wednesday means monday which means....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The valentines day extravagnza of baking is over. I'm so happy. I want my house back and I want the chocolate put away and I don't want the smell of cake to permeate my dreams. I am starting with a good breakfast and now I'm going to do coach Nicole's 10 minute Kickboxing routine and I have a healthy dinner planned. So here I go. I feel like I am starting over. It feels like when
You say, " I'm going to start my diet Monday".

I know I am just continuing my path but I seriously am back to my sugar addiction. Today is day 1 of cold turkey. This is how I did it when I first started...no additional sugar, nothing baked or unwrapped or popped in my mouth. Because 1 bite is too much and is never enough. Cannie, I know you feel my pain! Have a good day, my friends!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Stop, drop and drool... (warning: Picture of deliciousness!)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I write so many amazing blogs! Unfortunatly, they are in my head while I am trying to go to sleep at night, then I forget in the morning.

I have been wanting to tell you and show you some stuff.
One of the things I want to show you is some of the baking items we have been making here for Valentine's Day. The girls and I are making all kinds of stuff for friends and family and the girls are making some extra cash (and I am getting paid back for buying the products but making zero profit and gaining nothing but pounds and the time spent with my daughters...sigh. It's priceless..right??).

I made these little chocolate covered cherry mice for some kids baskets we are doing....

Then we did some Jack Skellington for a birthday party....

Then there are some of these boxed cake pops as well....

Some of the flavors we have created include some Alcohol pops such as Kahlua, Malibu, and Bananas fosters which have been really popular and of course, your white, chocolate, red velvet, lemon etc.... The Almond toffee candy is all bagged up and/or given away so I am relieved it will stop calling me!!
This will all be over in a few days and I will be soooooo glad! Every lick, taste, nibble and bite is adding up and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, day after day of it.

Now, because you haven't seen Cortez in a little while, Here he is...THE BUBS! (aka Bubs, Bubby, Bubbalicious and CORTEZ-LEAVE-THE-CATS-ALONE!)


Remember last week? When I said Frank and I were going to get away for a day? Well, we did. We went to Monterey, spent the night then headed to Pismo to pick up some parts and headed home. Lots of time in the car but it was really nice to get away together, even just for the day. We will be married 22 years on the 24th of this month and he is still my best friend. I like the guy, what can I say?

When we were in Monterey, we went to the Famous Bixby Creek Bridge. My dad wanted his ashes spread there. He lived in Pacific Grove most of his life and that was a special place for him. He passed away on Valentine's day in 2006. Which was kinda fitting because he loved my mom so much and he was so miserable without her (she died in 1994) so it was fitting that he died on that day, to go be with the love of his life. Someone asked me if it made me sad he died on that day but it doesn't. It was pretty perfect actually. So anyway, I went to the Bridge and said hello to him. It was the most gorgeous day as you can see.




I hope you guys are all doing well and I will be back to serious Sparking again in a day or two. I feel like I am a little adrift right now but you are keeping me tethered and I thank you so much for hanging on to me and reaching out. You are my lifeline and are all that stands between me and binges sometimes. Sugar detox coming up really, really soon! I have a few really special friends here and it looks like a few of us may meet up in April. I am pretty stoked about that! There are still a few of my sparkies that I know I will meet someday but it will most likely involve an east coast trip... Something to look forward to, right? Even if I never face to face meet anyone, you have changed my life and I value our friendship so much.

Love, Jan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

can i just be happy?

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

That is what my sister asked me today. She told me she went into buy dog food today and picked up a 40 pound bag. She said to herself, my god, Jan has lost almost 2 of these! I remember when I lost the first 20 then 35 pounds and I took pix with the bags of dog food. So anyway, we started talking about it and she asked if I could just be happy with the 70 pounds I have lost. My answer? No. I can't. It is not what I set out to do. I set out to lose 111 pounds. I set out to weigh less than my husband. I set out to get below 200 pounds. I have not achieved that. I have lost a lot of weight. I am really happy with that. But I really have not lost any real weight since July. I am happy I can maintain this weight loss. But I am not done yet. I am not happy with with this, with me, where I am. So I gotta do something about this. It is a lot to think about . It makes me want to eat. Isn't that weird? In complete opposition to my goals, my stomach is growling and my mouth wants pringles. Why is this so complicated? I know one thing....I'm gonna get happy and I am not giving up. Because I am not done. And this is not over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME For a blog!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Well, let's see now...I haven't blogged for a week or so. I have been really busy. The girls and I have been taking orders for cake pops and. Valentines day baskets and we are getting really busy! It has been a lot of fun and some days I can avoid the cake pops and some days I can't but I can usually just eat one. They are NOT cookies so I have some controll over them. I have had good days and bad but mostly good.


I decided to weigh once a week for awhile as too often just makes me sad. I'm trying to still get the Christmas pounds off and get back to my 70 pounds lost and beyond. I am walking and frank and I have been doing some kinect boxing which is always funny and a hell of a good workout so we are gonna do that a few days a week, too. The sun has been out here in. Northern california and as roofers, we could use a little rain to stir up business but we are limping along. I have been spending a lot of time in my office and today, I crossed many things off my to do list like w2 forms and taxes, truck registration and DMV appointments. It is good to get things done and take some pressure off. I am a HUGE procrastinator but have been inspired recently by COOPAH who is taking down a barn! Get it done, hell ya!

Frank and I are Hoping to take a little getaway for a day or so to Monterey, maybe or something. I might even leave my tablet home ( god, he would be so happy to have my attention!) Guess that answers that! I hope you guys are well, hanging tight and moving forward. Tomorrow is FEBRUARY! GAH!!!! I am getting closer to the 2 year mark and I am with CANNIE, so grateful to have found spark and you. If I don't comment or drop in or thank you, please know every outreach you do for me touches me and I feel ya. Hugs and love, Jan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

addendum...duh part 2

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It also occurs to me I do not know how to eat like a 150 pound person. I am pretty sure it won't be including white cake with lemon filling or handfuls of sour patch kids (god those are so good!).
Yes those were actually part of my caloric input today all the while thinking, THATS NOT GOING to GET you out of the 220'S! How do I learn to eat enough but not too much? How do I stop sugar medicating? Why do saltine crackers seem like such a decadent treat? Why do I do great all day and then just kind of blow it? Or worse, do everything I am supposed to do and not make progress?

I am off kilter since the flu thing. I am on a plateau the size of mars. I am starting to get whiny. I'm tired of being in the same 10 pound zone. I think I am going to pretend you are all watching me. Every bite. Every day.

I guess I will just keep going , keep trying, keep going. I cannot afford to get tired now. March 10 will be 2 years. I want something awesome by then. Guess I will have to work for it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post: