Thursday, February 24, 2011
I wrote a blog this morning about my weight loss and anniversary. 10 minutes later, I stepped of my deck to go to my office, my ankle rolled and I fell. Dropped the phone and the rest of my diet pepsi (waaaaaa! cause I only get one a day!!). The pain was immediate in my ankle and I took my shoe and sock off. Uh oh. Big baseball on the side of the ankle. Stitchy was so worried and laid down by me. I fumbled for my phone (Frank was working on a roof right around the corner) and I burst into tears. I started thinking about everthing I have to do this week, how Kady is having surgery Monday and how I need to be there to help her through that. I can NOT afford an injury.
So I called Frank and he headed home, I texted the girls and they came and helped me up. Frank took me to E. R. and I got xrayed. Sprained, not broken. Have this brace thing and orders to keep it iced, elevated and no walking. For a week.
Started crying again... I told the dr. I could only do that for the next 4 days and I told him why. He was awesome and just told me to do the best I could until then.
Anyway, it hurts like hell to put pressure on it, I have crutches (which is easier now than when I was heavier) and I am trying to do what is best for me for a few days. That means the big dinner theater event is not gonna happen. Tix are not refundable so the girls are going with my 2 neices. They will have a blast but I am really sad we cant go.
Frank is going to cook dinner for us, my girls went and got the stuff and brought me a bunch of bouquets of flowers. I guess the bright spot is I had a meeting saturday at a pizza place so I cant go there either. Im sad about that too but it is probably best since I wont be walking for awhile.
I always say "life can change in the blink of an eye". Why do I always have to be right?
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Yep! I made it! FINALLY out of the 230's! I have been there since October 20th!! That is a long time to lose 10 pounds! They were hardest 10 I have had to lose yet. I have left the 290's, 280's, 270's, 260's, 250's, 240's and 230's.
Even when my weight loss had slowed, even when it felt like I was making no progress, even when cake balls attacked my sensibilities during the holidays, I stayed with this program, I kept going. I did not give up.
Was it frustrating? Heck yea! But I never surrendered, I never gave up, I never thought I couldnt do it. It took longer that I wanted it to but I stuck it out. I had bad days of course, but overall, I just kept going.
I feel like now that I have broken that barrier, I will be able to more easily move forward and downward. But even if the next 10 takes that long too, I will keep going cause I'm not done yet. I originally set out to lose 110 pounds in 1 year. Well March 10th will be one year and as of today, I am down 62 pounds. I am ok with that. It is still huge progress and I have changed my life forever. I am not complaining. I reset my tracker to be done by December 10 of 2011. I will adjust as needed as I go along. I am past halfway there.
I am getting closer to one of my original goals which is to weigh less than Frank. He weighed in at 210 the other days and has strict orders to stay at that weight and wait for me. (I think I am safe since he just bought about 20 boxes of Girl Scout cookies from a friend). I am not going anywhere near those damn cookies!!
I also want to celebrate 21 years of Marriage today. In all the chaos of preparing for Kady's surgery Monday, we have barely had minute but tonight the we are taking the girls and going to a great dinner theater show and we are looking forward to it. We have been together for 25 years, married for 21, known each other for 34. There really are no words to tell you what he means to me or how lucky I feel to have such a wonderful man who loves me like he does. Is he perfect? Hell no. But he is perfect for me.
Today is a good day. I am blessed.
I just want to remind you to stick with this thing and do NOT give up. We are getting there, bit by bit.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Once upon a time, there was a woman who wore rose colored glasses. They made the world a beautiful, hazy place where things were bright, happy, and wonderful. She loved those glasses and wore them every day. They took the harsh edges off the sometimes cruel world and changed the reality to something she wanted to see.
One day she forgot to put her glasses on and she went about her day. She began to see things as they really were, and not the sunny, distorted place she wanted to see. So many things began to appear before her that she found interesting and not as bad as she thought they might be. Until she found herself gazing at her image in the mirror.
There, the reality was unkind. She was not "fluffy", she was fat. She was not "Bigger" she was huge. SHe was not "sturdy", she was obese. She stared at her image and it burned into her brain.
As she went back to her castle that day, she couldn't wait to get her glasses back on. But those images of her bothered her and by the time she got back to the safety of her glasses, she knew.
She knew she had to change, to try to get that "real" image closer to the image from the rose colored glasses.
So she began. She joined Sparkpeople, tracked her food, began to excercise and gradually, her shape began to change. She met many fair maidens and noble knights who encouraged her along her way. She kept those rose colored glasses in her night stand and did not put them on.
She missed those glasses, though. Sometimes the glare of the real world was too much and she longed to put the glasses on and soften the edges. But she was different now and she was trying to learn to live without them. The journey was a hard one at times.Sometimes people didn't understand that she was sad. She clearly saw the sadness and struggles that happened to people she knew and loved.
She was a naturally optomistic lady but sometimes it was a bit too difficult to remember to enjoy the sunshine, rainbows and unicorns when the clouds and thunderstorms hit.
One day, she put the glasses on again. She was having a bad day and needed a break from the life that was now hers. As she looked at her castle, her world, her self, she realized that she wanted to see the world in a clear light, she wanted to see the real her. She realized that those glasses had not simply softened the edges, they had indeed altered the reality. There had to be a balance! Perhaps a lighter shade of pink? A less intense shade?
So she did some tinkering and came up with the right combination. It allowed her to remain optomistic, to see the world in a palatable way that she could manage, yet showed her the reality and the beauty in what actually IS.
A friend reminded her to count her blessings and she would get through the challenges ahead and now she can have her glasses and also have the real world,too. It is not as scary as she thought and she finds that she can manage just fine. Although she still has a way to go to get where she wants to be, she can smile while she gets there.
Plus, she looks fantastic with and without her glasses and so does the rest of the world.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Yesterday, Frank and I were in the office and all of a sudden, this thought came into my mind. "Let's play hooky, and go to the movies!". I was in the middle of paying bills and Frank was working on an estimate so I tell him what I am thinking and he goes," Oh my god, I was JUST thinking that". (This is not the first time he has implanted ideas telepathically into my brain!) and we both started cracking up. So after lunch, we went to the movies and saw The Eagle (Roman quest movie) with that darling Channing Tatum (less clothes next time, please!). It was fun to sneak away and have some time just for us.
It is these little things that keep us sane, keep us friends and relieve some of the stress of life. Just a small thing but it was fun.
I have lost the weight I gained (except for .6 lbs) on vacation and I am determined to hit 229 before I head to the hospital on the 28th with Kady. That is my mantra: 229, 229, 229 cause I have been in the 230's FOREVER!!!
I have already started compiling some of the snacks I am going to take with me so I stay out of the vending machines during that time, like Luna bars and fiber plus bars and at least at the hospital they have salad bars and fresh fruit so I will be ok and of course, stick to my rule of one soda a day and water the rest of the time. I figure by walking around the perimeter of the hospital, that will be a mile or more and it will be a good stress reliever to, so I can do that a few times a day.. So I have a plan for that week.
This week however, I have several food related situations that will be challenging:
Saturday: Baby shower during the day (yea, I made the cake balls for it. Maybe I will post some pix for you).
Saturday: Crab feed at night (best pasta and french bread EVER! Will keep the salad in front of me!)
Sunday: Daytona 500 party. I am making sweet and sour meatballs (I can have 6) and spinach dip (I am making it fat free, they wont even notice!). Stay away from cheese (will picture MAIA for strength!)
Wednesday: All day Dr. appts to prepare for Kady's surgery. Which means lunch at a restaurant. Will try for a Chili's or Applebee's where they have great low cal options.
Thursday: 5 course Dinner Theater show in San Francisco for our wedding anniversary and to have fun before surgery. (Teatro Zanzinni) with Frank, Kelly and Kady. It is a kinda crazy play meets cirque de soleil type show and we are really looking forward to it!
Saturday: Racing meeting at a pizza parlor.
Uh, yeah. (*Headesk!* Thanks to HIS_BLONDIE for the visual). It is going to take planning, strength, and determination to dodge these mine fields. Can I do it?
Someone bet me cause that will help me stay on track and keep me focused.
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