Thursday, February 24, 2011
Yep! I made it! FINALLY out of the 230's! I have been there since October 20th!! That is a long time to lose 10 pounds! They were hardest 10 I have had to lose yet. I have left the 290's, 280's, 270's, 260's, 250's, 240's and 230's.
Even when my weight loss had slowed, even when it felt like I was making no progress, even when cake balls attacked my sensibilities during the holidays, I stayed with this program, I kept going. I did not give up.
Was it frustrating? Heck yea! But I never surrendered, I never gave up, I never thought I couldnt do it. It took longer that I wanted it to but I stuck it out. I had bad days of course, but overall, I just kept going.
I feel like now that I have broken that barrier, I will be able to more easily move forward and downward. But even if the next 10 takes that long too, I will keep going cause I'm not done yet. I originally set out to lose 110 pounds in 1 year. Well March 10th will be one year and as of today, I am down 62 pounds. I am ok with that. It is still huge progress and I have changed my life forever. I am not complaining. I reset my tracker to be done by December 10 of 2011. I will adjust as needed as I go along. I am past halfway there.
I am getting closer to one of my original goals which is to weigh less than Frank. He weighed in at 210 the other days and has strict orders to stay at that weight and wait for me. (I think I am safe since he just bought about 20 boxes of Girl Scout cookies from a friend). I am not going anywhere near those damn cookies!!
I also want to celebrate 21 years of Marriage today. In all the chaos of preparing for Kady's surgery Monday, we have barely had minute but tonight the we are taking the girls and going to a great dinner theater show and we are looking forward to it. We have been together for 25 years, married for 21, known each other for 34. There really are no words to tell you what he means to me or how lucky I feel to have such a wonderful man who loves me like he does. Is he perfect? Hell no. But he is perfect for me.
Today is a good day. I am blessed.
I just want to remind you to stick with this thing and do NOT give up. We are getting there, bit by bit.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Once upon a time, there was a woman who wore rose colored glasses. They made the world a beautiful, hazy place where things were bright, happy, and wonderful. She loved those glasses and wore them every day. They took the harsh edges off the sometimes cruel world and changed the reality to something she wanted to see.
One day she forgot to put her glasses on and she went about her day. She began to see things as they really were, and not the sunny, distorted place she wanted to see. So many things began to appear before her that she found interesting and not as bad as she thought they might be. Until she found herself gazing at her image in the mirror.
There, the reality was unkind. She was not "fluffy", she was fat. She was not "Bigger" she was huge. SHe was not "sturdy", she was obese. She stared at her image and it burned into her brain.
As she went back to her castle that day, she couldn't wait to get her glasses back on. But those images of her bothered her and by the time she got back to the safety of her glasses, she knew.
She knew she had to change, to try to get that "real" image closer to the image from the rose colored glasses.
So she began. She joined Sparkpeople, tracked her food, began to excercise and gradually, her shape began to change. She met many fair maidens and noble knights who encouraged her along her way. She kept those rose colored glasses in her night stand and did not put them on.
She missed those glasses, though. Sometimes the glare of the real world was too much and she longed to put the glasses on and soften the edges. But she was different now and she was trying to learn to live without them. The journey was a hard one at times.Sometimes people didn't understand that she was sad. She clearly saw the sadness and struggles that happened to people she knew and loved.
She was a naturally optomistic lady but sometimes it was a bit too difficult to remember to enjoy the sunshine, rainbows and unicorns when the clouds and thunderstorms hit.
One day, she put the glasses on again. She was having a bad day and needed a break from the life that was now hers. As she looked at her castle, her world, her self, she realized that she wanted to see the world in a clear light, she wanted to see the real her. She realized that those glasses had not simply softened the edges, they had indeed altered the reality. There had to be a balance! Perhaps a lighter shade of pink? A less intense shade?
So she did some tinkering and came up with the right combination. It allowed her to remain optomistic, to see the world in a palatable way that she could manage, yet showed her the reality and the beauty in what actually IS.
A friend reminded her to count her blessings and she would get through the challenges ahead and now she can have her glasses and also have the real world,too. It is not as scary as she thought and she finds that she can manage just fine. Although she still has a way to go to get where she wants to be, she can smile while she gets there.
Plus, she looks fantastic with and without her glasses and so does the rest of the world.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Yesterday, Frank and I were in the office and all of a sudden, this thought came into my mind. "Let's play hooky, and go to the movies!". I was in the middle of paying bills and Frank was working on an estimate so I tell him what I am thinking and he goes," Oh my god, I was JUST thinking that". (This is not the first time he has implanted ideas telepathically into my brain!) and we both started cracking up. So after lunch, we went to the movies and saw The Eagle (Roman quest movie) with that darling Channing Tatum (less clothes next time, please!). It was fun to sneak away and have some time just for us.
It is these little things that keep us sane, keep us friends and relieve some of the stress of life. Just a small thing but it was fun.
I have lost the weight I gained (except for .6 lbs) on vacation and I am determined to hit 229 before I head to the hospital on the 28th with Kady. That is my mantra: 229, 229, 229 cause I have been in the 230's FOREVER!!!
I have already started compiling some of the snacks I am going to take with me so I stay out of the vending machines during that time, like Luna bars and fiber plus bars and at least at the hospital they have salad bars and fresh fruit so I will be ok and of course, stick to my rule of one soda a day and water the rest of the time. I figure by walking around the perimeter of the hospital, that will be a mile or more and it will be a good stress reliever to, so I can do that a few times a day.. So I have a plan for that week.
This week however, I have several food related situations that will be challenging:
Saturday: Baby shower during the day (yea, I made the cake balls for it. Maybe I will post some pix for you).
Saturday: Crab feed at night (best pasta and french bread EVER! Will keep the salad in front of me!)
Sunday: Daytona 500 party. I am making sweet and sour meatballs (I can have 6) and spinach dip (I am making it fat free, they wont even notice!). Stay away from cheese (will picture MAIA for strength!)
Wednesday: All day Dr. appts to prepare for Kady's surgery. Which means lunch at a restaurant. Will try for a Chili's or Applebee's where they have great low cal options.
Thursday: 5 course Dinner Theater show in San Francisco for our wedding anniversary and to have fun before surgery. (Teatro Zanzinni) with Frank, Kelly and Kady. It is a kinda crazy play meets cirque de soleil type show and we are really looking forward to it!
Saturday: Racing meeting at a pizza parlor.
Uh, yeah. (*Headesk!* Thanks to HIS_BLONDIE for the visual). It is going to take planning, strength, and determination to dodge these mine fields. Can I do it?
Someone bet me cause that will help me stay on track and keep me focused.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
First of all, thank you, each one of you, for your sweet comments, support, goodies and love. I appreciate it so much and it has touched me deeply. TRULY deeply. I am gathering strength (and stoicism, robin!) from all of you. I feel bolsted up, I really do.
Now I want to talk about walnuts.
What the hell! 26 grams of fat???? In 22 walnut halves???Seriously? I dont care if it is good fat, I am never snacking on them again. No friggin wonder they taste so good! Walnuts are the devil!!! POO!! I keep thinking of the things I could have eaten with that much fat in them and walnuts do NOT make the cut, beleive DAT!
Today, I made a yummy fruit salad with fresh pineapple, strawberries, watermelon and apples. I am so excited about the upcoming fresh fruit and veggie season. It makes it easier for me to get my fruits in when it is all salad-y and cut up.
And here is something weird:
Last week when we went down south riding, I bought some green, (organic) bananas, figuring they would turn ripe within a few days, like any other ordinary banana. Apparantly, these are some sort of super strain that refuses to get ripe because it has been a WEEK and they are still GREEN! It is really weird and I spend a lot of time each day looking at them wondering when they are going to turn yellow. I will let you know when they become edible. Again, its weird.
So, I hope you are all well, eating good and doing your workouts cause we are busy people but we are putting ourselves right up there in the top 5 list of our lives and getting healthy, right? Right. Love you guys, really, really, really I do.
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