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My upcoming weekend (a bit nervous)

Friday, September 17, 2010

So this weekend, we are going to my in-laws about 2 hours away. I have known these people since I was 14 years old. It is my sister in laws 50th birthday and should be fun BUT (isnt there always a but when it comes to family), I am always putting on my armour when I go.

They tend to talk a lot of crap. Not always directly but underneath you know what I mean? Like they are all very overwieght. I used to fit in just fine. Now I think my weight loss makes them nervous. When I go, I usually bring a salad or fruit or have Luna Bars tucked in my purse, just in case. In a way, I think they are happy for me but in another way, it makes them feel bad about themselves, threatened. So it is awkward. My Mother in law, asked me last night, what could I eat. (she is a terrible so hubby and I said, let us take you out tonight for dinner. That way, I can have what is good for me and we dont have to eat her food!

Tomorrow is hamburgers and hotdogs ( I am bringing 97% fat free hot dogs for me), fatty potato salads, chips ( I will bring baked chips) and pasta salad (which I am making so it will be healthy). And of course, cakes. Not just one but two. Im sure I will adjust my calories so I can have a small peice. I feel like they watch everything I eat now. It's weird.

There is always tension. I dont want to go into all the reasons for it, there are so many dynamics and it really reads like a soap opera (I just wrote and re-read it all then deleted it). My girls are coming with their boyfriends who are great guys. The 4 of them are coming on their own so they can come for a few hours and then leave. We are going tonight and staying 1 or 2 nights.

My girls boyfriends are supergreat. I would be proud to have them as official son in laws. They are good looking, respectful, good to my girls. I love them. That family makes no effort with them. At all. Why? They are polite (for them) but dont talk to the boys or try to get to know them. It makes my girls very uncomfortable, obviously. Why, you ask? Because they are both mexican. It is upsetting to me that some people are so narrow minded. Then I get protective of them all. (Considering the kids on that side of the family (from 20-30 years old) have all been knocked up, kids with no spouse etc, my kids are friggin angels in committed relationships.

They are stressed out about going. I would tell them they dont have to go but my husband insists that they go. He really tries to keep the family together and get past petty crap. It is a challenge. My girls were soooo stressed about it last night and just dreading going, it makes me sad. They sat on the front patio last night, talking, doing crafts and listening to music. I went out to say good night and they wanted me to sit and talk so I did.

I tried to tell them it would be ok blah blah but man, I dont even beleive that. I am happy about one thing tho. It made it clear to me that they are best friends, that when I am dead and gone, they will have each other and that makes me so happy. I think when Frank is gone, they will never see that side of the family again. That is kinda sad but I guess you reap what you sow.

I am a peacemaker at heart. It is my nature. Smooth the waters, make it better, mediate. I dont know. Maybe this weekend I will just sit back and let it

Anyway, thanks for reading. I am going to take my laptop so I can track my food, I will get a walk or two in and stay on track. Cant weigh in for 10/10/10 until monday since I wont be home sunday am but I will weigh in then. OH! The best part??? There is 3 week old puppies up there that I get to see and play with... 15 Brittany spaniels! I will take pictures. I am also wearing my new skinny jeans and my size 18 panties. I promise not to show them. They wouldnt apppreciate this booty anyway!!

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend! Jan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBINSNEWNEST 9/20/2010 11:23AM

    Oh, Jan, I get it. With Bill's overweight sister, it's sort of the same thing... snide comments under the breath. I just put myself in a protective bubble when I have to endure time with her, though it is infuriating, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to that. Such judgement. I just try to remember that people judging others aren't as busy tending to their own issues. sounds like your young women and grounded and wonderfuland will face their own feelings honestly in the moments they arise. Bill's mom is all of about 90 pounds, talks about everyone losing weight, then makes butter laden entrees, cocounut cream pies and the like with insistence that everyone eat, eat, eat! All the while there's on going commentary about how everyone needs to lose weight. I don't get it. I just hope to do better and encourage my kids to ask themselves with regularity, "how do I feel and what I do i really need?" Need to ask myself that with regularity, too.

hugs for you --

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CLEVAGAL 9/18/2010 2:01AM

    Oh Jan, arent families are treat!? I love that your girls are so close! Im not close to my siblings like Ez is. Hope the weekend goes ok darlin and I will speak to you when you get back!
Cleva xxx

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BIGMAMAT 9/17/2010 10:58PM

    Girl, your one liners are the best in the world. ! It sounds like dropping your drawers might be just what the event needs! rofl.
Sending you strength via computer to get through the weekend!!! I will be anxiously awaiting a full report.

P.s. I was laughing when I read the end of your blog and My husband says What on earth are you laughing at. I said "my friend is a hoot!" He said, Tricia it's a computer. I said, Her name is Jan , and she lives in California. And he says"Is that the one who is going kayaking with the whales??? OMG. He does listen. lol emoticon

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HEALTHIERTINA 9/17/2010 9:20PM

  Sorry for your family drama. It is wonderful about your girls though. You deserve to be a proud mama. I hope you have some fun this weekend. emoticon

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/17/2010 9:01PM

    I want see pictures of those spaniels... before I had Anya, I had Pete... and Pete was an orange and white Brittany.

I'm sorry your family is so closed minded... your girls are lucky to have you.

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ASHARON 9/17/2010 8:03PM

    good luck! you can do it.

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NEDERLUNG 9/17/2010 7:06PM

    Oh Jan - I'm hoping you have a great time and that the in-laws surprise you by minding their manners. And if they don't well, let them eat envy! - Debie

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TEXWIFE 9/17/2010 5:31PM

    Jan you always make the best of everything. That is what we have been talking about in our small group at church, showing others the love of Christ by our actions not a bunch of rules. So kudos to you and I know it will be great weekend. I am glad you girls have good guys but they really are going over and beyond to attend that mess LOL! emoticon

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BRIAEL 9/17/2010 4:28PM

    Ugh, sounds like a weekend of having to monitor your thoughts to make sure no words slip through and make it to spoken!

I don't really understand why people are STILL being judged on their race (or anything else) in this day and age. It's an archaic practise that needs to get over itself, and soon!

Glad your girls have their momma's "nice" gene and I hope the weekend goes better than you anticipate. Just don't let their prejudice and judgments derail your efforts and make the most of the time with your immediate family. :)

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MAMADWARF 9/17/2010 4:28PM

    Thank you guys for your stories, comments and advice. I am armed and ready. and the girls are going dressed to, that is their armour.

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    Oy - it's very difficult to be part of a family that has narrow-minded individuals in it. But, that's on them. Their loss. Their beds that are being made now and that will be laid in by them later. Like you said - you reap what you sow.

Tell your daughters to ignore, ignore, ignore. And when they can't do that any more, be obnoxiously nice! LOL! And if some of the family doesn't want to engage in conversation with them, that's fine - stay away and engage in conversation with all the others. And make it witty, humorous, dilectible conversation! LOL!

Seriously, there's just nothing that can be done about other people. You just have to ignore their ignorance and enjoy the time you have with those who are open and loving. Go and have a good time. Be proud of your accomplishments. Spread the Spark. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy.

- Michelle

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/17/2010 1:02PM

    I can completely relate. One whole side of the family has been absent since my mom's dad passed a few years ago. It's awkward when we see each other, no has anything to talk about, it's all very uncomfortable. I know you'll make it through the weekend, just stay positive!
emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 9/17/2010 11:46AM

    Oh I so see and relate. My mum passed a year ago this june and I haven't heard from any of her side, other than one cousin. I am not sure what was said, or not said but her younger gbrother ( 60 years old) has always come visited, etc. I told him she was getting worse, and he said do I have to come, I said if you want to now yes, but no mum wasnt expecting that.( she always said didnt want people around when she was dying). anyway he didn't even send dad or myself a card or anything. This is the one uncle I was close to on her side. I don't know my cousins as my dad was military and we never lived anywheres nearby.
anyway yes makes it hard. dd recently got married and wasn't sure about sending an invite to that uncle as he has hurt her feelings not acknowledging mum ect. anyway so now I would imagine mums side will be done as soon as my one cousin passes. Sad but thats what happens. what is that saying you can't choose your famiy.....
HUGS and hope that your time isn't too bad.
oh and hey we can compare situations, my mil told me i was the worst thing that ever happened th her family... oh well water over the bridge took long time but that was when I was married 20years now it is 33.
hugs again

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June Blog repost. Still applies.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I cannot believe how strong you have been! Look how hard you have been working and the success you have had because of it. I am so proud of how you decided to change your life, how you have followed your plan, made your goals, have made so much progress and are still going strong.

The blogs that you write and the support you offer others is very encouraging. I applaud your efforts to be involved, to connect, to succeed, to motivate and inspire.

I love how you think ahead to situations, make a game plan and stick to it. I love that you do not beat yourself up but truly understand that this is your LIFE and some days, you just are not going to be perfect. You are going to have that drink or that cookie and it is OK! You are in this for the long haul, nothing is going to stop you because you really GET IT!

People are really noticing how much weight you have already lost.
I know that it feels fantastic to fit better in your clothes and that you are looking forward to new clothes and you better get some soon, cause what you are wearing is way to big.. What are you waiting for anyway?

I just wanted to give you a thumbs up, you are doing great. I wont tell you to "keep it up" or "stay focused" because I already know you are.

So Good job and by the way, this is to you and to me, all of us who are in the journey. I accept these words for myself and I hope you will too. Jan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 9/19/2010 11:06PM

    okay, eventho it is a 're-post' i DID check 'i liked this' is IS what we all need to remind ourselves and NOT beat ourselves up...i was investigating because i haven't caught any of your blogs lately...and, apparently, you went somewhere for the weekend without getting my okay...REMEMBER, i need to know where you else can i p*mp you? emoticon

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ROBINSNEWNEST 9/17/2010 11:07AM

    emoticon job

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CLEVAGAL 9/16/2010 7:06PM

    I remember that one well....every time I go to my email I have notification of a blog form YOU! Your ARE a blog ho!!!!
Cleva xxx

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BRIAEL 9/16/2010 12:14PM

    Awesome blog. I need to print it out and put it on the fridge as a reminder. :)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/16/2010 9:24AM

    I love this! I think we all need to print this out and read it frequently!

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ASHARON 9/16/2010 8:42AM

    2 thumbs up for you!

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WATCHMEGO2 9/16/2010 8:35AM

    Great blog Jan!

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Mama needed some brand new shoes!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

So today I went to the mall. I went to 2 shoe stores and nobody greeted me so I looked around and then left. I felt like I needed some help getting some appropriate walking shoes. So I went into a 3rd store and this gal said hello with a nice smile on her face. I told her she was the first one to greet me and she was shocked. I said "well I mean, its not like I am so tiny they couldnt see me!" and she said "oh my god, you are soo funny!" So she had me at hello. I asked her to show me some good-big-girl-needs-walking-shoes and she showed me a couple of pairs etc. I bought 2. I bought some of the New Balance True Balance and some Saucony basic walking shoes. I wore the True Balance shoes for my walk tonight and they are pretty great. Super light and comfy for wide feet They are supposed to help you use your muscles better and I could definatly feel like I worked harder tonight.. Here is a picture of my shoes.

So then I went to Torrid. I had a gift card and thought I would look for a pair of jeans. So I tried several pairs from 24-22. I bought a pair of 22 Jeans! The last pair I bought were 26! Then I got 2 tops in size 2! The last ones I got were 4's!
Man, I pretty much strutted out of there.

I weighed in this morning and hit 245.2 which makes 46 pounds down. SWEET! What a fantastic day for JAN!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 9/17/2010 7:00PM

    EXCELLENT!!! Still waiting for a new ID image, now that you have a new outfit? - Smiles - Debie

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ROBINSNEWNEST 9/17/2010 11:06AM

    emoticon, Girl. I'm surprised you didn't hit the Victoria's Secret while you were out and about!

Enjoy your new stuff and your new you emoticon


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CYNEDRA 9/16/2010 11:19AM

    Congratulations and Way to Go! I totally get walking out of those other shoe stores in the mall. I have had that happen to me on numerous occasions, and there is one store I will NEVER go in again. My last shoes were bought at a New Balance store, and I love (almost loved them to death) them. Keep up the good work.

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NEWYEARME 9/16/2010 9:43AM

    Wow!!! New shoes and smaller clothes!!!!

Good shoes make all the difference.

Keep up the good work!!!!


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ASHARON 9/16/2010 8:43AM

    way to go! You are doing a great job!

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WATCHMEGO2 9/16/2010 8:38AM

    I totally hate when you go in a store and nobody greets you, however, I don't want people all up in my face either - there is a fine line there for me. Yay for you getting new shoes! You are kicking ass girl!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/16/2010 8:15AM

    Congrats on the new sizes. The clothers are really cute! Love the shoes too, I need a good pair of walkers!

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RJANE40 9/16/2010 7:54AM

    I have Saucony shoes and really like em.

Congrats on the clothes and the weight loss!!

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CLEVAGAL 9/15/2010 11:45PM

    excellent.........I wear New Balance.

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SOFT_VAL67 9/15/2010 11:26PM

    i love that u purchased new balance because i recently saw a news report that new balance are the only sports shoe still manufactured in the united states, i wonder if that was true....i bought a pair of avia running shoes, and couldnt wait to try them out, they were the most comfy shoes i had ever bought, and so the very next day i put them on and that was the day i tore my knee out...honey swears it was those shoes, he said that the ground was wet, and he just knows those shoes made me slip....i never thought that, i have worn them since, but never really have had a chance to break them in...good luck on your walking and congrats on finding the right shoes

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MAMADWARF 9/15/2010 11:21PM

    Thanks guys. Hey Bay, they had some cute ones like the ones I got that were black with a bit of pink. They were super cute too. I am on my way to an 18, believe that! Thanks Mama and Anajak. I tried to input some other pix in my blog of my clothes but it wouldnt let me upload anymore.
I am going to try to edit this to add some more pix... DID IT!!!

Comment edited on: 9/16/2010 12:19:10 AM

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BIGMAMAT 9/15/2010 11:17PM

    You will have to keep me up to speed on which ones you like the best! I bet you made that sales girls day!lol
Awesome shopping trip too! Woohoo! You go with your Bad Self!!lol.

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ANAJAK 9/15/2010 11:17PM

    So jealous of your shoes - they look great! Congratulations on your amazing job Jan!!
We can so do this emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 9/15/2010 11:14PM

    Love the shoes! A good pair of shoes can mean so much! I have to buy mens shoes so nothing ever so cute as those pink NB! While I am not a big fan of pink, I do wish I could wear something that was a little girlier--and pink would fit that bill to a T!

Happy walking...walking your way on down to an 18!!! Next stop!

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Do yourself a favor.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Go watch this video. You may need Kleenex...It is simply beautiful. OH yeah, then click " I like it" cause this needs to win the most popular blog award.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEVAGAL 9/15/2010 9:25PM

    Have you thought about doing a video blog?

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IMAGINE_IT 9/15/2010 1:42PM

    Went..watched...didn't need the Kleenex..because i am cold as a kidding!!) and clicked the 'like' button!!! emoticon for sharing the link with us...

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ROBINSNEWNEST 9/15/2010 11:47AM

    loved it!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/15/2010 11:32AM

    Thanks! I loved it!

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I didnt know I did this....

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Today, I bought my husband some Cinnamon pita chips that he likes. I looked at the nutrition label, saw a serving was 7 chips for 140 calories and thought " huh, well I can fit that in today". SO I counted them out and had my 7 chips, put it in my tracker and went about my day.

It suddenly hit me: Not only did I read a label but I made an informed decision about whether to eat it or not AND I counted out a portion and left the rest in the bag. I didnt even think about eating more.

So apparantly, this is the kind of girl I am now. A girl (who is almost 49!!) who reads labels and thinks about her food choices. I am no longer a girl who sits down with the bag and eats until I am full (or beyond) and mindlessly consumes snacks because they taste good.

I have truly changed. It just now hit me. Wow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEDERLUNG 9/17/2010 6:58PM

    I'm impressed, no not really, you are the kind of person who can do this, why should I be impressed, you are amazing, of course you could do this, impression not required. You have become responsible for you. You did this for you, not to impress me or anyone, YOU.


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KIYOSHI04 9/16/2010 2:41PM

    wonderful, huh? awesome job, you.

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ROBINSNEWNEST 9/15/2010 11:49AM

    You're moving into yourself, not shoving crap into you! emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/15/2010 8:24AM

    WOOOO HOOOOO!!!! That's a good day! Good choices and great habits!

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BRIAEL 9/15/2010 4:31AM

    It's amazing how much we can change if only we give ourselves time and support until the brain follows the willpower's orders.

Really pleased that it's become so ingrained in you, Jan. :)

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THREEE 9/15/2010 1:01AM

    good girl...i haven't graduated to the stopping at 1 serving yet, but i do ACKNOWLEDGE the calories and the size of the serving...well, i do...sort of...
i just realized, tho, that i polished off a box of flipsides, 1 5-cracker serving at a time...but the time was as little as 5 minutes after the previous serving... being aware of this tendency, i either can't have them in the house(but i hate that because i eat them like there is no tomorrow when i babysit and i don't want to eat theirs...i want to be satisfied with 1 5-cracker serving and press on) OR if i try the 5 crackers(1 serving) into separate snack bags--which at least will prevent me from losing track of how many servings i've had and help me be more AWARE as i am eating...i THINK part of why i ate so many is because they are PERFECTLY salted, and i've been pretty good about not adding salt to anything(except tomatoes) so this is SALTY without me adding any...which, of course, as i type it i realize is not very logical separate serving-size baggies it is...with at least a glass of water in between!!!

and YOU, young lady, keep up the good AUTOMATIC work...those habits just sneak up on you, don't nice when it is a healthy one you've acquired!!!

READ MORE LABELS!!! emoticon

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NICA131 9/14/2010 11:33PM


I'm a label reader, coz my kids have allergies - BUT knowing what was in there never stopped me till lately

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COLD_GOLD 9/14/2010 10:40PM

    good job! It's funny how these little habits sneak up on you... at first they seem like such a struggle, then all of a sudden they are 2nd nature. emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 9/14/2010 10:31PM

    Way to go Jan! You are making the changes to a healthier you! Awesome. emoticon

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