MAMADWARF   44,876
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MAMADWARF's Recent Blog Entries

Birthday Blog

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Today is my birthday and I am pretty happy about it. Yes, I am 49 today and closing the gap on 50 and I dont think I can remember a time when I have felt so good, so healthy and yes, even happy.

Losing weight and getting healthy has changed the way I think about things, made me more positive and energetic, less cranky and more confidant in my abilities. That is my gift this year.

Plans today include a movie with my girls, sister, and neice then dinner later.

I really wanted todays blog to be annoucing that I had lost 50 lbs but alas, I am a pound away so perhaps on Thursday which is my official weigh in day (sunday is my team weigh in day). I plan on staying on track today because I really, really want to hit that big number. It has been looming on the horizon since the start. That is my biggest mini goal and when I started, it was so far down the road, I couldnt even imagine it. Now? It is only a few meals away and I am thrilled with the progress I have made.

I thank you all for your support, your well wishes, your friendship and sharing the journey with me. Life is good and I am grateful.

Shoutout to Graceisenuf7 as we share the same birthday today! Libra's rullllllleeeee! lol.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIVASPARK 9/29/2010 6:10PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Have a great birthday, sorry its late!

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KIMMYCRIS 9/28/2010 10:16PM

    Happy, happy birthday Jan! What a wonderful gift to give yourself this year! Getting fit and eating healthy....awesome!! I hope this year continues to be filled with blessings to you!


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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/28/2010 7:15PM

    Happy Happy Birthday To YOU!!!!!!!!

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BIGMAMAT 9/28/2010 7:01PM

    Hey woman, cancers rock! lol. Hope you had a wonderful birthday and I can't wait to celebrate your big 50 pounds lost.

Keep the date... 7/7 is MY birthday and I want to be in new york city with you showing Al and Matt our sexy new bods! lol. GRIN.

Love you!!!! Tricia emoticon emoticon

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BTINTERNET 9/28/2010 4:23PM

    Happy birthday dear!! emoticon

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MAIA2011 9/28/2010 3:40PM

    No, scorpios rule!

Have a very happy birthday today. You have accomplished a lot and you deserve an awesome day!

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TIKITAMI 9/28/2010 3:31PM

   

Happy birthday!

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GRACEISENUF 9/28/2010 3:23PM

    Hope this birthday is the bestest ever! My son passed his driving test and lunch with him was just more than any Mom could ask for on her birthday.....little sweet charmer that he is, lol!

CONGRATS on all your accomplishments, YOU ROCK as a spark friend!
xoxoxox
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MINIDRIVER63 9/28/2010 3:14PM

    Happy Birthday! And 49 pounds by your 49th birthday is a terrific achievement! emoticon

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ATREAT4ME 9/28/2010 2:27PM

    Happy birthday! I love Libras and I married one.

Today's blog is a beautiful present to give yourself. I love what you've written about feeling healthy and happy. I think this is especially poignant after reading about you in a nutshell. Combined, the two blogs really emphasize your choice to be happy. Just a beautiful birthday present to yourself. Perfect.

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WATCHMEGO2 9/28/2010 2:17PM

    Yes, Libra's do rule!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that you see what you want to see on the scale on Thursday!! You have worked so hard for it!!

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TREASURINGLIFE 9/28/2010 12:12PM

    emoticon HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! emoticon

I hope you have a FANTASTIC day! :) Enjoy yourself and I'll be looking forward to Thursday's announcement about hitting that 50-pounds-lost goal! :)

- Michelle

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PATTICAKE1044 9/28/2010 12:02PM

  Happy Birthday! Libras do rule! We are so balanced--sometimes, that is! Good luck on the 50--you got it!
Patti
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BRIAEL 9/28/2010 11:28AM

    Many Happy Returns, Jan! Hope your birthday rolls out to be the best ever, as it sounds like you have a lot planned. :)

Looking forward to the fireworks at 50 lbs down! I'm watching THIS space! :)

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JHADZHIA 9/28/2010 11:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Hope you have a fabulous birthday!!
And 50-1 is a TREMENDOUS achievement!!
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This is me cheering you on to the big 50
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What the F? and I dont mean FALL! Photo HELP needed!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Ok who else has problems uploading photo's into blogs? I will select a picture then click upload and nothing happens, then the screen goes back to where you say upload and it wont do it....Sometimes I can get 1 or 2 pics up but then it wont load anymore... sooooo annoying!!!!!! Help? Ideas?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUDLECRAZY 9/27/2010 6:13PM

    I have that problem on Spark periodically. I just remain doggedly determined to load the photos. Occasionally, I'll post the blog, then go back in and post the rest of the photos. It's annoying, but it only happens periodically. I think it might be related to how much K you are trying to load.

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JRZG8R 9/27/2010 6:11PM

    It could be file size. I did a blog today with 3 photos no problem but they were small files less then 100 kb emoticon

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BTINTERNET 9/27/2010 5:11PM

    I was having problems the other day - sometimes it seemed like specific pictures, sometimes it would just wait and not start, etc. Took some perseverence to get all mine up.

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CLEVAGAL 9/27/2010 4:41PM

    I dont have any trouble although it does take a while!

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NEDERLUNG 9/27/2010 4:33PM

    I have dialup, so uploads are double duty. But I have usually found that if I keep the picture to about 600 pixels (not as clear), it works.

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SEESTARS 9/27/2010 4:29PM

    My uploads are also glitchy. But I blame my work's lack of good internet.

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TIKITAMI 9/27/2010 3:00PM

   
It's not you, it takes me 5 or 6 tries sometimes.

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Surprise by my hubby today

Monday, September 27, 2010

Today my husband told me he was taking me to Pacific Grove for lunch for an early birthday present. It on the monterey bay and where my family is from. Also,One of my favorite places in the world. So we went and had lunch (Halibut and Prawns, super yummy!), stayed on track nutritionally and even went to a chocolate store where I bought one (yes, 1) chocolate. We walked down to the beach where I got a flyer and some information about Kayaking (which will be my reward for losing 50 pounds) and we will go back and do it in a few weeks. Then we went to another beach and sat and people watched. It was nice day and a sweet surprise from my Honey. Hope you guys had a great weekend, I did!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BTINTERNET 9/27/2010 5:16PM

    As far as the kayaking, I think going with a guide is good the first time just to get the feel of it (I'm assuming you haven't done it before). Keep in mind that it is full body - you will use your hips and thighs to keep you in the boat (more or less), you will twist at the core while paddling and your arms will get a good workout. One tip is to not grab the paddle too tightly. A lot of people end up more sore than they needed from hanging on for dear life. It's really a push and pull motion, and you don't need a tight grip.

As for photos, yes, you can bag your camera, or better yet get one of those disposable waterproof ones. You'll want a croakie for your glasses/sunglasses (strap to hold them on) and probably a pair of water-shoes (I like the ones that are neoprene on top and rubber on the bottom although for years I paddled in Teva sandals. Make sure everything you bring with you a) can get wet and b) has a way to be attached to the boat (either in the hatch, under the deck cords, clipped on with a carabiner, etc.) And needless to say, lots of sunscreen, big hat, etc.

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NEDERLUNG 9/27/2010 4:32PM

    Oh how sweet (the hubby, not the chocolate). And great spur of the moment planning on your part too (making good choices that you could enjoy)! I am so proud of you and cannot wait for that kayak trip - you know you can put your camera in a freezer ziploc and it will be waterproof? Smiles - Debie

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GRACEISENUF 9/27/2010 4:21PM

    Sounds great! Tomorrow is our big day....my hub has to work so my son is taking me out...WOO HOO!

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MAIA2011 9/27/2010 3:06PM

    That was so cool what your husband said. Sometimes they are really worth keeping!

Also, don't tell me where the chocolate store is!

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ZURDTA- 9/27/2010 1:53PM

    Wonderful... just wonderful!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/27/2010 12:32PM

    That sounds wonderful!

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TEENY_BIKINI 9/27/2010 11:36AM

    Awwww... just so sweet, but you certainly deserve the best, gorgeousness.

Happy Birthday!

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MAMADWARF 9/27/2010 9:25AM

    I think the best part was Frank told me," You know, it still blows me away to see you walking everywhere! You just got out of the truck and start walking and it isn't even a thought! Thats amazing!"

It really made me happy becuase it seems like such a tiny thing, that we all take for granted but before, I would have waited at the top of the stairs, he would have walked down to the beach and got a flyer (oh wait, no he wouldnt cause we wouldnt have been planning on kayaking), then we would have drove the rest of the time. Instead, we parked like 1/2 mile away, we both walked down to the beach, then walked around some houses for rent (and sale but that isnt gonna happen so...) and when we parked for lunch, it was pretty far away.

It is just really nice that he noticed, that he mentioned it and that it made him happy that we can do things like that together.
I am really excited about Kayaking and I know I am going to love it! (Stepping up the ST for the arms!). He is already planning a white water trip (um, I dont know about THAT!) but it's exciting to be more active and doing new things with my Honey. Thanks for the comments, you guys.. Have a great week!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 9/27/2010 8:57AM

    Aww, that sounds awesome. What a nice hubby :).

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BTINTERNET 9/27/2010 8:54AM

    What a wonderful surprise! And you'll love kayaking, especially there! (I used to teach it, although not there alas.)

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TREASURINGLIFE 9/27/2010 7:54AM

    Awww - sounds wonderful!!! :) And great job making healthy choices and staying totally on track. Remember that whenever you feel the need to "splurge" in order to "enjoy" life -- and remind me (and anyone else who needs it), that you can have a WONDERFUL day and enjoy all kinds of things without having to go over your calorie goals and go off plan! :)

- Michelle

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BIGMAMAT 9/27/2010 7:03AM

    I am soooo glad you had a wonderful day! I am proud of you for making healthy choices. One piece of chocolate. Who does that anyway! Woohoo. Go girl! Hugs. T emoticon

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KATRIONAH 9/27/2010 1:04AM

    What a happy blog. Made me smile. It sounds like you had a super early birthday present. Your husband sure made it possible for you to have a GREAT day!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing with us. Have a joy filled week...and remember to share your beautiful smile.....Karen emoticon

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TIKITAMI 9/27/2010 12:45AM

   
What a great way to spend your birthday.

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ATREAT4ME 9/27/2010 12:29AM

    Sweet! I love it.

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MARLINDA5 9/27/2010 12:11AM

    Happy Birthday - sounds like you had a really nice day.

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Me, in a nutshell.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Ok, well, this has been on my mind for a while now. Alot of people I read say that Positive blogs make them feel less able to relate to the writer. That they want to read what is REAL and the struggles people I have. I can understand that because things are not always sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. People want to know that when they are struggling, someone GETS that.

I tend to blog fairly positive things. That is just me. I have been trying to think of a struggle or something to write about but you know what? Right now, at this point of my life, I am feeling quite fantastic! I have physical energy, my crankiness is gone, I am doing well losing weight, I have embraced my new lifestyle, I like to motivate and inspire and uplift people so I love SparkPeople because I get to do that.

But I want you all to know: When you are struggling, sad, depressed, kicking your own ass, tired, petulant or hurt, I am here. I GET you. I do. I have been all of those things. Because I am not that TODAY does not mean I havent been where you are or that I wont be where you are again.

Here is my life in a quick, no- nonsense list of the struggles I have been through in my almost 49 years:

I met my current husband when I was 14. I lost him many times until we finally stuck.
I married my first husband when I was 18. By 19, I was widowed. He drowned in my parents pool, swimming by himself.
My brother in law passed away 5 years after my first husband. By drowning. Leaving my sister and 2 little girls alone.
I married an abuser as a rebound for the pain of my loss after being addicted to drugs and alcohol and ended up in jail for drunk driving.
I fled my 2nd husband with my 6 month daughter because I could not bear the thought of that kind of life for her. She saved me.
I married Frank, he adopted Kelly, and then we had Kady.
We have our own business(es) which is a challenge because we work together and in this economy, it has been a true struggle off and on over the years.
My oldest daughter battled depression a teenager.
My Mom passed away.
My Father passed away.
MY 20 year old daughter was diagnosed with Crohns disease when she was 15. She almost died and I have watched her battle this insidious disease with dignity, grace and strength. It is incurable but we have not given up the fight.
Many brother in laws have come and gone, my favorite neice has spent the last year going through an extremly painful divorce and yes, my favorite dog died.

All those things have changed me, shaped me, made me empathetic to people's pain and made me want to be able to tell those who suffer that they can overcome, there is light at the end of the tunnel, that life can be good if you choose to make it that way. That life is precious, short and worth every tear, every drop of sweat, every burst of laughter and every memory that we can make. So yea, I get you and Im here.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRAINYBLONDE5 9/27/2010 12:44PM

    this post is incredible. i barely have the words to express my emotions. but wow, you truly have been through it all && its a blessing that you are still so uplifting and motivating to people, including me. thank you for overcoming your obstacles & being such a great person :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 9/27/2010 8:59AM

    I love your blogs. People on here often put too much weight on their own opinions. Screw them, write about what you care about.

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NEDERLUNG 9/26/2010 6:56PM

    So what if your blogs are positive - they are your blogs and who thinks they have the right to sensor you anyway? OK, maybe I missed something here, but I love your blogs and I want to hang around with positive people, not downers, grippers, sulkers, why me, etc.

Now, if you get down occasionally, I want to know about it so I can help pick you back up.

But I truly believe positive attracts positive and I am positive about that! Smiles - Debie

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/26/2010 10:43AM

    Jan,
I love your blogs and all the positvity (is that a word?) it inspires. I liked this blog, I think all the things that people go through really make them who they are. After reading this, I can see why you're are such a strong woman.

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BIGMAMAT 9/25/2010 4:27PM

    Jan, You are the best. You make me laugh, you move me to tears ... You inspire me. You are real. You are special and I truly adore you. I am glad you get me. Thats it. I am done. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/25/2010 4:28:23 PM

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GRACEISENUF 9/25/2010 4:26PM

    I like your upbeat blogs and I also liked reading this one. What I like about you the most is that you are loo% REAL!!!

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MAMADWARF 9/25/2010 4:00PM

    I hope my point came across that basically, I am here. I have been through a lot and I understand. That was my point in putting my life on display. I think it is important to reach out when you are having a tough situation and I certainly have done that when I had a need and there is always someone there. That is why SP works, that is why I love it. We are not alone and isnt that the universal human desire? To know that? I know it keeps me going...

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NICA131 9/25/2010 2:35PM

    Well it seems to be the day for these "type" of blogs.

You threw yourself out there further than I did and I applaud you.

You should write blogs about what and how you want to. Readers have the choice to read on or click the little X and go find something more to their liking.
If upbeat is what feels good to you than upbeat it should be!

You need to worry about you and make you HAPPY! You have been through enough to be bothered by Negative Nellies


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TIKITAMI 9/25/2010 2:12PM

   
I love the upbeat blogs and this blog is the reason why. Life is precious. We can look at the struggles we had to go through to get where we are and be bitter or we can embrace life for all the good it has given us and what we have done with our opportunities and stuggles.

The positive blogs on this site inspire me. You inspire me.

I do feel for the negative ones, we all have those days but we can't let that consume who we are.

Thanks for posting this.

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MAIA2011 9/25/2010 1:37PM

    Now I feel shallow for just being impressed that you have lost fifty pounds. You are a true survivor!

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Out of the mouths of Babe's (or little friggin' brats, depending)

Friday, September 24, 2010

So I am at Target, getting some items. There is a guy behind me with his 5 year old daughter. She is buying Scooby snacks and asks daddy if it is there turn yet. He says, " as soon as the guy is done with this lady, it will be our turn". She turns at looks at me, looks at daddy and says in a LOUD WHISPER, that only children can do, " She's fat!".

Dad tells her, "Elizabeth, you dont say that, its not nice" . Lots of thing went through my mind but I turned to her with one of my most charming smiles and said,"You know what? I used to be fatter but I lost 50 pounds. That is more than you weigh. " Blank stare, daddy mutters something about it being awesome and I continued (with a smile) " and I am going to lose more and then I will be the one in line buying Scooby snacks".

Paid for my stuff, went to my truck and here they come, parked right in front of me. Dad gives me an embarrased smile and I smiled back and drove away.

So I feel alot of different ways about it but basically, this thought keeps running through my mind: "Well, ain't that a bitch!!"

LOL.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RJANE40 9/28/2010 7:29AM

    Way to handle that situation! And kudos to the dad for teaching his daughter that there are some things that you just keep to yourself.

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TONYA1BRYANT 9/27/2010 9:49AM

    That was a GREAT response! Use the encounter as motivation in the future emoticon

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TREASURINGLIFE 9/27/2010 9:20AM

    LOL - dang kids!! You handled it wonderfully though. :)

- Michelle

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HEALTHYASHLEY 9/27/2010 9:10AM

    I have had several kids call me fat before and not one of their parents handled it as well as he did. At least he told her it was inappropriate! Good for you for saying something!

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NEDERLUNG 9/26/2010 6:51PM

    Kids don't get it, but it still stings, even knowing where you came from. Of course, you could have retaliated and told her that you got fat eatting scooby snacks - but then how cruel does one want to be to a kid.

Jan - look in that mirror - you are beautiful, you have lost over a bag of dog food (can't wait until there is one on each of your shoulders) and you are so much healthier for it. Love ya - Debie

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UHYEAHABOUTTHAT 9/25/2010 2:13PM

    I wanted to point out its not always the parents who are to blame for children being rude. And often, with little ones, they won't know they are being rude. (however, if they're older than like 7, they know better.) My grandmother is a large woman and she's also very outspoken. She is odd in ways because she'll like, announce, how fat she is and make comments like, "Here comes the fat old lady" to my son (or to people in general). He picks up on it and he'll comment about her being fat. We've (my husband, my mother, my father, etc) all tried to teach him about how to be courteous, how everyone is different, etc...but my grandmother blows it off and tells him, "It's okay! Its no secret I'm fat!" and she'll poke her own belly...and make him do it, too. *groans. She doesn't get it (or doesn't want to get it) and refuses to see what is wrong with "being honest." Granted, I know she's an exception...But, things are not always as they seem. It makes it embarrassing for me if/when he decides to point out something as sensitive as that. Partially because I don't expect him to say such things and I don't say such things.
I do like how you handled the situation. It was really appropriate given the circumstance. If I were the dad in this situation with my kid, in a way, I think I would have been embarrassed, too, but also thankful for how you handled it. It probably sparked a good conversation for her and her father, and also taught her that fat people are nice. If you had reacted angrily at her she'd probably think that fat people are mean. Kids are that simple.


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DAISY443 9/25/2010 12:28PM

    Handled beautifully! I had acne as an adolescent and once in a store a little boy asked my why I had holes in my face. I told him it was because I said rude things to adults when I was a child. I still feel guilty about that, but not very!

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ROBINSNEWNEST 9/25/2010 11:52AM

    You handled it beautifully -- as you are!

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Robin

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ELLIEFAR 9/25/2010 10:32AM

  I have to say, well handled. Kids can he horrible can't they. emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 9/25/2010 1:01AM

    That dad probably wanted to crawl in a hole. lol. I bet he and little miss Elizabeth had a nice little chat on the way home. emoticon

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THREEE 9/25/2010 12:20AM

    you handled it graciously... i'm with GRACEISENUF7(and who ELSE could speak of 'grace'?)...the parents have helped teach the 5yo that it is okay to speak about people being 'fat'--JUDGING?

i really would like to come up with something succinct such as, "my mommy/daddy didn't teach me about eating and exercise, BUT they DID teach me about MANNERS--maybe yours will soon!"
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and despite what the 'friggin' brat' said, YOU know we love you...and YOU are slender enough to get thru that little wire that goes into my computer!!!--
and 1 other piece of wisdom...when you hit your goal weight, and i mean your ABSOLUTE goal weight, SOMEONE will think you 'could still stand to lose a few'...

oh, and one other thing...when i was driving that standard shift VW eating, drinking and shifting in the 3 feet of snow, i had 1 leg in a cast and the other was barefoot and the heat in the car didn't work so i was wiping the undefrosted windshield while balancing everything else...no brag, just fact emoticon


p.s.even if YOU don't think i'm funny, i am having a GOOD time telling you of my feats

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MAIA2011 9/25/2010 12:05AM

    You handled that with such grace that I got goosebumps! Nice job.

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ASHARON 9/24/2010 9:03PM

    I would to say great parenting skills. Back in the good ole days if I said that I would get slapped twice in the mouth. Once by my parernt and once by the lady.
Boy how times have changed and not for the good.
Way to handle it correctly.


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/24/2010 8:52PM

    I had a very similar experience at my kids' school. It's actually what made me decide to change my life. I was really hurt when that kid said "your mommy's fat." But I was more upset for my son. Kids speak the truth and like GRACEISENUF7 said, they hear that stuff from their parents. Loved your "lesson" and hopefully that dad will go home and teach his kid some manners.

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THEBOSSYQUEEN 9/24/2010 8:51PM

  emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 9/24/2010 8:43PM

    I just have to add this....the parents are the ones that are responsible for what comes out of their little "babes" mouth.

Comment edited on: 9/24/2010 8:44:20 PM

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GRACEISENUF 9/24/2010 8:41PM

    I'll vote for the friggin brat, that works for me.

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ELLYN63 9/24/2010 8:30PM

    Way to go with a great comeback! emoticon

We don't need to be embarrassed - kids are kids and they will blurt things out without trying to be mean. I have a physical abnormality with my hands that is quite obvious and I often get stares and insensitive comments. I use those moments to do a quick mini-lesson, just as you did, and that often serves the purpose well. More often than not the adult with the child is more embarrassed. And they both have learned a good lesson.

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