Saturday, March 07, 2009
i'm off to the grocery store(woohoo),today is the day to restock for the coming week. i will do my best to stay away from the foods i don't need, aka combos, chips, chocolate. i have reached the next milestone on my journey and i really don't want to go back just forward. so with that i must step back and take stock of myself and my goals and begin again. i have the next five to lose and then the next and i can't give up. each day feels like a new moment for me and sometimes an old one. old habits sure do die hard and i'm giving my all for the next and better ones. i'm at a weight i haven't seen in some time and i worry daily if i will stay here, deserve to be here, and sometimes i'm just shocked that i'm actually here. yesterday coming in from my walk at work i just happen to catch my reflection in the glass of the doors ( i don't have a full length mirror at home) and i had to stop for a minute and just gaze at my reflection looking back at me. that was me and i could hardly believe it. i had to smile. me, looking that good, damn i've come so far and yet i still worry about tomorrow. when do these feelings and thoughts go away? do i really want them to? if they do i may get too set in my ways and just let all this go and i don't want that. oh well i sat down just to jot a minutes and it has turned into a lot more than that. thanks for always listening to me. and till tomorrow keep sparking.