Tuesday, September 24, 2013
The past about 2 weeks have been really rough for me. My husband just got a new job (yay!) but that meant we were out insurance (scary, stressful, freaking me out). My milk supply has been all over the place, had to supplement from my stockpile one day, then I had an extra 16 ounces the next day, so I've had to increase pumping to relieve pressure...which just signals the ta-ta's to make more, and hence more pumping, and...you get the idea. If I'm not nursing the baby I've got a machine nursing...it's awkward, boring, and blah.
Overall I've just felt like I have so much to do, and no time to do it at all. My poor chicken coop needs a cleaning...and my fish tank needs a water change for sure...I don't even have time to feed them regularly (it's okay, they're saltwater aka they have a small ecosystem to support them and feeding is mostly supplemental).
To ice this cake I went back to work on the weekends (since that's the only time I'd have a babysitter aka hubby)...and it is far more stressful than I had thought it would be- not that work itself is stressful, because it really isn't at all- it's that my husband isn't exactly giving 100% of his time and attention to the baby like I do...and it upsets me just thinking about it.
My bff since 3rd grade was in town from California this weekend...and I only got to see her for a few hours yesterday morning...and I feel awful about it, because I should have made more time for her, but I didn't plan ahead well enough to make it happen. And when I did see her, I brought Freya with me (no babysitter during the day...mom and husband work) so I wasn't able to devote all my attention to her. I feel badly about everything- I'm just not able to give 100% to anything or anyone anymore, not even the baby, since I leave her in the care of others while I work.
I just feel cruddy. Hopefully as I get back into the swing of things I'll figure things out better.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Hey folks! Sorry I've been gone the past week- we've had a very challenging week sleep/nursing wise...it's been difficult to find time to shower, let alone eat well or track or get online! Freya has been on what is called a "nursing strike" and nursing has been nearly impossible...and because of this, she is eating very frequently and sleeping in short bursts....I'm dead on my feet.
But there is awesome news despite my baby difficulties- my hubby got the offer we've been praying for- a job out in State College, where we went to school (and met!). We couldn't be happier to finally get the opportunity to move out and start our lives for real....we've been living with my parents (hey, we pay rent!). So to get the chance now to start out on our own is the most amazing, liberating thing ever.
So sorry I've been mia, hopefully I'll be back soon!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Okay, gotta get this off my chest...if you know I'm a new mom, and you know I have limited time to get a million things done, what makes you think I have time to listen to you blab on and on? Ain't nobody got time for that!
Sorry, just had to get that out there.
Hope everyone had an awesome day- Freya and mommy went to the outdoor market today- Freya slept the whole time and mommy got as much walking in as she could!
Friday, August 16, 2013
So here we are! I'm finally a proud mama cat to a beautiful baby girl!
We went with the name Freya Petra Torres- since my husband's mother is Italian, we decided it was best to follow the Italian naming tradition, which dictates that the first daughter be named after the father's mother. Since we didn't want to give up Freya as a first name, we decided to go with the middle name after his mom- her middle name being Petrina (the Italian form of the feminine Peter) we went with the German version- Petra. And hence her name!
So far it's been a roller coaster for sure- she ended up losing more weight than she was supposed to (most newborns lose up to 10% of their birth weight, and she lost nearly 11%) in the beginning, but over one weekend gained 7 ounces and has been gaining twice the normal rate since then (she usually gains about 2 ounces a day!).
Yesterday we had our first eye infection, and though we went to the pediatrician, they couldn't tell us for sure what it was, and she's too young for any saline solution, so we've been doing warm compresses every few hours since yesterday....it hasn't been fun at all lol.
Otherwise, we're doing good, and we hope to keep everyone updated!
Gotta go, crying!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
So not going to lie, but the weight gain that comes with the territory is terrifying me. Not because I think I'm fat, per se (I feel fat either way) but because I know how ridiculously difficult this is going to be to take back off... Thankfully I have learned that breastfeeding will burn around 500 calories a day (wooo!) but I still feel like I'm going to be so behind the power curve. I am now weighing more than I have ever weighed...ever...which is fascinating since I'm still (mostly) the same size...I just have a HUGE bump up front (with some added padding to thighs, calves and bum, because God wanted to punish me more I guess).
However, when I express my distress to the OB/GYN's at my health care facility they just shake their heads and say I'm doing fine...FINE?! How can this much weight be FINE?! I want to scream, but they assure me that, since all other variables are in normal ranges (my BP is awesome [it always is] and my blood work and urinalysis always come back clean) that I have nothing to worry about. Hmph, I say, tell that to my Ikea scale which I'm pretty sure is about 50 pounds from maxing out!
Otherwise...everything is, in fact, going smoothly. This week I have pulled a muscle in my lower abdominal, which, when you are this sensitive, feels far worse than it is, and can be achieved by doing as little as moving faster than you should have. It's a good thing I've left work, because I'm just about down for the count these days...which of course just adds to my sense of overwhelming odds for postpartum weight loss.
Le sigh. Guess I'll tackle it when I get there in another month and a half...let's just pray I don't balloon further til then!
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