MALEXANDER4   173,194
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I've fallen and hit my face!!!!

Thursday, May 05, 2011

emoticonI have fallen down the last couple of days and my face is flat on the floor. I can't seem to get back up and I feel like emoticon emoticonYou ever feel like that? I mean I was so on track. I had a loss, my mojo was back and I was moving along wonderfully. Then it happened, company, wedding finishes, stress, boredom ( how I could be bored with so much going on I know), the foods in the house that normally aren't there. I have eaten my way to miserable status. I went to bed last night feeling horrible, woke up feeling worse. Not so much yucky as worse about my failure to put me first. I have seemed to be grabbing anything to fill the moment. No planning, no thought, and no effort. If it is there i'm eating it. My arch enemy chips are back in the house. My sister, bless her, felt the need to bring three bags in. Oh the doritos, the cheese puffs, the plain chips. I've had them all. I had a cookies, pizza, hamburgers, chicken patties on buns, french fries, and Like the person that orders the big mac meal and the diet coke i've had a salad to even it all out. I mean like that is going to help here. Nope the damage is done.

I have two days before weigh in. can I do it? Oh I don't see how. But I can work on me again. I can put me first. I can make better choices. I must for my sanity. The guilt is more than I can stand. It leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. why is it we can lose ourselves in a moment and all the hard work we have done just washes away like nothing? I have put all my priorities to the back burner. I mean ENOUGH, I can't go on like this. I need control, order, I need veggies, water, healthy choices. It is up to me to make those choices. So this is my day to be strong for me. I want to go to bed tonight with a feeling of control over my day and my choices. NO is such a easy word and I need to use it. I have choices and I need to voice them. the old Michelle is here and letting others make her decisions and taking the easy way out. Not today.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKPORT9 5/7/2011 1:19PM

    You will get back on track after the wedding and you can cleanse your home and your body. I just finished a few months of planning and two days of a line dance party and cookies were everywhere. The first day - I ate the cookies. The second day - I brought fruit and I ate the fruit AND the cookies. Now after this big event, I am working on my daughter' s wedding in two weeks. I will do what I can when I can but I know this is an unusual time. You will do great! You have come so far! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/7/2011 1:20:14 PM

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/6/2011 11:03PM

    You will get back on track..you can do it! With so much going on it's hard, I know, but hang in there it will get better!

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IUHRYTR 5/6/2011 7:30PM

    Food will be around us all the time. It is our decision whether or not to eat it. Hope you get back on track. -- Lou

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JUNEBUG1944 5/6/2011 2:23PM

    Right now, your priority is the wedding! When that is over, your priority will be back with Michelle! Give yourself a break! You've done great and will be back to doing great...cut yourself some slack!

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SLIMPAM23 5/5/2011 11:46AM

    Hang in there Michelle--
This too, shall pass. You are not alone - Mo's graduation is over and I am still struggling. But why don't you try to take it easy on yourself until Monday. Then no excuses....though I'm not going to lie. I gave myself permission to "go off plan" and now I am fighting to get back on.
But we can do this...I know we can!!


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KENDRACARROLL 5/5/2011 10:53AM

    "Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow." ~Douglas Pagels

emoticon my friend.
Don't let guilt and stress steal this special time with your family.

Like you said, today is a new day and a new opportunity to start fresh.
Step away from the chips!!!





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MONIKA1948 5/5/2011 10:41AM

    Just regroup and get right back on track. We all have set backs and learn from our mistakes. emoticon emoticon

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SUNSHINE0008 5/5/2011 8:01AM

    Hang in there. I fell off for two months, and have just found my way back. That's the important thing - that we find our way back to take care of ourselves. Good for you for figuring that out so quickly! Keep the momentum and give yourself credit for picking your rebellion-self up off the floor (not an easy thing to do). emoticon

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CRROCKERGIRL 5/5/2011 7:53AM

    Good luck with getting back on track! It's something I need to do right now, as well. You have the right attitude- you can do it!

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12: The struggles to overcome with company

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

emoticonAs many may know my daughter is getting married this saturday. I have family here now and more coming tomorrow and the next day. Oh the struggle to stay on track when the eating is tossed out the window. I"m getting most of my exercise, I say most because it is hard to work out when what I really want is to visit with my sister whom I don't see but every few years or more, but somehow I've been doing about 30 minutes daily. Eating is something else. There is chips in the house, for me that is a no-no because I do love to eat them. But I got some for me and so far i'm holding my own. My weight will probably not see much change this week but i'm ok with that. My main goal is to hold my own and then next week I will be back at it. Once all this worry is over with I just hope to relax and let my journey take it's course.

It is funny how easy it is to live on plan while following daily routines, but let company come, or go off the beaten path and we are thrown for a loop. Here I thought I had this under control. For the most part I do. I make good choices from the ones i'm given and so far my WW pointPlus haven't suffered too much. Thank goodness for the free points each week. Water is essential for me and i'm getting that. I just need to plan more and visit more eat less. Yeah ok, we all know visiting and eating go hand in hand. But i'm not upset with myself. Quite the contrary i'm proud of the choices i'm making. I could of thrown up my hands and said "i'll get back to this next week", but I didn't. I have my journal, bootcamp, and home gym. I have all the tools, now I just need to keep using them.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KENDRACARROLL 5/3/2011 10:37AM

    Visit with your sister while taking a walk :)
But mostly, enjoy your company, making memories is one thing that's good about life.
Use what you've learned about healthy eating and don't stress too much.
This is a time to enjoy life.


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MADAMES 5/3/2011 8:35AM

    I know that I struggle to stay OP when I am with friends or family. It sounds as if you are doing a great job! Best wishes for a beautiful wedding.

l ! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/3/2011 8:36:45 AM

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 5/3/2011 7:18AM

    I do much better when I'm in a routine too. You're going to come through this successful! Best wishes to your daughter!
emoticon
Myrna

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9: Getting the best compliment of all

Sunday, May 01, 2011

emoticonOne of the ladies that works at walmart stopped me today on my way out to let me know she had been meaning to speak with me. She has seen me walking everyday and wanted to let me know how good I looked. Not just looked good but how toned and healthy I was looking. I told her thank you and that that that was where I wanted to be...toned and healthy not just thin. I may have hit my mark guys. She said some lose the weight but I looked so trim and fit that she was amazed and had been meaning to let me know. I smiled all the way out the door.

I have stayed pretty much the same all month or for two months I should say. I was beginning to worry that I was done. But that nice lady let me know I was doing what I could for me and it was working. My goal was never to be "skinny" it was to be healthy. I have been trying to reach a healthy BMI and I"m a sliver away from that. My goal is based on that. I had a girl yesterday tell me she wanted to be like she was in school. She is the mother of two children. Those days may be gone but the new her is waiting to come forth. We sometimes have to give up on the idea of being "the old us" and try for a new one. I mean lets face it guys the us we are today isn't working for us but we can be anything we want to be as of right now.

I have had nine great days and i'm on day 10. I have a daughter getting married this next saturday, an ex I have to have to my house for a rehearsal dinner, family visiting, and the stress goes on and on. Am I giving up on me for this week? NEVER. They all know i'm on weight watchers, heck they can see i'm on it by the weight i've lost, and i'm just going to have to be strong for me this week. I will take time to relax and just be.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 5/1/2011 2:42PM

    What a nice compliment! You are so right...why would we want to be the OLD US when we can move on to better things??!! You are doing great! Just breathe, relax, it will all get done, you'll get through the awkward parts and you will enjoy this wedding!!
Hugs!!
Kristi

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KENDRACARROLL 5/1/2011 11:35AM

    You're doing awesome!
I think hanging on to old visions of ourselves is the downfall of many.
Gotta work with what we have and boy, it sure ain't a high school body any more...
Hey, let's just blame it on the kids - why not?!?
emoticon emoticon

Congratulations on going strong for 10 days! You're doing marvelous.

I actually work very well under stress, it's the times when things are slow and I get bored that are the hardest for me to stick to my plan.

Keep up the good work!!!

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CAKAROO 5/1/2011 9:00AM

    Good job!

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 5/1/2011 8:42AM

    Michelle, you're doing great and your attitude is just right! We shouldn't try to be the girls we were years ago but strive to be healthy, strong women today!

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 5/1/2011 6:34AM

    YES YES YES!!! We cannot be what we were before because it is over. It's a new day and people have to strive to be the best they can at this point in life. I love the confidence that is coming across the page!! DO IT GIRL! emoticon

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6: Always questions but nobody wants the answer

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I normally walk during part of my lunch hour. Most sit and chat, I sit and eat and then get up with my water bottle and hit the road. Litterally. I walk for as long as I can. Sometimes it is 30 minutes and I have had quick walk of less then 20 minutes but I do this daily. It is both good for me and very relaxing. I always get stopped either on my way out or in from work and questions begin.....how far do you walk? do you do this everyday? I see you walking out there and man I really need to start.....how much weight have you lost? are you almost done? I patiently answer each question but my answers are always the same and most of the time they just say things like "Im not dertermind like you", " i don't like to walk alone", "I need someone to push me", and my favorite " what do you mean your not done? Your so skinny you don't need to exercise".

Ok, first off people you have to exercise and eat right to get it off but you have to also exercise and eat right to keep it off. Yup i'm skinny because i keep doing what i'm doing. There again, i've said this a million times, is no "magic pill", sorry it doesn't exist. what you see now took two years in the works. This was no overnight success story and still isn't. I have struggles, I don't always like to walk alone either, I don't always want to count each calorie or point as i'm used to that enters my mouth but I have and I do. I have one person telling me because of this plateau i'm on to just quit until after my daughters wedding and then worry about "dieting" again. I mean what is that about. You can't just quit a healthy lifestyle. Why can't anyone who is not on the journey not understand this isn't about dieting, it is about living. i want to live everyday not just one day.

So I continue on this journey alone except when I come to spark, Here I have friends that understand, people who know where i'm coming from, and people who push me to keep going not tell me to stop. I have never heard anyone here say " oh just quit for a while and come back when the stress is over". Really and when would be a good time to come back? When i'm back where I began, or better yet...over where I started. sounds kinda funny when you put it like that now doesn't it people? Nope I just continue on this journey the way i'm going. Living my life like i'm already there.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG1944 4/28/2011 7:04PM

    We know that this is a lifestyle, not a diet, not something you do when you feel like it.

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BELIEVING-N-ME 4/27/2011 4:36PM

    Loved your blog! It's so true. I have to do it alone, too. That one of the reason I love SP, here everyone know what you are going through aand support you. Keep it up, you're doing great!

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/27/2011 12:21PM

    That is sooooo real!! Loved your blog today. People NEVER tell you you need to exercise or loose weight but they are soooooooooooooooooooo quick to say you are too skinny or you don't need to exercise. WTH!!!(heck heheheh)

Keep on keepin on my sistah!!! You should get a tshirt with all the answers so they can read it and leave you to your walking. But on a serious tip you are planting seeds my dear!!!!

XOXOXO

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HAPPYSINGLEGMA 4/27/2011 10:38AM

    great Blog and very encouraging for someone who is just " getting it" herself.

When we are in denial we dont really listen or see the facts do we ? I have known all my life not to over eat and to excersise but I didnt always do that and that's why I am over weight.You see, as my friends work out and lose weight and I see them do that I know what there doing to lose it and I also know that its hard work and I am proud of them. When I hear a co-worker say " Why is she losing weight and not me ? I eat healthy I go for walks !" I know there just in Denial. But what we are doing is setting a great example for them . If they ever get out of denial they will remember us,they will have an AHA moment. Denial is a horrible thing to live with !
But we are NOT in denial , we know what works and what doesnt. So keep up the fabulous work my SP friend .You are an Inspiration for me !
Elaine

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 4/27/2011 10:04AM

    Hmmm..interesting concept..stop being healthy when you are stressed?? My my...isn't that what got a lot of us here in the first place?? wow! And do you do this each time you are stressed?? Give up?? WHAT DO SOME PEOPLE THINK??? Nevermind..they don't.
Stress as you know, is NOT going to go away, so why make yourself feel even WORSE giving up your healthy habits? HELLO people..exercis is GOOD for stress...okay okay..I am about going to get as riled up as you over that one! heehee!
Michelle, you keep doing what you are doing. Maybe you won't see much of a change over the next couple weeks, but you keep doing what you know is healthy for you. your daughter's wedding is going to be beautiful and you are going to one proud mama! Just remember we want pics! :)

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KENDRACARROLL 4/27/2011 9:58AM

    " oh just quit for a while and come back when the stress is over"
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Just wanted to make sure somebody on SP says that to you :) Just couldn't resist...

I wonder, is it that people are lazy or is it that they don't trust in their own abilities? Maybe a little of both.

Keep walking, keep talking, there really isn't much more you can do to convert a non-believer.

Have a wonderful SparkDay, my friend.

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5: My hubby brought Krispee Kremes in the house!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

emoticonYou guys thought me throwing out the cake was surprising wait till he sees what I do with those sugary messess. I bought two boxes from the school and told the girl I bought them from to keep them, I would buy but I didn't want the donuts. Her kids could have them I said. Oh she thanked me and i'm sure hated me at the same time....two kids + too much sugar....you get the pic. Anyhow, one of the ladies forgets I said to keep them and doesn't hubby show up to my work at the same moment....he takes a box. Man I could of strangled him right there. We had already discussed this but I think he forgot that part...the sugar calls out to him like that cake calls to me. lol. He had two. Now they sit. I know in a day or so they will be at the bottom of the garbage with the cake.

emoticonToday marks day five on staying on track. I have so much stress right now with my daughters wedding in another week and so much left to do I had told myself I would just relax myself about reaching goals and such for this last couple of weeks. Well it must be ingrained because I can't do it. The water, fruits, veggies, and exercise comes so naturally I just do it. Now sleep? I'm working on that. When I stress that is the one place that suffers and like the domino effect it works on my lossess and gains. So I may not see any changes in me the next couple of weeks but i'm not out of the game....just sitting on the bench for a bit to catch my breath. I'm glad I have spark to come to and such great friends i've made here to vent to when I need to. This site has become a lifesaver to me.

So today I will begin day 5 with much confidence i'll see day 6.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 4/28/2011 8:09PM

    It is too easy for people to allow one area of their life to overshadow another. Yes, there is a wedding coming up and, yes, many details need to be handled, but that should not affect your exercise and healthy eating. It sounds like you have that under control but many people keep telling themselves, "When the wedding's over, then I'll be able to focus and get back on track." When they do that they are allowing one aspect of their life to push aside another -- there weight loss efforts. Makes no sense to me. It is good to read that you are one of the few who keep the weight loss as a priority regardless of what else has to be done. There will always be something else to be done, right? -- Lou

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 4/27/2011 9:59AM

    These are times when I am soo thankful that the only person around here bringing food into the house is ME! haah~ a KK donut hasn't graced my countertop in ages!! :)
Hang in there...just keep throwing it out!!

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SLIMPAM23 4/26/2011 9:45PM

    I'm VERY proud of you....sticking to your guns when the stress is the worst. Good Job my friend!! I on the other hand totally caved with the stress of Mo's graduation - so.....because I am so proud of your self control - I am on my way up to your house to take those awful doughnuts right out of your house.....and into my tummy!!! Good Job Missy!! Goal is staring you in the face!
BIG HUGS!!
Pam

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JEGRANT 4/26/2011 8:29PM

    Sounds like you're really staying on track. Congratulations! It is very motivating to read about someone else keeping up their good habits, even when there are stressful events going on. I have been a little off track lately due to my birthday, Easter weekend and now I am on vacation! But your blog is inspiring me to get back into the swing of things, so thank you for that!

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/26/2011 7:49PM

    WTG my friend!!! KK ummmmmmm I have not had one in AGES! ummmmmm

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JUNEBUG1944 4/26/2011 5:57PM

    That is an offense punishable by death! LOL! What was he thinking...oh wait, he probably wasn't thinking. Was he? They are building a KK store in Foley...good thing I like WalMart Donuts better...but I only eat them once in a blue moon!

Your willpower is great...I'd eat them in a flash and then regret it!

Calm down, take a deep breath, and relax. The wedding will be great...don't let it get to you!

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CAM2438 4/26/2011 5:46AM

    Sounds as though you are doing just great in spite of everything. Keep up the good work

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