 
 
 
Forcing myself to carry onFriday, March 20, 2009
I just forced myself to do a much -needed workout. 
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BUDDACUPZ
3/20/2009 7:30PM
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Your going to be sore no doubt. Your working muscles that you don't use that much in every day life and some that you never thought existed. Just take it one step at a time and you will get the hang of it and you will conquer it. If you need any help or encouragement just let us know and we will be there for you.
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I'm feeling a bit demotivated today as I feel that the world looks at me and sees a slob.
My relatives will always think I'm too fat. And in their mind fat = worthless. My grandfather actually told me once that you can never blame a man for leaving his wife if she no longer looks appealing to him. 
Not so long ago a divorced middle-aged woman told me that men have many temptations and it's up to the wife to make sure her husband doesn't stray by being drop-dead gorgeous 24/7.
I'm 5ft5 and 189lbs.
And I'm fat.
And it makes me mad that the world sees the size of a person and judges them accordingly because I can honestly say that I don't do that. My family raised me so much to be obsessed about appearances that I have always rebelled against it. I always thought that I'd marry a man that liked bigger women but somehow I didn't. Hubby doesn't like me being fat and gets very enthusiastic when he thinks I've lost weight. It doesn't help that he's 6ft4 and 150lbs all the while stuffing himself with whatever he wants when he wants.
Our books and schools teach kids that size doesn't matter but actually it seems to matter a great deal to 99% of the population and the sad fact is that women in this day and age are still very much judged by the size of their waistlines.
Don't get me wrong - I want to be fitter and I know that I am classed as obese. But I wish, I really wish I could teach my sons that a person is more than what she looks like. Unfortunately it's a lonely battle to fight.
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CECE0330
3/18/2009 1:03PM
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Wow. {{hugs}} to you for having people around you who don't offer the best support. It's funny, because I'm 5'4" weighing 189 as well, and I don't consider myself "fat." I guess some people out there probably look at me and think "I'm glad I'm not as big as her," but I gotta tell ya, at a size 14, i feel there are a lot of people larger than me out there, but not only that-there are people out there who are smaller, but not as physically fit as I am. Take pride in your accomplishments, whether it be a lower number on the scale, or feeling stronger today than you did a week ago on account of working out. And what is it with older men? My grandpa made a comment when I weighed in at 164 about looking like I've been "eating well" and implying that he would not stay with a woman who gained weight (hello, the guy has been married & divorced 4 times). Oy. We'll support you, by george! You rock for caring! Hang in there, and vent whenever you need to. (seriously, though, focus on YOU, and how YOU feel about YOU-screw the others! lol) Report Inappropriate Comment |
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SARAHW5484
3/17/2009 11:18PM
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I can totally relate to your feelings. after getting married I packed on the pounds super fast and had a hard talk w/DH about it. he was honest that he struggled w/it at the time. now it's gotten better b/c he has gained steadily as well and I think at first it was the shock of how much i gained in the first year after being together for 4 years prior (and his first memories of me being in high school and 115 pounds!) No matter what you look like, your family and friends need to love you for you and encourage you! You have to do this for yourself--no one else--or you will just be discouraged if you don't meet their expectations and resentful and unmotivated b/c it's not really something you're doing for yourself! You can do this and will do this! 
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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ
3/17/2009 6:40PM
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I am sorry that you have had to combat ignorance all your life. It does make losing weight more of challenge for you. I would hold my head up just a little higher and straighten my shoulders, and tell the world...here I am, proud of who I am and what I am. You'll change the perspective of women for your sons by example and re-inforcement from seeing you and hearing from you what a woman is and what matters. I have learned that first and foremost I have to take care of myself and I do that by eating healthier and exercising. I do this for me and no one else. I am fortunate that my husband and family have never judged me by my weight...but I have seen how people looked at me when I weighed 310 lbs. I don't see that look much anymore, but I do see how they look at women and men who are obese. I am still considered obese, but after talking to my trainer, he said to disregard that, because he is even considered obese (he isn't, he's a weight lifter) he said what was important was the percentage of body fat...anyway...you have a triple challenge, which includes combating the notions your family has, as well as eating healthy and exercising...so do this for you, and thank goodness for Spark People...you are who you are, and never judged here, but loved and have all sorts of support available. Hugs, Jo Ann Comment edited on: 3/17/2009 6:42:44 PM Report Inappropriate Comment |
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BAGLADY6576
3/17/2009 4:54PM
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I'm so sorry that you have to deal with (dumb ass people) like that just try not to think about what they are saying and focus on you weight lost...I might be going thru the same thing my other half states that he like thick women but I starting to show a little stomach and I'm not physical fit,,he says that he's not calling me fat but at the same time why does he say don't get any bigger ....I don't know why men think that we are dumb.....but once I lose the weight he better watch out because I might replace him.....don't let this get you down just keep up the good work and just think how good your going to look once you get done. 
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