MAMADWARF   45,117
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up, up and a why

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am up 2 pounds. Normally, that would send me into some type of upset but I understand why. I have been on a very strong hormone for 2 weeks (go back to dr. on monday) and after reading about it last night, I understand whats going on. Not that I wanted to put that number at my weigh in today, but I know I am on track with nutrition and excercise so I am just going to stick to the plan and trust my body to level out. I thought about not changing the number but that is cheating and I told myself I would track on Thursdays (the day I began) no matter what the number, although I also get to put a lower number in the tracker if I hit it before Thursday!

I am going away for 4 days to a race and I have set a plan for myself with food, excercise and hydration. I set a goal to be down 1 pound when I get back but it may be a challenge because of this medication, but am still going for it.

I will not lose sight of my goals no matter what obstacles get in my way. I am on my way to my next goal of 40 pounds lost. I have a visualization. I see myself looking down a road. There are mile markers and there is the destination. The mile markers are in 5 pound increments and the destination is my goal weight. Sometimes, I turn around and look behind me and I have come so far, I cant even see where I started anymore, so I turn back around and keep moving towards that next mile marker. I am walking towards it, even tho I would rather be in a Dodge Challenger speeding my way to where I am going (or maybe a Harley, depending on the day!) but I am still on the road.

I can picture when I am halfway there and when I get there and as I walk this road, I am getting smaller and healthier and smarter and stronger. So today's lesson, kids, is stay on the road and keep going!
(Im dropping fat behind me like a trail of bread crumbs! Kinda gross but I think it pretty much evaporates when it hits the road so I am not messsing up the environment or leaving anything for those following behind me to step in).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISHKALA 7/23/2010 2:07PM

    You and I are so on the same page!!! I'm in the exact same boat with the gain and the hormone pills and man, it gets you down. But your words are truly encouraging!! Thanks for the blog, and I'll be sure to read it over and over!!! Have fun! Mish emoticon

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NEDERLUNG 7/17/2010 10:33AM

    Great thoughts, hope you read this again and again. Stay strong, up scaling is only temporary (and sometimes normal).

I have several debates on whether to record the ups on the weight tracker - I ALWAYS record the ups - come on, we have lived in denial for years, that is how we got so fat to begin with. Now that you are being honest with yourself, why would we want to start lying again? Just my thoughts to those people who won't record the ups. Good for you for staying honest with yourself!

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HEALTHIERTINA 7/15/2010 6:51PM

  You're a hooot. Have fun at the race!!!! emoticon

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OTTAWABOUND 7/15/2010 11:32AM

    It is funny how, the longer we are on this journey, the less stressed we get about things like a blip up. For me, I am getting that this is a journey of a life-time and that just because I've done a small detour for a week or two, it doesn't invalidate the distance I've already travelled. Very different from past attempts at weight loss.

Have a great weekend, my fellow road-sister.

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ok so when I started this little adventure back in March, the "girls" were uncomfortably entrenched in a 48C, wth the 1" extender. You probably dont know this about me but I have a hate-hate relationship with Bra's. When I was 18, I took my bra off, flung it at my husband in a drunken stripper type dance to Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way" song and I didnt put one on again until I was 24 and pregnant.

They never fit right, are always digging in or slipping off the shoulder and are basically my main reason for the end of the day so I can get OUT of wearing the bra. Everyone who knows me understands if you come to my house after 6 or 7 pm, I will be in pajamas and you are gonna probably gonna get an eyeful. I used to take it off at 5 but now that my hubby and I walk in the evenings, I have pushed it back till later in the night and it is often my motivation to walk becuase I cant take it off until I get back from walk.

Ok there is my history with bra's. Yesterday, I put the torturous device on and realized that my underwire was broken. I couldn't find my "spare" so I dug through my drawers and my extras were just not good options so I found a decent, not reveling long tube top shirt and wore it until I could get to Lane Bryant and buy a new one which was 4 in the afternoon. I knew my old bra was getting big but just put it on the smallest hook and was happy that it was not digging into my skin. So I have said all of that to get to this:

42c BABY! Thats right, quite a drop! So that has lead to a new goal for me which is to get into a Victoria Secret bra which goes up to 38c. Not that I think it will be any more comfortable but hey, it will at least look good! (and who knows, Joe Walsh and I may have a repeat performance!)

I promise to post pictures from that little shopping excursion! Progress, not perfection!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 7/17/2010 10:28AM

    Hilarious topic - Speaking as someone who is about to join the 'big boobs' spark team - the importance of a good bra will make a huge difference in your love 'em/hate 'em relationship.

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HEALTHIERTINA 7/14/2010 10:50PM

  I hate bras too. But I have finally found a couple that fit right, and they aren't bad. I can actually wear them all day. Like you, mine came off practically the moment I walked in the door. They say having a professional fitting it worth it, and some places like JC Penny's or Macy's might still do them for free. But I would call ahead to see if they offer them.

Love you blogs. Keep them coming. emoticon

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MINIDRIVER63 7/14/2010 12:08PM

    One word: Platex. I love their 18-hour bras. Good support, and comfortable. And they come in 42C! I get mine at Target (20 bucks!).

Forget VS. All their bras are about looking pretty with no clothes on, not all-day comfort. Get a few for recreation, and live in the Platex 18-hour bras. As Jane Russell used to say, us full-figured gals need it!

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Summer is trying to derail me

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I love summer time. The boating, the swimming, the vacations,the peaceful nights on the patio, the fresh furit and great fresh veggies BUT, the activities are trying to get the best of me! I keep being in situations with family and friends and bbq and food and parties and events where I make the best choices I can but all that is getting me is maintaining and not losing. I have lost steadily since mid-march until the last 2 weeks. I hate whiny blogs so this is just me venting a bit of frustration and trying to work things out. I am also having an unusual hormonal thing that I am getting medical treatment for with another doc appt on Monday the 19th and I do think that has quite a bit to do with it.

I have loved losing weight on SP but some of my negative self talks has been creeping in goes like this: "Well you lost some weight, you made it very public and now you are gonna fail in front of everyone. It was a fluke. You have done this before and you always go back to the way you were. You cant change, you love that junky food too much to give it up. Just drive through somewhere for lunch and do the best you can.... and on and on"

So those of you who know me on here, know that if nothing else, I am positive. I find the good side of everything (it is the Libra in me!) and that I am very determined to hit my goals. So, just to make THIS very public, here is my plan:

Be prepared! (Have healthy food with me starting this weekend with 4 days at a race with crappy food everywhere!)
Stay hydrated with WATER (only 1 diet pepsi and 1 vitamin water, the rest of the day, water, water, water!)
Keep moving! (Walk 5 minutes for every hour sitting on my bootie)
Go swimming (and that does not include sitting and basting in the hot tub at the hotel)
Limit alcohol to 1 night of drinking (be the designated driver instead) of Captain Morgan and Diet Pepsi).
Tell people about Spark people (when they tell me how amazing I look!)
Show people how I have changed by representing. Let them see the new and improved Jan!

When I get home, I will have lost at least 1 pound and will feel stronger, better in control and back on my downward spiral.

So thanks for your support, thanks for reading, thanks for being here for me. You have made so much difference in this journey, I cannot tell you.

** PS. Last night when my hubby and I went jet skiing, he told me how amazing I looked and wished he had a camera because I looked so hot and so happy being out on the water. That the picture would have been my new icon for this site and my facebook page. Then he told me he wasnt going to let me go out on them by myself becuase I was so hot. LOL, that is so sweet but really hilarious because I still weigh over 250 pounds and he is the only one who sees me that way but how awesome is it that he does?????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 7/17/2010 10:23AM

    This feeling of difficulty shall to pass. I've noticed that every time I log a weight loss, SP pops up and says adjust your calories, etc. etc. - Well, my point is - among all the foods are all the additional activities. Focus on them and not being the care taker of the food tables. Be SELFish for now and let someone else handle it. When you are in better control of your impulses, then you can hover with the food caretakers, but for now - be SELFish!

How wonderful your husband seems! I'm envious! Smiles

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MAMADWARF 7/14/2010 10:54AM

    I have struggled a bit in the last few weeks but I wrote on someones page the other day: its not always easy, but it's always worth it.

I want this really badly so I am jsut trying to stay on track and keep making progress! Thanks as always for you encouragement and support. It means the world to me!

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CLEVAGAL 7/14/2010 2:53AM

    Jan, I LOVE where you are at the moment!!!!! I have hit a plateau (mainly because I am on weight gaining medication that I HAVE to be on). The whole snacking thing for me is the downer- until today. From today when I get ravenous I have a low calorie soup or hot drink or rice snacks/vegs with salsa. You have just been so strong!!!!! Its not always going to be easy aye, its all in the picking up after the damage that will really count. I think youre managing really well. It sounds like real life and youre adapting!!!!! GO GRRRRRRRRL! Cleva xxx emoticon

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What does it cost?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I started thinking today: What has it cost me to be fat?
Fast Food: 10.00-15.00 a day
Gym membership I never used: 85.00 a month
Bigger clothing: approx. twice what a "normal" size would cost
New furniture because I have worn it out sitting on my big butt: 1000.00
New Bed becuase the dip I made was too uncomfortable to sleep in anymore: 2000.00
Medical bills including knee replacement: 10,000.00 a year
Camping chairs built for bigger people: 100.00
New seats for my truck since I smashed them all down:2000.00
Loss of self respect
Loss of energy
Inability to move and do fun things with my family
Humiliation getting kicked off a roller coaster becuase the seat belt wouldnt fit
Humiliation asking for belt extender on airplanes
Causing my family undo stress and worry

Now what is it costing me to get healthy?
Fresh fruit and veggies and food to make healthy meals: 10-15.00 a day
Walking: free
More energy and an excitement to be alive: Free
Smaller clothes: Free because they were my "skinny clothes" I was going to wear again someday
Healthy dog and husband going for walks with me: free
An appreciative husband and kids: Free

(I know you know this is coming but it is so true!)
Getting healthy with SparkPeople: PRICELESS!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 7/11/2010 9:50PM

    Think of it this way, we are nipping it in the bud as Barney on Andy Griffith used to say. For me, I don't want to go on pills or insulin shots for diabetes. I don't want to always be saying to my family, "Go ahead without me, I don't feel up to it."

I had a medical scare with my left leg that set me on this journey and I don't want to go back to that kind of worry. If something happens to me now, I have taken some weight off and am doing better things for my body and would face a surgery knowing I have made changes for the better.

Don't look back except as a lesson learned, but look forward to having a future of participation in life and living it to the fullest.

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JMCADE 7/11/2010 1:36PM

    Wow we never really look at the difference in the costs. Thanks for making me think. Keep moving forward.

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TEENY_BIKINI 7/11/2010 1:25PM

    I agree. There is no price I would not pay for this new life. Well said, gorgeous.


Comment edited on: 7/11/2010 1:25:48 PM

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MISHKALA 7/11/2010 1:21PM

    You are blessed with the gift of writing. Thank you for the inspiration!! emoticon emoticon

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TEXWIFE 7/10/2010 9:19PM

    Jan you nevercease to amaze me in your writing. You always say I.m s4elf reflective but you do it in a positive way! It made me think about my own wieght battle, it doesnt have appeared to have cost me much so maybe thats why I dont work as hard as you. Thanks again for being such a delight to others. Love Becky emoticon

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/10/2010 9:03PM

    Nice job with this blog! You can do it!

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INFLATED 7/10/2010 6:49PM

    I agree with you.
My belly used to rub against the steering wheel making it uncomfortable to drive and difficult to make sharp turns.
I still have trouble finding wide width shoes, but my blouse size has come down a size.

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GRACEISENUF 7/10/2010 2:38PM

    Very good reminder of the ill effects of being overweight and very motivating at the same time!



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Mama's got a brand new bag!

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

I have been inspired recently by some people doing visual before and after shots as well as in progress pix. Well, I am definatly in progress but when I lost 25 lbs. I posted this picture:

Now today, I was in Petsmart and I bought a 35 pound bag of dog food. This is how much weight I have lost since March 10, 2010

I dont know what this says about me using dog food as a gauge, but I do love seeing the progress I am making. It is really kind of amazing because for the first time in a long time, I dont cringe when I see a picture of me and I am excited to keep this journey going and be one of the spark people success stories, too! Keep up the hard work everyone, we are looking FINE!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISHKALA 7/11/2010 1:19PM

    You're doing a fantastic job!!! You look fantastic!! I have to buy dogfood too, I'll have to pick up some bags to guage for myself! It's so hard not to get depressed when we hit plateaus - we have to remember what we've accomplished so far! Way to go!! emoticon emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 7/10/2010 2:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEWYEARME 7/8/2010 9:26AM

    Great visual!!!!


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NEDERLUNG 7/7/2010 11:55PM

    I think this is an excellent visual. You have worked very hard to reach 35 pound loss, you should be very proud of yourself. Of course, I can see that you are proud by that huge smile on your face.

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SUSHIMAVEN 7/7/2010 11:31PM

    great idea to use dog food!

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MD300BOWLER 7/7/2010 11:27PM

    Thanks for sharing.
Donít forget to drink losts of water everyday and join the BOWLING TEAM for great Huddles. emoticon

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