MAMADWARF   44,950
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Monday, July 02, 2012

When I first started here on sparkpeople in March of 2010, I did not really believe I could lose weight. I was going to "give it a shot".

I told nobody but my husband and my kids. But I told myself, when I lost 15 pounds, I would announce it. I had to prove to myself I could lose some weight and then I was going to tell everyone and I would have a head start.

I would be accountable.

I did lose 15 pounds. I told the top 3 F's...Friends, Family, Facebook.

Those first 15 came off so quickly, I was encouraged. I also knew that once I told everyone, people would expect me to keep going or they would wait to watch me fail.

I lost 50 pounds that first year. The 2nd year I lost 20 and got a total of 70 pounds off (keeping in mind, my original goal was to lose 111 pounds).

Then vacations happened. Life happened. Cake pops happened.

I lost the same 5-10 pounds over and over and over. But I was happy because I proved to myself that I could "maintain".

I decided this year (my 3rd year) would be about finishing.

Now that life is still happening, as well as vacations, cake pops, cookies, Captain Morgan, summer, winter, spring and fall, I have to face the truth.

I am gradually losing ground.

The glowing numbers on my tracker no longer read 70 pounds down. The truth is in Orange letters....55.

That means I have not maintained my weight. It means I have gained 15 pounds.

My shorts are getting tight. My muffin top is growing. I feel every one of those pounds.

I re-read some blogs to see where my head was at when I started. I am going back to read my trackers...what was I eating then? what was I not eating then?

I am determined to lose these 15 pounds and then keep going.

I didn't come here to be defeated. I came here to LOSE and by lose, I mean WIN.

So, I have confessed the 15 pounds, I am accountable, I am determined and I AM going to finish what I started.

Please hold me accountable. Please stay with me. I did not lose the first amount of weight by myself and I will need you to help me.

Here we go.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIGMAMAT 7/4/2012 4:28PM

    emoticon" I am accountable, I am determined and I AM going to finish what I started. "

I AM WITH YOU! let's do this thing!!! emoticon

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MELLYBEANS0919 7/3/2012 10:57AM

You did it before, you can do it again!

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DAISY443 7/3/2012 8:18AM

    I find that I start "cheating". "forgetting" to log those 2 cookies (with bites out of them or not), thinking I will exercise tomorrow, doing 12 reps of strength training instead of 15 or 20. Maybe we just need to go back to step one, woman up and do it! We can, you know!

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CINDYLUFUS 7/3/2012 7:51AM

    I am exactly in the same spot as you. I had lost 85 lbs. and maintained that loss for over a year. Then life happened, and now I am up about 20 lbs. I decided it is time to regroup and restart. We can do this together!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 7/3/2012 6:55AM

    Oh I should read some of my blogs! Great idea! We got this! emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 7/2/2012 10:28PM

    I have been doing these same things. Wondering what happened to my head and my meals and my exercise and why I let this happen when I told myself I never would let it. But WE can do this! We are still here and we will find a way to make this happen! I came across this quote the other day:

You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
--Ralph Marston

Let's get on it!

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LISALGB 7/2/2012 10:09PM

    Cheering you on!! You can do this!!

emoticon emoticon

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RUNNER12COM 7/2/2012 9:03PM

    So much wisdom here, there is no way you can fail.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/2/2012 8:56PM

    That's right mama, here we go! I did the exact same things when I was having a hard time. I went back and read my food logs. Read what kind of workouts I was doing and did EXACTLY that. It jump started me and get me right on track. You're gonna do this, and I'll be here every step of the way. Love you!

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CELLISTA1 7/2/2012 7:49PM

    I hear you. That was hard for you to admit. However....... I think the time is coming for some serious examination of personal issues. You've said it before: why, just when you have a plan or a goal in place, do you do just the opposite of what you should be doing? I do it too. This is not about not knowing what to do, because we know. What is it that is stopping us? I give you (and me too) credit for enjoying life! But something is stopping us at a critical moment and if we don't examine it, I don't know if we will ever really conquer this. You know how much I respect and admire you. I will listen to whatever you have to say.

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ISAHLIA 7/2/2012 6:53PM

    emoticon It's good to look at where you are to re-group, re-focus, and charge ahead again! You CAN do this, you know you can you've done so much already. Finish the rest to show the rest of us how it is done! You can do it.

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    Right here with you my friend. It is go time.

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cookies and tarts (pictures)

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Reece's peanut butter cup and hersheys chocolate chunk cookies and rapsberry tarts.

I have no comments other than to say, they are all in the freezer now for the 4th of July BBQ...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBELIEVER 7/2/2012 11:04AM

    Hmmm. Dangerous! But I love DAISY443's comment!

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DAISY443 7/2/2012 10:00AM

    Great idea! In the future all the cookies I serve will be shaped as though they had one bite out of them! How many calories are there in one bite of cookie?? Hmmmmm!

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PJH2028 7/2/2012 9:17AM

    Safely in the fridge. haha! You know how to entertain!

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    And yet more desserts that won't be saved for us.

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JERZGURL_NAN 7/1/2012 11:40PM

    thanks for putting a smile on our faces - can't believe that we really are preparing for July 4th!!! Love the 4th and looking forward to the day off!! Let's PARTEEE

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LISALGB 7/1/2012 11:25PM

    Oh my, those look delicious!! Have a Happy 4th of July!!

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    It's weird, but mine come out of the oven with that little bite out of them too...I thought it was just me! emoticon

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CANNIE50 7/1/2012 9:53PM

    You crack me up, girlie. emoticon emoticon

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_CYNDY55_ 7/1/2012 9:53PM

    emoticonYUMMM emoticon emoticon

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JUSTDOIT011 7/1/2012 9:48PM

    emoticon = emoticon
Looks great!

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MJ7DM33 7/1/2012 9:40PM

  They look really good!!!

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PAMATX 7/1/2012 9:40PM


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CORINA-MOMOF4 7/1/2012 9:33PM


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What's worse?

Sunday, July 01, 2012

What's worse?

Eating old Halloween candy


chopping it up and making cookies out of it?

Guess which one I chose?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY443 7/2/2012 10:04AM

    You had peanut butter cups left??? How could that happen?? That's just not right! lol

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CANNIE50 7/1/2012 8:32PM

    Halloween candy doesn't survive to see emoticon at my house, it sure as heck isn't still hanging around by emoticon. I am quite impressed......

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TERRYT55 7/1/2012 7:14PM

    Too funny.......did you take pics of the cookies you made????

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LISALGB 7/1/2012 6:21PM

    Well, all I have to say is, a good cookie is most difficult to resist. And, that's all I have to say about that. emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/1/2012 6:21PM

    Too funny! I'm sure they were delicious = )

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MELLYBEANS0919 7/1/2012 4:55PM

    Impressed you would have Halloween candy still.

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MAMADWARF 7/1/2012 4:46PM

    They were reece's peanut butter cup and plain hersheys mini candy bars...candy corn NEVER would have survived November...

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SMILINGTREE 7/1/2012 3:50PM

    I'm just impressed there was still Halloween candy around...

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    JANNNN!!!! You are hilarious.

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/1/2012 3:03PM

    I was thinking about you a few minutes ago when I ran across cake pops! Cookies... yum. Were they the candy corn?

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Repeat performances....

Thursday, June 28, 2012

I went back through some of my old blogs from when I started. Here is one from June 2 years ago. It still applies to you and to me!

And in honor of Cellista, here you go...
Btw, I wear a 38c now....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANNIE50 6/30/2012 12:34PM

    Hey doll. It is always fun to go back and read your older blogs (you have come a long way, baby-doll, just based on bra size!). I am on an eternal quest for another good sports bra. I ordered a couple new ones, in lovely colors, that I hate. I also hate returning stuff so I need to remember to never order bras on-line. I do think, as far as regular bras go, it is a worthwhile investment to go somewhere like Nordstroms, get professionally fitted, and buy semi-expensive bras because they make such a difference in terms of comfort, and in how our clothes fit. I don't think there is a perfect bra out there - the perfect bra tends to be no bra, right? Have a bouncy weekend! emoticon

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MELLYBEANS0919 6/29/2012 11:19AM

    I hate shopping for bras and wearing them. Thankfully I got fitted last year and got 2 beautiful bras that make my boobies look good. emoticon (I still take them off right away)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/29/2012 6:51AM

    Lol! Thanks for sharing thise again = )

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CELLISTA1 6/29/2012 2:02AM

    I am honored to be honored, even in a blog about bras. Can't believe you went from a 48 to a 38. Yikes! OMG, somebody in my pilates class referred to herself in a sports bra as having a "monoboob." emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 6/29/2012 1:14AM

    Around the house I am always free and in the 1960's.


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    Have you bought a bra from Victoria's Secret yet? I was forced to browse there with one of my thinner friends and I was so annoyed that I can't fit into any of them yet. I want to wear the sexy stuff, not the giant granny bras with 4 hooks!

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and on to the next thing.....

Thursday, June 28, 2012

So I have been home for a few days now. I gained a few pounds while I was gone but it wasn't that bad. I did not track but there is always kind of a running total in my head. I made a menu for the week and it has helped to stick to it although last night our buddy wanted us to meet him for dinner and we went to our little Mexican place and that morning my brat, I mean daughter, brought doughnuts home from her work which is torture.

I'm just doing my thing every day, still have the same goals, still gonna work on it every day.

So I would like to know, what are some of your favorite things to make for a BBQ or a potluck? Everyone is coming to my house so I provide the main dish ( BBQ something) and I have a cake in my freezer that I will frost and decorate.

I wanna keep it simple and cheap. Last time everyone was here we did burgers, the time before chicken and ribs. My sister works at a burger place so I know its not her favorite but she loves hot dogs so I can do both I suppose. Then I could have turkey burger options and the Hebrew fat free hot dogs as well.

What are your 4 the of July plans?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALIPIDGIOUS 6/29/2012 9:32AM

    A delicious cucumber salad.

7 cups sliced cucumbers, peeled
1 red onion, diced
1 red or yellow bell pepper, diced
2 cups sugar
1 cup cider vinegar
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp celery seed

Combine the first three ingredients in a bowl. Combine the remaining ingredients in another bowl. Mix well. Pour over first three ingredients. Chill.

It is delicious and it tastes like summer. I have never made this for a gathering that I wasn't asked for the recipe. Just made it last weekend for my daughter's graduation party and it was the first thing gone and 3 people wanted the recipe.

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THREEE 6/28/2012 10:52PM

    i'm going to be appreciating our independence and continue to strive for my own independence from commercials and misdirected emotions that have had control over my free will which would/does choose to be healthy and eat for nutrition not for comfort and entertainment(not to say i will not enjoy my food, in fact, i am trying to eat more consciously and, thus, AM enjoying what I eat and not eating past being satisfied...

happy 4th of july emoticon

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    I feel for you! My husband is constantly bringing home doughnuts!!! I'd rather he bring those home instead of ice cream, though... that's my weakness.

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CANNIE50 6/28/2012 6:52PM

    A red/white/blue fruit plate is nice, i.e., strawberries or cherries, blueberries, apple slices. You will have so much fun. Your guests are lucky because I bet you are a fabulous hostess. You are the hostess with the mostest! What is the deal with the donuts, doll? That is just plain ol' mean, honey. Maybe you can have a donut fight! Just start pelting her with them, next time she brings them home! Okay, just kidding......sort of. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 6/28/2012 2:25PM

    My plans probably aren't good for my food, but did this last year with my daughter and had a great time. This year I asked my son to ask off from work so we could do it. Pick up a pizza or subs. Head to the beach. Spread out our blanket and wait for the fireworks. What made it awesome last year was being pretty isolated on the beach, at night, and not only enjoying the city fireworks but also all the ones the people on the beach were doing. I have never felt such a part of a big USA celebration in my life!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    My fave BBQ potluck dish is my crockpot chili - it's cheap, it's vegetarian friendly, it's easy and it's delish! It's not even bad in the SP department. People who want can put it over hotdogs or burgers - or you can just eat the chili - something for everyone.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday :)


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GRACEISENUF 6/28/2012 11:34AM

    My fav barbeque food isn't really sp friendly but it could be with a tweak of the recipe and that is potato salad. Not real adventurous I know but I like it. I also like corn on the cob as a side...slathered on butter, bad girl! :) Okay maybe I'd better shut up here.

I am hitting the road Sunday heading north all by my lil ole self. I will be gone a blissful 13 days. My two men at home have many plans to "male bond" and play hours of video games and munch on burgers, pizza and the like. I now lovingly refer to them as my two favorite Marines. I am planning on watching the fireworks over Lake Tahoe, (if I can stay awake, lol). Both my guys back home are working on the 4th.

Enjoy that family get together Jan!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYASHLEY 6/28/2012 11:30AM

    I serve flank steak and chicken skewers and both are lean meat and satisfy our whole family of picky people. Something for everyone. Then I do fruit salad, a veggie salad and one other side. I also try to do a veggie dip with popchips and quacamole with baked tortilla chips. Dessert is brownies (of course) or a mini something. Most of our family aren't big dessert eaters. I wish that included me lol.

On the third the town my brother lives in has a huge display so we are going there. On the fourth we are staying home because we can see the Boston fireworks from our deck. We are on vacation that week so very exciting. Glad you are home!

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