convention for PTK in April. It is for 4 days in Nashville. I can't wait to go. It will push me out of my comfort zone and force me to interact with people that I don't know.

So as you can see, I have alot on my plate right now. I'm really just trying to get through it without loosing my mind! I know it will be worth it in the end.

Mandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 2/12/2012 9:26PM

    You are inspirational, my dear. Be very proud of your accomplishments, for you've earned them all, and then some. My hope is that sometime soon you can have a little time to relax and breathe, just to have the time to reflect on how far you've come. I adore you and I'm awed by all you do. I'm glad to see you checking in and sharing how you're doing and what you're up to.
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I Got In!!!!

Friday, January 06, 2012

Today I got an acceptance letter to Truman State University! It was my first pick of schools, and I just can't believe that I got in! I still have a year left at the school that I am in right now, but it just feels so good to know that I have gotten into the one school that I wanted.

I'm just a little emotional about it right now. I never would have thought that I could do this. In high school I didn't care, and barely graduated. I was near the bottom of my class, and all I cared about was drinking and going to parties. Now thirteen years later, I'm almost a straight A student, in the phi theta kappa honor society and a peer tutor.

The thing that I am most proud of is that I have done all of this on my own. I figured out what I wanted and went for it. I did all of the work to get where I am. I have never in my life done something for myself. I'm just really happy right now.

Mandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VERTICALABRET 1/6/2012 9:36PM

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You are doing amazing!
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NEWKAREN43 1/6/2012 9:28PM

    Honestly, I got emotional reading this. Good for you! Pursue your goals full speed ahead! Your dream, your goals, your ambition, your work, your efforts and YOUR SUCCESS!!!!!!

I came here because some mutual friends, but I'm going to friend you, not for the lookers on your background, but because I want to see you succeed in your educational goals...and SP goals but I'm a life long learner and I want to see you succeed on your education goals. Blessings new friend, Mandi! Karen

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1STATEOFDENIAL 1/6/2012 9:14PM

    You are an incredible woman - sometimes it just takes a little kick in the pants to get us to realize what we need to do. I'd say your pants were kicked pretty good and now you're rocking it! Be proud of yourself and know YOU DID THIS!

Now that you've found you can do something you never thought you could, imagine all the possibilities you have in front of you that you CAN achieve!
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TRAVELGRRL 1/6/2012 9:12PM

    Congratulations!! The sky is the limit! Your future's so bright, you gotta wear shades!

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WATERMELLEN 1/6/2012 8:23PM

    Excellent! Big congratulations!! You've got some solid accomplishments and now another opportunity opening out in front of you: has to feel so good.

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SLENDERELLA61 1/6/2012 8:21PM

    Congratulations! You have truly changed your attitude and your life. Way to go!! That is fantastic. Seems to me you'll be able to accomplish anything you put your mind to do. -Marsha

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ASHERAH123 1/6/2012 8:11PM

    Wow. Good for you. I wish you the best.

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Letting go of the past.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I never realized how much energy it takes to hate a person. My ex boyfriend left me a little over three years ago. I was blindsided when he left. I went to bed the night before after giving him a kiss and saying I love you. he kissed me and said he loved me too. I woke up the next morning and he was gone. All that was left was a note on the computer that he didn't love me and that he met someone else. Along with him he took some of his clothes, and my entire paycheck that I had just cashed the night before. He took most of my DVD's and my digital camera (to pawn). We had been in the middle of planning our wedding at the time. I was devastated. We had been together for 5 years. Even after all of that, I couldn't cry. I would sometimes tear up, but I never let myself really cry it out. Crying was one of the things that he hated, so I would never do it in front of him. After 5 years it was ingrained in me not to cry.

For the first few weeks I followed my mom around all of the time. I just couldn't be alone. I slept on the couch every night for a year and a half after he left, because I couldn't bring myself to sleep alone in our bed. Things turned around though. I got myself together and took a hard look at what I wanted in my life. I'm so much better now. I'm in school working towards the future that I want. I'm taking care of myself in ways that I never did while with him.

Tonight I was sitting on my couch watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Nick and I had gone and seen it in the theater. It all hit me in that moment, and came rushing back, the good and the bad. For the first time in 3 years, I broke down and cried. As I sat sobbing on my couch I thought of all the things that I had lost. Nick was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything. We would laugh and joke and play for hours. I thought most of those nights me and him spent on that couch having an all night movie marathon. Its those times that i missed the most. I thought of the wedding that was half planed but I never got to have. I thought of the things that he had taken from me, like my trust in other people, or my belief in true love. I now have a hatred for weddings and marriage that I never had before. He gave me so many happy memories, yet took so much. I cried for all of it.

After sobbing for about half an hour, I realised that I was smiling while still crying. I was finally letting go of the past. I know now that it is the only way to truly move on. I looked him up on facebook tonight. I wrote him a private message telling him that I forgive him. I told him that I needed closure and that I couldn't move on with my life and still hate him. I also told him thank you. Him leaving was the best thing that he could have done for me.

I don't know if he will ever read the letter, but that's not really the point. Its the fact that i got it out and wrote it down and sent it. its his now to do with as he sees fit. Its off my chest and that is a weight that means more to me to loose than any pound.

Mandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 12/28/2011 7:54AM

    Emotions and habits are strange things - they are wholly ours but are so dramatically influended by others. This shows you just clipped the final bit of control he still had on them.

BTW, another thing we have in common - both of our hearts were broken by a guy named Nick. Though a little humor for you, "Old Nick" is a nickname for Luciver - hence why in SPN his first vessel is named Nick. hehe

I'm glad you shared this, including the triumph of you finally being able to mourn the loss of the relationship and the dream. Now you can look in the mirror, see the beautiful woman you are, and consider all the possibilities you have in front of you. You're lighter in both physical and emotional weight.
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EUPHRATES 12/28/2011 4:31AM

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Here's to the future!

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BARRISTER2011 12/28/2011 3:43AM

  Good for you! emoticon

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Another year older

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Today is my 31st birthday. Not really going to do much though, I have to tutor for a few hours and work on a take home final and write a final paper. Tonight is the biggest loser finale so that's what I will be doing later. I have outgrown the going out to the bar and getting drunk on my birthday thing that I used to do every year!

All in all it has ben a great year. My 30's are already starting out better than my 20's were. In the last year I have made some great new friends both at school and on spark. I flew on a plane for the first time, went to Florida and saw the ocean for the first time, and lost about 65 pounds. Its a pretty good feeling that I found the outfit I wore out for my bday last year and it is now too big for me to wear.

I remember dreading getting older. I refused to admit that I was turning 30 last year. This year isn't bad. I feel better than I have in years. Also it doesn't hurt that it runs in my family that we all look young. When people guess my age its usually no more than 23 or 24. They never believe that I'm in my 30's!

Right now I just can't wait to see what the next year brings. I know that by this time next year I will be in the best shape of my life and getting ready to start a new chapter.

Thanks to everyone's support and friendship! won't be forgotten!

Mandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 12/13/2011 12:12PM

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I want to jump up and down screaming happy birthday... just one problem - I'm at work and would like a fool doing it when you can't see me. haha

Still, I hope you have a good day (even with all the 'boring' things going on). Going out and drinking on your birthday is so over-rated. The last thing you want is alcohol poisoning or to get in a car accident on a day that's meant to celebrate you. There are plenty of other things you can do instead (like watch a SPN or TVD marathon!).

I'm glad to have been around for at least part of the last year, supporting you and getting to see all you're accomplishing. You're doing great and I'm so proud to call you my friend!
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LISADAWN1312 12/13/2011 9:23AM

    Happy Birthday! It is my Birthday today a well...Enjoy your day Birthday Buddy! emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 12/13/2011 9:08AM

    Congrats on the 65 lbs. loss. Keep up the good work.

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Every day is a new day

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

I have figured out one of my biggest problems. When I slip and make a bad food choice, or skip a day at the gym, I think of the day as a total loss, and fall off my plan even worse. Sometimes one day turns into two, and next thing I know its been a week since I've stepped foot in the gym, and I'm hitting the drive thru for every meal. Trying to re-program your brain is hard. I'm just starting to see that its ok to slip. Its not all or nothing. So I slip up and have a candy bar (reese's peanut butter cups are my biggest weakness) that doesn't mean that its over. It just means that I have to get back on track and move on. its unrealistic to think that I will go my whole life without having junk food again. I'm starting to see now, tomorrow is a new day, clean slate, start again.

One other thing I'd like to say is for my friend Sheri. She is fighting for herself so hard right now, and I'm so proud of her for not giving up. Please everyone send out your prayers to this amazing person.

Mandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 12/6/2011 11:15PM

    I'll always say it: every day is a chance to do a little better. And no, one less than stellar choice doesn't ruin a week or a day. It is one choice out of thousands of little choices each day. Forgive yourself and move forward. A slip up doesn't define you or your day, it is a reflection of a single moment. I know this because you are a beautiful and incredible woman; no little choices are going to change that.

If there is one item that is your absolute favorite (I love peanut butter cups too) how about building in just one or two every couple of days? It helps some people control their cravings to have a little now and again (some can't stop after just a taste though). If you work it into your nutritional plan to have just one or two, you will have the anticipation of what is coming, then you can savor them when you have them. Just a thought.

Also, thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm really putting everything I have into this week. You give me strength and it means so much to me!
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MARYHENNIG 12/6/2011 10:58PM

  First, hugs for your friend Sheri.

I slipped up with my eating today. Then, I felt bad and continued to eat. I think feeling bad makes you want to eat. So, I will now stay positive and not let slip ups make me feel bad.

I had already done 96 minutes on the treadmill with major incline and burned 600+ calories. Then, I blew up. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start.

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