Friday, September 17, 2010
So this weekend, we are going to my in-laws about 2 hours away. I have known these people since I was 14 years old. It is my sister in laws 50th birthday and should be fun BUT (isnt there always a but when it comes to family), I am always putting on my armour when I go.
They tend to talk a lot of crap. Not always directly but underneath you know what I mean? Like they are all very overwieght. I used to fit in just fine. Now I think my weight loss makes them nervous. When I go, I usually bring a salad or fruit or have Luna Bars tucked in my purse, just in case. In a way, I think they are happy for me but in another way, it makes them feel bad about themselves, threatened. So it is awkward. My Mother in law, asked me last night, what could I eat. (she is a terrible cook..lol) so hubby and I said, let us take you out tonight for dinner. That way, I can have what is good for me and we dont have to eat her food!
Tomorrow is hamburgers and hotdogs ( I am bringing 97% fat free hot dogs for me), fatty potato salads, chips ( I will bring baked chips) and pasta salad (which I am making so it will be healthy). And of course, cakes. Not just one but two. Im sure I will adjust my calories so I can have a small peice. I feel like they watch everything I eat now. It's weird.
There is always tension. I dont want to go into all the reasons for it, there are so many dynamics and it really reads like a soap opera (I just wrote and re-read it all then deleted it). My girls are coming with their boyfriends who are great guys. The 4 of them are coming on their own so they can come for a few hours and then leave. We are going tonight and staying 1 or 2 nights.
My girls boyfriends are supergreat. I would be proud to have them as official son in laws. They are good looking, respectful, good to my girls. I love them. That family makes no effort with them. At all. Why? They are polite (for them) but dont talk to the boys or try to get to know them. It makes my girls very uncomfortable, obviously. Why, you ask? Because they are both mexican. It is upsetting to me that some people are so narrow minded. Then I get protective of them all. (Considering the kids on that side of the family (from 20-30 years old) have all been knocked up, kids with no spouse etc, my kids are friggin angels in committed relationships.
They are stressed out about going. I would tell them they dont have to go but my husband insists that they go. He really tries to keep the family together and get past petty crap. It is a challenge. My girls were soooo stressed about it last night and just dreading going, it makes me sad. They sat on the front patio last night, talking, doing crafts and listening to music. I went out to say good night and they wanted me to sit and talk so I did.
I tried to tell them it would be ok blah blah but man, I dont even beleive that. I am happy about one thing tho. It made it clear to me that they are best friends, that when I am dead and gone, they will have each other and that makes me so happy. I think when Frank is gone, they will never see that side of the family again. That is kinda sad but I guess you reap what you sow.
I am a peacemaker at heart. It is my nature. Smooth the waters, make it better, mediate. I dont know. Maybe this weekend I will just sit back and let it go...lol.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I am going to take my laptop so I can track my food, I will get a walk or two in and stay on track. Cant weigh in for 10/10/10 until monday since I wont be home sunday am but I will weigh in then. OH! The best part??? There is 3 week old puppies up there that I get to see and play with... 15 Brittany spaniels! I will take pictures. I am also wearing my new skinny jeans and my size 18 panties. I promise not to show them. They wouldnt apppreciate this booty anyway!!
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend! Jan
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I cannot believe how strong you have been! Look how hard you have been working and the success you have had because of it. I am so proud of how you decided to change your life, how you have followed your plan, made your goals, have made so much progress and are still going strong.
The blogs that you write and the support you offer others is very encouraging. I applaud your efforts to be involved, to connect, to succeed, to motivate and inspire.
I love how you think ahead to situations, make a game plan and stick to it. I love that you do not beat yourself up but truly understand that this is your LIFE and some days, you just are not going to be perfect. You are going to have that drink or that cookie and it is OK! You are in this for the long haul, nothing is going to stop you because you really GET IT!
People are really noticing how much weight you have already lost.
I know that it feels fantastic to fit better in your clothes and that you are looking forward to new clothes and you better get some soon, cause what you are wearing is way to big.. What are you waiting for anyway?
I just wanted to give you a thumbs up, you are doing great. I wont tell you to "keep it up" or "stay focused" because I already know you are.
So Good job and by the way, this is to you and to me, all of us who are in the journey. I accept these words for myself and I hope you will too. Jan
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Go watch this video. You may need Kleenex...It is simply beautiful. OH yeah, then click " I like it" cause this needs to win the most popular blog award.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Today, I bought my husband some Cinnamon pita chips that he likes. I looked at the nutrition label, saw a serving was 7 chips for 140 calories and thought " huh, well I can fit that in today". SO I counted them out and had my 7 chips, put it in my tracker and went about my day.
It suddenly hit me: Not only did I read a label but I made an informed decision about whether to eat it or not AND I counted out a portion and left the rest in the bag. I didnt even think about eating more.
So apparantly, this is the kind of girl I am now. A girl (who is almost 49!!) who reads labels and thinks about her food choices. I am no longer a girl who sits down with the bag and eats until I am full (or beyond) and mindlessly consumes snacks because they taste good.
I have truly changed. It just now hit me. Wow.
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