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Creating the me I want to be

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When this quote showed up in my email this morning I knew it was meant for me. Someone upstairs new I needed this quote to give me a push. You see i've been searching for the mojo I have seemed to lost somewhere along the way. You know the one where your so motivated, you have so much energy, each day is like a new you coming out. Well I seemed to have lost that. I have been at a plateau for about three months now. I have 5 little pounds to lose and I just can't seem to get past this point. Am I at my goal weight now you may wonder...nope. Talked to my doc and I could go so much further than I have choosen but I wanted a nice round number that I could hold myself to. If I go lower wonderful but for now I want to just hit this first mark. It seems i'm sabotaging my efforts. I lose I gain. It is a cycle i've been on now for some time and it is getting old. When I have a loss I can't even be happy for me because I've seen that number before. It is like i'm stuck on a merry go round and I can';t seem to get off.

I can't say if it is fear or reaching the goal, fear of reaching the goal and then gaining again, fear of so many things. I tell myself and spark I want to do this to the end. But I seem to be holding a part of myself back. I have lost the want and it just makes me so upset with myself. I told myself I would go back to basics,...water, fruits and veggies, exercise. Oh i'm doing it but barely. This isn't where I want to be. I want to be a success at this. So I keep plugging along and I know that that means I really do want this. I could of quit this so long ago like I've seen so many come and go on this site. But I haven't. I want the change I just have to be willing to make the change.

So today I vow that I will keep plugging away at the me I want to be. I can see her and she is beautiful, strong, and very much in control of herself and her foods. today I push the me I am to become that me.



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/19/2011 12:57AM

    You keep pushing my friend...but if you ask me you already ARE a success!!! You are doing this. Oh, I know all to well about the self sabotage. I picture the me I want to be in my head, but I seem to have no idea how to become her. BUT WE WILL. YOu've come so far and you can do anything you set your mind to. I'm right here beside ya and we will see this through!!

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The plan is set: now to begin

Sunday, May 15, 2011

emoticonI have written out my plan to reach my goal weight. I have played around with this for a while now and it is time to get serious. I have kept the weight off that I lost for a while now but it is time to reach the goal weight I set with spark and my doctor almost three years ago. I was veering off path and my mind just wasn't in the game. I had my daughters wedding, stress from finances, my son's troubles, and I let all this get in my way. But I can see that now is my time. I'm worth the extra effort it is going to take to reach my goals. I have set the plan, written it out, put it in my journal where I will see it at least four times daily. I'm strong, I have proven to myself that I can do this and now is the time to finish this and move forward. The rest will take care of itself and I have to just deep breath to get through some of it.

I have taken means to fix the others, my daughters wedding was a success, my finances now can get back to normal, and my son is happy, working, and clean. I know that all of this can change in a heartbeat....not the wedding part but the others and I just have to roll with the punching. I have control over some of it but not all. I can only do what I can do. Right now that is working on taking care of me. I have decided i'm worth the work and i'm worth the effort so today begins my journey.

I have begun this journey so many times before, lost, gained, restarted and restarted....but you know what? I've never given up on ME. I knew I could do it, I kept at it and i'm a lot stronger today than I was when I began this journey. I don't just mean physically either. Mentally I'm a much better person. I know what I want in life and i'm finding ways to succeed at that so why not success on the scales. I can have anything I want and I will have this. It may not be tomorrow or next week but I will have it all one day. I have the skills, now I need to apply them and quit being lazy. Because really that is what it comes down to. Me not taking the time that is needed to reach my goals. So today I take the time to work on me. I'm worth it.

Michelle. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/15/2011 11:39PM

    You are are DEFINITELY worth it!! We can do this, one step at a time, one day at a time, one battle at a time, and we WILL succeed because we are not giving up and not giving in!!!!

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CAKAROO 5/15/2011 5:18PM

    You can do it! Wishing you great success!

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KENDRACARROLL 5/15/2011 1:32PM

    Wishing you well. We just have to keep going and never look back.
Have a wonderful day.

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KENTUCKYWOMAN 5/15/2011 9:27AM

    I am so proud of you. You have taken the first step...admitting to yourself that you do not have control over everything. I am here for you anytime you need to vent, Lord knows I vent a lot. :)

You are a strong, beautiful woman and oh yes, so very much worth the effort and work its going to take to get you to your goal, but you can do this.


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wedding pics

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Ok, here are a few wedding pics from my daughters wedding. I hope you enjoy, my new profile pic is of my sisters and I.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMPAM23 5/16/2011 8:37AM

    Been looking forward to seeing some pics from the wedding!! Thank you for sharing....Everyone looks beautiful and happy!!

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SVANBAKEL 5/15/2011 8:08PM

    Thanks for sharing the pictures...beautiful... emoticon

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/14/2011 9:35PM

    The pictures are beautiful Michelle!!

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DARLENEK04 5/14/2011 2:21PM

  What lovely pictures. Your daughter looks very happy.
Landon is adorable.


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KENDRACARROLL 5/14/2011 12:42PM

    Thanks Michelle. And little Landon is going barefoot :) How adorable!
Have a great day today.

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    What a gorgeous wedding party! And I emoticon the little man in his bare feet! Oh Michelle, he steals my heart every time I see him. How blessed you are!!! GREAT picture of the mother of the bride as well .... you're looking emoticon!!!!!

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PURPLE_ROSE_3 5/14/2011 3:22AM

    Beautiful! I love the colors! Black, red, and white are definitely a great look for a wedding.

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FITANDFIFTY2 5/14/2011 2:49AM

    Oh what a beautiful daughter and family! The wedding was so awesome! The cake was so gorgious too! thank you for sharing the pics!!

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All is well

Thursday, May 12, 2011

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
- Vince Lombardi

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
- John Wooden

Complaining only makes you miserable. Either plan and take effective action, or gracefully accept the circumstances you are called upon to bear.

so far i've begun anew like I said and stayed strong. I can't say this has been tough because really I love eating healthy foods, exercising and just living this new lifestyle. I've been doing it for long now it is more than a habit it has become a way of life. i have come to accept what not so long ago i was so worried about. Not reaching goal. It is just a number and I'm going to take a moment and bask in the glory that is the me I have made of myself. No pressure, no stress. what will be will be. I will reach goal it just may not be right off. Until then oh well.

I'm back to my routine, though exercise has been down. I have been getting it in just not like I was before. I think maybe I was taking it a bit overboard. Wait, can you do too much? i think so. so lately i've been doing a bit less but more of what I enjoy. I got out and picked berries yesterday and i enjoyed each moment of it. I got a walk in during my lunch hour at work and all is well. today will be much of the same. I have gotten this bootcamp video down though. so i'm moving.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 5/14/2011 9:15AM

    Exercise should be enjoyed. Even at the gym I try to appreciate every repetition because I know it is making me stronger and helping to get me to where I want to be. I admit that picking berries sounds more fun than lifting weights. emoticon -- Lou

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/12/2011 10:00PM

    I'm so very proud of you Michelle!!!

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KENDRACARROLL 5/12/2011 10:28AM

    Isn't it nice to be back in your groove?
Have a successful day, my friend.

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Getting back to me

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

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Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote ... Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May 11, 2011

Insights for living with joy and purpose

Dear Michelle

Every wall is a door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

You must do the things you think you cannot do.
Ok, wedding is over and now it is time to get back to me. I had a bit of a sidestep but i'm back at it. I love how I feel when i'm on target. when i'm off my body just feels horrible. there is something to be said for eating right and exercising. I'm still trying to catch up with my sleep but so far that is falling short. I kept my grandson last night and he seems to have this problem with falling asleep at a reasonable hour. I think I was asleep before him. he is happy to watch spongebob but "nene" is not. Lol.

All is going well and eventhough a wall was in my way for a few days the door is opened wide to me now and i'm back to taking care of me. The wedding was beautiful but if asked if I would want to do that again the answer would be no. My nerves can't take the pressure. some just seem to go with the flow, I sink.

Have a blessed day all and let today be your new, fresh day also.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG1944 5/11/2011 6:56PM

    Yup, time to get serious again...weddings are great, but it's always good to have them over and done with! You go, girl!

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/11/2011 5:14PM

    Enjoy your new start Michelle, you can do it!!!!

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KENDRACARROLL 5/11/2011 10:55AM

    Here's to a new day. Make it a good one.

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IUHRYTR 5/11/2011 9:47AM

    Always remember that what happens in other areas of our lives should not be allowed to affect our weight loss. Keep plugging along. -- Lou

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    I love the last line "have a blessed day all and let today be your new, fresh day also"...I needed that. Thank you,

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