Thursday, August 05, 2010
Man, this has been a loooooong month! This has been the hardest 5 lbs I have had to lose so far! I am just 2 pounds away from hitting one of my mini goals of losing 40 lbs and I have struggled for every ounce. I am eating well, walking etc. but I began a new medication and it has stalled me. I know that things are starting to level out finally so that makes me happy to be making progress again. I will hit it next week before I leave on vacation on Weds. (Yes I am going again, this time to southern utah for a 4 day UTV ride in the mountains with hubby and friends).
I am going back and forth between feeling impatient to hit this goal and knowing that I will hit it eventually. Really, the knowing has to win over the feeling. The feelings have just gotten me in trouble over the years (I feel bored, I eat, I feel sad, I eat etc.) while the knowing has largely gone unnoticed ( I know there is 2500 calories in that one item and I know I dont need that much for the whole day!).
As I have been on this journey since March, the feeling and the knowing have become more friendly instead of constantly being at war. (ie: I need to walk even tho I don't feel like it but I will feel better if I do it). Feelings have become less dominant and I am leading by the knowing these days. Not that the feeling doesn't put up a great fight but knowing is well, smarter!
This blog took a different turn from what I started writing about but it is part of my journey (ie: therapy) to sort things out. How do you feel today? What do you know today?
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
I uploaded a background of my grand-dog, Stitchy, as my background. I am crazy about her. Like, literally. My oldest daughter, Kelly, rescued her as a puppy and I fell instantly in love. She is my motivation for walking every day. So this is important information about me that you need to know! I know so many of you love your dogs too, so I know I'm in good company!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Today, I was leaving a comment for mezzoangel (if you dont read her blogs, you are missing out!) and as I was rambling, I mean writing, I realized something.
I am becoming a bit too comfortable. I have been on Spark since March, have lost about 35 pounds and I began walking a mile, 3-4 days a week (i have a knee replacement, 2 bulged discs and Im fat so I always told myself I couldnt possibly walk anywhere!).
Since I have been walking with my hubby and my dog, I barely limp anymore and I feel so much better but I am not really challenging myself anymore. I need to go farther or faster or both and I have been talking about yoga for awhile now but still havent tried it soooooooooo, I think it's time.
I also am a devoted nutrition tracker but for the last couple of weeks (lots of being away and a new hormonal medication) I have hit my calorie range but not always my other ranges like carbs, fat, and protein. Sometimes I am over, sometimes under but I used to make sure I fit those targets every day.
SO: I am going to start accuratly tracking again starting tomorrow which will include meal planning and adjusting by the end of the day so I get all my food in the appropriate amounts and am going to ramp up my excercise regime as well.
I do not want to get complacent. I have a long way to go and I am going to get there. I just need to use the tools that I have and that includes all of your support so thank you in advance.
You have all been so fantastic while cheering me on and I appreciate it more than I can say. Progress, not perfection! (just a little more progress, please!)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
So, I was camping with freinds and family this weekend. Something happened and I wanted to share it with you becuase it illustrates something about the changes in my life.
I had some small camping lights that operate on batteries. My girls (19 and 24) each had one. The green ones batteries were dead and I tried to unscrew it to add new batteries (yes, that is how organized I was, I had the right batteries!!). I handed it to my hubby and he could not twist the bottom cover off. He left it on the table to do other stuff. Later in the evening, the girls and I were sitting around and I started messing with the light. I tried really hard to twist it and the girls were laughing at me straining to open it. Kelly said, "Mom, you can't open it, just forget it. It was $2.00, who cares?". At that moment, I felt a feirce determination start in my gut and I told her, "Oh hell no, I am getting this open!!"
To their amusement, I twisted, banged, pried and tried and couldnt open it. I realized the batteries had corodded and so sealed the plastic. I poured some coke in it and kept trying. Nothing.
I was starting to get mad and was not gonna let this stupid light beat me! I tried again and again and then I felt it give. I was so excited!! I twisted it open and was dancing around the camp ground and the girls were laughing telling me how stubborn I was!
I put in new batteries, closed the lid, turned it on and ...................nothing. GAHHH! i was so mad! All of that to not even work? I opened it again, figuring I broke it when I was pounding on it, took out the batteries and saw there was some corrosion on the metal things so I poured some coke on it and cleaned it, put the batteries back in, screwed the lid on and turned it on.
It lit!! it worked!! I was so happy that I didn't let it beat me, that I didn't give up and it occured to me how much sparkpeople has to do with that. It is carrying over into all aspects of my life. This positive feeling, the girl who will not quit, the one who's light will shine, damn it!
I think it is a good analogy about not having that quit button anymore, that if I keep trying there is nothing I cant do and that includes getting a light working or getting 2 out of 3 tents back in the bags they came with including covers and poles. It includes eating healthy (without tracking all weekend). I swam, ate well, had fun, got compliments on my strength and will power, raced someone by jogging to a tree and back-that was hilarious!).
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! If I can, you can!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Yep, Im going out of town again. This time, camping, but I am in charge of the food situation this time.
97% fat free kosher hot dogs, bbq chicken, tri tip, turkey burgers and asada taco's. My sparky sister is bringing the sides and I am doing the main dishes so I know we will be eating well and staying on track. I sent my daughter to get the snacks they would like and I got some baked chips and salsa, and some fresh fruit. There is a killer vegetable stand on the way to the lake and I will stop and get fresh corn on the cob.
I will swim, walk my dog and enjoy the time with friends and family. Food will not be an excuse or my focus, it will be an enhancement to the good time I am planning on having. I am bringing my laptop and will log my food and excercise.
So have a great week and weekend and I will check in when I get back. LOVES!!!
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