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the last few days

Friday, February 24, 2012

I want to start with today. Frank and I went to Monterey to celebrate our anniversary which is actually tomorrow but today was the day we could get away so we went and ate deli sandwiches on the beach, then fell asleep in the sun and then walked and the. Had a super delicious dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. He had stuffed lobster, crab and prawns and I had broiled halbiut and prawns with veggies and garlic mashed potatoes with a light lemon sauce on the fish...omg. it was so yummy. We went to celebrate and to relax because we have had a few very stressful days which is because.....( and I understand some of you won't get this and why its a big deal but if you know me, you know)

We found a lump on stitchy. They did a needle biopsy and it shows signs of cancer. It is on her flank and is a very rapid growth. My vet wants 1600.00 to remove it which I think is extreme. Anyway, we took her somewhere else today and they will do it for 700.00! So she will have surgery on Monday and then of course we won't know anything for a few days but I am believing she will be fine. She is only 8 years old and she is just really special to me. I can't explain it. She just grabbed my heart as a small abused puppy and I have been nuts over her ever since. She is a huge part of my motivation to lose weight and she is the one who keeps me moving walking her almost every night with frank.

I know some might say she is just a dog. Some might say she has already lived a good life. Some might say that it is too much money to spend on a dog. I will tell you one thing, I won't let her suffer but I will do what I can to heal her. And she is ....well she isn't everything to me. But she's close.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMIN2GENES 2/26/2012 8:47PM

    Happy Anniversary! Sounds like a great day. Glad you were able to decompress and enjoy yourself a little.

Sending happy thoughts and prayers for Stitchy. I get it. Hope Stitchy comes through with flying colors and heals quickly.
Chris
emoticon

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COLUMBINE2 2/24/2012 11:03PM

    So glad you had a special anniversary..it's important to take time for these really important dates.

We were in Monterey in Dec.---beautiful! Loved it!

I'm sorry to hear about your much-loved dog's illness. We'll keep fingers crossed and send tons of good energy to the vet, Stitchy and her devoted "mom". Pets are like family....please keep us posted as we're awaiting great news! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/24/2012 11:04:33 PM

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CANNIE50 2/24/2012 9:47PM

    I am so glad you and Frank had a wonderful anniversary celebration (and your description of the meal was mouth-watering, by the way). No need to explain about your dear Stitchy - one look at the photo on your background says it all. That is one loved and lovable dog. I am thinking of you and wishing you all well.

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ENDUROVET 2/24/2012 4:17PM

    Wow, if it weren't for good caring folks like you, I wouldn't have a CAREER! (so nevermind on this "only a dog" nonsense!)

Please keep us posted on final diagnosis & be aware I'm available for unofficial consultation (my motto: "Dumb looks are still free!" ;-)

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GETFIT2LIVE 2/24/2012 3:36PM

    Happy anniversary--and I totally understand how you feel about Stitchy. How wonderful to find a vet who can remove it for a more reasonable amount; I'll be praying that all goes well and you will be able to enjoy many more years together.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/24/2012 2:42PM

    HUGS!!!!!!!! What a good woman you are! emoticon


Also Happy Anniversary!!! emoticon

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KKINNEA 2/24/2012 2:33PM

    Good times and tough times - hope the surgery will be successful and your dog will be feeling better soon!

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TURTLERASKIN 2/24/2012 1:25PM

    Having gone through pet emergencies before, anyone who says, "she's just a dog," is someone who doesn't know how pets stitch (heh) themselves into our hearts. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and Stitchy.

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BADASSBLONDIE 2/24/2012 1:24PM

    I am so glad you and your husband got to get away. Especially at this time. *hugshard* I am so so so sorry about Stitchy. Screw people who don't get it. *hugshard* You and Stitchy are in my thoughts.

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FANGFACEKITTY 2/24/2012 1:14PM

    For those of us who have pets there is no "just a xxx". They are members of our family and I fully understand why you are doing it. How could you not? Our pets have only us to take care of them. I hope Stitchy does well and everything heals fast and easily.

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GRACEISENUF 2/24/2012 12:15PM

    Happy Anniversary!

I understand your love for Stitchy...my dog is part of the family too.

emoticon for Stitchy.

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BAYBELIEVER 2/24/2012 10:48AM

    I will be praying for you and Stitchy. Just a dog? No way!

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SLFRISBEY 2/24/2012 10:44AM

    Good Luck with your (fur)baby's surgery. I know how you feel about your pup is how I feel about my two beasts. They get in to your heart and fill it with love :) (((hugs)))

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DEE0973 2/24/2012 10:39AM

    Happy Anniversary and I'm glad you guys hada wonderful time. I'm also very sorry to hear about your beloved pet.

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TREASURINGLIFE 2/24/2012 7:21AM

    Oh goodness Jan, I hope she's okay! I absolutely understand how amazingly precious she is to you and how you'll do anything you can to heal her. And I'll be praying she's healed!!! (((HUGS))) to you.

- Michelle

PS - Happy anniversary! You do know that your relationship with Frank completely inspires me and gives me hope, so keep the stories of your love and good times coming! I need them. ;)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/24/2012 7:17AM

    Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry. She's not just a dog, she's family. I'm hoping everything works out. *HUGS* Happy Anniversary, I'm glad you had such a great time!

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DAISY443 2/24/2012 5:37AM

    I understand completely. In a way, once our children are grown, these wonderful creatures become like children to us. Please keep us informed on how she is doing. Hugs!

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CELLISTA1 2/24/2012 1:36AM

    Years ago when I was a teacher, I heard some little kids talking about animals. Someone said, "If we eat cows and sheep, how come we don't eat dogs and cats?" And this one little girl said, "Because dogs are HUMAN BEINGS!"

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ANAJAK 2/24/2012 12:45AM

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm glad you care enough to give her the best chance and the quality of life she deserves!

I am glad you had a nice anniversary!!

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TERRYT55 2/24/2012 12:42AM

    She is NOT just a dog.....she is a part of your family. I know no suffering will be involved, just loving care. You are blessed to have her and she is blessed to be part of your life. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Happy Anniversary! Sounds like you had a fabulous day. How many years?

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I really want to know

Monday, February 20, 2012

What is your astrological sign. I'm a Libra. A very typical Libra. I would really like to hear what you are...it helps me understand people a little better. Let's hear it!





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 2/24/2012 4:19PM

    2/19/64 - on some charts, I'm a Pisces but on others, Aquarius.

I seem to have more Piscean traits so that's what I call myself


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GRACEISENUF 2/22/2012 12:56PM

    Born same day as you Mama. :)

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CALIKIKI 2/21/2012 5:28PM

    Leo.

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CANNIE50 2/21/2012 3:57PM

    Cancer, the Crab

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BADASSBLONDIE 2/21/2012 12:33PM

    Aquarius.

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ADZY86 2/21/2012 8:46AM

    I'm a Scorpio...but I'm apparently a textbook Libra! I can't remember what the exact traits are though!

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TREASURINGLIFE 2/21/2012 8:10AM

    I'm a Capricorn.

- Michelle

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MADEMCHE 2/21/2012 7:27AM

    I am a Cancer, with Gemini leanings but many Cancerian privacy traits.

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CALIPIDGIOUS 2/20/2012 6:48PM

    Libra as well! Struggle to make a decision as if everything was life changing and I have a terrible side seeing just one side of an issue.

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CELLISTA1 2/20/2012 6:29PM

    Gemini. There's two people inside fighting it out.

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COOPAH 2/20/2012 6:03PM

    Aquarius rockin the boat here...textbook it seems

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WATCHMEGO2 2/20/2012 5:42PM

    Libra here too!

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FANGFACEKITTY 2/20/2012 5:19PM

    I am a Libra. I took a "brain test" once, which was supposed to tell you if you are more right or left brained and my results were consistently pretty much exactly balanced between right/left and front/back. Meaning I tested as the perfect Libra, and I do think I fit the sign pretty well. I try to be balanced and see both sides of the issue and I waver between logic and creative views.

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TERRYT55 2/20/2012 5:05PM

    I'm a Leo.......I have no idea about a Leo's personality profile.

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DAISY443 2/20/2012 4:45PM

    What would you guess about me?


Textbook Libra!

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DIFROMWYOMING 2/20/2012 4:33PM

    I'm an Aries....

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JOMAMA99 2/20/2012 3:58PM

    I am a text book Virgo

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BAYBELIEVER 2/20/2012 3:51PM

    Scorpio! I love me some water!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/20/2012 3:07PM

    Sagittarius on the cusp of Capricorn, and I have traits of both signs.

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SLIMGOODY160 2/20/2012 3:00PM

    Scorpio emoticon

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PRIMALMICHAEL 2/20/2012 2:51PM

    Chinese astrology - I'm a Metal Dog.

(Aquarius on the more common Sun Sign astrology chart - I like Dog better because some of those Aquarian traits just aren't me.)

Michael

Comment edited on: 2/20/2012 2:52:14 PM

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NYMERIAV 2/20/2012 2:49PM

    I'm a Scorpio... and I match the personality profile almost exactly, much to my husband's amusement and chagrin.

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CHANGINGSAM 2/20/2012 2:46PM

    Aries.

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BECKYB73 2/20/2012 2:42PM

    Libra all the way

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MELLYBEANS0919 2/20/2012 2:21PM

    Virgo.
A lot of the character traits listed describe me pretty well.

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TADTURC 2/20/2012 2:16PM

    Scorpio without a doubt

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ANAJAK 2/20/2012 2:00PM

    Hehe I like this!

I am a Cancer but am more of a Leo in traits - I was born prem so I reckon I should be a Leo haha!!!



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TEENY_BIKINI 2/20/2012 1:55PM

    Leo

emoticon

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CHELEMIA 2/20/2012 1:54PM

    Cancer, I am a true crab.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/20/2012 1:49PM

    All Bull here emoticon

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SLFRISBEY 2/20/2012 1:43PM

    I am a scorpio but I don't think I have ANY of the traits associated with it :)

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KKINNEA 2/20/2012 12:54PM

    Stubborn Capricorn goat

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/20/2012 12:49PM

    A very typical sagittarius

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Hey Batter!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

So you may know that we bake around here. Alot. My girls and I sell cake pops and other deliciousness and Valentine's Day KILLED me. It was week after week of baking and tasting and licking and nibbling. So I decided to go back to cold turkey, no added sugar, just like when I first started losing weight.


I may have a cape but even a superhero could not resist what has been happening around here. I even considered telling the girls we cannot do this anymore. Then I thought, "That is ridiculous! You are going to make your kid quit her culinary aspirations and a way to make extra money, not to mention the time together and memories you are making because you are too WEAK to stop from shoveling food in your face? NO.YOU. ARE. NOT. That is so lame!"

I took back control of my kitchen and all baking things are banished to the dining room. Kady is still baking for a few orders and is experimenting with a vegatarian chai cake.As she was making it and asking my advice about the chai and the flavoring, of course we had to taste the batter. I did with two tiny fingertips full. It was fabulous but it did not create the urge to eat more and I decided she would have to be the taster once it was baked. I told her bake it, then move it!


So I just rerganized my priorities and am finding a way to make it work.
Now I will admit that I have had a fiber one brownie when times got tough but they dont make me want to freak out and move into Willy Wonka's house so that is a reasonable thing. I also made a big fruit salad that I will eat (like I used to when I first started losing weight. Every 3 or 4 days, I made one and ate it till it was gone. Made it easier and more fun than just having an apple).

I also started thinking about BATTER which lead me to baseball. When you are the batter, you have a couple of options. You can hit what gets thrown at you and hope for the best, you can stand still and not try for it or you can swing as hard as you can and nail that ball as far as possible. You can also hit and miss but you can keep trying.

So I am gonna swing for the fences, boys and girls. I am going to hit as hard as I can with my eye on the prize, the home run, the hit that makes everyone stand up and cheer, the one that makes the haters moan but even they have to respect the hit. Yep, that is the kind of BATTER I am going to be today. That other batter has no power over me. Not today. Ain't gonna be no badder batter than me today. Now, about those hot dogs........

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TREASURINGLIFE 2/21/2012 8:10AM

    :)

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ANAJAK 2/20/2012 5:11PM

    This is awesome - reorganising and prioritising - yep you got it. Batter up!

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JOMAMA99 2/20/2012 4:02PM

    Swing batter,batter,swing! You are awesome! emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 2/19/2012 10:23PM

    We have had an unlimited supply of chocolate here since Valentine's day... I think most of it is gone thanks to yours truely. Making tomorrow my batter up day! Woohooo. Look out veggies here I come. emoticon

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CANNIE50 2/19/2012 9:28PM

    Love the emoticon emoticon analogy. ALso love the idea of moving into Willy Wonka's house emoticon. I am so proud of you putting your girls ahead of the compulsion because sometimes, I would just like to go somewhere away from all temptation because I am temptation-exhausted. How can I be just as excited about cupcakes at the age of 52 as I was at the age of 2, or 12? I seem to have matured in every single area of my life except the sugary area - my first compulsion and one of the few I still struggle with. Enough about me, I just wanted to let you know I admire you.

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DIFROMWYOMING 2/19/2012 9:18PM

    Woohoo! You are doing wonderful and I think it's huge progress that you can do this and not want to move to Wonka land...I want to go there even when I'm not eating chocolate at all.
The vegetarian chai sounded interesting...very creative daughter you have there.

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BAYBELIEVER 2/19/2012 12:34PM

    See, you are getting ready for Spring training! Love this analysis and where you are heading! Hit it as hard as you can and round those bases!

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PRIMALMICHAEL 2/18/2012 5:39PM

    Oh good job! Right on!

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FANGFACEKITTY 2/18/2012 5:06PM

    Good for you! And can you share the chai cake recipe?

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DAISY443 2/18/2012 3:39PM

    Can you send me Willy's address? I'm going to move in! Hugs! emoticon

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TERRYT55 2/18/2012 3:34PM

    Excellent blog! Over that last couple of weeks I have wanted to move into Willy Wonka's house myself.......at Christmas time I keep my baked goods and ingredients in the dining room too. It does help.

Thanks for a terrific blog



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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/18/2012 3:21PM

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Ido love baked goods emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 2/18/2012 2:30PM

    Great decision on moving the baking stuff to the dining room!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/18/2012 2:27PM

    I have been debating leaving the food industry because of my inability to control myself but then like you I decided I am not going to give up my love over this. I am just going to beat the problem. I am so happy the business is going so well for all of you! Hugs


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JITZUROE 2/18/2012 2:13PM

    Batter UP!!!! Wait, I mean, batter OUT!!!!! What a great blog.
Kudos to you for not laying down the law and burning down the sugary house completely. I agree with setting some boundaries totally, but am proud of you for realizing that the change needs to starts with US first, and our behavior around food. I of course am still working on my own HUGE sugar monster issues, but I have given up on begging my hubbie to stop bringing the crud into my home, although I really do wish he would. Life would be so much easier with tha bit of edge taken off, wouldn't it?hmmm...

Bren


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CELLISTA1 2/18/2012 12:51PM

    This blog got to me - for a very different reason. The baseball metaphor suddenly reminded me of myself in 5th grade, standing terrified at home plate with a bat in my hands, posed with it over the wrong shoulder (because I didn't know how to hold it), and seeing a ball coming straight at me. I can feel it right now! I tried to swing the bat but missed, of course. Humiliating, frightening.

I found a way for myself to always be indoors, away from people who ran around and threw things. Is it any wonder that at my age I struggle with exercise?

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GRACEISENUF 2/18/2012 12:38PM

    emoticon Mama. Okay Willy Wonkas house cracked me up....I would definitely be a "sqautter" if he lived in Cali. No, no, no I wouldn't...maybe just a lil trippy once every few months. ;)

I understand the sugar thing. I once wrote a blog calling it my crack. We can do this, I know we can. I feel so much better when I resist the sugar demon.

Enjoy your weekend Mama.

emoticon

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Move over, Cleopatra

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Because I am the queen! The queen of denial!

I think I have always had the ability to tune out. When things were bad in my life, I was always able to shift into neutral.....just kinda there but not. Switch off the ignition and coast as it were.

I think I developed this handy coping tool when my first husband died when I was 19. I had never had anything bad happen in my life. I had a wonderful family, an easy life. When Mark died, I had NO SKILLS to deal with that. My cure to survival was to numb myself with alcohol, drugs and (yes I will say it) sex with people whom I didnt have to care about. That worked for awhile. It was exhausing though. I was running from the pain in a very destructive way.

When I finally got tired of running, I stopped in a very dangerous place. I didnt realize it though because my brain was just waking up and by the time I did, it was too late. I was married to an abuser. This time my coping mechanism was to think I deserved it because of how bad I had behaved before. I told myself it wasnt "that bad" and he didnt do it "All the time".
When I had my daughter, something rebooted. I woke up. FULLY woke up and knew I could not allow my daughter to suffer in this sort of a life becuase I was being stupid.

SNAP. Jan came back. Just like that. This is the Jan I have always been. Tough, strong, sure of myself. I had someone to LIVE for, to provide for, to save. Someone who was soo much more "worthy" of a good life than I felt I was. I left.

I moved home with my wonderful parents, got a job and soon after, reconnected with Frank. (He was in my life since I was 14, he was my first love and his best friend was married to my sister, not to mention me being great friends with his sister too). By the time Kelly was 1, Frank was the only father she ever knew or has known.

I try very hard to be "present" in these last 25 years. I KNOW how lucky I am to have the life I do. I KNOW how much work I have put into our businesses and into our marriage. I DO feel worthy of it and I DO know I deserve to be happy.

The denial comes in when times are tough. When money is tight, I can barely look at my checkbook. It is easy to put the bills out of my mind. If things are not going well, it is easy to spend evenings online or reading, just tuned out, zoned out and then go to bed. I become only part way here, like a ghost. You can see me but not all the way. I procrasinate terribly. Like today. I finally billed some customers for work done way last week that I wont get paid for until they get billed and I really need the money. What IS that? I joked on facebook the other day that I wonder why I am a procrastinator and then said I would think about it tomorrow.

I like when things resolve themselves with no effort on my part. Maybe if I just ignore it, I will magically have lost weight this week. Maybe if I dont get on the scale, my body wont confess all the candy and chocolate and cake pops I have been eating. If I dont KNOW it, maybe it isnt true.

This is not a part of me I like. At all. It is childish, immature and highly ineffective. I have spent the last 2 years (in March) working every day on losing 70 pounds. I still have 50 to go. This denial and procrastination is NOT going to get me there.

I woke up this morning and said this is it.

I got on the scale.

Today. I am not allowing the baking etc. to go on in my kitchen. ALL baking things must be in the dining room. The kitchen is mine for making healthy dinners and snacks. (Obviously the oven can be used but then it goes inthe dining room for decorating etc).

I made a huge crock pot of soup which I had for lunch. I am going to have it cooking all week. When I want to eat something during the day, it will be vegetable soup.

I did Coach Nicole's 10 minute kickboxing this morning.

I am taking Stitch for a walk at 4, when Frank gets home.

I am making a healthy dinner.

I am going to face the things that I want to push down, to bury, to kill.

I am rowing my boat to shore and I am getting out of the river. THE NILE can go on with out me. Keep flowing, b****. You got one less person to navigate you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 2/25/2012 12:06AM

    I "Liked This BLog" on this one. emoticon emoticon

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TREASURINGLIFE 2/17/2012 8:45AM

    Oh Lordy - I completely understand how your mind works. Mine's the same way. And I wish I could figure out why...

I'm proud of you for getting off the river and taking control. And I have faith you will again be kicking ass and taking names!! Rock on my friend! :)

- Michelle

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TYKXBOY 2/16/2012 12:51PM

    You are making it happen. That's way to do it!
emoticon

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KKINNEA 2/16/2012 12:04PM

    Rock it!

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BAYBELIEVER 2/16/2012 9:11AM

    Yep, I agree. You can't make this happen without making it happen! Good for you for fully waking up...again! We have to do it all the time don't we? Have a great day and thanks for sharing more of your story with me. You are even more amazing and you are right, you deserve all the good that you can make in your life! Go get 'em!


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STRIVER57 2/16/2012 2:32AM

    lots of this sounds very familiar to me too. i procrastinate like that ... and especially over financial/paperwork things. of course, i procrastinate by working mostly (but also sparking and surfing) but ... yeah, clients have this unfortunately habit of not paying til they get a bill (not always then of course, either). you've come a long away ... and will make it. emoticon

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CELLISTA1 2/15/2012 11:29PM

    There is a lot of pain and truth in this blog, Jan. I'm not sure about the procrastination, I mean I'm not sure it's all bad. For me, if I can't wrap my head around a project, sometimes I just have to leave it alone til the fog clears and then I can do it. In fact, I love the feeling when I get my brain back! But you know yourself - and if it's a problem for you, then you can address it. Denial? Yeah - I'm very familiar with that! Probably every Sparker has been there.

But you know what I like about your plan? It's got some very specific things in it, like soup! I made soup this week too: organic beef bones (for natural calcium), kale, leek, carrots, cilantro, and garlic. I have to say it's delicious!

Facing things you want to stuff down: that is the BIG one. Even knowing what those things are is hard when we've stuffed them down for so long. But I'm convinced that's the key. I wish you well! You've become so WISE!
emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 2/15/2012 10:50PM

    You are amazing. That is all.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/15/2012 10:42PM

    Jan I feel like I wrote this. After my divorce I did the exact same thing. It is spooky. Someone who had lost several hundred pounds told me he used to do the same thing where he would procrastinate in all aspects of his life and it led to not paying his bills etc. He even had a room that he just took all his ex wife's stuff and threw it in there because he couldn't look at it long enough to get rid of it. When he lost the weight the thing he said was the most important to him was a schedule and everything else fell into place. I never forgot that because that is how I am too. I never learned healthy coping skills so I mostly fell into self destructive patterns and it is hard to be honest with ourselves about all of this. When I realized everyone is damaged and most people are in denial so they judge others is when I stopped caring about what other people thought of my past and was able to start taking care of myself. This blog is such a huge step and I am so very proud of you.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 2/15/2012 9:05PM

    I can relate! In a big way as I am doing that right now (bills).



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MUSICALLYMINDED 2/15/2012 8:57PM

    The last line of this blog cracked me up! You are resolved to do better. I'm with you, Jan!

Comment edited on: 2/15/2012 8:58:56 PM

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CANNIE50 2/15/2012 8:30PM

    Oh, lordy lordy lordy - I relate. Just yesterday, I spent several hours specifically on things I had been procrastinating about - taking my car for service (because I worried that the shimmying thing meant it need thousands in work - it should cost $200), sorting through paperwork because I hate paperwork and all the many decisions it requires (most of it ended up in recycle, and then I paid and mailed off the several small bills that were in the stack). Today I dealt with a medical bill that was hanging over my head - turns out the lab had billed it improperly to my ins co so they told me not to pay it, and that they had re-billed it to insurance. All this to say, that often when I take the procrastination beast by the horns, there is relief there. Sugar, the white snake that keeps biting me over and over - that is another story. I simply must set it completely aside - I eat sugar like I used to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, like a fool. Nothing, no substance I have ever given up including cigarettes, booze, and prescription meds, has ever been harder than sugar. It does not help that my husband brings it home - I do much better if it is not in the house. I can resist it in stores but it is so hard for me to have at home. I am in awe at how much baking you do - I would find that SO difficult. Anyway, I am sorry to make this all about me. I just related to what you said and I am so excited to see you in April. We have a LOT to talk about, honey. emoticon This blog is SO good - so good.

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GRACEISENUF 2/15/2012 6:02PM

    Okay sitting here reading your blog out loud as my hubby is listening and we both laughed out loud at the keep flowing line...hubs said, "That is pretty profound, not to mention funny".

Love u Mama..keep fighting the good fight.



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BADASSBLONDIE 2/15/2012 5:54PM

    GO you!!!!!!!!

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DAISY443 2/15/2012 5:35PM

    Welcome back, Jan! It's good to see this enthusiastic, ready to go you again! I was starting to miss you! Go!!!!

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wednesday means monday which means....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The valentines day extravagnza of baking is over. I'm so happy. I want my house back and I want the chocolate put away and I don't want the smell of cake to permeate my dreams. I am starting with a good breakfast and now I'm going to do coach Nicole's 10 minute Kickboxing routine and I have a healthy dinner planned. So here I go. I feel like I am starting over. It feels like when
You say, " I'm going to start my diet Monday".

I know I am just continuing my path but I seriously am back to my sugar addiction. Today is day 1 of cold turkey. This is how I did it when I first started...no additional sugar, nothing baked or unwrapped or popped in my mouth. Because 1 bite is too much and is never enough. Cannie, I know you feel my pain! Have a good day, my friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COLUMBINE2 2/15/2012 8:31PM

    I have the same problem. IF I have ONE bite of chocolate, I cannot stop.

I've finally learned that it's EASIER to stop the 1st bite than it will be to stop the 2nd bite. If I have a little chocolate, I am driven for more.

Soooo I drink a huge glass of water & then Get Busy & Distracted. That means get away from the kitchen & food, get deeply engaged in an activity where I can't eat (typing on the computer, knitting, a bubble bath, a shower, playing with the dog or kids outside, a walk up the mtn,,,dump out a drawer & sort & organize it. Start a load of laundry & put 25 items of clutter away (or 50....whatever it takes to get my mind off that 1st bite of chocolate.)

I've got a streak of 15 days going of not eating chocolate. It really does get easier...if you just don't take the 1st bite...no matter what!

(I couldn't make chocolate goodies like you did. Just couldn't handle it! I'd have to find some other way to meet the goal!)

Day 1...you can do it. Don't think ahead...just do Day 1. You can succeed!



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CANNIE50 2/15/2012 8:16PM

    WOw, you have my number. I am struggling, for sure. I am proud of you for facing it and moving forward. I am off to read your other blog. emoticon I am sending you hugs but this little icon also reminds me of those little candy hearts that have been kicking my arse for a couple days. aaaaaaggggghhhhhhh

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DAISY443 2/15/2012 4:07PM

    Nothing like a sugar high to bring you down to earth! Trek on, Mama!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/15/2012 3:21PM

    oh sugar!!!!!! emoticonI'll join you!

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TREASURINGLIFE 2/15/2012 12:40PM

    I'm wishing you much strength and success as you kick sugar to the curb! YOU CAN DO IT!! :)

- Michelle

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KKINNEA 2/15/2012 12:32PM

    You've got this!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/15/2012 12:21PM

    Cold turkey is the only thing that works for me too.

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 2/15/2012 12:20PM

    emoticon

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PJH2028 2/15/2012 12:20PM

    Oh Yes! Onward ho!

xop

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 2/15/2012 12:14PM

    You can do it mama!

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GRACEISENUF 2/15/2012 12:11PM

    I am back to square one too. I have been on a three day sugar binge and feel like crap.

WE GOT THIS.

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