MALISANOY's Recent Blog Entries

Where life has taken me... lately

Sunday, August 03, 2008

I have been absent for some time now and feeling closer to being ready to come back. Its not quite there yet, but I'm getting closer.

Most of my friends on SP know that my Daddy was very ill with cancer and that I was spending as much time with him as I could. GOD allowed me to spend some very special time with him before he took him home. My Dad's battle with cancer ended almost one week after my son turned 1. He had acquired another terrible infection and doctors ignored our concerns with symptoms we verbalized. The infection was so bad, doctors gave him 2 months and it wasn't 3 days. The infection took his life, and not the cancer that had been in his lungs, liver, bronchial, and brain. He beat the cancer!!!He fought a long, hard battle!! He will forever be my inspiration and HERO. He went to be with GOD exactly the way he wanted. He was home, family around, BBQing going on and the laughter of all our children. Just before he left to be with GOD, he puckered up his lips for a final kiss with my mom. He took two breaths and was gone. I wasn't able to be there for his final breath. I was only 10 blocks away and driving like a maniac. I had been fighting with DH the night before. I will not go into detail. I will tell you this: if you are fighting with a loved one who has an addiction--- the addiction usually wins.
A day after my Dad passed, my niece went spastic---biting, kicking, throwing metal horseshoes, rocks and a 25lb wooden lawn chair. I was bit over 7 times and it resulted in her being placed into another foster home and then another and another until she was just placed into yet another treatment facility for her emotional and physical disturbances. Talk about STRESSED OUT!!!! Then I turned around and got a Urinary Tract Infection that spread to my kidneys. OUCH!!!
Today 8/3/08 I am at my moms house, separated from my DH and helping nurse my mom back to health after having a kidney stone removed the size of a golf ball....It just keeps getting better these days. LOL
I firmly believe that the separation with DH is going to result in Dissolution of Marriage. My Dad told me, before he passed, that "You cant fight a bottle". He had a lot of love for DH and DH continued on this path of destruction. I WILL NOT!!! I am stronger and I will overcome this lifestyle that has consumed me into depression.

I miss my Dad, and I will never forget him. I love him with all of my heart and will miss him and mourn him forever. The time I had with him was not enough, but will be cherished for the remainder of my life.
Rest peacefully Daddy 02/05/55-6/23/08

For all of my SP friends: I miss you and love you! I will be back, I promise. DONT GIVE UP ON ME!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHYMZECAL 8/14/2008 9:19AM

    Oh sweetie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I've been away for a while as well. I'm sorry that you are going through so much. You are SO strong. You are NEVER alone. We'll be here when you are ready.

I'm making my way back too...

Big hugs beautiful!

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KANANIPOD 8/9/2008 12:45AM

    We'll never give up on you!! Know that there's a bunch of us praying for you and that each time you look up to the heavens your dad's blowing you a kiss.


Me ke aloha pumehana (with my warmest aloha)

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GLITTER9 8/4/2008 9:27AM

    You are a Sensationally strong person and I commend you for your strength ( not that you need it from me but you got it girl!) . I wish you the best of prayers and sooo many hugs! I am here if you need a friend! LOL, Julie

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KERIBELLE 8/4/2008 1:39AM

    Honey we would never give up on you! You will find your way through these times and be stronger for it. God never deals you a hand you can't handle.

Keri : )

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    As a wife to an addict that stopped drinking over 15 years ago, I so understand. Your dad's parting words were true, you will never win the bottle, but for me, my hubby chose to live without the bottle without any ultimatim from me, or dramatic leaving--- even thou it wouldn't have lasted without his choice.

Some people can make that choice to change, just as many of us here on sparks are doing the same with food. BUT--- you will not be the reason he changes, you may be the incentive, but you do not want to ever be the reason.

You were so blessed to have your dad and use his wisdom and love to get you through the next journey in your life. Hold on, this to shall pass.

Call on me if you need... been there, done that... just happily my hubby and best friend made his choices to allow me to be in his life so many years ago.


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The 411

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Everything has been chaotic the past few weeks. I have not stuck to any meal plans nor have I made healthy decisions either. I have not given up, im am merely on hold. I have my dad who is ill and my kiddo who needs me too! I had to place her into an inpatient treatment facility because of unsafe behavior. She was there 10 days and is home now, and I have been at my parents keeping an eye on my dad while trying to work out some marriage issues! I have not forgotten my SP friends, I will be back soon...promise!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUDGIESUNSHINE3 7/30/2008 12:55AM

    Hi hon, just thinking of y ou and sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I for one certainly know what it is like to unfortunately have to put things on hold as far as being focused on my weight loss goals because of family issues, (ie health of children, marriage issues ect). It really can be difficult at times and I want you to know you are not alone. I myself have not been on here in a very long time as you know. Things with my daughter have been better for now and I am very thankful for that. As far as other things, well I hope they are getting there. I just popped on today and I'm glad I did. I truly hope that things on your end with all family members are going better and that soon both of us will be able to concentrate on getting ourselves fit and healthier. {{{{ Hugs }}}}

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KANANIPOD 6/27/2008 1:09AM

    Sending you the constant stream of peaceful vibes & positive energy.

me ke aloha pumehana e maluhia,

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMA2BEAR 6/17/2008 4:26PM

    We miss you on the team. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and if you need anything, I'm here for you.

Love and hugs,

Holiday to Holiday Challenges team

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KERIBELLE 6/12/2008 10:26PM

    I miss you! Remember to take care of YOURSELF while you're taking care of everyone else! Even Super Woman needs a break every now and then. When life settles down a bit for you, I'd love to go to water aerobics with you! It'd be a kick and you could laugh your butt off at me being the "new girl". Don't forget to treat yourself well when you can! Eating right and getting plenty of sleep never hurt anyone, even if you don't have the time or strength to work out, etc.

Keri : )

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So much is happening!!!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Well, Savannah's dad was served with papers on monday. They are having a difficult time locating her mother to serve her, but they will find her.
Child protection certifiers came to our house yesterday to go through our house and make sure we have a safe environment for her, and to help us get ready to become her foster parents. I am so excited that this is all happening because It will finally bring some closure to some things and help us help her get what she needs...emotionally, educationally, mentally, and physically. This will surely open a bunch of doors that have been slammed on my face for the past few years. I expected that our first court appearance wouldnt be untill late next week, but NO... it will be tomorrow. We have the prelims where DHS will step in and ask the Judge for temporary custody of Savannah and ask that she stay in our home as her foster parents. I have been so busy this week with psych appointments, counseling, doctors and DHS meetings, that I have not really had time to log food. I have been doing well. I didnt get to go to water aerobics tonight for the first time in over a month because Hayden was too fussy and DH is working.....BUMMER!
I just wanted to keep you all updated!!! Thanks for your support and prayers.
Malisa emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINEGA 5/11/2008 1:41PM

    I didn't know you were foster parent's - how wonderful of you and for you!! I'm so glad it appears to be done, right?! And Savannah is yours? Wow - what a blessing. She is lucky to have such a wonderful mommie (and I'm sure daddy, too!). Tho I don't think there is any luck to it - it came from your determination and willingness and devotion - she is truly blessed.

Thanks for all your support lately - and always - I really appreciate it!!

Happy Mother's Day to YOU! You deserve it!!

Hugs to you my SPfriend,

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WHYMZECAL 5/9/2008 8:27AM

    You're in my prayers. All will work itself out.

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QUEENET 5/9/2008 12:35AM

    Malisa you just concentrate on dealing with the things at hand. With Savannah she comes first. I certainly hope that you can get custody of her
for good.
How long have you had her with you? Is the Child Protection in the U.S. good? The one here in Canada are a bunch of goons with certificates. They
are horrible.
Well GF I am sending Prayers & good healthy Vibes your way. To help the Judge make the right decision.

Lots of Love.
ET emoticon

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PJBOKC 5/9/2008 12:10AM

    Hey Malisa,

I just read the update on Holiday to Holiday, and then came to your blog to get more info. I'm so glad you're making progress with the custody issue so you'll be able to "make things happen" in your efforts to help Savannah. You're doing great things for that little girl, and I will continue to pray that God will watch over all of you (including Hayden) and give you all peace. Please keep us posted on the progress.

I love your baby's name. (Boy right?) I'm an RN in an OB unit - I see that name for both boys and girls.

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STUTTERBOX 5/8/2008 3:06PM

    You are facing a lot right now, just remember God has promised that he will not put more on us than we can bear. He will give you the strength to do His will.

God Bless You and your family!! emoticon

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CELESTE5104 5/8/2008 2:33PM

    You have a lot going on right now. Keep focused on all of the good things that are happening for you. So take a small short break from exercise, it'll be just fine. Make sure that you can go next week:) I hope that all goes well for you guys tomorrow. You are doing such a great thing with that:)

Co-Leader of Emotional Eaters

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ILYSE721 5/8/2008 9:41AM

    Wow, when things happen they really happen. Best of luck today. Keep us posted. I will be praying.

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GLITTER9 5/8/2008 6:41AM

    OH I am so glad things are finally turning around for you! I'm so glad congratulations on all the good stuff. I hope you get all that you wish for . It's about time you had some good luck your way!!! Hugs, Julie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TREEBELLA 5/8/2008 2:23AM

    Man thats really exciting! Best wishes for the future with your daughter!

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This is GREAT!!!

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Just wanted to tell y'all that I have officially lost 15 pounds!!!!!
I weighed myself a bit early, and I will weigh myself on monday like usual, but I woke up feeling a bit lighter....LOL

I am so excited!!! I know that tummy problem had to of helped, but man... I am so happy!!!!
15 pounds...gone!!!!
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHYMZECAL 5/7/2008 9:16AM

    WHOOO HOOOOO That's awesome!! It's always so encouraging to see the numbers on that scale go down isn't? lol at the tummy bug, a good tummy bug always helps with the weight does a bout of depression. Not a recommendation! lol.....

I'm so proud of you! Good job! Keep up the good work! We can do it!!!

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PJBOKC 5/6/2008 12:23AM


We celebrate your success with you!!


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KERIBELLE 5/4/2008 3:41PM

    Good for you! 15 pounds gone forever! Keep up the great work and keep being good to yourself!

Keri : )

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QUEENET 5/3/2008 7:34PM

    Way to go Malisa. emoticon emoticon.

You will be at your goal before you know it.
Keep up the great work.


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ILYSE721 5/3/2008 3:05PM

    That is just fantastic, Malisa. Keep up the good work. Hope everything else ig going alright and you are feeling better.

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TWISTMONKII 5/3/2008 2:59PM


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It's all catching up to me

Thursday, May 01, 2008

While my life still spins out of control, my eating has stayed consistent and so has my activity. Except for today. Things just have finally caught up to me and I am sick!!! I was up for most of the night visiting the restroom and staying in there for long periods of time...i will spare the details.
My stomach is on fire and I can not keep anything in (not just down).
My nerves are shot...kapoot...need rewiring. Today was another lovely day of "as savannah turns" and I had to get her into a leg lock and hold her their so that she wouldnt keep attaching me or injure herself. She scared my son so bad that he wouldnt stop shaking for over 30 minutes even when he was removed from the room where she was 'raging'.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I still, in all my glory, turned to SP when all I wanted was a nice stiff drink (and I dont drink)!
Except for the fact that my stomach is not even handling water real well at the moment. Im so sick...and the literal sence.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLITTER9 5/2/2008 7:02AM

    My cousin had that virus for a couple days. I hope you feel better and hope things with Savannah go better. Have you thought of taking up yoga for the breathing exercises, I heard it calms you down maybe you and her could do it together? Just a trick I thought I'd share.LOL and HUGS, Julie emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/2/2008 7:01:13 AM

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ILYSE721 5/2/2008 12:19AM

    It will get better - we are here for you. I hope your virus (or whatever it is) passes quickly. Deep breath and one day at a time - sometimes one hour. I will be praying that Savannah's meds kick in quicky. Hang in there - it will get better.



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