Monday, March 05, 2012
As I sit here and read blogs from others, I go back in time and start to remember things I indured and let drive me deeper into my addiction, FOOD. All the children and adults that I walked away from and didn't inform them what they said was hurting.
Growing up I was laughed at by the majority of the kids I knew. Even adults and family members thought it was cute to have a laugh at my expense. In my teens I decided to beat them to the punch and laughed at myself. Then I would come home, then hide while I eat whatever I could and cry from the pain.
As a young adult all this affected my self-esteem and I became further depressed and ate even more. After three failed marriages, and 150 lbs added on, I was ready to give up on life and just eat my life away. I had no will to continue on, or the will to change myself.
Then I met a man that has always respected me. He has never said any unkind words to me, and he loves me for better or worse. It took me several years of being married to him to realize I deserved to be treated this way and I should not accept anything less.
After years of counseling and dealing with the root of the problem that has caused my addiction, and illnesses that put even more weight on me, I am ready to start a new life. One that I deserve.
I know it's a slow process and there are no quick fixes. I have set my motivation, and obtainable goals. With Jesus' help, I will take it one day at a time and will not let setbacks keep me from succeeding.
To sum up how I will look at life now:
I'm not as good as I want to be, but I'm better than I use to be.
Thank you Jesus for the strength you have given me.