Sunday, February 27, 2011
Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Today is wonderful but if it goes not according to plan you always have tomorrow. I know many of us hear this day after day and wonder if it really means much at all. For me it means I may have made mistakes but I have time to fix the ones I can and work on the ones I can't. I had an awesome weigh in this week i'm down 1.4# for the week. This puts me back where I was before my three pound gain and now this is my fresh start. Funny it has put me at a place I haven't been in a long time..........determined.
I tell myself I have tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and I make the same ole mistakes....Not this time. I've got a friend who challenged me to get this finished. I'm going to get this done. No more why's, whats, or hows, I know these reasons now it is time to move forward one day at a time and one pound at a time.
I love my teams that help me along, I love my friends that push me along, but most of all i'm learning to love myself that carries me along. I used to think I had no will power, not true, without that I wouldn't be here after two and a half years with spark and still moving down the scales. I wouldn't have lost the weight and kept it off this long. I have plenty of will power. Now it is time to work it for good.
I'm off to get ready for another day of work. Man this is day seven. I have been giving so much to work that i'm letting the little things slide at home...I have company coming in a couple of weeks and i've got to get myself together. I need to get this place together. I need to learn balance. I'm working on it in my diet maybe it can spill over to my home chores also. I mean shoot I have tomorrow right?
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
As I walk this journey I have come to realize it is all about finding the new me. The me I like. It is a hard thing to realize you don't like you much. When you start peeling off the layers that make us us me find we don't like the us we once were and now it is time to be the self we want. I'm taking this journey one step at a time to reach my "magic number" but i've found along the way it isn't about the number it is about finding myself.
At first I was a bit nervous with what was coming out. I mean you start losing weight and people notice you. Me? I'm the one hiding in the back most of the time. But you shed a few pounds and suddenly people are seeing you. That means being pulled to the frond and it can be a bit daunting. The you lose a bit more and people are telling you to stop. You are getting too thin. I mean you know you have a few pounds to go yet, but they see you at your peak. This is when the journey gets a bit tough. I have to regroup, replan, restart so many times because I begin to believe them. Hey i'm looking good, why bother with a number on the scales?
But for me it is all about that "magic number". The doc says you can reach it, your mind says you can reach it, and surely you can. Surely that number is attainable and without much effort you can reach it right? Wrong, now is the time it takes much more effort now, more mind concentration, more determination. So I'm up for the challenge. Or I want to believe I am anyways. I will reach my "magic number" I will see this through, the ones that think I should quit? they are no where near their goals and so they have no idea the thrill of seeing that number after months, or years of the journey. To them I say " don't give in or up".
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water
- Rabindranath Tagore
Its funny that I work in a pharmacy and I see so many who head to the diet section and want that magic pill. I've talked about this before. One doesn't exist. Our pharmacists here won't even talk to you about that pill on the shelf. They won't recommend it. The truth of the matter is if you want it you have to work for it, you have to be willing to give something up to get it. Sorry but the truth hurts. This journey is all about change. Change in our diet, our minds, our routines, and most of all our bodies.
I've begun what I call the "back on track challenge". I know it is going to take my one pound at a time to reach my goal. I know that I was not getting there cheating my way through the week then hopeing against hope that the scales were going to show a loss that I didn't earn. So for the last four days i've been on a new journey. A journey for me, my mind, and my willpower. I have taken to saying to myself each morning "one pound at a time will get me there". So far i've had three good days in a row this week so far. So something is working. Really it is my mindset that is doing the job. I had to get back to that place we are at when we begin this journey. You know the one where your so excited to try new things, you get all the new foods, you follow your plan to a tee, and then you hop on the scales and see a wonderful loss for the first few weeks then you start to slide. That is where I need to be. To the excitement again. I was just not there. I was starting to get bored with my plan, my fault, I could change this up any time I choose. I just was being lazy. So I decided it was up to me and no one else.
I'm doing it a moment at a time. I would love to say i've mastered this but heck i've been working on this since I began spark some two years ago. The only thing that i'm proud of at this moment is that the weight that i've taken off is so far staying off because it is coming off slow. So i'm happy for that. I'm happy of my choices most of the time still have trouble with the mindless eating when i'm bored or tired but working on that also. So i'm off the tackle my Wednesday. Over the hump day and my favorite day of the week, means it is downhill from here. lol.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
This afternoon I headed out for a walk with the guys. We got in close to three miles. It was beautiful. I sun was shining and the breeze was blowing, the temp was about 75*. You couldn't ask for better walking weather. I had time to ponder a few things about my journey. I have come to the end of the highway and now I have to make a few changes to reach the next level. My diet is not going to change up to much so it is up to my exercise routine. Funny I never thought I would say those words: the diet isn't going to change much! I have found a place where i'm comfortable with what i'm eating at this time. So exercise is the key to reaching my goal. I have decided for the next bit i'm going to give me five minutes a day. Five whole minutes just for my goal. Not for spark tracker, not for anything else but myself. That is an extra 30 minutes each week just for me. I'm also going to do this one pound at a time. If I lose a piece, a sneeze or a whole one i'm taking it all the way. What doesn't come off this week will come off the next and so on.
I have often made myself crazy over the scales. I have made myself sad over a small loss, or heartbroken over a gain. I can't keep doing this and i'm stronger than that. I know that It all comes back to the program. Funny my life is wrapped around the program. The weight, the food, the fruits and veggies, water, exercise. My head is full of it. All the time i'm thinking about how many of this and what is needed to get the day done. My whole self is into this. So why is goal not reached yet? that is the question and I haven't the answer. Some say I have no more to lose. I see that I do, I'm working more on the toning now, but some of it is still fat. I have been smaller and as i'm older I have not set myself to be what I was in high school. I'm going for a much higher number and i'm ok with that. Really i'm ok with me at this point but I don't want to give up till the scale says the magic number. Just one time that is all I want. So to reach it I must first relax, give me time and move a bit more. I can do this. Heck exercise is my favorite pass time so I know I can find something to do just for me.
I have a friend who is always saying one day and one pound at a time. Lou your so right. We all need to just let the scales do what they will do and we will just have to keep getting up and moving. If that pound is not met this week, you can gain a bit more ground next week and so on till it is. One little pound, not so hard really. Just set our minds and go for it. I'm going for it. I'm setting myself up to win one pound at a time.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
Each day that I wake up and reflect on the day before I see where I was great and I see where I could be stronger. I have each day to begin anew and be the best that I can be. We are all winners each day that we begin again. Each day that I start fresh and don't backtrack to my old ways, I'm stronger than I once was. I'm a much better person than I once was. I can succeed at any and all that I put my mind to. I won't quit, I won't give in or up. If I do I'm giving up on myself.
I had seven great days in a row of staying on play just as I should. Yesterday I broke that streak but today I begin a new one. Oh I didn't do anything terrible to mess up my streak, I just went over my daily calories, points, and I won't count that as a good day. Now did I mess up myself entirely? Oh no. I can begin anew today. I was hungry so I ate a bit more here and there, Oh I still didn't mindless munch. Nope, I had a bit more at lunch and a bit more at dinner. Sometimes people we are going to be hungry for a bit more. Nothing wrong with that, it is how we jump back on program that counts. I can't allow myself to eat a bit more each day, nope then I would be right back where I started. So a day here or there isn't going to kill me. And let's face it....I had seven in a row. woohoo.
So today i'm a winner, I"m back on track, i'm headed to the store to restock a few things, and then i'm back to get out and enjoy some of this wonderful Alabama weather we've been having. 73 today they say....walking weather for sure.
We are all winners each day we get up and get back to basics.
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