Thursday, October 25, 2012
I bought some chocolate chips. You know, for SOMEDAY, when I needed to make cookies. Well, you know how that went. They have been calling me for days. I fought that urge and yesterday I caved. Made a double batch: half white chocolate macadamia and half chocolate, peanut butter, white chocolate chip.
BUT, I am proud of myself because I baked a dozen each, then I scooped the rest into balls and stuck then in the freezer. Now I have cookies ready to go in a pinch but I'm not tempting myself having 4 dozen cookies sitting around whispering my name. I had a few cookies yesterday, bagged them up for franks lunch and for Kelly and for Kady's boyfriends lunch and now I'm done.
Progress, people!!! Do you think I'm finally getting smarter about my binge inducing trigger foods? Is there hope? I say YES! (God, they were delicious!)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I have been on Amberen for 7 weeks and I said I would update you all so here goes. Within the first few days, my hotnflsshes and night sweats stopped. My sleeep was gradually getting better and my irritation level was diminishing. I started the second of 3 boxes a few weeks ago and this has been really interesting.
My hot flash and night sweats have begin increasing recently but I am able to sleep longer and better. I have had fewer mood swings and my energy level has increased.
There are some certain menopausal sexual annoyances that have improved as well (if you want details, message me).
This is a 3 month course of meds that you take 1 or 2 times a year.
All in all, I have been happy with the changes and am anxious for things to level out. I will keep you posted....jan
Sunday, October 21, 2012
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend.. I spent mine tearing out carpet and cleaning and doing a lot of hard physical work. Then I ate at a BUFFET last night. I didnt go too far but I definatly could have done better. oh well. Thats life. Buffets happen. I am not going to cry over it just had a better day today.
We also saw Taken 2 at the movies, it was pretty good.
Busy week ahead but I will handle what ever comes my way. Kady and I are grocery shopping together Monday so we can plan meals and eat well. ALways nice when she is on board too. She has good ideas for meals when I get in a rut. And she will cook too! so I LOVE that...
Tell me something you are working on....
Saturday, October 20, 2012
I was thinking the other day (always scary, I know!) about my life now compared to 2.5 years ago.
How I felt then (horrible, in pain, fat, depressed, withdrawn, angry) is nowhere I ever want to be again. I question myself about why I let myself go down that road. I was so unhappy! I just lived in a bubble of pain and meds and drifted through each day. I did not really live. I wasted a lot of time. Food was my friend and the only one I wanted close.
There was a little spark inside that started quietly whispering about losing weight (again). I googled weight watchers but I didnt want to go to the meetings and plus, it cost a lot of money. I then found Sparkpeople and began my weight loss journey, which as many of you know, becomes so much more than that.
I very quickly saw success and I loved the format of this place. I met some people, I began to blog, I reached out and someone was always there. I have always loved to write so this gave me a safe place to start working out some stuff. Stuff I didnt even realize was going on.
As I came out of my haze, my funk, my self imposed punishment for no reason at all, I started to open up again. I have always been a very optimistic person, love to laugh, love to be around people and they love to be around me. Who I was for that period of time, before SP, was a stranger to my friends and family. My daughters and nieces actually did an intervention about my behavior, that I was not "me" and how sad that made them.
There are times that I think about food in unhealthy ways, when I dont want to go for a walk or do anything but veg out in front of tv, when I want to snack, snack, snack and can't get full. But those are blips, not the steady hum of my new healthier lifestyle.
Is it always a challenge? truthfully, yes, probably. But I am so much better equipped to deal with what comes up now. I can handle it. Yes, I may over eat or say screw it and eat a batch of cookies (mmm, cookies!) but that is ONE DAY, not my entire life!
Not anymore. I KNOW too much to go back. Even if I decided to leave sparkpeople, go back to how I ate, never excercise again, what would be the benefit? I CANNOT ever go back there.
So even if I screw up, no matter how bad, how long or how much weight I regain, I KNOW I will never give up. I will move forward no matter how long it takes and hit my goals. I cannot FORGET what I have learned, who I have met, how much weight I have lost, how good it feels.
That door is slammed shut behind me and there is no going back. It is not so much that I dont want to, it is more that I am no longer that person. I want more. And I know too much to go back. I cannot un-remember all that I have gained. It is part of me, a wonderful part of me. It is who I am now. And who I am going to be.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
I wanted to tell you, I am here.
I have rarely missed a day since march 2010. Sparkpeople has changed my life in many ways, not the least of which is the friends I have made. Not just other members, but friends. The ones I think about daily, worry about, laugh with, get inspired by.
So many wonderful and awesome people in one place is like a smorgasbord of treats one can choose from.
Need some tough love? We got that. Need a warm hug? Not a problem! Need some health or fitness advice? Psshhhh, that's easy.
There is literally nothing I go through that I do not have someone to ask and support me.
If you need something, reach out. Dont wait for a spark friend to ask you. We all have busy lives. I for one, am never to busy for you. Let me know you need me, and baby, I am here.
Sometimes, I miss a blog or don't have much time to spend on spark so I may miss something, so if you need some mama time, PLEASE let me know. And I know you will do that for me when I need you, too.
Its a beautiful thing.
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