MAMADWARF   45,576
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Hey Batter!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

So you may know that we bake around here. Alot. My girls and I sell cake pops and other deliciousness and Valentine's Day KILLED me. It was week after week of baking and tasting and licking and nibbling. So I decided to go back to cold turkey, no added sugar, just like when I first started losing weight.

I may have a cape but even a superhero could not resist what has been happening around here. I even considered telling the girls we cannot do this anymore. Then I thought, "That is ridiculous! You are going to make your kid quit her culinary aspirations and a way to make extra money, not to mention the time together and memories you are making because you are too WEAK to stop from shoveling food in your face? NO.YOU. ARE. NOT. That is so lame!"

I took back control of my kitchen and all baking things are banished to the dining room. Kady is still baking for a few orders and is experimenting with a vegatarian chai cake.As she was making it and asking my advice about the chai and the flavoring, of course we had to taste the batter. I did with two tiny fingertips full. It was fabulous but it did not create the urge to eat more and I decided she would have to be the taster once it was baked. I told her bake it, then move it!

So I just rerganized my priorities and am finding a way to make it work.
Now I will admit that I have had a fiber one brownie when times got tough but they dont make me want to freak out and move into Willy Wonka's house so that is a reasonable thing. I also made a big fruit salad that I will eat (like I used to when I first started losing weight. Every 3 or 4 days, I made one and ate it till it was gone. Made it easier and more fun than just having an apple).

I also started thinking about BATTER which lead me to baseball. When you are the batter, you have a couple of options. You can hit what gets thrown at you and hope for the best, you can stand still and not try for it or you can swing as hard as you can and nail that ball as far as possible. You can also hit and miss but you can keep trying.

So I am gonna swing for the fences, boys and girls. I am going to hit as hard as I can with my eye on the prize, the home run, the hit that makes everyone stand up and cheer, the one that makes the haters moan but even they have to respect the hit. Yep, that is the kind of BATTER I am going to be today. That other batter has no power over me. Not today. Ain't gonna be no badder batter than me today. Now, about those hot dogs........

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ANAJAK 2/20/2012 5:11PM

    This is awesome - reorganising and prioritising - yep you got it. Batter up!

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JOMAMA99 2/20/2012 4:02PM

    Swing batter,batter,swing! You are awesome! emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 2/19/2012 10:23PM

    We have had an unlimited supply of chocolate here since Valentine's day... I think most of it is gone thanks to yours truely. Making tomorrow my batter up day! Woohooo. Look out veggies here I come. emoticon

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CANNIE50 2/19/2012 9:28PM

    Love the emoticon emoticon analogy. ALso love the idea of moving into Willy Wonka's house emoticon. I am so proud of you putting your girls ahead of the compulsion because sometimes, I would just like to go somewhere away from all temptation because I am temptation-exhausted. How can I be just as excited about cupcakes at the age of 52 as I was at the age of 2, or 12? I seem to have matured in every single area of my life except the sugary area - my first compulsion and one of the few I still struggle with. Enough about me, I just wanted to let you know I admire you.

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DIFROMWYOMING 2/19/2012 9:18PM

    Woohoo! You are doing wonderful and I think it's huge progress that you can do this and not want to move to Wonka land...I want to go there even when I'm not eating chocolate at all.
The vegetarian chai sounded interesting...very creative daughter you have there.

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BAYBELIEVER 2/19/2012 12:34PM

    See, you are getting ready for Spring training! Love this analysis and where you are heading! Hit it as hard as you can and round those bases!

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PRIMALMICHAEL 2/18/2012 5:39PM

    Oh good job! Right on!

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FANGFACEKITTY 2/18/2012 5:06PM

    Good for you! And can you share the chai cake recipe?

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DAISY443 2/18/2012 3:39PM

    Can you send me Willy's address? I'm going to move in! Hugs! emoticon

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TERRYT55 2/18/2012 3:34PM

    Excellent blog! Over that last couple of weeks I have wanted to move into Willy Wonka's house Christmas time I keep my baked goods and ingredients in the dining room too. It does help.

Thanks for a terrific blog

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/18/2012 3:21PM

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Ido love baked goods emoticon

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    Great decision on moving the baking stuff to the dining room!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/18/2012 2:27PM

    I have been debating leaving the food industry because of my inability to control myself but then like you I decided I am not going to give up my love over this. I am just going to beat the problem. I am so happy the business is going so well for all of you! Hugs

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JITZUROE 2/18/2012 2:13PM

    Batter UP!!!! Wait, I mean, batter OUT!!!!! What a great blog.
Kudos to you for not laying down the law and burning down the sugary house completely. I agree with setting some boundaries totally, but am proud of you for realizing that the change needs to starts with US first, and our behavior around food. I of course am still working on my own HUGE sugar monster issues, but I have given up on begging my hubbie to stop bringing the crud into my home, although I really do wish he would. Life would be so much easier with tha bit of edge taken off, wouldn't it?hmmm...


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CELLISTA1 2/18/2012 12:51PM

    This blog got to me - for a very different reason. The baseball metaphor suddenly reminded me of myself in 5th grade, standing terrified at home plate with a bat in my hands, posed with it over the wrong shoulder (because I didn't know how to hold it), and seeing a ball coming straight at me. I can feel it right now! I tried to swing the bat but missed, of course. Humiliating, frightening.

I found a way for myself to always be indoors, away from people who ran around and threw things. Is it any wonder that at my age I struggle with exercise?

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GRACEISENUF 2/18/2012 12:38PM

    emoticon Mama. Okay Willy Wonkas house cracked me up....I would definitely be a "sqautter" if he lived in Cali. No, no, no I wouldn't...maybe just a lil trippy once every few months. ;)

I understand the sugar thing. I once wrote a blog calling it my crack. We can do this, I know we can. I feel so much better when I resist the sugar demon.

Enjoy your weekend Mama.


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Move over, Cleopatra

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Because I am the queen! The queen of denial!

I think I have always had the ability to tune out. When things were bad in my life, I was always able to shift into neutral.....just kinda there but not. Switch off the ignition and coast as it were.

I think I developed this handy coping tool when my first husband died when I was 19. I had never had anything bad happen in my life. I had a wonderful family, an easy life. When Mark died, I had NO SKILLS to deal with that. My cure to survival was to numb myself with alcohol, drugs and (yes I will say it) sex with people whom I didnt have to care about. That worked for awhile. It was exhausing though. I was running from the pain in a very destructive way.

When I finally got tired of running, I stopped in a very dangerous place. I didnt realize it though because my brain was just waking up and by the time I did, it was too late. I was married to an abuser. This time my coping mechanism was to think I deserved it because of how bad I had behaved before. I told myself it wasnt "that bad" and he didnt do it "All the time".
When I had my daughter, something rebooted. I woke up. FULLY woke up and knew I could not allow my daughter to suffer in this sort of a life becuase I was being stupid.

SNAP. Jan came back. Just like that. This is the Jan I have always been. Tough, strong, sure of myself. I had someone to LIVE for, to provide for, to save. Someone who was soo much more "worthy" of a good life than I felt I was. I left.

I moved home with my wonderful parents, got a job and soon after, reconnected with Frank. (He was in my life since I was 14, he was my first love and his best friend was married to my sister, not to mention me being great friends with his sister too). By the time Kelly was 1, Frank was the only father she ever knew or has known.

I try very hard to be "present" in these last 25 years. I KNOW how lucky I am to have the life I do. I KNOW how much work I have put into our businesses and into our marriage. I DO feel worthy of it and I DO know I deserve to be happy.

The denial comes in when times are tough. When money is tight, I can barely look at my checkbook. It is easy to put the bills out of my mind. If things are not going well, it is easy to spend evenings online or reading, just tuned out, zoned out and then go to bed. I become only part way here, like a ghost. You can see me but not all the way. I procrasinate terribly. Like today. I finally billed some customers for work done way last week that I wont get paid for until they get billed and I really need the money. What IS that? I joked on facebook the other day that I wonder why I am a procrastinator and then said I would think about it tomorrow.

I like when things resolve themselves with no effort on my part. Maybe if I just ignore it, I will magically have lost weight this week. Maybe if I dont get on the scale, my body wont confess all the candy and chocolate and cake pops I have been eating. If I dont KNOW it, maybe it isnt true.

This is not a part of me I like. At all. It is childish, immature and highly ineffective. I have spent the last 2 years (in March) working every day on losing 70 pounds. I still have 50 to go. This denial and procrastination is NOT going to get me there.

I woke up this morning and said this is it.

I got on the scale.

Today. I am not allowing the baking etc. to go on in my kitchen. ALL baking things must be in the dining room. The kitchen is mine for making healthy dinners and snacks. (Obviously the oven can be used but then it goes inthe dining room for decorating etc).

I made a huge crock pot of soup which I had for lunch. I am going to have it cooking all week. When I want to eat something during the day, it will be vegetable soup.

I did Coach Nicole's 10 minute kickboxing this morning.

I am taking Stitch for a walk at 4, when Frank gets home.

I am making a healthy dinner.

I am going to face the things that I want to push down, to bury, to kill.

I am rowing my boat to shore and I am getting out of the river. THE NILE can go on with out me. Keep flowing, b****. You got one less person to navigate you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 2/25/2012 12:06AM

    I "Liked This BLog" on this one. emoticon emoticon

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    Oh Lordy - I completely understand how your mind works. Mine's the same way. And I wish I could figure out why...

I'm proud of you for getting off the river and taking control. And I have faith you will again be kicking ass and taking names!! Rock on my friend! :)

- Michelle

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TYKXBOY 2/16/2012 12:51PM

    You are making it happen. That's way to do it!

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KKINNEA 2/16/2012 12:04PM

    Rock it!

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BAYBELIEVER 2/16/2012 9:11AM

    Yep, I agree. You can't make this happen without making it happen! Good for you for fully waking up...again! We have to do it all the time don't we? Have a great day and thanks for sharing more of your story with me. You are even more amazing and you are right, you deserve all the good that you can make in your life! Go get 'em!

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STRIVER57 2/16/2012 2:32AM

    lots of this sounds very familiar to me too. i procrastinate like that ... and especially over financial/paperwork things. of course, i procrastinate by working mostly (but also sparking and surfing) but ... yeah, clients have this unfortunately habit of not paying til they get a bill (not always then of course, either). you've come a long away ... and will make it. emoticon

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CELLISTA1 2/15/2012 11:29PM

    There is a lot of pain and truth in this blog, Jan. I'm not sure about the procrastination, I mean I'm not sure it's all bad. For me, if I can't wrap my head around a project, sometimes I just have to leave it alone til the fog clears and then I can do it. In fact, I love the feeling when I get my brain back! But you know yourself - and if it's a problem for you, then you can address it. Denial? Yeah - I'm very familiar with that! Probably every Sparker has been there.

But you know what I like about your plan? It's got some very specific things in it, like soup! I made soup this week too: organic beef bones (for natural calcium), kale, leek, carrots, cilantro, and garlic. I have to say it's delicious!

Facing things you want to stuff down: that is the BIG one. Even knowing what those things are is hard when we've stuffed them down for so long. But I'm convinced that's the key. I wish you well! You've become so WISE!

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 2/15/2012 10:50PM

    You are amazing. That is all.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/15/2012 10:42PM

    Jan I feel like I wrote this. After my divorce I did the exact same thing. It is spooky. Someone who had lost several hundred pounds told me he used to do the same thing where he would procrastinate in all aspects of his life and it led to not paying his bills etc. He even had a room that he just took all his ex wife's stuff and threw it in there because he couldn't look at it long enough to get rid of it. When he lost the weight the thing he said was the most important to him was a schedule and everything else fell into place. I never forgot that because that is how I am too. I never learned healthy coping skills so I mostly fell into self destructive patterns and it is hard to be honest with ourselves about all of this. When I realized everyone is damaged and most people are in denial so they judge others is when I stopped caring about what other people thought of my past and was able to start taking care of myself. This blog is such a huge step and I am so very proud of you.

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    I can relate! In a big way as I am doing that right now (bills).

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    The last line of this blog cracked me up! You are resolved to do better. I'm with you, Jan!

Comment edited on: 2/15/2012 8:58:56 PM

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CANNIE50 2/15/2012 8:30PM

    Oh, lordy lordy lordy - I relate. Just yesterday, I spent several hours specifically on things I had been procrastinating about - taking my car for service (because I worried that the shimmying thing meant it need thousands in work - it should cost $200), sorting through paperwork because I hate paperwork and all the many decisions it requires (most of it ended up in recycle, and then I paid and mailed off the several small bills that were in the stack). Today I dealt with a medical bill that was hanging over my head - turns out the lab had billed it improperly to my ins co so they told me not to pay it, and that they had re-billed it to insurance. All this to say, that often when I take the procrastination beast by the horns, there is relief there. Sugar, the white snake that keeps biting me over and over - that is another story. I simply must set it completely aside - I eat sugar like I used to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, like a fool. Nothing, no substance I have ever given up including cigarettes, booze, and prescription meds, has ever been harder than sugar. It does not help that my husband brings it home - I do much better if it is not in the house. I can resist it in stores but it is so hard for me to have at home. I am in awe at how much baking you do - I would find that SO difficult. Anyway, I am sorry to make this all about me. I just related to what you said and I am so excited to see you in April. We have a LOT to talk about, honey. emoticon This blog is SO good - so good.

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GRACEISENUF 2/15/2012 6:02PM

    Okay sitting here reading your blog out loud as my hubby is listening and we both laughed out loud at the keep flowing line...hubs said, "That is pretty profound, not to mention funny".

Love u Mama..keep fighting the good fight.

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BADASSBLONDIE 2/15/2012 5:54PM

    GO you!!!!!!!!

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DAISY443 2/15/2012 5:35PM

    Welcome back, Jan! It's good to see this enthusiastic, ready to go you again! I was starting to miss you! Go!!!!

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wednesday means monday which means....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The valentines day extravagnza of baking is over. I'm so happy. I want my house back and I want the chocolate put away and I don't want the smell of cake to permeate my dreams. I am starting with a good breakfast and now I'm going to do coach Nicole's 10 minute Kickboxing routine and I have a healthy dinner planned. So here I go. I feel like I am starting over. It feels like when
You say, " I'm going to start my diet Monday".

I know I am just continuing my path but I seriously am back to my sugar addiction. Today is day 1 of cold turkey. This is how I did it when I first additional sugar, nothing baked or unwrapped or popped in my mouth. Because 1 bite is too much and is never enough. Cannie, I know you feel my pain! Have a good day, my friends!

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COLUMBINE2 2/15/2012 8:31PM

    I have the same problem. IF I have ONE bite of chocolate, I cannot stop.

I've finally learned that it's EASIER to stop the 1st bite than it will be to stop the 2nd bite. If I have a little chocolate, I am driven for more.

Soooo I drink a huge glass of water & then Get Busy & Distracted. That means get away from the kitchen & food, get deeply engaged in an activity where I can't eat (typing on the computer, knitting, a bubble bath, a shower, playing with the dog or kids outside, a walk up the mtn,,,dump out a drawer & sort & organize it. Start a load of laundry & put 25 items of clutter away (or 50....whatever it takes to get my mind off that 1st bite of chocolate.)

I've got a streak of 15 days going of not eating chocolate. It really does get easier...if you just don't take the 1st matter what!

(I couldn't make chocolate goodies like you did. Just couldn't handle it! I'd have to find some other way to meet the goal!)

Day can do it. Don't think ahead...just do Day 1. You can succeed!

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CANNIE50 2/15/2012 8:16PM

    WOw, you have my number. I am struggling, for sure. I am proud of you for facing it and moving forward. I am off to read your other blog. emoticon I am sending you hugs but this little icon also reminds me of those little candy hearts that have been kicking my arse for a couple days. aaaaaaggggghhhhhhh

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DAISY443 2/15/2012 4:07PM

    Nothing like a sugar high to bring you down to earth! Trek on, Mama!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/15/2012 3:21PM

    oh sugar!!!!!! emoticonI'll join you!

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TREASURINGLIFE 2/15/2012 12:40PM

    I'm wishing you much strength and success as you kick sugar to the curb! YOU CAN DO IT!! :)

- Michelle

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KKINNEA 2/15/2012 12:32PM

    You've got this!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/15/2012 12:21PM

    Cold turkey is the only thing that works for me too.

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 2/15/2012 12:20PM


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PJH2028 2/15/2012 12:20PM

    Oh Yes! Onward ho!


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/15/2012 12:14PM

    You can do it mama!

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GRACEISENUF 2/15/2012 12:11PM

    I am back to square one too. I have been on a three day sugar binge and feel like crap.


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Stop, drop and drool... (warning: Picture of deliciousness!)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I write so many amazing blogs! Unfortunatly, they are in my head while I am trying to go to sleep at night, then I forget in the morning.

I have been wanting to tell you and show you some stuff.
One of the things I want to show you is some of the baking items we have been making here for Valentine's Day. The girls and I are making all kinds of stuff for friends and family and the girls are making some extra cash (and I am getting paid back for buying the products but making zero profit and gaining nothing but pounds and the time spent with my daughters...sigh. It's priceless..right??).

I made these little chocolate covered cherry mice for some kids baskets we are doing....

Then we did some Jack Skellington for a birthday party....

Then there are some of these boxed cake pops as well....

Some of the flavors we have created include some Alcohol pops such as Kahlua, Malibu, and Bananas fosters which have been really popular and of course, your white, chocolate, red velvet, lemon etc.... The Almond toffee candy is all bagged up and/or given away so I am relieved it will stop calling me!!
This will all be over in a few days and I will be soooooo glad! Every lick, taste, nibble and bite is adding up and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, day after day of it.

Now, because you haven't seen Cortez in a little while, Here he is...THE BUBS! (aka Bubs, Bubby, Bubbalicious and CORTEZ-LEAVE-THE-CATS-ALONE!)

Remember last week? When I said Frank and I were going to get away for a day? Well, we did. We went to Monterey, spent the night then headed to Pismo to pick up some parts and headed home. Lots of time in the car but it was really nice to get away together, even just for the day. We will be married 22 years on the 24th of this month and he is still my best friend. I like the guy, what can I say?

When we were in Monterey, we went to the Famous Bixby Creek Bridge. My dad wanted his ashes spread there. He lived in Pacific Grove most of his life and that was a special place for him. He passed away on Valentine's day in 2006. Which was kinda fitting because he loved my mom so much and he was so miserable without her (she died in 1994) so it was fitting that he died on that day, to go be with the love of his life. Someone asked me if it made me sad he died on that day but it doesn't. It was pretty perfect actually. So anyway, I went to the Bridge and said hello to him. It was the most gorgeous day as you can see.

I hope you guys are all doing well and I will be back to serious Sparking again in a day or two. I feel like I am a little adrift right now but you are keeping me tethered and I thank you so much for hanging on to me and reaching out. You are my lifeline and are all that stands between me and binges sometimes. Sugar detox coming up really, really soon! I have a few really special friends here and it looks like a few of us may meet up in April. I am pretty stoked about that! There are still a few of my sparkies that I know I will meet someday but it will most likely involve an east coast trip... Something to look forward to, right? Even if I never face to face meet anyone, you have changed my life and I value our friendship so much.

Love, Jan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 2/18/2012 6:33PM

    Dittos on the "lifeline" aspect of Sparking; even tho I'm making very little progress it's good to not feel so terribly alone in my quest...

Beautiful photos! Love the bridge, reminds me of No Hands bridge a few mi from Tevis finish.


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JOMAMA99 2/13/2012 4:10PM

    I am glad I don't have to deal with all that yummy looking temptation, I would be flying on such a sugar high! The treats do look awesome! I love your dog of many names, he is so huggable! Have a great V day and anniversary!

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    GREAT pics! The treats look amazing, Cortez is absolutely adorable and the pics of Monterey are breathtaking!

- Michelle

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CANNIE50 2/11/2012 9:14PM

    Love the photos and I really love reading about the true love stories in your family - you and your girls, you and Frank, your mom&dad - loveliness. Okay, that puppy sort of makes me drool even more than the sugary treats - that is my dream dog, you know (shhhh, don't tell my emoticon). I am SO excited about April. PS THat is a great picture of you.

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TURTLERASKIN 2/11/2012 2:56PM

    Great pix! I also love that part of the coast, and that bridge particularly. Hang in there -- Valentine's will be over soon, and then we get a break until Easter!

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MYOWNHERO 2/11/2012 1:00PM

    You're right...I'm drooling!

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LESLIES537 2/11/2012 12:54PM

    I've got chills! I love that your dad rushed on over on vday to see your mom! Such a wonderful story of love and devotion! Beautiful pictures, too--what a gorgeous place you have to go and visit him! emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 2/11/2012 12:53PM

    Thanks for sharing the pics...yummy looking stuff, you and your girls are very talented.. (my willpower would be shot for sure).

Cortez is growing up cute.

Hope we meet one day too. Funny, we share the same birthday and you and Frank have been married 22 years (just like us, married in 89). DH and I spent 4 days in Pismo a few weeks ago. I just got back from some time at Bass was AMAZING. I got in over 30 miles walking/hiking and even managed to knock off two pounds. I cooked really healthy stuff for myself and felt so great that I didn't go off track cuz I was on vacay. A "first" for me!

Happy Valentines Day to you and your man!


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DANCINGJILL 2/11/2012 12:53PM

    The treats you made look super tasty!!! Not to mention they are so adorable! Congrats on your anniversary, 22 years is incredible!!

My grandfather passed away on Valentine's day in 2008. So that day usually leaves me with a heavy heart. But I am glad that you have found peace with your fathers passing that day.

Beautiful pictures, there is nothing more amazing than nature. And of course your sweet puppy.

Hope you had a nice trip!

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CELLISTA1 2/11/2012 12:20PM

    That was a big drive for one day! You know I drove Hwy 1 just before New Year's. So magnificent. A wonderful place for you to remember your dad.

So - I hope you know I am also one of those who cheers you on. You are a multi-faceted person with ups and downs like everyone else. You've overcome many things, so if you want to lose more weight, you will -- when the time is right.


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KKINNEA 2/11/2012 9:45AM

    The treats look great and love the fabulous pictures from where you scattered your dad's ashes.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/11/2012 9:38AM

    We shall meet one day! No doubt. The mice and skeletons are so cute! I had a dog that thought his name was "Shorty-damnit" because he was crazy and always breaking things. I am finding my way back and I know you can too. I will always be here for you. You are an amazing friend.

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DAISY443 2/11/2012 5:20AM

    You are so amazing! Beautiful, talented and entertaining! Who could ask for a better friend!

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FITANDFIFTY2 2/11/2012 2:51AM

    The little mice candies are so adorable!! I love the pics as well...beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Spark Friend! emoticon

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MJ7DM33 2/11/2012 2:14AM

  Great pics! Thanks for sharing!

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can i just be happy?

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

That is what my sister asked me today. She told me she went into buy dog food today and picked up a 40 pound bag. She said to herself, my god, Jan has lost almost 2 of these! I remember when I lost the first 20 then 35 pounds and I took pix with the bags of dog food. So anyway, we started talking about it and she asked if I could just be happy with the 70 pounds I have lost. My answer? No. I can't. It is not what I set out to do. I set out to lose 111 pounds. I set out to weigh less than my husband. I set out to get below 200 pounds. I have not achieved that. I have lost a lot of weight. I am really happy with that. But I really have not lost any real weight since July. I am happy I can maintain this weight loss. But I am not done yet. I am not happy with with this, with me, where I am. So I gotta do something about this. It is a lot to think about . It makes me want to eat. Isn't that weird? In complete opposition to my goals, my stomach is growling and my mouth wants pringles. Why is this so complicated? I know one thing....I'm gonna get happy and I am not giving up. Because I am not done. And this is not over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BADASSBLONDIE 2/15/2012 3:07PM

    GO YOUUUU!!!!!!

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GRACEISENUF 2/10/2012 10:05PM

    I am not done either...LET'S GET THIS DONE.....NOW!

and so can I.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOONBIRD 2/9/2012 11:35AM

    You can do this! I haven't lost much weight since around November, and I am also glad I can maintain, but I also want to be under 200. I want to be at a healthier weight. This is such a mental struggle, so I am doing my best to keep a good attitude each day and plan my meals. I find that when I just randomly eat, I don't do as well with staying in my range. I want t his to be the year I reach my goal.

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SLFRISBEY 2/9/2012 9:47AM

    Oh Mama, I know how you feel! I feel stalled and stuck and don't know how to move forward. I am still +5 from my lowest this summer and it's no where close to my goal. Keep trying and keep making progress. Together we can get under 200 and beat this. I know alot of it is psychological, why I eat when I am sad or stressed or whatever. Not sure how to beat it though. Let's do this together, I KNOW we can!

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KKINNEA 2/8/2012 3:30PM

    You've got this!

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HEYBUTT 2/8/2012 12:10PM

    Yeah, you can be "happy" with what you've accomplished but that doesn't mean you SETTLE for less than you really want.

That applies to any aspect of your life, not merely weight loss.

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BAYBELIEVER 2/8/2012 9:53AM

    Jan, Be happy with what you have accomplished! Don't be satisfied. Know that there is still work you want to do. But know that you are awesome for what you have done already too! Way to go!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/8/2012 9:27AM

    And you WILL achieve all of your goals! Onward! emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/8/2012 8:38AM

    You can totally do this! Just stay as positive and determined as you've always been and you WILL get to your goals!

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    Oh man, I wish I knew why it had to be so complicated. That would be great! Unfortunately I don't. I don't know why it's so complicated, why it's so hard, why it's so time consuming, why we fight ourselves, why our minds work against us. All I know is that if we're going to be successful we have to never, ever, ever, ever give up. And we aren't - so then it's just a matter of time before we do achieve all we've set out to achieve. It ain't easy - but it's worth it. So...LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

- Michelle

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 2/8/2012 7:41AM

    I love you being so voracious. I, on the other hand, have learned I would kill to be back where I was. So on your way down, be HAPPY with where you are (take if from me!) I am so very very proud of you!

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EMMANYC 2/8/2012 6:43AM

    What about being "happy", because your weight loss is a major achievement, even if you're not "satisfied" yet?

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DAISY443 2/8/2012 4:25AM

    You've come a long way, baby! Time to sit back and remember how you got to those 70 and try the same things to kick start the next stage! Baby steps and then giant strides! Go!

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PJH2028 2/8/2012 12:12AM

    I know! Isn't it insane the way thinking about losing weight can trigger unhungry hungry? I've been asking my self whether or not the weight loss achieved is enough, too. Truthfully, it's not. Truthfully, I want to lose more. The next question is what am I willing to do to make that happen? And then what is my plan of action? Will I go back to what I was doing before my UC flare/drama? Or is there a variation on the theme that needs to be mapped and declared. You know... the GOALS, the COLLAGES.... the launch pads. I think that's what I want to do. Start anew. Hmmm. Love you, Jan. P

ps. Oh.. yes... And .. .Let's (not just, but really) Be Happy Too.

Comment edited on: 2/8/2012 12:13:19 AM

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COLUMBINE2 2/7/2012 11:52PM

    You can do it....and you will be so happy when you do!!! You have accomplished so's true...and it's true you'll reach your goal...and love your new body!

I still have weight to lose, but here are some new joys I've experienced & LOVE!

Able to tie a shoelace or put on a snowshoe without getting exhausted.
Fitting into chairs is such a happy feeling!
Not clamoring over other people to get to the back row when it's "photo time!" Not almost having a heart attack because I might have to sit in the middle of the backseat with 2 other people!!!

Determination is your middle name...look at what you've already achieved...and how many new skills you now possess to reach your goal! Watch she comes heading for those goals!

It takes so much pressure off

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PCASEY7 2/7/2012 11:40PM

    Great job so far and it sounds like you're ready for some more success down the road!

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TRIPLEL1977 2/7/2012 11:38PM

    Way to go! Stick to your guns! Determination and persistence, will pay off. This is a lifelong journey. Congrats on the weight you have lost so far. I just want to lose a little more than one bag, but I just started my journey again. Good luck

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    You can do this girl! You've got many more goals to reach!

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SUNSHINE99999 2/7/2012 11:19PM

  Good for you and keep a positive attitude.

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