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My "new you" journey: Day 2

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves.
- Bob Proctor


I woke up yesterday morning and decided it was time for change. That change had to come from within me. So I set a goal, made a plan, and day two is today. I even finally broke down and got my new stationary bike with all the bells and whistles i've been wanting. My old bike is going to a friend and she was just as excited to have that as I was to get my new one. I put many miles on that bike and I hope it brings her as far in her journey as it brought me in mine. When I first started this journey I couldn't ride but maybe 10-15 minutes at a time. I am up to 35-40 now and really if I tried I know I could go longer. I really learned to love the bike. I could read and pedal and it seemed like the time just flew by. So this morning as I set off on my bike and break it in I will be armed with a book and water bottle and just pedal my way to a new goal.

MIchelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 6/19/2011 1:01PM

    Glad you got the new bike! I hope you enjoy it. Congratulations on making new goals and reaching for them!!


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CANDOK1260 6/17/2011 8:31AM

    boy would you believe I did the same thing yesterday, well together if you like we could motivate each other emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTCHELLE75 6/16/2011 3:40PM

    Congrats on setting new goals and making new plans

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IUHRYTR 6/16/2011 10:12AM

    One plan does not fit all nor does a plan remain effective forever. So here's to you for starting anew. emoticon -- Lou

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ANNA907 6/16/2011 9:21AM

    Good plan and motivating me too!
Hope you had a great ride today!

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KENDRACARROLL 6/16/2011 8:58AM

    Happy pedaling :)
Have an awesome day!

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Happy to be me!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

It is funny I seem to knock myself when the scales don't move or when I have a bad day. But I made my hubby hang a mirror in the bathroom so I can look at me on occasion. I was shocked. I look pretty good for a middle aged mom or two witha grandchild. So why do I knock my around all the time. I have come so far and I have a ways to go but I have succeeded where many have failed. I have stuck it out, worked the program, and I have learned so much about me...somethings I have been working on changing....

Today I accept me as I am. I'm beautiful and i'm healthy and on my way to my goal. LIfe if good. I have to stop beating me up for days that are not the best, or moments of weakness...i'm human. This will happen and this too shall pass.

Today i'm strong.

MIchelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSAWRAP_DIMI 6/14/2011 8:20PM

    AMEN SISTER!!!! YOU ARE HOT!!!!

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KENDRACARROLL 6/14/2011 10:34AM

    Nice!
No full length mirror at my house :)

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 6/14/2011 6:48AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 6/13/2011 9:30PM

    I'm so proud of you Michelle!!!! Way to go! I'm glad you are starting to see YOU - you can and ARE doing this!!

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IUHRYTR 6/13/2011 12:05PM

    Self-acceptance leads to happiness. -- Lou

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JUNEBUG1944 6/13/2011 9:58AM

    Woohoo! You are so right! What a positive blog! We are beautiful, we are strong and we can do what we set our minds to do!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 6/13/2011 9:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RSWIFE 6/13/2011 8:24AM

    emoticon

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NANA717 6/13/2011 7:40AM

    WOW!!! That's a powerful blog!! Thank you!!! for sharing! You are an amazing woman! Blessings on you today!!

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The knocks keep coming

Saturday, June 11, 2011

136.0 that was my weight this morning. I'm up again. i just don't get what it is i'm doing wrong but I have an idea it may well be salt. No excuse but I need to find something to lay the blame on. I have followed my plan to a key.....used very few " free points" given to me by weight watchers and yet i'm up again this week. I got out the scales...i've put them up till needed to keep me off of them.....stepped on and looked down. I was so sure of change this week. But that is not to be. I of course said "that can't be right" I got tears in my eyes and then I stepped off and asked the lord what it was I needed to do to get this right. I feel like i'm doing everything right but since last November i'm up and down like a merry=go=round and not really moving. Discouraging to say the least. Oh i've thought throwing in the towel so many times. I cry, I kick, I throw a tantrum but in the end the number stays the same. The true question for me is do I really want this or am I self sabataging myself.

That seems to be the question of the hour. I don't know the answer. I weigh, measure, count, eat more veggies than should be healthy, I hardly eat any meat. Bread? with the heat that is just not an option for me. So what gives? Has to be the sodium. I have given to eating those freezer pops at night (2 to be exact) and I have checked and the sodium isn't low on those. I didn't realize when I began and got hooked. I have taken to eating peanuts on a regular basis...for no other reason but to have something to munch. So how am I going to begin this new week? On a run.

I'm going to have change in my weigh ins. I'm going to have a good feeling inside of me again instead of this feeling of powerlessness. Today is a new week beginning for me. i can't go back and I can only look forward. I haven't given up yet and I don't intend to. My moment in the spot light is coming I just have to be patient and keep doing what i'm doing. working out regurally, getting my water, and following my plan.

Michelle. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 6/13/2011 1:06AM

    Testing the waters with less sodium would be worth finding out. It could have something to do with things. Do you consistently eat at the low end of your calorie range, or do you alternate higher and lower days? Maybe you need to stay in the higher end for a while. I'm just throwing out ideas. I know you get your exercise. Maybe try a new exercise? Something out of your comfort zone to make your body say, WHAT??!! You are doing so well, and you are SUCH an inspiration to me to never ever give up! You are a beautiful amazing woman and I am proud to call you my friend! Hang in there Michelle, you are doing this each and every day that you take steps to a healthier you!

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SWEETNSKINNY 6/12/2011 11:51AM

    Dont give up..if you think it might be salt, try that out! All you can do is keep trying. DONT GIVE UP, YOU WILL GET THERE!!!! We are all here cheering you on!

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TERESA6262 6/11/2011 9:31PM

    Michelle, you're so close to your goal weight....I just feel so sure that's the deal. Can you download music? Download JJ Heller's song "True Things" It's SO what you need to hear right now. You are SO MUCH MORE than a number, gal!

emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 6/11/2011 2:56PM

    When you convert your points consumption into calories, how many calories do you eat on a daily basis? Is it less than 1200? I find I cannot sustain my plan on a low calorie intake. I can do it for up to 4 days maybe and then, here comes the binge. I read this article which explains that eating low and then bingeing could be what keeps us on the merry go round, even if the binges aren't outrageous. I'll send you the link later on. Have to find it.

Or maybe it's the peanuts. Do you measure them? Nuts are so tricky because you get such a small amount for a comparably large amount of calories.

Sodium and heat probably don't go together well and make you retain water, which while not really a gain will show up unfavorably on the scale.

Hang in there. You can do this!

Comment edited on: 6/11/2011 2:56:41 PM

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KENTUCKYWOMAN 6/11/2011 10:26AM

    Michelle, it could very easily be the sodium. There is so much sodium in so many things, I was shocked at fat free cottage cheese, how much sodium is in that stuff. Hey they have to add something to make it eatable, so when they take the fat and sugar out of stuff, they add salt. So this week be very mindful of what the sodium count is in what our eating. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, yes, we can do this.

Hugs,
Joan

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MEANCARLEEN 6/11/2011 7:25AM

    emoticon

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Is this really so hard?

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

“Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it.” ~ Rene Descartes

Sometimes we make things so much harder than they need to be. I know I for one do. take this journey for instance......I make such a big deal out of it. really it is simple....take it one day at a time, one bite at a time. So why the stuggle? Why the worry? Because that is what we do. For me it is all or nothing. I'm either on target or not. No middle ground. I have been working on this and seeing that I need to enjoy somethings for what they are. So what you have that bag of M+M's because you wanted them. eat them move on. Count them, write it, and move on. No guilt, no need to worry. It is only food. Right? It was food that got me into this and it will be food that gets me out of it.

I have finally reached a mini goal I had set. Ok, it really isn't so mini but i reached a healthy BMI. No more overweight. Does that make me done? No way. Now i have that last five pounds i've been reaching for a long time. For some I have seen them hit their goal with what seemed to me like ease. Was it? Nope. They had their struggles but they overcame and succeeded. So that is where I stand. Still overcoming. I so want to see the "magic" number. You know the one that will make it all right. I'm not so set i don't realize that isn't the case. I know that the me i'm working on right now is the new me coming out. the issue I have with food, and myself are all coming to play now. the truth shall set you free. i so wish that was so. Seems the more truth I discover about myself the more I want to hide from me. It would be so much easier to just let it be. But then where would I be? Right back where I began.

so today again i am on this journey of discovery. Because really that is what this is all about. discovering the me i've hidden underneath all the weight for so long. When your overweight nobody really sees you. When your thin or getting thin everybody sees you and talks about your loss all the time. suddenly you become the spotlight of attention. for some this can be disconcerting. I know it is for me. I thank them and let it be. I'm still getting used to the new me myself.

Michelle

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWNAC304 6/10/2011 11:28AM

    I struggle with all or nothing too. It seems like once I slip the whole day is a slip. You've done a great job and are proof that the struggle is worth it. We can do this!

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ZUMBAMAMA3 6/10/2011 11:13AM

    emoticoni can't wait to be were you are. congratulations on your bmi that more important then any thing

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RSWIFE 6/9/2011 8:12AM

    I know how you feel. I wonder when food can stop being such a big deal too. I know this is a lifestyle change not a diet but it is still hard. Congrats on your healthy BMI! We can do it!

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 6/9/2011 1:04AM

    Hmmm..could it possibly be the "control freak" in us that hand us this all or nothing mentality that we battle with?? I wonder. We expect ourselves to be perfect, to not be subject to human error, to be stoic and brave at every turn. One day we are going to realize that perfection doesn't exist, and if it did, we wouldn't want it anyway, because where would the fun be in that?? One day we are going to be able to eat, free of guilt, because we know that we eat what is good for us, and if every once in a while we eat the bag of M&M's that is isn't going to undo us. We are going to get to know ourselves and we are going to like who we are. You are well on your way to there!! Hang in there, you can do this!!!

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MADAMES 6/8/2011 9:09PM

    emoticon on the healthy BMI!

Great blog.
Evelyn

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IUHRYTR 6/8/2011 8:33PM

    Such an insightful observation -- why do we make things so difficult?

I often teach beginning and average bowlers and ask them what the object of the sport is. Their answers typically mention ball speed and rotation, angle, etc. They seem surprised when I tell them the object of bowling is simply to knock down the pins and that the pins do not even move, just stand there waiting to be hit with the ball. That basic answer confuses them until they understand it. From that point on we can talk about a consistent approach, delivery, ball speed, etc. But until they grasp the most elemental aspect of the sport they can not progress as they should.

So why do we make things hard for ourselves? Still trying to figure that one out. Maybe we think something that's easy isn't worth aiming for? -- Lou

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JUSTCHELLE75 6/8/2011 11:14AM

    I love your blog. I tend to make things harder than they need to be. also you are right we got here with food we get out of here with food. WE can do this

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KENTUCKYWOMAN 6/8/2011 9:04AM

    All or nothing...I'm right there with you Sista.

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AMBERDECORTE 6/8/2011 9:00AM

    I hear yah on that one I'm trying to get to the new life new me part too....


emoticon

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Why oh why

Saturday, June 04, 2011

emoticonI have so many telling me I can do this. I have so many others giving me boosts of self esteem. so what gives? Yesterday I was feeling like my achievements didn't amount to much...comparing apples to oranges is a no no anyways....but as I got to work I was stopped by two ladies who gave me a thumbs up on my progress. One stopped me as I was heading to my walk at lunch to tell me how incredible I looked and to keep it up. I guess someone up above was listening to me on my walk yesterday.

I listed my achievements, then the things I still needed to work on, the things I liked about me and the things needing work. My list of good points was long, my list of bad was short. With a bit of tweeking my bad points could become good. Infact I found out with some soul searching that with a bit more work on the good...like exercise, water, eating right....I could fix a lot of the things I didn't like about me....muffin top, arms, mindless eating....it all came back to me taking better care of me. I had to smile when I was done....now anyone seeing me on my morning walk/jog would of thought I needed some strong drugs because i was just a talking away.....but I discovered a lot about me. I liked the new me i'm becoming. I like that I eat healthy for the most part and the part i didn't like was due to plain ole laziness.

So as I stepped on the scales this morning I didn't let that number define me or my week. I may have stayed the same this week but i have gained so much ground. I am starting to look inside myself. That is scarey for the most part for anyone. When you start to pick yourself apart and then try to put you back together in a better way, it can get really depressing. I'm working on me and that is an awesome place to be right now.

so I will step away from the scales...they really are starting to ge the best of me....and I will do what is needed for me. I know what I need to do now to just get out there and get it done.

Why oh why? Because I want to.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 6/4/2011 10:54PM

    Yay!! Glad to hear you're seeing things a bit better now!!
:)

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IUHRYTR 6/4/2011 10:13PM

    The first step on our way to succeeding with our weight loss is to admit we want to succeed, something you have done. Now is the time to hang in there and stay the course, enjoying the journey. -- Lou

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 6/4/2011 9:54AM

    emoticon Michelle! You're making changes that will last a lifetime!

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FITFORMYKIDS 6/4/2011 7:15AM

    Good for you! That is so awesome. Just what I need to hear this morning! Have a fab weekend!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 6/4/2011 7:13AM

    emoticonYou're beginning to walk the walk of the lifestyle, not simply the weight loss journey.

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