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I was not embarrased

Monday, April 12, 2010

Today I was at the grocery store, restocking after being away from home for a week. I got the usual items, veggies, fruit, yogurt,bread, meat, fish etc. You know how when you are in line, you look at what other people buy? I noticed a lady behind me looking at the items I was buying and I looked at it too. There was not one thing there I was ashamed of or embarrased to be buying. Now, it might have confused her that someone my size was buying such good healthy food, but I choose to think she was thinking to herself: Good for you, girlfriend!
I am proud of myself for making the changes and today, I was not embarrased by my choices.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEVAGAL 4/13/2010 4:33AM

    So glad you blogged today! I have been waiting for a blog from you mamacita!!!! Cleva xxx emoticon

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VAPERCHICK 4/12/2010 9:17PM

    I know what you mean! I started buying so many healthy foods that the cashier started keeping an eye on my progress and asking questions about what she can do herself!

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HPYGRL09 4/12/2010 9:15PM


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Me, my weight and my dad

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I am 48 years old. My dad passed away 4 years ago. He was very supportive of me my entire life, proud of my accomplishments, proud of who I was. Except for my weight.

I often heard "you are too pretty to be fat" or "If you would just lose a little weight, you would feel better". He acted like I didnt know I was fat! That, in turn, made me want to eat more. I asked myself who was he to tell me what to do? I was a grown woman! I knew what I was doing and I could do as I pleased! How insulting!

Did he actually think that if he told me I was fat, I would say "Oh gee, Dad, thanks for telling me cause I didnt know what size I wore or how big I am!" He just didnt understand why it was hard for me to lose weight. He ate to live, I lived to eat. He just didnt get it.

Now that he is gone and I have started on this path to health, I finally get what he was saying. He wanted me to live. For a long time and to live well. He was worried about my health not my appearance. I was just thinking that today, he would be proud of me and happy for me. Because I am doing it for me. Thanks Dad. I feel you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMBANN 11/9/2010 10:40AM

    This made me actually tear up - it is a mirror to my relationship with my mom and food. Thanks so much for sharing this - it really touched me!

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TANSHAN1 11/8/2010 11:35PM

    Brings tears to this "Daddy's Girls" eyes.
It is the way we communicate even now when the cancer has become such a HUGE white elephant in my families life.
My Dad's harp string to pull was lose weight and quit smoking....,with some derogatory terms for following my mothers path thrown in for good measure.
My Momma has been gone almost 9 years now (from this kinda cancer no less) and my Daddy is still here. I will LOVE hi always and know that he never ever meant the pain that the words brought. I wish I could make him realize that just by saying it he didn't cause any of it. It was a lot in my choices but ultimately it is part of God's Master plan and we ain't DONE yet!

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MAMADWARF 3/31/2010 10:16AM

    True words, Becky.

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TEXWIFE 3/31/2010 12:46AM

    We both had the same dad as you know. Crazy how much we miss him isn't it? My only regret is he never did get to see my earlier weight loss. I have learned since he has been gone that there is no pleasing others. I recall being called fat when i weighed 120 pounds at age 18. I do know that God is pleased whenever we respect the life He gave us and that should always be our goal. emoticon

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MAMADWARF 3/30/2010 10:59PM

    Thanks clevagal. I know we all have wierd dad relationships and I sure miss mine. I loved him alot and he was always there for me. I wish I could show off to him that I am doing it... (I love your icon picture by the way! Labs are the best dogs ever!!)

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CLEVAGAL 3/30/2010 10:54PM

    My dad has this affectionate 'game' he plays with me. He gives me a rough up around the shoulders and calls me 'big fatty' and I give him a rough up and smack his belly and say 'little fatty'. While it might not be the healthiest thing in the world to do I know its dads way of being affectionate with me and I dont mind it. Parents can have a lasting effect on the way we view ourselves and the eating habits that evolve as we become adults. I reckon your dad we be right proud of you. My dad is proud of me too. Cleva xxx emoticon

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Friday, March 26, 2010

What occured to me today is this:
I am kind of a control freak. I like to do things myself, I dont trust others to do it correctly, I dont like to fly because I am in someone else's control, I try to fix everything for everyone yet my eating has been totally out of control!

Which is why I am here now. It seems so silly to let the one thing control me! Now I am taking control of my eating which is a healthier way to control things than how I have been before. I feel better, I am more optimistic and it is soo much easier than I ever thought it would be!

I have lost 13 pounds in 2 weeks and it is kind of shocking since I write down everything I eat now and I still need to eat more on some days! It just goes to show how mindlessly I have been eating and using food to deal with life. I have stopped that behavior and you know what? Control feels good!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXWIFE 3/26/2010 7:18PM

    Sis I'm so proud of you. Now even jc is on board we will be the hottest girls at my 50th birthday party, and oh by the way macaroni salad is never an option! LOL emoticon

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TEXWIFE 3/26/2010 7:17PM

    Sis I'm so proud of you. Now even jc is on board we will be the hottest girls at my 50th birthday party, and oh by the way macaroni salad is never an option! LOL emoticon

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TEXWIFE 3/26/2010 7:14PM

    Sis I'm so proud of you. Now even jc is on board we will be the hottest girls at my 50th birthday party, and oh by the way macaroni salad is never an option! LOL emoticon

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MAMADWARF 3/26/2010 2:56PM

    Thank you!! I think why this is working so well for me is how accounable I have to be and how much awareness I have of what I am eating. It has been really inspiring. Note: I have a LOT of wieght to lose so I think that makes it easier to lose it than if you just have a little...

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DLDROST 3/26/2010 1:49PM

  Thank you soooo much I have the exact same problem I worry that if I don't do it it won't be done correctly 13 pounds thats amazing I can't even lose 5 wow soooo happy for you

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