MAMADWARF   45,198
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Did you ever notice

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Ever notice how when someone wants to talk to you, it really means "I want you to agree with me and if you don't,your opinion is invalid and I may or may not be mad at you"?

Yea me too. Apparently I got the memo late and just realized this.

Well, will keep that in mind and Either choose A. Agree outside while maintaining my point of view on the inside or B. Give my opinion anyway, and hope for the best.

I guess this is a case by case basis. I hate learning new things.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NINJA_SMOO 8/20/2012 10:53AM

  Sort of off track, but my favourite similar thing is when someone asks you a question because they want you to ask it back. For examle, they don't really care what you're doing on the weekend, they just want to share their plans.

Back on topic, I completely agree. I think often people just want their opinion validated and that's why they'll completely ignore others who disagree. They're not actually looking for advice or your opinion.

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THREEE 8/19/2012 11:02PM least you know you are not an old dog emoticon

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DAISY443 8/19/2012 3:38PM

    One of life's hardest lessons for me it to pick my battles! Good luck!

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MYOWNHERO 8/19/2012 10:22AM

    I like Diane7786's option C. Sometimes I'll add a bit of "change the subject by going off on an obscure tangent until they think you're a loon". Then they wander off.

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AAAACK 8/18/2012 7:55PM

    Gosh, I didn't know you knew my family!

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SKY2012 8/18/2012 6:53PM

    you are too funny LOL

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1CRAZYDOG 8/18/2012 6:40PM

    DIANE 7786 took the words out of my mouth!!!! I quite often go with option C -- give a neutral answer since, what I sould say isn't going to change their opinion anyway. This way you've listened and not started a conflict.

Now, if it is something morally @ issue, I would not hesitate @ option B -- tell 'em outright what I think and hope for the best.

Interesting, thought provoking blog. Thanks!

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MAMADWARF 8/18/2012 6:35PM

    A is easiest and I'm inclined to go that route to keep the peace but if I think i'm right, or I'm passionate about the subject matter, I will argue to the death. If I am giving very non Committal answers and you insist on dragging my opinions out of me, be prepared. You would think people closest to me would know this. Oh yea, first thing in the morning is NEVER a good idea. They should know that too.

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BADASSBLONDIE 8/18/2012 6:17PM

    I feel like it's very person specific. A sign that I really feel respected by a friend is when I can choose B and not fight ensues.

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DIANE7786 8/18/2012 6:10PM

    There is an option C. In my experience people who say they want to talk really want someone to listen. Often they don't ask my opinion. Sometimes they don't notice that I haven't said a word. They keep talking! There's no reason to get into an argument when I know my thoughts won't change their opinion or if the outcome doesn't affect me. I say things like, "That's interesting" and "I see your point" without saying I disagree. When I have to, I find at least one thing about the topic that we can agree. Politics? The candidate has cute kids! If a topic really matters I'm great at Option B but most times the drama isn't worth the effort.

Comment edited on: 8/18/2012 6:13:45 PM

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GRACEISENUF 8/18/2012 5:54PM

    Hold onto what you know is right and when correction comes and it is in your best interest God will show you that a change needs to be made. Trust in him cuz he will NEVER let you down but he says people will, as we are all imperfect.

It is always hard for me to hold my tongue and not argue my viewpoint. :) Guess that's why I need God 24/7.


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SARAWALKS 8/18/2012 5:46PM

    I have been taking the easy way out for most of my life but nowadays I am trying B. It is sometimes worth it. emoticon

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/18/2012 5:42PM

    A is easiest but that is the problem. I am not going to be bullied into something because it is easy. This is why there is so much fighting on FB now. Suddenly you can no longer have an opinion without being viciously attacked for disagreeing.

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TRIXYMAHOGANY 8/18/2012 5:38PM

    A friend I'd known for years recently started forcing me to agree with him whenever we talked, even if he was flat-out wrong (in a factual sense) so I know how you feel!

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LTMURPHY7 8/18/2012 5:37PM


"A: is probably easiest

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things i thought about today

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Look how far my daughter has come in a year since her life altering surgery for crohns disease.
Look how far I have come since March 2010.

I'm lucky

People are annoying.
People are awesome.

I'm tired
I'm going to walk anyway.

Dinner is gonna be so good!
Dinner sucked.

I'm hungry.
Too bad. You're done.

I can't wait for my haircut tomorrow.
I'm gonna have fun at the car show with frank tomorrow.

I like the new spark coach feature. Am I going to sign up for it after my trial?
Should I join a gym. Its too hard trying g to find someone to play tennis with me even though I enjoyed it so much. Maybe I need to take that next step. Am I willing to get out of my comfort zone yet again? I suppose I will have to if I want to see progress, which I do.

I am so glad I found spark people. I love my friends here.

I'm going to bed.hope I sleep.

Good night.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AAAACK 8/17/2012 2:32PM

    This is one of those cool "reframing" blogs I love so much. A great reminder to look at things from different perspectives.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/16/2012 4:45PM

    So glad the surgery helped your daughter. So difficult to deal with!

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CANNIE50 8/16/2012 4:39PM

    "everything you want is just outside your comfort zone" so, yes, go get uncomfortable, dear friend Jan! Yay about your girl doing so well despite that awful illness (my heart goes out to her). THank God the wonderful people outweigh the annoying people (most days). So glad you are on my list of wonderful people. emoticon

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DAISY443 8/16/2012 8:07AM

    Good night!

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RUNNER12COM 8/16/2012 6:54AM

    Ha! I think I stumbled across more of the annoying ones than the awesome ones today. Thanks for the reminder that the other folks are out there, too!

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WILLPARKINSON 8/16/2012 3:38AM

    Sleep well. Live tomorrow. :)

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THREEE 8/16/2012 12:36AM

    i've seen the spark coach ad, but have no idea what it to share? emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 8/16/2012 12:22AM

    I love you too Jan....wish I was closer to you because I would for SURE play tennis with you. I haven't played for years but I sure did like it when I used to play.

Sleep well.


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sunday check in 5

Sunday, August 12, 2012

So how was your week?

I had a great week of eating. I stuck to what I said I would NOT do which was no fast food.

I'm sticking with it this week, too.

Your home work this week? What is the toughest day for you and why?

Mine is Saturday because I'm not working and I'm usually in very social situations with out of my control food things. Not this saturday. No matter what comes up, I'm going to stay in range.

There you have it. Lay it on me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 8/13/2012 5:59PM

    What are weekends for? Getting into trouble if you don't have a plan! Good planning. Good luck!

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MELLYBEANS0919 8/13/2012 12:08PM

    Good job!
I don't have a specific tough day. I struggle every day with making the better choice. Lately I've had too many treats. Working on it.

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    Week was good. I said I would not drink wine every night this week and I managed to stick to that, so yay!! :)

I would say my toughest day would be Saturday because it usually involves some sort of gathering which involves lots of crappy (yummy) food and adult beverages.

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DAISY443 8/13/2012 7:51AM

    You are awesome! My worst day is whichever day I just can't get moving! Happens about once a week, but no particular pattern! Yesterday was it this time!

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THREEE 8/13/2012 1:14AM

    yea, mama!!!

i, also had a great week of eating...well, eating everything i could think of...and i knew i was off-target, BUT, i recognized i was doing something that was TEMPORARILY off the chart, but i didn't actually feel despair...HMMMM???

i guess i am confident that i KNOW what i need to do and i know i will get back to it and i can't feel, i'm back at it...go, threee!!!

p.s. still haven't made poster...i'm going to let my little stinkerdink help me...she'll hold me to task...

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CANNIE50 8/13/2012 1:00AM

    Hi Jan -- nice work, mama-girl!! I have gone on trail run/hikes for the last two mornings with my best friend and our dogs, who are brothers, so that is a great way to start my day and it does help me to eat better for at least half the day because I am more aware of eating for fuel, rather than just to get something in my belly. The hardest day for me? Hmmm....they are all a bit crazy right now because it is all-Payton, all the time, until school starts. My brain hurts because he NEVER stops making noise, ever. It is a good thing I absolutely adore that boy because he is a handful, as you know.
I am proud of you, Miss Jan - you are doing so well. emoticon

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SARAWALKS 8/12/2012 10:44PM

    Wednesday. I start off fine and then I get sick and tired of being good. emoticon

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ASMITH3B 8/12/2012 10:40PM

    Awesome job!

My worst day is Sunday. I don't know if it's because my husband is home, because it's the weekend, because Sunday is busy enough that we often resort to fast food, or because the next day is Monday and there's the "diet starts Monday" mentality, but there it is.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/12/2012 10:39PM

    Plan ahead and track every bite even if I don't like how it comes out in the end.

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SNOOPY-ACE 8/12/2012 10:25PM


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LANAHAUTH21 8/12/2012 10:24PM

  I am glad for you. Keep up the good work.

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pat on the back or kick in the butt?

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Hello my peeps!

I have had an excellent week. We (Kady and I) made a menu plan so dinners have been very easy and healthy this week. I made the commitment on my Sunday check in 4 blog to NOT eat any fast food or convenience foods this week.

JUST because I stated it, it kept me out of the drive through Monday and today!
I did come home and eat a smart ones mini pizza (which is a convenience food but it was a healthy one so I am gonna let that slide) and all the rest of my meals have been with healthy, fresh food. It feels good.

Today I went to the grocery because I had no fruit at all and I always do better when I make a fruit salad and then eat it for 3 or 4 days. I have gotten out of that habit lately and I decided today was the day (Thanks Callikia for that nugget on your blog today) to do something better for myself.

I digress. Went to the store, and saw these adorable little cupcakes that were decorated like little pies. SO CUTE. (research and development, ok!????) so I got them. I told myself I wouldnt eat one. I told the clerk I wouldnt eat one. I told the bagger I wouldnt eat one. Came home and showed my girls and told THEM I wouldnt eat one. Had lunch and really wanted to eat one. Put it in my tracker. 300 calories. UM, NO! So had a fiber one 90 calorie bar instead and you know what? It was good.

Those cupcakes are still in the frig. I have not eaten one. I am not going to eat one and by not eating one, I feel strong. I feel healthy. I feel good. When I go to bed tonight, I am going to pat myself on the back for all the things I did RIGHT today.

It will feel alot better than going to bed kicking my own A$$ and feeling like a fat failure because I couldnt even keep a cupcake out of my own face. I mean, I TOLD she checkout lady I wouldnt eat it. How could I go back on my word. I have integrity, after all!

I also signed up for the free 2 week spark coaching thingy. I wasnt going to. I thought I would wait till next week maybe when I am more stable and not trying to get off my weekend camping weight but I clicked on it anyway and I am glad I did.

I think I need the focus. I think I need to get a little more serious. I have been COMPLACENT (thanks Holly for THAT little nugget of wisdom too!) and it is not enough. It really isnt what I want.

I want to be SMUG because it is so easy. I want to struggle to find something to write about that people can relate to becuase it is HARD to lose weight but for me it is easy. I want to be where I was the first ready, so focused, so determined that I could barely contain myself and I couldnt understand why people were having such a hard time because all I had to do was follow the plan and the weight was FALLING off.

Or maybe I dont want to go back. Maybe I just want to keep going forward or downward, ....anywhere but sideways or upward.

This may bite me in the butt but I am going to say it anyway.

I feel the shift, the winds of change, blowing me back on my path to health, wellness and hotness. Oh yeah, Its happening. And Im running with it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AAAACK 8/15/2012 4:02PM

    Go, hotness!
I'm TOTALLY impressed that you didn't eat those cupcakes. That their little voices didn't wake you in the night to liberate them from the fridge., what ARE you going to do with them? Take a picture and get them out? Cut the bottoms off and freeze the tops? or...have a food fight with them? Good luck, wherever they end up.

I hope your winds of change continue to blow in a favorable direction.

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TAICHIDANCER 8/13/2012 11:48AM

    So why did you buy 'em?!?

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MOONBIRD 8/13/2012 11:36AM

    Great job resisting that cupcake! I have a hard time not eating sweets if they're in the house. Think of it this way..there are still 4 months of this year, and you can kick some ass by Christmas. :)

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GRACEISENUF 8/12/2012 8:18PM

    "Ride like the wind"....way to go on resisting that lil pie cpcake. Don't know how I missed this blog...head in the clouds I guess.

Hope the week ahead is a GREAT one for you Jan.

Much love,

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CANNIE50 8/12/2012 2:03PM

    You inspired me with your menu plan. I had not done one for awhile. Last night I went grocery shopping (by myself! - Payton was home with dh) and today I am going to do some cooking so that, for the next few days, we will have dinners. Payton's football practice is from 5-7:30 pm which makes dinner very challenging and fast food very tempting.
No going backwards, doll, only forward - stronger, wiser, more determined. You have evidence that you are quite capable of doing what needs to be done.

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SWEDE_SU 8/10/2012 1:34AM

    i like that, the winds of change - you *can* run with the wind! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LISALGB 8/9/2012 8:32PM

    Way to go, staying away from the cupcakes!! They are evil little creatures, you know. They look pretty on the outside, all innocent and cute - but that's how they get you. Be strong, my friend!!

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DAISY443 8/9/2012 8:55AM

    emoticon Each time you overcome temptation is a win, win! Even if you eventually give in, you are building confidence that you CAN do it. And I know that you CAN do it!

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    emoticon Good for you for not eating the cupcake! I've also found that if I tell people my goals I am more likely to stick to them - I don't want to be embarrassed by not doing what I said I was going to do. Whatever it takes!

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    Yay you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration - you have no idea how much I needed this today!!! :)

- Michelle

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THREEE 8/9/2012 4:47AM

    i am so glad the stirrings in your soul are back and you are 'at it'...would you cough on me so i can catch it? please?

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    That is so wonderful. I have noticed I can control myself and have just one of something bad or avoid them. I gave in to temptation the other day so i made myself do a second workout because I was so mad at myself. that is so great that you avoided those cupcakes!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/8/2012 10:49PM

    Step away from those little devil cupcakes! Good job.

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SERENEART 8/8/2012 10:28PM


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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/8/2012 10:22PM

    I am proud of you for not eating the pigcakes :). I bet they are cute though. I couldn't have them in the house because I need them out of reach. I am proud of you.

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PINKNFITCARLA 8/8/2012 10:13PM

    Awesome blog! Great job not eating the cupcake!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/8/2012 10:06PM

    Well done on staying away from the cupcakes, I now how hard that is. God forbid it was a cookie ; ) I think about how "easy" it was the first year, but then I think about how strict I was about my schtuff, and I'm NOT trying to do THAT! I'm looking for balance, and I know I'll find it. I can hear a new excitiment in your voice, and I KNOW you'll find what you need to keep pressing forward and more importantly, downward. *HUGS*

Comment edited on: 8/8/2012 10:07:04 PM

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MISSYCRS99 8/8/2012 9:36PM

  keep up the good work

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good thing im stubborn!

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

If I'm wasn't stubborn, I would have quit by now.
If I wasn't stubborn, I would not have gotten so far.
I'f I wasn't stubborn, I wouldn't care about letting myself and everyone else down.

If I wasn't stubborn, I would probably join a gym or take a class or get a trainer or eat better food.

I am gonna make this work for me.
Because I said I would and I am nothing if not stubborn. I won't quit and I won't fail.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 8/8/2012 7:46PM

    Thank goodness for stubborn, eh!

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MELLYBEANS0919 8/8/2012 12:55PM

    I am as stubborn as a mule too which is why I am still on Spark almost 3 years later without having lost much weight. emoticon

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OAKSHAVEN 8/8/2012 11:18AM

    Stubborn can work wonders, as long as you can change what you are stubborn about when you need to. :) Good luck, and keep planting your feet firmly in success.

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DAISY443 8/8/2012 9:53AM

    Stubborn on! It works for you!

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GAELENEC 8/8/2012 7:49AM

    Teeth, fingernails, hairclips.... hang on by whatever you've got! It only takes that last little bit of willpower to get through sometimes....

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/8/2012 7:23AM

    ME too! You've got this, just keep pushing!

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THREEE 8/8/2012 4:33AM

    woman(aka ho)
you sound like i need of some 'goosing' i ate the most FRIED s###
that i have eaten in awhile AND i went by to McD's and bought a large COKE AND A ROLO McFLURRY!!!

FORTUNATELY, the mcflurry that i have been fantasizing about all summer, was NOT worth the calories...yea! i will no longer be craving something that does not even taste anywhere close to what it's name implies

anyway, you ARE an inspiration to us(me, for sure) and we get needing a little boost now and then...
i have not made my poster yet, but i have been doing some of the preplanning...
i have 3 committed returns to do, and then i will have 'free' time to put the scissors and glue to the poster board...

thanks for being an inspiration/cheerleader...and i hope we encourage you as well...

gggoooooooOOOOOO, MAMADWARF!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    I don't call it stubborn. I call it "attitude". And we all know that attitude is everything.

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AAAACK 8/8/2012 1:58AM

    I love stubborn! Oh, wait, except in my kid (tee hee). You go girl, and keep being stubborn.

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BIGMAMAT 8/8/2012 12:01AM

    I love your spunky nature, and your love for life. I love you stubborn, just the way you are. emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 8/7/2012 11:37PM

    Good for you! Never quit and you will never fail.

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NAOLEE 8/7/2012 11:37PM

    emoticon You are in the best place. Here you have everything to lose weight. Take one step at the time. emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 8/7/2012 11:34PM

    Keep on being stubborn as it will make you a winner. Just stay the course and take one step at a time. Little steps add up to success. Enjoy your journey

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