Wednesday, February 16, 2011
First of all, thank you, each one of you, for your sweet comments, support, goodies and love. I appreciate it so much and it has touched me deeply. TRULY deeply. I am gathering strength (and stoicism, robin!) from all of you. I feel bolsted up, I really do.
Now I want to talk about walnuts.
What the hell! 26 grams of fat???? In 22 walnut halves???Seriously? I dont care if it is good fat, I am never snacking on them again. No friggin wonder they taste so good! Walnuts are the devil!!! POO!! I keep thinking of the things I could have eaten with that much fat in them and walnuts do NOT make the cut, beleive DAT!
Today, I made a yummy fruit salad with fresh pineapple, strawberries, watermelon and apples. I am so excited about the upcoming fresh fruit and veggie season. It makes it easier for me to get my fruits in when it is all salad-y and cut up.
And here is something weird:
Last week when we went down south riding, I bought some green, (organic) bananas, figuring they would turn ripe within a few days, like any other ordinary banana. Apparantly, these are some sort of super strain that refuses to get ripe because it has been a WEEK and they are still GREEN! It is really weird and I spend a lot of time each day looking at them wondering when they are going to turn yellow. I will let you know when they become edible. Again, its weird.
So, I hope you are all well, eating good and doing your workouts cause we are busy people but we are putting ourselves right up there in the top 5 list of our lives and getting healthy, right? Right. Love you guys, really, really, really I do.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
When did I start buying this?
Instead of this?
I have definatly changed but baby, I still have a way to go.
I am in a weird headspace right now. I am trying not to withdraw and just feel what I am feeling but it is a hard balance with trying to be strong for my family, trying not to stuff my feelings down with food and damn it, I miss my cookies that help me through the hard times.
I am so concerned about Kady's upcoming surgery and trying not to stress out but as a mom, it is soo difficult.
We had quite a little moment today. She has been a whirlwind of activity lately, trying to cram as much into her life as possible before her body is altered permanently. (She is having an ileostomy Feb. 28th and will have an ostomy bag for the rest of her life). Her boyfriend took her away this weekend to the Kabuki Hotel in Japan town in San Francisco. They had a beautiful upgraded room, a fabulous dinner and a wonderful time. Today, we were talking and I told her how happy I was that they were able to do that. (I know some moms would have a problem with their 20 year old daughter going to a hotel with her boyfriend but they have been together since they were 15 and I am not stupid, so yea I assume there is a sexual relationship).
I was telling her how happy I was that they could be together privately before everything changed (and I mean it!) and I got choked up thinking of how much that time must have meant to the two of them. She started to tear up and we both couldnt even look at each other as we started to cry and she forbid me to say anything emotional to her for the next 2 weeks! We both started laughing. I cannot promise I won't say anything emo to her but man, I will sure feel like it. I am doing my best to respect her wishes and be strong for her so she can be strong too.
So if I am a little quiet, that is why. I am here, logging, tracking, eating ok and excercising and reading blogs even if I dont have a lot of time to comment. I am working double time to get things in order before I am at the hospital for a week so that means paying things, ordering things, scheduling things etc. for work so I can be there for my girl.
Love you guys... Me.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Hi guys, got home about 5. Had a great time in the desert of southern california at an event called "king of the hammers" which is basically driving around in the dirt in our toys with other crazy people. There are these huge long races and rock crawling vehicles that look like something out of Mad Max. I have a link to my facebook if you want to see pictures of the trip.
We drove down with one of our friends in his Rv and he sweetly gave us his big bed and he slept on his couch so we had all the comforts of home. Shared cooking duties with our friends so she made breakfasts each day and I did dinners. Took sandwiches with us when we went riding for the day. I enjoyed my captain morgan and diet pepsi and it was nice to not have to be the designated driver. I took a few walks, ate fairly well but still went over my calories and such but again, like you read every time I go somewhere, life (and Captain) happen. Back to walking the dog this week and staying in range and anything I gained, I will lose.
Tomorrow is Valentines day which does not mean the same thing to me as it does to most people. 5 years ago, my dad passed away on Valentines day. It was really fitting tho becuase my mom had been dead for 12 years at that point. He grieved for her as much the day she died as the day he went to join her. They had a remarkable love. It always seemed kind of perfect that he passed away on the "day of love". I will buy cards and small gifts for my girls tomorrow and of course, my hubby. I have strict instructions for no candy to be brought into the house for me tomorrow. Please. A girl can only take so much.
So tomorrow I will be grateful for true love in my life. Past and present. I wish the same for you all too. Talk tomorrow, ok? love ya!
Thursday, February 03, 2011
I finally, finally, finally hit the 60 pound mini goal weight loss! I have been waiting a long time for that one my friends. It has been the hardest 10 pounds I have lost so far. I feel like I can now keep moving forward and get busy with losing the rest of the weight. I am officially over 1/2 way (I set out to lose 111 pounds). So hear it is, 1 week shy of 11 months and I made it.
About the 7 month mark, I realized I was not going to lose all the weight in a year like I thought so I adjusted my tracker, my reality and attitude and here I am. Still here, still losing, still trying, still starting over every day (Thanks BAYBELIEVER for that blog....so true!)
So today is a big, healthy WOOOHOOOO from me! Progress, not perfection! (Now I am less than 2 pounds away from getting into my 220's~!!! Gotta have a goal, ya know!)
Thanks for being with me every step of the way. I cannot tell you what that has meant to me. You are all my favorite people. Each one of you... (Hey I feel a blog coming on.). Jan
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