Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I am a brat. I am sure you guys are shocked and stunned to hear such a thing.
I know this about myself and I try to fight it. I was just telling one of my sparkies how I had to put my inner brat in time out.
I want what I want when I want it. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Typical brat behavior.
Example: Frank just told me we needed to step up our walk. We are slacking according to him. We dont go as far or as long as we used to.
THEN he said that when we were walking farther, I was doing better at losing weight.
**Truth, we walk about 45 minutes instead of 55-60 minutes but a few weeks ago we were only walking about 30 minutes**
SCREECHING HALT: WHAT DID YOU SAY???? (brat in full effect)
My brain was like HELL NOOOO you did NOT just get involved in my weight loss situation! You know nothing about it!! YOU are not allowed to talk to ME ABOUT THAT!
But I (slightly snippy) said, " Well you know what? The first 3 months I lost weight I wasnt even doing ANY excercise! When we were playing tennis 2-3 days a week, I wasn't losing weight.
When I worked out at the gym for 2 years, 3 and 4 days a week, I only lost 20 pounds. You wanna know why? Because I was still eating whatever I wanted.
So really, it is not about the excercise for me, it is about eating clean, which by the way, I have had a stellar week in that department. ANd you know what? I dont want this to be all about "Let's excercise". I want to simply go for a walk with my dog and my husband. I dont want to feel like I HAVE to do this and that it is work. I want it to be nice. I want it to be stressless. I do not want to feel like I HAVE to do it.
That's when I realized I lost him.Tuned out. Probably about the first sentence. And I realized I cannot explain this to him. Because it doesnt make sense. It is childish, bratty behavior.
But it is how I feel.
I feel like if I look at our (nearly) every night walk as excercise, I wont want to do it.
I am the world's oldest living brat. Ridiculous.