Wednesday, February 16, 2011
On Sunday Feb 13, 2011, my husband of 37 years went home to the Lord. It was a sweet passage - he went to bed Saturday night, and he woke up in heaven! I discovered he went home when, after my shower and first cup of coffee, I went to ask if he was going to join me for chruch. He'd have good days and bad days. You COULD say this was a REALLY bad day - or a really GOOD day. I think it's GOOD. I am glad he has ceased to suffer from his many health problems, glad he didn't have to go to the hospital yet another time, glad he went so PEACEFULLY. And I know I'll see him again. God's grace is carrying me on the prayers of the family of Christ. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DQhciPbJwc
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Jeremiah 32:17 “Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." It's been a hard year, and time after time I have cried out to the Lord, "If You want my husband to live, You have to make provision." Back in June when DH had finished up his last bit of insulin and we had no money for refill, he had an appointment with the endocrinologist the same day and received samples for 2 weeks. Another doctor appt. later that month got him 3 more weeks of samples. The following month when I asked my pastors if I could give them a post-dated check for his next round of insulin, they gave us the money - and refused the check. Things like this continued. This week my husband told me he was all out - and the people who said they would get the month's supply were delayed. A diabetic friend gave up some of HIS insulin, but meanwhile DH's blood sugar was dangerously high. We learned the cost would be $230 more than we thought, more than our generous friends - and payday was still 2 days away. I washoping to offer another post-dated check - another friend made up the difference and refused reimbursement.
As I look back on these circumstances I see the Lord's hand and sense Him saying - "I GOT this; there is NOTHING to hard for Me." Even when I've been prepared not to pay regular bills so I can get his insulin - it's like He's saying,"No: as you said, it is I Who want him to live - I am making the way."
And He uses the precious Body of Christ! It is because of Him that we receive this outpouring of God's grace in a very practical way.
Every day is Thanksgiving.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
The last time I went to Peru in the summerof 2008, there were about a dozen people waiting for me at the airport. Many had arrived around midnight and made a little party of my arrival -which was not until 4:30 am, and then I was at least an hour and a half in customs. It was a very joyful reunion.
When I had to leave after 2 months, it was so painfully hard to say good-bye. We'd shared so many experiences. The parting was made even more painful when, some months later, I learned that it would be considerably longer than I had anticipated before I could return. I held a brief hope earlier this year that perhaps I coud return in June - but no. And then recently I anticipated returning NEXT summer. But already now there is some question. Of course, anything can happen. Funds can pour in at the last minute. Most of them ARE in for the round trip to Lima - I'm just shy about $335 if I bought the tickets TODAY. Of course the price goes up every day that passes. And I could feasibly use this week's pay to cover the gap...but for one little thing...DH needs insulin. About $400 or so for a month's supply. My pastor said he could give a check to me from the Peru mission fund (the money already raised) to use at my discretion but with his exhortational comment (and I always take what he says to heart) that the care of my husband and the finances was of more immediate concern than other wants and desires. So...I told him to hold the money - it is designated for the next Peru mission and I will not apply it to any other thing. And I will pay for DH's meds. But my heart was breaking. As I was mowing the lawn and communing with the Lord about the matter, He reminded me that I had been praying about His changing my attitudes. And part of being Christlike is dying so others can live. SIGH. So I am putting to death my hopes of sooner return so my DH can live. My grievance is that his living is mostly eating, sleeping, and watching tv...but as I ask the Lord why He lets him live, the answer comes - so that I may learn to die. Trouble with being a living sacrifice, it is often painful! Still, I am reminded of Twila Paris's song, "A Heart That Knows You." I was disappointed that Youtube only has the Karaoke version, but it can still give you an idea.
Here are some of the lyrics...
"Thought I knew so much, but I've got so much to learn;
Got so far to go, so much left to burn
Thought I knew you well, But I struggle in your hands
Here again you bring the truth before me
Freedom only comes when I let go, this I know
And a heart that knows you is a HEART THAT CAN WAIT and DIE TO THE DEAREST DESIRE
and a heart that knows you is a heart tht can still celebrate following love through the fire...
...still there is the pain before the glory
and it is your will I must embrace - Oh for grace!...
It may be for my sake, just to help me grow.
Maybe for your kingdom, Lord, I don't need to know..."
John 15:12-13 says "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." And
1 John 3:16 says "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." So, this is another lesson I am learning.
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