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My birthday and race weekend (lots of pictures)

Monday, October 03, 2011

So I know you guys want to know how my birthday went. First I want to thank you ALL for your birthday wishes and goodies etc...I had a great birthday!!

I had to work that day but planned to go to dinner with Frank and my girls and my sister. When I got to restaurant, this is what I saw:

A bunch of my friends and family! Frank had planned a suprise party for me with about 30 people, including my best girlfriend, Lisa, whom I have known since we were 9 years old.
This is a picture of me, her and her hubby.

This is my daughter, Kelly

and my daughter Kady

Me and my neice, Sami, tasting the cake

and one last picture of me and lisa (she looks the same as when we were teenagers. I hate her). lol

Then Thursday morning, we headed to the race track, got the tent up,
set up the trailers, unloaded all the food, the trophies, the raffle prizes and cooked dinner for the masses (about 125 people). Big costco hotdogs, nachos and chili and birthday cake! So many people brought me gifts and cards, it was overwhelming. But the best present was Frank got one of our drivers (he does Elvis weddings) to dress up for me for my birthday!!

Then the party began and Kady came and made adult smoothies for everyone

ANd this was my friend, Spanky. Lucky it wasn't me!!

Here are some of the raffle prizes and trophies....

Friday we cooked over 200 peices of chicken, cut it all up and put in pans with BBQ sauce and served over buns, potato salad, green beans with onions for 250 people.
Saturday, we cooked 180 pounds of tri tip, Baked beans, green salad and rolls for 300 people!

We did a special memorial for Frank's dad and his whole family came and we gave his mom a plaque. 66 dwarf cars lined up on the track. It was really cool.

All in all it was a great weekend, I am loving being 50 but I have had enough distraction from myself and I am ready to get back to taking care of myself. I have had a lot of events, a lot of cake, a lot of alcohol.
Now it is time to get strong, prepare for the upcoming holiday and food eating situations that derail me.
It is time to get solid
It is time to get strong
It is time to get fit(ter)
It is time to quit messing around.

I am posting some mini challenges for anyone who needs a little help getting back on the rails, who needs a little spark in their spark and a reminder and some support for those of us who may have strayed a bit from our path.

This week is about hitting our nutrtional goals for protein. This is not a balls to the wall challenge. This is about basic strategies that work and a gentle nudge in the right direction. This is about friends and reminders and a tentative foothold on which to build. Everyone is welcome and it is completely informal.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 10/6/2011 9:37PM

    I LOVE YOUR BIRTHDAY BLOG! Wish I could have been all looks like a blast.

Love you birthday "soulmate". LOL! Don't ya just love the 28th? :)

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 10/5/2011 9:52PM

    You were certainly shining bright on your big day. It's lovely that you were surrounded by people who absolutely love and adore you and getting even more loving vibes from all your cyber friends! Cheers to you and this milestone birthday!

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CANNIE50 10/4/2011 8:47PM

    Can I just say I breathed a sigh of relief at the idea of you having my back, or holding my hand, through my first Sparkly holiday season? I keep reminding myself they are holiDAYS not holiMONTHS. Thanks for sharing the photos. Yes, your friend looks remarkable and you are looking quite sizzly yourself, Mama. I am hoping after all the excitement you have had, that you actually have kind of a mundane month so you have less obstacles with fitness and nutrition. I am glad you are back. We have been quite generous sharing you with your family and friends and cruise passengers and drivers and race-fans and Spanky and Elvis, but now we Sparklers want you all to ourselves for awhile. Understood? Good.

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DIFROMWYOMING 10/4/2011 8:46PM

    Happy belated Birthday and you look beautiful! Glad you had such a good weekend.

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DEBBIE19580 10/4/2011 4:56PM

    Happy Birthday Jan!!! I'm happy you had a awesome time. Loved seeing pics!! emoticon emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 10/4/2011 3:11PM


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    Loved, loved, loved the pictures!!! :)

Sounds like a fabulous birthday and weekend. GO YOU!

- Michelle

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TURTLERASKIN 10/4/2011 1:25PM

    Great pictures -- so glad you had a fun birthday. Who wouldn't love Elvis??

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    emoticon to hubby for the surprise party. Love all the photo's! It looks like you had a blast!

Happy Belated Birthday!

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KKINNEA 10/4/2011 12:44PM

    Looks like so much fun!

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TEENY_BIKINI 10/4/2011 12:13PM

    Love it!! Happy belated birthday, gorgeous. You look stunning.


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BADASSBLONDIE 10/4/2011 12:11PM

    Love this!!!!! :D

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/4/2011 8:28AM

    You are the hottest 50 year old around! No kidding!!! LOVE that birthday outfit! emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/4/2011 8:28:46 AM

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/4/2011 7:07AM

    What an awesome weekend!

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DAISY443 10/4/2011 6:31AM

    Wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing! You make me smile!

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ERIN4771 10/4/2011 6:11AM

    what an awesome birthday weekend my friend!!! love all the pictures, and definitely glad that was spanky and not you emoticon....
loving the new mini challenges you have set up as well!! you got this my friend!! emoticon

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LESLIES537 10/4/2011 12:32AM

    Sounds like you had quite the celebration! What a great hubby for throwing you that surprise party. Loved the pics and love your new goals and determination. I'm in. Adding protein as my first baby step to getting back on track. Let's DO THIS!


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super simple get on track challenge to my friends

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Alot of us are struggling. We are stuck or have regained weight or are unhappy where we are. So I was thinking about a small, manageable back to basics challenge among friends.

So this week, lets focus on protein. All you have to do is eat the amount of protein your tracker recommends. By the end of the week, try to get to at least 10 more grams than your minimum. That's it.

Lets support each other, be good to ourselves and remember the basics. That is what works and we know it.
If you have suggestions for next week, lets talk about it and make a plan so we can be on good, solid ground before the holidays.

Who's with me???

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 10/6/2011 9:29PM

    I'm late reading this...but I will try starting NOW. It seems I hardly ever get the recommended protein as I am not a big meat eater. I have discovered black beans though lately and have made a recipe I invented with black beans and brown rice, it is so good. I made it up at the lake this week and the longer it sat in the fridge in tupperware the better it got.

I'm on the protein challenge.

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JITZUROE 10/3/2011 5:31PM

    i'm in!!!!! Oh, where was this blog on Saturday night when I needed more protein, and went the WRONG direction instead, toward the pantry... Boo!
Ilve got lots o' protein lined up for today though. Yay!

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DAISY443 10/3/2011 3:30PM

    Protein! Yay!

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KKINNEA 10/3/2011 2:08PM

    I'm in. I'll get my tracking fired up.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/3/2011 1:55PM

    Back to basics it is! Protein! Yum! Oh and less beans! emoticon Bring on the meat! emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 10/3/2011 1:31PM

    I'm in. emoticon

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FANGFACEKITTY 10/3/2011 1:17PM

    I'm in!

Maybe for a future week we make sure we get our Vitamin D & Calcium. I know I struggle with this, and it is critical for women as they aproach & finish menopause to keep their bone strength.

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IMIN2GENES 10/3/2011 1:10PM

    I'm with you! I've definitely lost a little forward momentum. Back to basics sounds good to me!

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DEE0973 10/3/2011 12:57PM

    I'm with you, thanks for getting this started.

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CELLISTA1 10/3/2011 12:43PM

    How convenient of you to pick my "easy" one! I am a protein lover. Bring on the fish!

Thanks for starting us off, Jan. You ARE the mamadwarf.

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CANNIE50 10/3/2011 12:26PM

    This is brilliant in it's simplicity and it's importance as a building block. Plus, I LOVE that is a focus on DOING rather than not doing. I have been thinking about you and wondering how your big event went. It was this past weekend, correct? So, I am all in and I am back to tracking (which makes such a difference for me). I also started the day, before reading this, with my protein smoothie so I am well on my way to meeting the challenge for the day. I load lots of protein first thing in the morning because it is my best insurance to not loading my face and belly up with carbs later in the evening. How glad am I (along with many, many others) that you are a Sparkler? Very, very glad.

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SARAWALKS 10/3/2011 8:36AM

    That's a really good idea, Jan. With the cold weather beginning, we're all going to want carbs and the only thing to keep that under control is getting enough protein so we have enough - I dunno - HUNK in our bodies to help us withstand the munchies.
I'm in...although I'm not tracking, I will just make it a firm intention...

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/3/2011 7:33AM

    I'm with you, the scale's been bouncing like a red rubber ball! I need something.

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CHELEMIA 10/3/2011 3:11AM

    I am I have been not so committed and this last week with Hubby's hospital scare, and my friends gall bladder surgery w/o notice and 5 days watching our 3 godchildren when I wasn't working the 3 jobs kind of took everything out of me. Today weight wise I am ok but No tracking or organized food or exercise. I need this!!! Thank you!!

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Tomorrow, I am 50. Tonight, I am $49.95!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is my 50th birthday. How do I feel about that, you may ask?

I am STOKED!! I am excited to be 50, I am excited to be me, at this age, at this weight, as this point in my journey.

I am still losing weight and getting healthy. I am not DONE and and I am NOT done working it, trying, fighting, being motivated, inspired and challenged.

I am going to be better that ever in my 50th year.
I am going to be better to myself in my 50th year.
I am going to be better for my family and my friends in my 50th year.
I am going to make my 75, 80 and 90 pound loss in my 50th year (maybe more, we shall see).

Thank you for the friendship, the support, the encouragement. Thank you for the birthday wishes and goodies, the laughs, the compassion and for letting me be part of your lives. It has been the best gift I could ever ask for and it means the world to me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 10/3/2011 7:30PM

    Welcome to the club. I declared the year I turned 50 to be my Mid-Life Crisis Celebration. An entire year doing things I'd always wanted to like candlemaking classes, yoga, getting my bellybutton pierced, etc.... On my actual birthday. I slept.

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JITZUROE 10/3/2011 5:27PM

    This was just so sparkly and refreshing to read! Your excitement to make this time the best ever is infectious!
Happy Belated!

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THREEE 10/3/2011 6:39AM

    and you can see how many people you have been a gift to...i did not realize you were THAT old...i thought you were my young friend with a wise heart...and here you are 50 YEARS OLD!!!
MY dad turned 80 on thursday, so now i know what kind of astrological sign you are...
woman, i have missed you so much...i'll be catching up on my reading of your blogs and wish you the very best(least? weight-wise) this next year of your life...
and, i would agree, 50 is NOT bad at all...especially if your body is well-maintained and getting'll probably feel more fit than you did at 40...(i am a young 58 with a rather old body--but i am back on track and will be giving myself a smaller body for Christmas...and will be thankful for spark and lovely people like you--i know, there are few like you--at thanksgiving)
have a wonderful day and i will be checking back with you after i've re-established my recording calorie intake and activity/calorie expenditures...
i look forward to catching up emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 10/1/2011 1:44PM

    Happy Birthday!

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1CRAZYDOG 10/1/2011 10:25AM

    50 is the new 30 but with more brains!!! LOL Hope you had a wonderful, wonderful birthday. I am 57 and wouldn't go back in time. . . there may be difficulties, but THESE are the best years.

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SARAWALKS 9/30/2011 9:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 9/29/2011 4:41PM


Hope your fifties are as fabulous as mine have just keeps getting better.

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    I friggin love the title to this blog! You make laugh, so thank you!!

Have an awesome day!

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PRINCESSNURSE 9/28/2011 4:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonHappy birthday!!!!

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HARTLEYO 9/28/2011 3:08PM

    Your title to this blog is Hilarious. Happy Birthday emoticon

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KARIRDH3 9/28/2011 2:15PM


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OJIBWEEQUAY 9/28/2011 1:34PM


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SHERLYN-WILL 9/28/2011 1:17PM

    YOU are rocking 50! LOVE your attitude, outlook, spirit and zest! LOVE it!

THANKS for being in my Sparkworld....


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IRISHBEANERGAL 9/28/2011 12:45PM


Happy Birthday! Enjoy your healthier life!


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TURTLERASKIN 9/28/2011 12:38PM

    Happy birthday, and many more to come!

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BADASSBLONDIE 9/28/2011 12:27PM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! You've ROCKED this and it's wonderful that you're turning 50 healthier than you were at 49. Can't wait to see how much you rock this 50th year!

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TREASURINGLIFE 9/28/2011 12:02PM

    I hope you have the most fantastic birthday ever - and the most fabulous upcoming year ever!! :)

- Michelle

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CAROLCRC 9/28/2011 10:20AM

    50 made me re-evaluate where I was in life - and I LIKED WHAT I FOUND! Sounds like you are doing the same. Hope you have a great day and year to come.

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SLFRISBEY 9/28/2011 10:20AM

    ~~~HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~~ Hope it's a fab day and I can't wait to see what you accomplish in your 50th year!

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CALIPIDGIOUS 9/28/2011 9:42AM

    A most joyous birthday to you!

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KRAWRS 9/28/2011 9:24AM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I love your positive attitude. A lot of people have the "Oh no, not 50!" blues when their time comes. I'm with you tho... age is just a number. A number you can be proud of, but what matters is how you FEEL and what kind of life you live! And I know you will do your age justice and completely rock it! Cuz you're awesome like that! HOORAH!

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PJH2028 9/28/2011 9:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ERIN4771 9/28/2011 7:01AM

    50?!?! no way my friend, gonna need to see some i.d please emoticon....isn't it great to become wiser with age!! love that you are embracing all the wonderful things happening to you, and i can't wait to read about how your day went! happy 50th my friend!! emoticon

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DAISY443 9/28/2011 5:58AM

    50 is a great age! Enjoy every minute of it! Hugs!

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CELLISTA1 9/28/2011 3:59AM

    Wishing you a REALLY happy birthday -

don't get too drunk, though...

I really came into my own at 50. It's a fabulous time in your life and knowing you, you will make the most of it!


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TERRYT55 9/28/2011 12:48AM

    Happy, Happy Birthday, Jan. I'm wishing you the best day and year ever!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JIBBIE49 9/28/2011 12:17AM

    emoticonHappy Birthday. I remember turning 50 about 12 years ago, so time flies. Make use of each day as they will never come again. I remember thinking 50 was so far away and so old, but now I'll be 62 in 2 weeks and I don't think of myself as OLD at all. I just want to make the most of each day. emoticon

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CATS_MEOW_0911 9/28/2011 12:16AM

    Happy birthday Jan!

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AMYNYNJ 9/27/2011 11:57PM

    Wow! Happy Birthday to you! emoticon

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WFORRESTER1 9/27/2011 11:36PM

  Happy Birthday

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CANNIE50 9/27/2011 11:35PM

    Tonight you are $49.95, tomorrow you will be "fitty". You are proof positive that we can get healthier, stronger, fitter, better, and more beloved as we grow older. 50 ain't what it used to be, honey-child. HAPPY HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL JAN!!! emoticon It may be your birthday, but you are a gift to us all. emoticon

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Mish Mash

Sunday, September 25, 2011

First of all, thank you for the words of wisdom and advice for me on my "friend" blogs. I appreciate and have written a message (thanks sdj) saying I heard they were coming and looking forward to seeing them. It feels like the right thing to do and so it is. Onward.

Had fun at my nephews wedding and Cannie, here is a picture of the cake pops I made for the rehearsal dinner...

It was a beautiful garden wedding and we had a great time. This is a picture of me with my husband's side of the family...

This is the happy couple:

On to a new week!! I am looking forward to it. I will be 50 on wednesday and will be going to dinner with the family. The Thursday I will be leaving for the racing mania weekend... Hope all is well with you guys... Love ya!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMIN2GENES 9/27/2011 7:34PM

    Those cake pops look delish! Nice way to sneak in a little portion control... LOL!

I'd say enjoy your birthday and race weekend; but I know you will! Hope you have an awesome week.

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KAMAPERRY 9/26/2011 11:40PM

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! Yummy!

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CANNIE50 9/26/2011 5:38PM

    Oops, I just licked my computer screen emoticon

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JEREMY723 9/26/2011 5:12PM

    I have to ask about the person with the cowboy hat in the group photo. Can't see their face at all. Is that what they wanted?

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BADASSBLONDIE 9/26/2011 1:23PM

    I am salivating from the picture of those cake pops... :D

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OJIBWEEQUAY 9/26/2011 9:01AM

    I have yet to try a cake pop! I am afraid.......I will LOVE them! HA emoticon What a good looking family!!!! 50????!!! You coulda fooled me!!!! Great genes! Keep rockin mama!!!!!

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    Oh my, those cake pops look DELICIOUS!!! :)

I hope you have the most fantastic birthday EVER...and your racing weekend is more enjoyable than you thought possible.

Have a great day! :)

- Michelle

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DAISY443 9/26/2011 8:04AM

    Now you did it! My mouth is watering over those cake pops! Enjoy your big week! By the way, 50 is just a baby! Hugs!

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CHELEMIA 9/25/2011 11:29PM

    Happy Birthday! I hope you have an awesome week!! Where is the race next weekend?

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GRACEISENUF 9/25/2011 11:03PM

    Your cake pops look so good and pretty to boot! Thanks for sharing the pics.

Wed./my 53rd birthday, lol..I am going to my DD's to take her to lunch with my hubby. Then Sunday we are off to hike and play for 4 days at Bass Lake/Yosemite.

Enjoy your 50th birthday dinner with your family Jan. Oh and enjoy the race weekend too.


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Another whiny friend betrayal blog. Then I am done.

Friday, September 23, 2011

I wasnt gonna blog about this but I think I need to just to release it.

We have some racing friends, we have known for years but in the last 4 or 5 years have become closer to. They have a son (are we seeing a common denominator here???) who is an excellent driver and last year, Frank rebuilt a car (it was practically new) and the kids dad gave us a motor and we all agreed for "R" to drive it at 4 national events. He did drive it and did ok in it (motor was problematic) but we took it to all the races, he showed up and drove and it didnt cost him anything. He paid the entry and he kept any money. (the advantage to us was to promote our chassis that we build and get it in the winners circle).

In this division of racing, the cars we build DOMINATE and are usually the winners although there is good competition from a few other brands. Anyway, at the end of the season, it wasnt feeling like it was working out, so we sold the car and gave the dad the money for the motor. Even steven.

Come to find out, the kid is badmouthing us to several people that we didnt give him a NEW car but a rebuilt car (um, we dont owe you sh*^, butthead!) and now is coming to our race next week in a chassis from a competitor and did not even have the respect to tell us he is coming at all and is planning on just showing up and "surprising us". His parents did not let us know either so it strikes me as sneaky and certainly not how a friend would handle it. I dont care if he drives another car, although some loyalty would be nice. The problem I have is the badmouthing.

I just am furious and want to tell him and his dumb parents off but you know what? I CANT becuase of my position!
1. Franks wife (oh it is jealousy about the chassis)
2. Secretary of the club (gotta be nice to everyone)
3.Not gonna give them the satisfaction of knowing it bothers me

A friend told me once, Hey, maybe WE are the A$$holes! And we always joke about it but I am starting to wonder. I just dont see how giving someone a car to drive makes us one so I have to veto that line of thought in this situation.

Thanks for listening. I will get over it and I will handle it with grace and dignity, things they will never have.

On another note, leaving to go to the inlaws today for my nephews wedding. I will take cake pop pictures and have a good time (I hope).

Hope you guys have a great weekend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WITCHYWOMAN45 9/25/2011 12:35AM

  You might combine the advice of several posters here and also add into any conversation/emails this little item....if the kid didn't appreciate driving a "rebuilt car"... no one made him drive it and no one made him accept any monetary winnings while doing it! Money that was likely yours as owners right? When word gets around about you letting him keep the winnings and that you paid for the engine as well...I don't think anyone with sense is going to believe you are the @**holes.
You don't have to go on the attack, simply say to anyone who speaks with you about the issue that he was compensated well for his driving for the season with the winnings and your purchased the engine from his dad. The word of mouth will spread backwards to the right people. Remember, gossip travels all directions, that's something you can count on in life. Make positive use of the nature of humans by turning it around. Even if only half of the truth gets to anyone important, it's better than you getting angry and showing it to ungrateful people. It's a bit sneaky, but usually very effective. And you get to say things with the grace and dignity you want to show.

Comment edited on: 9/25/2011 12:41:00 AM

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KAMAPERRY 9/24/2011 11:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ERIN4771 9/24/2011 6:35AM

    have to say i like sandiegoe johns advice...but remember, i am willing to bust some heads if needed emoticon

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CANNIE50 9/24/2011 2:46AM

    Rise above, baby girl, rise above. For whatever reason, this is your season to deal with betrayals. I find this often happens in life, where some similar things will keep cropping up as if the world is saying "okay, do you get it - have you learned whatever it is you need to be learning?" On a completely unrelated note, my s.i.l. just sent us cakepop's from my nephew's wedding, which we could not attend because it was the same day we moved my 18 y.o. son to college. Of course, I thought of you and your marvelous creations. PS I love SanDiegoJohn's comment/advice - kill 'em with kindness - they will be baffled. emoticon

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KKINNEA 9/24/2011 12:59AM

    So sad that "friends" are treating you this way. I'll be thinking about you and sending strength your way so you can continual to handle in your classy way!

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KRAWRS 9/24/2011 12:34AM

    How frustrating! Ashley and SDJ and some others have some great advice, better than I can say, so I'll just go with "ditto." You know what? You are a strong proud lady. Flaunt it. You know where their loyalties lie now so at least you can stop wasting your friendship on people like that. Just wish them the best and move on. ((hugs))

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GRACEISENUF 9/23/2011 11:27PM

    SANDIEGO JOHN had some great advice there...people can be so damned annoying and ungrateful at times...GRRRR.

Hope you do have a good time at the wedding and everyone enjoys your baking skills and the time you spent making the cake pops.

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RUNNER12COM 9/23/2011 7:31PM

    If you have an email for the family, drop them a note.

"We heard that Joe is driving again this next week. You know it gets busy and crazy and we may not have time to say this in person, so just wanted to tell him to be safe and have a great race."

And leave it at that. They'll know you know they are talking about you, they'll know you are aware he is driving for someone else, and they'll know that none of it bothers you.

And then go, have a great time, and act like they are just anyone else at the track if you see them. No dislike, no like, just... whatever.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 9/23/2011 4:26PM

    Reputations are hard to build up and easy to be torn down. I don't think you can allow this to slide under the radar. But, you have to handle it in a way that you don't end up being made to seem like the bad guy or make yourself look worse that he is already doing. So, here is what I propose:
* Speak to him nicely, but let him know you have heard what has been said. Even if he denies it - and human nature is that he will - he may stop his badmouthing after that.
* Do not under any circumstances let him or anyone else make you lose your cool - cause then you look bad, and he or they can say, "See, unreasonable people..."
* Do not go gossiping or badmouthing him to anyone, or again you look like the attacker and the bad guy, and again the negative focus is 'heightened' against you.
* You yourself act in a way that shows who you are, and eventually (hopefully) people will 'know' who you are and who he is.
* If people believe the negative things about you, you have to hold your head up anyway, cause you know who you are.

Wishing you the best.

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DAISY443 9/23/2011 3:37PM

    Enjoy the wedding, ignore the insensitive kid. Those who know you won't care what he says! Hugs!

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PHEFEY 9/23/2011 3:20PM

    I would definitely try to clear it up since it is affecting or could affect your business. Play innocent and make it seem like you would never believe that they would do this (talk bad) and see what they say. Hopefully it'll make them feel guilty or they'll own up to what they were saying, at which point you can make your case. If they deny it and then continue badmouthing you, next time you hear something through the grapevine, just tell the spreader that you asked the family and they denied they said anything. That'll take away their credibility.
Good luck and have fun at the wedding!

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CHELEMIA 9/23/2011 1:26PM

    Hard week for you! Luv you through it all. It may not help but I hope you remember that for each one person you let go of, there are many others waiting in the wings for the opportunity just to meet you and be blessed by your friendship. (like all of us!)

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VAMANOS 9/23/2011 1:15PM

    Read your last blog and this one both just now. This has got to be frustrating for you, as well as sad. Hard to forgive people who talk behind your back. I know it happens to everyone, but I have the luxury of ignoring it most of the time, since it (so far) hasn't/doesn't affect my business.

But I can relate. Some years ago, we received a call from the son of friends that my husband had known since high school. The son was frantic, his parents out of town and he needed $400 that night or would be evicted. Of course we loaned him the $400. But...we didn't hear back from him in however many days he said it would be before he could pay us back. Eventually, we contacted his mom and dad, asking for his phone number, and naturally they wanted to know why, so we told them. Their response was "I wish you hadn't done that. We wouldn't have given him the money." OK, well, sorry, we thought we were doing your son a favor. We never asked them to pay the money back, and we never got it back. We also never heard from them again. They were fun people, and we miss them. It's sad.

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MAMADWARF 9/23/2011 12:55PM

    Great advice, Ashley. Thank you. I just really needed to get it out so I could better see the logic in it once the red of the emotion cleared. I feel much better now and I know that all I can control is me. I am not stunned by this turn of events with these folks and like Bo said, not everyone has the same standards and I cannot expect them to have mine.

I am off to enjoy the wedding and I am grateful for the wise counsel and support I always recieve here. Thank you!

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IMIN2GENES 9/23/2011 12:13PM

    I agree, with Bo and Ashley. Ashley gave you some good advice. I'm not sure ignoring the situation completely will help. I'm so sorry that happened to you! What is it about competitive activities that seem to bring out the worst in some people? Geez! I concur with your veto... I don't think you're the a$$holes in this situation either. I've seen something similar to this happen to my brother in his chosen sport.

Have an awesome time at your nephews wedding!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 9/23/2011 12:00PM

    I think Ashley offered great advise.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 9/23/2011 11:55AM

    Ok, Here is how I feel about this. 1 I agree with crazydogladybo in that some people do not have the same ethical and moral standards that people like you and I do but that is not an excuse 2. I think racing seems to attract those kind of people in larger numbers for some reason 3. I see no reason you can not have a polite conversation with this kid and his family. Maybe something to the effect of "Hey, Frank and I are hearing some pretty awful stuff and people told us you are saying it. Now we wouldn't believe that since we feel there has been no reason for this so what is really going on?" This does 2 things, it will embarrass him for being the low life crapbag that did say all that stuff and it will also make it known you won't be bullied or spoken badly about and you still come off as the better person. Your choice but I don't think ignoring it is the solution and it has clearly greatly upset you. Love you, have fun at the wedding

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BADASSBLONDIE 9/23/2011 11:54AM

    F*ck these people. You deserve better than them. *hugshard* You're gonna have a wonderful time at that wedding :D

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TREASURINGLIFE 9/23/2011 11:44AM

    Ignorant, disrespectful people suck. But they exist. And they're all around us...all the time. Sorry you're yet again having to deal with them. Eff them and the bs they bring and go about your life filled with joy and full of grace. :) And have a blast at the wedding (I can't wait to see the pics)!

- Michelle

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DSBRIDE 9/23/2011 11:35AM

    At least you were able to vent and get it somewhat out of your system. Your friends here understand and support you. Yes we are sorry this happened to you but you must put it aside and move on as anything else will only hurt you more. Don't let it pray on your mind and cause you stress that you really don't need. You are the bigger person and will rise above this. The only thing is do you really still need to call these people your 'friends'?

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 9/23/2011 11:27AM

    emoticon Not all people have the same standards. Sorry that this happened to you.

Have a wonderful time and nephews wedding!

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