Thursday, November 11, 2010
Today, I stopped by my daughter's new workplace to see her in action at her new job. She was doing great but they were swamped so I bought a water and then left.
Anyway, when I was walking to my truck (after taking the stairs, not the elevator or escalator, thank you very much!), I noticed my shadow in front of me.
So I was watching us walk along and I realized: I dont hate my shadow anymore. In fact, my shadow had a pretty good hip sway going on and a jaunty little step as well. My shadow isn't gross like it used to be. In fact, my shadow was quite curvy and looked pretty good. Even from the side! So I guess I made a new friend today. Sweet. (I guess it also safe to assume we will be having 6 more weeks of winter, just in case you were wondering).
Thursday, November 11, 2010
So today is my official weekly weigh in. I am up 2 pounds. Believe me, I did NOT want to put that in my tracker but I made myself a deal to do that every week, no matter what so I did it.
I am telling you because I never knew that having stress could cause weight gain!
I live with alot of stress on a daily basis. Between running 2 businesses, a family, Racing obligations (we run a racing association for free, I mean, for fun!) there is alot going on. But that is every day stress and not different from any other day.
Monday was bad news about my daughter but we are already absorbing and dealing with that. (She has a referral to a top Crohn's specialist at UCSF but no appointment yet. Hopefully soon). I felt the stress in my body that day and still do.
I am sore, achy, HUNGRY and my body just feels like it is holding on to everything (do you know what I mean?).
It has taken a lot of will power to stop myself at the top of my nutrition range each day. It is interesting to me to be noticing how I am feeling. I realized that I used to feel this crappy every day! But I wouldnt walk and I would eat until I felt better. It is uncomfortable.
I have stuck to my nutrition, walked 2 out of 3 days so far this week (tonight will be 3 out of 4) so nothing is different.Been drinking the water as usual. I normally do not gain weight for no reason. I think I have only been "up" a few times since I began this and can usually figure out why without too much trouble.
Am I in some sort of adrenaline-fight-or-flight mode? I guess I just need to sit with being uncomfortable, try to do my job, be a mommy and stay the course. Have any of you experience stress related weight gain while sticking with your program?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hello my sparkies! Today is 8 months here on spark. Hard to believe how much things have changed since then! I have lost 55 pounds so that is half what I want to lose. I have made some amazing friends that I cant remember being without.
I live a pretty healthy life nowadays and I like it. Alot.
I woke up to a million messages on my spark page and I was thinking I got hacked or something but then found out I am "Done girl of the day" which is a team I joined a bit ago. A bunch of rockin' babes are on the team and they name a DGOTD every day and apparantly, that is ME today!
I guess we all get to that point where we are just DONE with the weight and all the baggage that comes with it. I know I was. I know you were.
But I am not done losing and I am not done fighting or tracking or walking. So while I appreciate the honor of being DGOTD, I am not done and I won't forget it.
So I am done and not done and that makes me what, medium rare?
Monday, November 08, 2010
Every day, all I hear is how you want to be smaller! How is that gonna work?
You have HUGE hearts!!!What will contain them if you are tiny?
How will it be possible for me to feel your HUGS from around the world or cry on your gigantic shoulders (Thanks T!) if you guys shrink?
Your legs HAVE to be so big to stand beside me like you do! Your hands have to reach out sooooo far to get to me!
You are larger than life, massive forces in my life, solid ground beneath my feet, today and every day. I cannot imagine any one of you smaller. In fact, every day, you grow. In my heart, my esteem, my respect, my fondness, my gratitude.
I guess it will be ok if you lose weight, just dont lose who you. Some things are not replaceable.
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