MAMISHELI53   116,542
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one step backwards...

Friday, May 25, 2007

It's the eating thing. Food just tastes so good, and sometimes I'm just tired of tracking the calories I would rather just stuff into myself! BUT I continue to workout...even when I would like to skip it...and I even do more than my goal of cardio and strength. So, I'm not TOO down on myself, and I know I'll advance, because I really do want to get rid of this extra weight. One of these times I'm going to break through this whole yo-yo bit and be persevering in self-discipline., even on WEEKENDS. The power to say NO, I DON'T CARE HOW DELISCIOUS IT IS, I'VE HAD ALL THE CALORIES I NEED FOR TODAY AND I CAN HAVE THAT SOME OTHER TIME WHEN I CAN FIT IT IN MY ALLOWANCE.

On the positive side, I do eat less fatty things, I do focus on fruits and vegs,
and Extra Large is a little TOO baggy!


"How come you're so nice?"

Thursday, May 17, 2007

As a Teacher Assistant, I'm occasionally asked to take kids out of the class...whether they're being disruptive, so that others won't be distracted...or the class is particularly distracting and the ones I take out are the give some individual help them catch up on work missed for whatever reason (especially tests and quizzes.) The other day I took out 2 "drummers". It was 3rd block, so I couldn't use the students' cafeteria. We went to my "office" (jokingly called "the Dungeon", a little room off the 3rd floor balcony) and while I had work for them, I didn't anticipate them doing it. I let them drum...and when they got bored of that (what fun is it when you can't drive the teacher nuts?) I offered them the photo album of my 2004 trip to Peru. I find kids usually enjoy looking at photos. So, the one less recalcitrant took me up on the offer, and as he perused them, he asked, "Miss, how come you're so nice?" It kind of surprised me! But I had the answer - "The grace of God."
It's His grace on which I depend to be able to separate the sin from the sinner, to love as Jesus loves. To be able to let remarks like that of the OTHER student - "Were you ALWAYS this ugly?" roll off, recognizing he was lashing out because I had to call the sentry on him for trying to burn the tape that was fastening a box closed, in order to be able to see what was therein. (I told him beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and that I wasn't always this weight.And to the other student's credit, he rebuffed his fellow.)
As the school year progressed, kids changed from not wanting to be separated from their peers, lest they be thought to be in Special Ed (the stigma!) to begging to go with me. Yesterday when I was going to take 3 out, I almost had half the class trying to press out the door with me. And I give honor to Jesus - to His presence in me. Because, consider how the mothers brought the children to Him to bless them, how He encouraged it - I imagine He must have been swarmed with kids. Kids can sense when you genuinely like them. And I genuinely like THESE kids (though at times I may wish to defenestrate the more obstreperous ones - go look it up and improve your vocabulary!)
But when I go to Peru, I'm with youth who are energetically, passionately loving and serving the Lord - and I am so refreshed in THEIR presence, away from the foul language and bad attitudes and disrespect in the public school. Thirty-six more days!


Killer Kanoli...

Monday, May 14, 2007

Well, I'm not sure the exact spelling...somehow that doesn't look's that Italian pastry, made from a waffly type cookie, rolled and stuffed with a sweet cream-cheesy flavored confection and this one was coated with dark chocolate. Well, it didn't kill me of course. I had done very well even since Friday, and this was the last temptation I faced and this one I yielded to. After all, I never buy the things, and they are seldom in my sphere, so I decided to enjoy it. I have continued my workouts faithfully, even going beyond the goal of calorie burning.

I'm planning ahead for the trip to Peru. I'll be bringing the one resistance band because of its portability, and at least one of the cardio dvd's (all 3 if Abi doesn't thnk she'll use them) I'm glad Foreman was blessed with a dvd player. He also got a refrigerator for Yeli for Mother's Day so he can keep my yogurt and fruit therein (and the cheese and chocolate I bring to hiim!)There's one kind of yogurt, from a fruit which looks similar to an avocado but its flesh is orange. I forget its name, something like Lucuma, VERY tasty...and Mango yogurt is good too. The yogurts there are all liquidy, drinkable, and I found them very beneficial when afflicted by travelers' diahrrhea. Fruits are more readily accesible than vegetables. Broccoli and carrots are expensive, but you can get tomatoes well enoough. And onions.
Chicken is very common, and of course fish - Iquitos is surrounded by rivers, and Lima is on the coast.
After the setback of the previous week I had finally worked my way back to the low weight. I grumble at myself occasionally for all the yo-yo-ing, but even now I consider that the skirt I have on I bought 20 pounds ago, and it was just a weeeeee bit snug, and now it fits just fine ("and soon, "she says by faith, "it shall be too large!")Getting there.

So, changed the pix AGAIN, to show some before and afters, as well as some of the fun of mission trips from last year and this, and family.



Monday, May 07, 2007

Okay, I had a bad week last week and the pounds just PILE on with such EASE, it's disgusting! Okay, I don't think I'll ever be THIN: skin loses its elasticiy, and I have years of extra-weight-stretched skin on belly and arms, so that'll just kinda stay...BUT I have touched down at 184.5, and I know I can get back - and go beyond. I will not let one bad week keep me from pressing on. I want to be able to keep up with the youth in Foreman's church when they're dancing joyfully before the Lord. Or as matt Redman sings, "I will dance, I will sing, to be mad for my King; Nothing, Lord, is hindering, this passion in my soul...And I'll become even more undignified than this." Let me be like Joshua and Caleb when they entered the Promised Land, their strength unabated by age. Hm, with the cardio and strength I've been doing (despite lapses in staying withing eating limits) I'm more fit than before (save for knees and ankles when on my feet too long - years of abuse from being overweight and at jobs on my feet hours at a time). No one said it would be easy...but it'll be worth it.



Friday, May 04, 2007

How's that go - "What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God" - ? something like that. My daughter Abi asked me what I want for Mother's Day, and it was funny , I had to tell her I'd been focusing so much on what could I possibly give MY mother, that I hadn't thought about what I wanted. I tld her to write me a sappy letter. I'm very much into sentimental things. For one thing, i don't want any more "stuff' that I 'd just have to get rid of when I eventually move out of this house, especially if I'll be moving to Peru for part of the year. But a letter doesn't take much space. I also told her I wouldn't mind one of those Pepperidge Farm chocolate layer cakes - just once, get it out of my system!
There is a joy in giving that someone who is selfish and self-centered often cannot understand unitl and unless he is set free at least in part from that affliction (aka sin). Then giving can become such a pleasure that it is difficult to think about about what one wants to RECEIVE. Often when I get anything for myself it is with the thought of how I can give it. So many cd's have passed through my hands! I want a higher income so I can give more, not because I want more stuff. (yes I have a lot of debt with which I struggle - due to DH's helath and the medical bills they involve) As Chris Tomlin sings, "I wanna give like I have plenty." Not just materially. Giving of oneself is as important, if not more so. If I give of my time to you, I'm indicating to you that you have value to me. Giving my time in listening, writing, being with someone...
Lord, may I ever give You my most and best! With the self discipline I am learning through Spark, with the improved health and fitness, may I be a vessel that has ever increasing capacity to do those good works which You've prepared for me.
Which also leads me to the change in photos - one of the things God gave me is artistic ability. I've used it to earn some income for myself...and recently , voer the past few years, I've been offering it even more back to Him - using it as a form of worship. But what to do with the accumulated drawings? I didn't feel right just selling them as I do the other things I make and sell - that's my worship! BUT, if someone wants one because it touches his or her heart - well, let any income go to support missions. Again, giving back to God - this can benefit any otf the missions my church supports, including my own.
God so loved the world, He GAVE. I'll just follow that example.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Thanks for much for sharing this! I always look forward to your blog entries, even if I don't always comment on them. Thanks so much, Shel! :D

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SMILINGEYES2 5/4/2007 4:23PM

    What a blessing to read your words. May you continue your journey to good health with a thankful heart overflowing with joy. Your suggestion for a gift that will sustain, a note of one's appreciation for one's mother was so true. God bless you and keep you in the hollow of His hands.

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