Friday, January 07, 2011
Found out this morning that I lost a friend last night. SJ was not even 50 years old. She has hilarious,brilliant, vibrant, outrageous and one of my favorite people to see. We saw each other occasionally over the last 10 years or so, at a party or on a vacation.
IN the last few years, she became bulimic. Then alchoholic. Then substance abuse. He tried sooo hard to save her. She was in and out of rehab, halfway houses, apartments, living with her mom, coming back home. It has been a hard road. He never gave up on her. He tried and tried to save her. She had a 20 year old daughter and 20 year old stepson.
He found her last night. Gone.
All I can think is what a waste of a life. She had it all. Beauty, a faithful and loving family, intellect that provided her a good job. Then it all went haywire. She could not pull it together and now she is gone. There are no more chances. Not for her, not for her family.
People, I know we already know but Life is short. It is precious. I am proud of us for realizing that and trying to make the best of what we have. Keep fighting, keep trying to make the best of it. I am going to.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Took Kady to the crohns specialist at UCSF yesterday. Basically, more testing, more waiting. They think they may be able to do a bowel resection instead of a complete colostomy but she needs blood tests, ct scans etc to see. So we will go through all of that and see. I liked the dr. but SF sucks! Traffic and parking is a nightmare and I really hope we dont have to do too many procedures there but we will do what we have to do.
There are a lot of ups and downs with this disease and while I am staying positive, I know the dangers of getting our hopes up so I am in "maintainance" mode and just going to go through the stuff, day by day and we shall see what is next.
Kady is frustrated. She is tired of being sick and she said she would rather do a complete colostomy now than go through a bunch of surgeries, just to end up with a bag. She would like to get it over with so she can get on with her life.
She said if it is only going to buy her 6 months, she doesnt want to do it. If it can buy her years, before having to have the bag, then it would be worth it.
It is a very emotional issue so I think we need to just sit with it for now, go through the testing and take it one day at a time. I am so going to speak to her regular dr. (whom we love!) and see what he thinks about this plan.
I want to thank you all for your support and prayers. Yep, I sure do appreciate that so much. Jan
Monday, January 03, 2011
So I weighed in today after all the pigginess of christmas and vacation. I gained less than half a pound while I was away. While I am up about 4 pounds before christmas, I feel alot better about being able to get this weight off and keep going to my goals.
So I am not whining (cause we all know I hate that!) I am just being accountable here and letting you know I am here, I am continuing on and I am going to get there. So are you.
Progress, not perfection!
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Hey guys! hope all is well. I am on my way home and will get there tomorrow. I am looking forward to being home. It has been a pretty out of control few weeks. Between the baking and eating during christmas and barely any excercise this week and not eating well and guessing instead of tracking... well. um. yeah.
SO monday, I will weigh in. If you hear a gun shot from where you live, do not be alarmed. Only one of us made it out alive, me or the scale.
Then I will post it, honestly, on my tracker and get back to eating well and walking. It wil probably take me most of January to get rid of the weight I gained but what the heck. At least I will lose it and keep going on to the rest of my goals.
Still looking for that 60 pound weight loss (and beyond) so I am ready to get back to it.
Hope you are all well and had a great New Years celebration. Now, with a new year ahead, I am looking forward to all of our time together and supporting each other through all of our triumphs and challenges. Moving on, right?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
One thing I learned this week: Sugar, fat and snacking are no longer my comfort zone. They make me feel horrible.
My new comfort zone (and yes, this was shocking) is walking, eating healthy meals, not eating just to eat but because I am hungry,and tracking my food so I know where I am at.
I cant just eat randomly anymore. I cant tell you how many times I said to myself this week "I cant beleive I always used to eat like that!"
I think I learned a valuable lesson and my scale backed it up. Its cool. I am on vacation and consider it a detox. I will be down when I get home. Absolutely. And back on track.
Then I will feel comfortable again. So today, I hit the dunes in Glamis (arizona, california border near Yuma) and will be gone till New Years day. Gonna get some sparking in but not much.
Take care and be good. 2011 is coming and it is gonna be our year! WOot!
Get An Email Alert Each Time MAMADWARF Posts