MAMADWARF   45,945
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Help! There's cake in my house and it won't leave me alone!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I am in a bad situation here, kids. I have had iron will since I started this deal in March. I have lost 35 pounds. People cannot beleive how strong I have been. I have had a hard time believing it too! But today, the old me is trying to take over!! Im at a disadvantage. I am TTOM (that time of month) and I am so hungry and not just hungry, but craving sugar. It is the first time this has happened to me since I have been on SP.

MY hubby and I took the dog and went to the lake yesterday. Had a nice day. Then came home and my girls had baked a lemon cake (one of my top 5 favs). So I was ok about it, stuck it in the frig, out of sight, out of mind, right?
Uh no. This is one of the most powerful cakes I have come across. It has been calling me all day from my outside office. I have been thinking about that damn cake. So after lunch, went back to office then came through to run to the store. Opened the frig to check on supplies and there it was. It literally LEAPED into my hands, plate and all! I did not know a lemon cake could move so fast.

I understood then and there, I would be eating this cake, so I gave myself permission and cut a 2" by 2" peice. I got a fork and thought I will eat it nicely and slowly. Uh, again with the leaping,right into my mouth! So I stopped fighting it, gave in, enjoyed my peice standing in the kitchen with my purse and car keys in hand. Got into my car and thought "well, thats that. You better factor that in for the rest of the day. No problem, I have some wiggle room, so off to the store.

Came back, put some stuff away in the frig and WHAM! That SOB jumped right back into my hands!! Another square into the mouth.
Now I am starting to feel a bit crazy, weak and ashamed and I dont friggin like that one bit. So I wrapped that bad boy up in Blue saran wrap as tight as possible and shoved him so far down and back in the frig, someone will have to ask me where it is to find it. I think I have a grip now, after blogging this and realizing the cake had its moment in the sun but now I will have mine.

I have a stir fry planned for dinner tonight, very healthy and yummy. I am not afraid to open the frig since the cake is secure but damn, we had a moment there, didnt we? Sometimes maybe you have to go back to remember how far you have come. That cake? Would have won just a few short months ago. It may have got it's licks in (yea, that's intentional. Im funny like that) but I am the big winner. Cake 2 (pcs), Jan 35 (pounds). Progress, not perfection!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 6/30/2010 10:06AM

    I don't bring cake into the house, but then I don't live with others who want it either. Occasionally, I'll make a cake for a potluck, but I always make them in one of those 'dollar store' pans so I can leave pan and all at the potluck - no excuse to bring it home! Hope others find the cake and eat it before you have the opportunity to hear it screaming for you again. Smiles.

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CLEVAGAL 6/30/2010 2:10AM

    All in moderation my darlin-that sounded like moderation to me! Well done! Cleva xxx

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 6/29/2010 7:59PM

    Is it the end of the world if you toss the cake? I've done crazy things in my past, like dig it out of the garbage (who knew that was a symptom of an eating disorder)... I just polished off a bag of bbq baked lays. At least it took me 3 days to finish instead of the normal hour. emoticon

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HEALTHIERTINA 6/29/2010 7:46PM

  Loved the blog as always. And I love your sense of humor. emoticon

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MISHKALA 6/29/2010 7:19PM

    OMGosh you are HILARIOUS!!! I do believe the willpower grinch has visited my house too! Ohhhh, I've been sooo good. But I ate Doritos this evening. It's that salt craving time of month. And with every single one I popped into my mouth, I had the identical swath of emotions. Thank you for bringing such humor into the scenario. We still win this match!!! emoticon

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Can you guess how much weight I gained on vacation?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I just got back from Utah for 12 days (including 2 days to get there and back), hours of driving in cars, other people's cooking, snacking, Captain Morgan. On the plus side, I took my own snacks, did cook some of the meals with my sister, and did some walking (see previous blogs and goals). Today I got on the scale with trepidation. My plan was to at least maintain while I was gone but I worried I had gained weight. I told myself it was ok no matter what because this is my life and things are going to come up and that I did the best that I could.

So I was going to make this a competition but I am lousy at waiting to share news so here it is:
I gained 6 Ounces!!! Seriously! I am so excited about that crummy 6 ounces! It shows me I can live the life I want, not feeling deprived, have a little bit of this and that, stay on track with excercise and still be on track. I am patting myself on my own smaller back because of the PROGRESS I have made. This same trip last year saw me laying on the couch, eating and drinking everything, barely making it through the day with my lazy a$$, grouchy, self and this time? I walked! I climbed! I rode 4 wheelers through crazy mountains! I danced (in the dirt and rocks with my husband) and I feel 1 million percent better than I have in a long time!

Now I am home and back on a tighter tracking situation. I have a cousin weekend coming up next week and I am hoping to hit my 35 pound loss by then. If not, no sweat, because I know I will get there, pass that goal up and get all the way to where I want to be 111 pounds from where I started. I love sparkpeople and I am so grateful I found it. Setting goals has changed my every day life and my entire future. Now I am able to share that with other people and make a difference in their lives too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 6/25/2010 6:45PM

    It shows me I can live the life I want, not feeling deprived, have a little bit of this and that, stay on track with exercise and still be on track."
This is what it is all about!!!! To me, that is a healthy lifestyle, not the constant worrying about not doing this or that or worrying about indulging in high calorie foods. It is about living in the moment.

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IHAVETOO10 6/23/2010 9:45AM

    Way to GO, Girl... Proud of how far you have come.
Isn't it Amazing you can Live & Enjoy b y just being Aware..

I leave on the 30th for Branson for a Good Ole Family Vacation.
Pray I can do the same...


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NEDERLUNG 6/23/2010 12:30AM

    So glad to hear you are patting yourself on the back. Because, no one did this, but YOU! You deserve all the credit. I've enjoyed hearing your journey and maybe SparkPeople was your tool, but it is only a tool (like a measuring cup or an alarm clock, it is only a tool). You made the choices, you must take the credit. YOU DID THIS! Good for you!

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CALILINDI 6/22/2010 11:50PM

    Living the life and loving it! Excellent job girl! emoticon

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KIWIEVIE 6/22/2010 11:38PM

You Rock!

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MISSWINGS1 6/22/2010 11:30PM

    Congrats! So hwat scale measures ounces? Mine tells me pounds and half pounds, but no ounces.

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Day 9 of vacation and....

Friday, June 18, 2010

I am hanging in there! There have been 9 days of traveling, not being in control of the food (with friends and others cooking), rain, snow, wind, sun, heat, quad rides, mountains, desert and dessert! I am doing pretty well. I just make the best of where I am and what I can eat. I take snacks when we go on adventures and when we (my sister and I) are cooking, we make healthy meals for up to 15 people and they like it! The hardest thing is the fresh fruits and veggies but I am working them in, too.

One day, we made chocolate chip cookies for the group. By hand (no mixer) and chopping up hershey's bars (by hand, with a knife). Then I mixed with my hands becuase the spoon wasnt working well. I did not take one lick, one nibble, one crumb of a cookie. I was so proud of my self control! Then when I smelled them baking, I did not eat one but took a plate to 10 guys who were sitting by the fire. They were so happy! Then on our ride the next day, I had 2 at lunch and they were the best things I think I ever had.
It was worth waiting for and because I CHOOSE when to have it, not caved into the desire, I appreciated it all the more.

This is a journey. I am still proud of my PROGRESS, not PERFECTION and although this has not been easy, it is definatly worth it and I know I can go anywhere,anytime and enjoy my life while being healthy.

My husband told me last night that he was "thrilled" with how much I have been able to do, (like walk and go upstairs etc) and that he is so excited about our future now that we can do so many more things together.
You think that isnt worth all the cookies in the universe to me?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 6/23/2010 12:26AM

    Sounds like you found a good guy there, one who notices your goals and supports you in your efforts. You should be proud, proud of yourself, you've done good. Glad you are having fun on vacation too!

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CLEVAGAL 6/20/2010 7:25PM

    I love hearing whats going on for you darlin, well done for hanging in there. I love the extra exercise and good food I get when Im on holidays!!! Cleva xxx

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HEALTHIERTINA 6/19/2010 8:18AM

  emoticon Way to enjoy your emoticon on your terms. I am thrilled for you and your husband!!! Enjoy the rest of your vacation. Keep up the excellent choices and progress.

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Just in case you might have been wondering....

Sunday, June 13, 2010

you may have wondered how I am doing while on vacation here in Utah. Well, every day we go quad riding, I am doing the best I can with my food and have tried to keep it in the parameters and am doing fairly well with that. But the biggest thing I am happy about is, I have walked every day. You may have read I had a goal to walk around this cabin area and I have completed the entire circuit for the last 2 days!! (the first day, I cut about 3/10 of a mile off). I am really happy with my progress, making the most of my choices and enjoying how much better I feel since the last time I was here. I look better, and feel better, and people are noticing which is really cool. My sister is here with me and it really helps having her support and keeping me motivated to keep moving!

Thanks for you support and sending me good thoughts. You strength helps me keep going.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 6/17/2010 10:45AM

    Soooo glad you are enjoying yourself - in more ways than one! You are staying active, paying attention to choice (good or bad), and involving your family (sister). I'll bet she enjoys helping you too!

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First day of actual vacation

Friday, June 11, 2010

We are up here at the cabin in Beautiful Utah! MY goal was to walk around the cabin area so I tracked it last night, thinking it would be well over 2 miles. It is actually about 1.25 miles, which is close to what I walk at home. There is some incline and some beautiful scenery so that made a pretty cool walk. I cut over on a small path which cut off about .20 of a mile but it gives me something to work towards. Man, the air is thin up here tho!!! Hope you are all well and I will blog more when I can! Keep sparkin'!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMADWARF 6/12/2010 11:34AM

    thanks you guys! we are having a blast!

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NEDERLUNG 6/11/2010 7:12PM

    Hey you mountain woman! Do you get to bucket house water from the stream? How about split and carry wood for the fire?

You know I'm just kidding you, right?

Oh, the air isn't thin - it's fresh, doesn't have all that city smog you are used to. Smiles. Hope you find some pretty stuff to take home for memorabelia, like a forty pound rock? No, I mean a fifty pound rock, because you are going to lose a bunch while you are there.

I hope it is a really pretty rock!

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TOWE2U 6/11/2010 2:00PM

    Anything you do is better than nothing! So keep on walking and kudos to you for keeping up with exercise even on vacation. emoticon emoticon

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