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Christmas with my family

Saturday, December 25, 2010

I will post a few pics hopefully this weekend. My daughter borrowed my camera as hers won't work. So I don't have it to download what we took. My grandson was awesome this year. we do it where he gets a gift, then it is someoneelses turn for a gift and so on. He waited his turn, and as he gets wayyyy more then us we give him a second in a row, he stopped us and told us it was his mommas turn for a present. I was so proud of him. He is so grown up sometimes. we told him he couldn't do gifts untill we all finished with dinner, when we where done he came to each of us in turn to ask if we were finished. It is amazing how grown up a three year old can be. I'm truly blessed this holiday.

I also will have a pic of my "Christmas tree of decorations". I look at it and can't believe all the good days I had. they were not all in a row but I got a lot of "stars" for my tree. I have a new calender for the new year and smiley faces this time. I'm going to succeed one moment at a time. I think this is a lot about us as we grow and about the losses. sometimes I forget that and having a visual helps me to see that really i'm doing great. I have bad days, but in the end i'm holding my own. I"m not losing like I would hope, but i;'m losing, i'm staying in the same weight range when i don't. I need to start seeing the glass as half full instead of always half empty.

So as the new year approaches i'm hoping for a sence of renewal. Rebirth so to speak. A fresh year, with fresh starts, fresh ideas and outlooks. What more do we need? nothing.

I want to wish all a very Merry christmas this holiday season. Be blessed in all that you do.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/26/2010 8:31PM

    You will have a wonderful new year, Michelle! I'm so glad you enjoyed your Christmas with your family. Enjoy that precious grandson of yours and all these wonderful memories you are making with him!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 12/26/2010 7:13AM

    What a great attitude! Part of the journey is not losing the weight, but changing our thought processes. You're doing that, my friend ... and you're doing it well!

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KENDRACARROLL 12/25/2010 2:16PM

    Merry Christmas!
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IUHRYTR 12/25/2010 9:23AM

    That was so polite and grownup of him to wait for Momma. Precious moments. Hope you have a blessed day. -- Lou

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SYLVIALYNN2 12/25/2010 8:31AM

    Sounds like a lovely time with family. Glad the Reward Tree inspired you. Maybe you could make a Snowman for January. a Heart or Cupid for February and a Shamrock for March.

I can just see Ms. Snowwoman dressed in a lot of gold and silver stars for bling. A couple of rows of stars for a belt and hat band. Other colors for shoes and gloves.

Merry Christmas and wishing you and yours a happy, healthy, prosperous 2011.

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Week 3: Weigh in on Christmas eve

Friday, December 24, 2010

emoticonI refuse to go quietly into that good night. I"m down 0.2 this week. I worked hard for that. I was expecting a bit more. But i"m not giving up or in, i'm not going quietly and i'm not ready to quit. My weight doesn't have me yet. I'm actually down 2 inches total in the last month. took those measurements today also. So even though my weight is plugging along my body is taking on shape, definition and soon the weight will come with it. So today Christmas eve begins my new week. Week three on the new weight watchers program. I"m not seeing a huge change in my weight from it but i'm still working out the kinks. At least that is what I like to tell myself. emoticonI'm going to win this battle of the bulge if it takes me another year to do it. I wanted to be at goal by years end, that isn't going to happen, but in a glass half full kinda way i'm down another 5 pounds this year. I know that sounds really lame, but when your close to goal, stop and start as many times as I do, stress, holidays now, well it all works to hold us back. And if I'm truthful with you all and myself it is probably because i'm getting settled at this weight. I like the size i'm at, I like the way I look. I know it isn't in the healthy BMI range yet, and it isn't goal, but I'm ok here for the time being. Is this the weight I want to be? Nope. I'm still holding out for that magic number, so if it takes me another year, Oh well at least it will stay off that way.

So I give it my all not to get too upset over these things. Not that I don't, I feel like I give it my all and then to step on the scales and loose a tiny amount is really disheartening. but again i'm doing my best to see that i'm making headway. Rome wasn't built in a night and I guess this weight is going to come off easy. Some good things are worth fighting for. So I will sit down once again, plan my week stratagey, change up a few things, and then give it heck. There is still next week.

Happy holidays to you all and be blessed.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/26/2010 8:29PM

    Congratulations on those inches! They are a wonderful way to know you are changing things, even if your scale doesn't cooperate. Michelle, you've had a great year. You are healthier, stronger and more focused than ever. Concentrate on finding the happiness and joy there is in life, enjoying your health (and looks, because yes, you look fabulous!) Hang in there hon, make 2011 YOUR year!!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 12/26/2010 7:10AM

    What a wonderful gift you've given yourself this year ... better health, better habits. You're doing so well!

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KNITTABLES 12/24/2010 2:40PM

    Merry Christmas. a small loss is a great loss. You are heading in the right direction and you have lost inches too. That is awesome.
Hugs.

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KENDRACARROLL 12/24/2010 12:25PM

    Don't let the scale get in the way of your feeling well. (The scale is E-V-I-L :))
We'll continue doing this in 2011 - it's our life!
Have a wonderful Christmas!
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IUHRYTR 12/24/2010 7:57AM

    Keep working toward that one pound, little by little. -- Lou

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Week 2: Christmas gifts you can't wrap up

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

I recieved a call from my son whom lives in vermont yesterday. As some of you may know we haven't been on the best of terms. He is a troubled young man and sometimes being mom and being the one that he lashes out at, well we haven't been on the best of terms. Anyhow I recieved an email which turned into a phone call. My son lost his job about two months ago and even though he said it wasn't his fault.....well I didn't believe him. As an addict can do he lies a bit more than usual. So you really have to take what he says with a grain of salt and move forward. I know that sounds a bit harsh from a parent but once burned twice shy....anyhow he had been fighting for it back. Went to all the available chanels and he won. He had witnesses and managers in his corner. He won that battle. He is at a different location but he is back to work. As a parent i'm so proud he took it upon himself to say "hey wait a minute I was wronged", he actually stood up for himself and he won. I will be proud for him and hope he is growing up a bit. we talked, he listened, I listened. Who knows maybe this is a step for both of us in the healing prosess. Oh it may take a lot more truths to be revealed on my part, but i'm going to be alright and I pray each day for him. Like I tell him, it is one day, one step at a time.

He is taking steps to help himself and i'm taking steps to help me. I'm getting healthier, heck I am healthier, i'm learning to relax, and i'm trying not to be the one to fix the worlds troubles. I did tell my son that I can't be held responsible for his choices. See that word comes into play alot, choices, anyhow, He made the choices with the friends he chose, I didn't. He had the same opportunities as his sister, he chose the path he is traveling. You can't go back but you can always move forward. I'm moving myself forward. each choice I make for me is a choice I make to further my life, my health, my happiness. It again boils down to our choices.

So yesterday that one phone call gave me a gift, a prayer answered. It can't be wrapped but it arrived in the same pretty packaging as all the rest......my beautiful baby boy is becoming a man.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SYLVIALYNN2 12/25/2010 8:57AM

    Reading this on Christmas Day. I have a troubled daughter and it breaks my heart to see her struggle because of her choices. I can beat myself up thinking that maybe I should not have divorced her dad when she was 15, but now that she is 38, she is an adult and responsible for her choices. I have not talked to her since Thanksgiving, when I went to visit her. I could not stay for the visit as the pot smell was overwhelming. I had asked her before, that while it is her home, I am not comfortable being exposed to it and am disappointed that she was disrespectful in not giving me warning so I could decide to stay or leave.

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CANDOK1260 12/25/2010 7:44AM

    your son sounds like my twin brother. hope this is the new begining you waiting for. I have wish you and your a great holiday season. emoticon

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SLIMPAM23 12/22/2010 5:00PM

    Im reading this late Michelle - but I am glad I did. I have a son that sounds very much like your son. My son has bipolar disorder and his CHOICE for many years was illegal drugs over bipolar meds. Long story that is not worth going into - you may have a similar version of it of your own!!! I too, am always grateful when I see a glimmer of any sort of maturity and responsibility - even the small ones...
What I have always told him is this.....
"You can always get out the the hole you have dug for yourself...but you have to put the shovel down.
I am truly glad for you today - because I know the feeling that comes with this type of gift!!
Merry Christmas!
Pam

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TITUS2WMN 12/20/2010 10:58AM

    Michelle,

If your son shows interest in the Lord and lives near West Townshend, VT, there is a great, small church there. The pastor has a very colorful past and is a great discipler of men. It is called Calvary Chapel of West River Valley http://www.calvarychapelwrv.org/.R>
:o) Christine

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/20/2010 12:55AM

    That's grat news Michelle! I know the phone call made you happpy. I hope he continues to grow and mature and turn his life into what it could be. You are doing the right thing and choosing to back away and let him learn may be hard for you, but it's in his best interest, and making choices that take YOU where you want to be is the best gift you could every possibly give to yourself!
Merry Christmas, Michelle!!

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JUNEBUG1944 12/19/2010 7:04PM

    That is terrific, Michelle. You must be in seventh heaven! I wish you both the best...Merry Christmas...what a present! You couldn't get a better one!

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KENDRACARROLL 12/19/2010 3:07PM

    I bet your heart was light for the moment and you certainly deserve this little victory. No matter what tomorrow brings, I'd count this as a pretty great Christmas present.
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DARLENEK04 12/19/2010 2:11PM

  Michelle,
I think you have a lot of inner wisdom, and God is telling
you how best to help your son. As hard as it is, sometimes
the best thing you can do for them is back off and let them
learn some of life's lessons.
I firmly believe your son is on the right track by his going
to battle with those who wronged him, and the fact that he
had assembled his little army of witnesses and so forth, shows
he is maturing.
Stand your ground, know you are doing the right thing, and
eventually, he will come around.

Love and Hugs,
Darlene

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KNITTABLES 12/19/2010 1:44PM

    That is such great news and I am so happy for you and for him. Hopefully he is on the good track and will stay on it. Take care and keep relaxing. emoticon emoticon

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IUHRYTR 12/19/2010 8:19AM

    emoticon news. Hope he continues on a better path. -- Lou

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 12/19/2010 6:48AM

    That's emoticon news Michelle! emoticon and emoticon wishes to you and your son.

Myrna

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BEABEELEVER 12/19/2010 4:50AM

    Reconciliation with family members is priceless!! I think everyone has a family member struggling with some type of addiction. I am so glad to hear a success story.

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Week 2: Onwards and upwards

Friday, December 17, 2010

Ok, my weigh in this morning brought with it a slight gain. I can't say why, but i'm sure stress, pms, and such played a small part in it. I've been on plan for a bit, following my list of goals, checking them off as I meet them. I have even begone a new daily goal of (thanks lou) of succeeding for four days a week. Maybe I can move that up to five and so on till i'm a success each day. Oh wait, we are successes each day we stay the course. If you don't use your goal trackers you really need to. they help me to see how i'm doing on a week to week basis. I track team goals, but also under your goals section you can track anything you want. for example I track: daily successes, sleep, activity points, no eating after dinner. The possiblilities are endless. I change them out monthy and sometimes weekly if the goal seemed like something I wanted to track but doesn't seem to make sense now. Lol. Helps sometimes to see what is what.

I weighed in at .4 gain. Not a signifigant amount in the scheme of things, but enough to make my angry with myself. I really was hoping for a loss this week. I know I had a good weigh in last week, but I thought I was finally getting this new Pointsplus from ww. Oh well I will not give up. they say to look over your trackers and see where you could of gone wrong. Well looking over my notebook I see I did fine. I followed the guidelines, ate my fruits and veggies. Stayed on points five out of seven days and used only a few free points all week. It could of been my exercise. I took a day off sunday, and i've been so rushed this week with my grandson's christmas program, work, and trying to keep my head in place, I guess that could of been a factor. Of course it was pms week and that could of been a two pound gain so i'll take the .4 and just move forwards.

Onwards and upwards in my motto for the week. worked last week and I kinda like it. Catchy.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/18/2010 12:39AM

    Onwards and upwards! I like it! :) (or maybe I should use onwards and downwards??)
Stress my dear can also wreak havoc on the scales, but it could also have been TOM. Relax and see what next weigh in brings. Just know that DESPITE the blasted number, you are a success. Each and every day.

Comment edited on: 12/18/2010 12:39:57 AM

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IUHRYTR 12/17/2010 4:39PM

    As a guy, of course, I don't have the monthly problem you ladies have but from what I understand a gain of even up to four pounds or so is not to be unexpected, so yours was nearly insignificant. You can work that off in a couple of days. Stay at it and continuing doing the best you can every meal, every exercise and every day and I am confident you will succeed. -- Lou

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KNITTABLES 12/17/2010 3:03PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 12/17/2010 8:42AM

    Yup, onwards and upwards is good and it is catchy...kinda rolls off your tongue! .4 of a pound is nothing...could be your hair grew this week! You're doing great, Michelle. You are succeeding and are a winner. I know you want to reach your ultimate goal...but it'll come!
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Day 6: Struggles over the holidays

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

emoticonI want you all to know that this time of year has been so hard on my psyche. I'm struggling everyday, not with food, with my own depression. I hate the cold, so I stay indoors except to head to the car, or walking into the store where I work. I exercise indoors now, I just don't get enough sunlight. that doesnn't help. then there is the holiday in itself. I have struggles with money and this time of year just magnifies it for me. Always has, probable always will. I have my daughter here with me but my son is in vermont this year. We are not on the best of terms this year and that has me a bit on the down side. though I can't fix his problems, Not that I haven't tried, I just need to fix my own right now. I can't be thinking of others trouble when mine seem so huge today. do you understand what i'm saying with that? I need to get me to a good place and then maybe I can help someone else. I have decided not to send him a gift this year. Not that I don't want to, but why send a reward of sorts to someone who really just kicks you all the time. I need to quit buying his respect and just earn it. He is an adult and He needs to act as such.

My struggles with my weight is another issue this time of year. I had hoped to reach my goals this year. Well the year is about over and really I haven't reached them. I'm still struggleing the same old struggles. When will I finally just take control of me and get this over with? I'm still working on that. I say I want it but really I don't do much to get me there. I mean yeah I exercise, then I eat it all up. get my drift? You can't have it both ways. You either are working towards your goal or your not. I"m really not. Oh I say I am, I look like I am, but inside I feel like i'm just going through the motions. Again this is due to my depression I know. but I guess I figure if I had something to be happy about I might be. Well that isn't true. I have so many things to be happy about. Just right now i'm not in a good place.

I have the plan, I am working it daily, I have the mindset, i'm using it daily. I just need to relax and let what will be be. No since worrying over something that may or may not happen. That is my problem, I worry way too much. So I have decided that for today i'm going to accept myself for what I am. I am me. That is good enough for now. I make mistakes, i'm human, I will fix those mistakes. Noone but me can move forward from here. I will do my best to get outside at least 10 minutes daily. I need that. I will work on my finances one week at a time. I will succeed in my weight loss. I will work on that one pound at a time. each mini success is a mini success. Noone can take that from me but me.

Sorry for this depression blog. but sometimes I need to vent and this is the only place to come and let it out. I can later comeback and read it and say " that time wasn't as bad as I thought". Today is my day to succeed in all that I do. I may not be able to go back but I can go forward.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/18/2010 12:36AM

    Michelle, you are succeeding, each and every day. Never forget that. Each day you ARE living a healthy lifestyle. You choose health more often than not, so despite the "slip ups" that get you down, you are still heading in the right direction. The only way to not succeed would be to give up, and you and I both know that is NOT going to happen. You will get there, my friend. Christmas is a stressful time. It shouldn't be, but it is. You are right to do what you need to do for yourself. You may be able to help someone when they are ready for help, but until then, there is nothing you can do. So, choose to help yourself right now, do what you need to do to keep Michelle happy and healthy. Take care of YOU and love YOU for the wonderful, amazing woman you are. Keep up the exercise and try to get outside when you can, it will help. Hang in there, hon. If I can do anything for you, you know that all you have to do is shout.
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TITUS2WMN 12/15/2010 10:40PM

    I'm glad you were able to vent and really get to the heart of what's bothering you. That is the first step in conquering it!!

:o) Christine

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TITUS2WMN 12/15/2010 10:40PM

    I'm glad you were able to vent and really get to the heart of what's bothering you. That is the first step in conquering it!!

:o) Christine

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KNITTABLES 12/15/2010 8:01PM

    emoticonI am struggling too and I wish you all the best.

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JUNEBUG1944 12/15/2010 1:12PM

    Oh Michelle...you are doing good. You are close to your goal weight and that is simply wonderful. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You can only do the best that you can do. Christmas is a tough season. We all forget the true meaning of it and think we have to spend, spend, spend. We don't. Token gifts are fine if you must give a gift. Cookies or fruit make a nice gift. It's a shame that Christmas stresses us out so much. Two years ago, we didn't do anything for Christmas because DH was recovering from back surgery...it was a great Christmas!

Don't beat yourself up. Exercise because that will make you feel better, both physically and mentally. Try not to eat between meals. If you do slip, well there's always tomorrow. We're trying to live a healthy lifestyle. If you deprive yourself, you aren't going to be healthy. Do what you can...the weight will come off. Try not to worry about what you didn't do or can't do. It'll only upset you...it won't make matters any better.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IUHRYTR 12/15/2010 9:09AM

    Venting is okay here. You have friends who support you and many who relate because they, too, are going through similar problems. Often we use gifts out of guilt so we don't feel like a bad person, but a gift should be given from the heart to someone you appreciate and who appreciates you so don't feel guilty over saving your money. Send a card. We often eat for the same reason, because we feel bored or lonely or guilty over something and think food will make us feel better but it doesn't and makes us then despise that we gave in to it when we're trying to lose weight. So when you reach for food, ask if you are truly hungry or for some other reason. It is a struggle sometimes but take it one positive day at a time. Hang in there. emoticon -- Lou

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