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Day 6: Struggles over the holidays

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

emoticonI want you all to know that this time of year has been so hard on my psyche. I'm struggling everyday, not with food, with my own depression. I hate the cold, so I stay indoors except to head to the car, or walking into the store where I work. I exercise indoors now, I just don't get enough sunlight. that doesnn't help. then there is the holiday in itself. I have struggles with money and this time of year just magnifies it for me. Always has, probable always will. I have my daughter here with me but my son is in vermont this year. We are not on the best of terms this year and that has me a bit on the down side. though I can't fix his problems, Not that I haven't tried, I just need to fix my own right now. I can't be thinking of others trouble when mine seem so huge today. do you understand what i'm saying with that? I need to get me to a good place and then maybe I can help someone else. I have decided not to send him a gift this year. Not that I don't want to, but why send a reward of sorts to someone who really just kicks you all the time. I need to quit buying his respect and just earn it. He is an adult and He needs to act as such.

My struggles with my weight is another issue this time of year. I had hoped to reach my goals this year. Well the year is about over and really I haven't reached them. I'm still struggleing the same old struggles. When will I finally just take control of me and get this over with? I'm still working on that. I say I want it but really I don't do much to get me there. I mean yeah I exercise, then I eat it all up. get my drift? You can't have it both ways. You either are working towards your goal or your not. I"m really not. Oh I say I am, I look like I am, but inside I feel like i'm just going through the motions. Again this is due to my depression I know. but I guess I figure if I had something to be happy about I might be. Well that isn't true. I have so many things to be happy about. Just right now i'm not in a good place.

I have the plan, I am working it daily, I have the mindset, i'm using it daily. I just need to relax and let what will be be. No since worrying over something that may or may not happen. That is my problem, I worry way too much. So I have decided that for today i'm going to accept myself for what I am. I am me. That is good enough for now. I make mistakes, i'm human, I will fix those mistakes. Noone but me can move forward from here. I will do my best to get outside at least 10 minutes daily. I need that. I will work on my finances one week at a time. I will succeed in my weight loss. I will work on that one pound at a time. each mini success is a mini success. Noone can take that from me but me.

Sorry for this depression blog. but sometimes I need to vent and this is the only place to come and let it out. I can later comeback and read it and say " that time wasn't as bad as I thought". Today is my day to succeed in all that I do. I may not be able to go back but I can go forward.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/18/2010 12:36AM

    Michelle, you are succeeding, each and every day. Never forget that. Each day you ARE living a healthy lifestyle. You choose health more often than not, so despite the "slip ups" that get you down, you are still heading in the right direction. The only way to not succeed would be to give up, and you and I both know that is NOT going to happen. You will get there, my friend. Christmas is a stressful time. It shouldn't be, but it is. You are right to do what you need to do for yourself. You may be able to help someone when they are ready for help, but until then, there is nothing you can do. So, choose to help yourself right now, do what you need to do to keep Michelle happy and healthy. Take care of YOU and love YOU for the wonderful, amazing woman you are. Keep up the exercise and try to get outside when you can, it will help. Hang in there, hon. If I can do anything for you, you know that all you have to do is shout.
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TITUS2WMN 12/15/2010 10:40PM

    I'm glad you were able to vent and really get to the heart of what's bothering you. That is the first step in conquering it!!

:o) Christine

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TITUS2WMN 12/15/2010 10:40PM

    I'm glad you were able to vent and really get to the heart of what's bothering you. That is the first step in conquering it!!

:o) Christine

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KNITTABLES 12/15/2010 8:01PM

    emoticonI am struggling too and I wish you all the best.

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JUNEBUG1944 12/15/2010 1:12PM

    Oh Michelle...you are doing good. You are close to your goal weight and that is simply wonderful. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You can only do the best that you can do. Christmas is a tough season. We all forget the true meaning of it and think we have to spend, spend, spend. We don't. Token gifts are fine if you must give a gift. Cookies or fruit make a nice gift. It's a shame that Christmas stresses us out so much. Two years ago, we didn't do anything for Christmas because DH was recovering from back surgery...it was a great Christmas!

Don't beat yourself up. Exercise because that will make you feel better, both physically and mentally. Try not to eat between meals. If you do slip, well there's always tomorrow. We're trying to live a healthy lifestyle. If you deprive yourself, you aren't going to be healthy. Do what you can...the weight will come off. Try not to worry about what you didn't do or can't do. It'll only upset you...it won't make matters any better.

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IUHRYTR 12/15/2010 9:09AM

    Venting is okay here. You have friends who support you and many who relate because they, too, are going through similar problems. Often we use gifts out of guilt so we don't feel like a bad person, but a gift should be given from the heart to someone you appreciate and who appreciates you so don't feel guilty over saving your money. Send a card. We often eat for the same reason, because we feel bored or lonely or guilty over something and think food will make us feel better but it doesn't and makes us then despise that we gave in to it when we're trying to lose weight. So when you reach for food, ask if you are truly hungry or for some other reason. It is a struggle sometimes but take it one positive day at a time. Hang in there. emoticon -- Lou

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Day 3: continuing the journey

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- jlh

Give thanks for today.

It's funny today is day three of this week and im still on track. Heck the weekend hasn't even got me yet. Usually by now i've eaten anything that isn't tied down. I don't know what it is about the word "Sunday" but it usually means lets eat in spanish. today though I"ve stayed on track. My foods are good, i'm wayyyyy under, got to actually eat something a bit later or not eating will cause as much trouble as eating does. The body plays tricks with the weight you want it to let go of.

My grandson spent last night with us. Wow what a trip that little boy it. He keeps us in stitches. I even know what i'm getting for christmas. My daughter could of died. I told her you never tell a three year old anything you don't want others to know. It was funny though. I had promised him a yogurt when we got home from the grocery store, I didn't really think he would eat it, but as soon as we got home he wanted what I got at the grocery store. I forgot what that was. He hunted in the freezers, in the cupboard, everywhere. I still couldn't think what he had gotten. I showed him everything I had got for him, Juice, nope, cheese shaped like mickey mouse, nope, cereal, nope....then he remembers...yogurt. I laughed at him. He knew what I had told him and he doesn't forget. So i sat him down with it and he ate it all. My daughter said today he would get some from the store when they went. Hey it's good for him and he thinks its a treat. Can't beat that. My daughter thinks I just feed him healthy stuff. I get him what he asks for and most of the time he loves my foods.

Ok, I"m off to finish some sparking, earn a few points. Maybe finish folding some darn laundry. yuck. BUt tomorrow is monday and I have to have something to wear. Have a wonderful day all.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 12/13/2010 2:19AM

    Kids will surprise for sure, won't they? -- Lou

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KNITTABLES 12/12/2010 8:52PM

    Sounds like a great weekend. Out of the mouth of Babe. I know you will pretend to be surprised when you open the presents. Enjoy your night.

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/12/2010 8:13PM

    So glad you had a good weekend, stayed on track and enjoyed your grandson! My DD loves yogurt too..she even freezes it..I don't know about that! Good job, Michelle!!!

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KRICKET4 12/12/2010 7:16PM

    This is the time they form their eating habits. They don't know what's bad or good, might as well take advantage of this and instill some good habits so the little guy won't have weight problems later on. Good job, grandma :)

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JUNEBUG1944 12/12/2010 6:40PM

    Sounds like you have a wonderful time with that little guy! What fun they are at that age, eh? Glad you're having a good weekend! You go, girl!

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MRSGEDDES 12/12/2010 6:02PM

    Glad to here you are have a good weekend . Mine hasn't gotten me either which is great I am so happy about that! I hope your great week continues. My baby loves yogurt too!
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Day 2: new week in progress

Saturday, December 11, 2010

In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein

Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings. - jlh

I have a new week in progress. My week starts on friday with my weigh watchers weigh in. Since today is day two of the new week I'm going to give it heck. I only start to slide towards the end. i"m going to grab each day and take from it what I can. I can't go back but I sure can move forward. So that is where i'm headed forward.

Yesterday was a great day all around. I said a prayer and gave it all to god. I just couldn't handle the weight on my shoulders anylonger. And you know what? I feel a lot less stress right now. Some of you may not believe in the power of prayer but I love it. Every once in a while we just have to give in and let god.

So onwards and upwards. I"m moving forward. I can't fix what is done but I can make sure it doesn't happen again. That is what I intend to do. I want to succeed in all aspects of my life not just in my weight. I feel it is all connected. You gain control in one area and it flows to all parts.

So i'm off today to make the most of all the time I have. I succeeded yesterday and I know I can do it again today.....and if I should fail? I have tomorrow.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/12/2010 12:03AM

    You are on the right track and doing great! You know, sometimes we just have to realize that all the stress, the worries, the problems are more than we can bear alone and giving to God is the best we can do. I hope you continue to find relief and peace!! I believe that as we take control of areas of our life that it overflows into other areas..as we become more confident, more relaxed, more focused, have more energy and are generally healthier, things start falling into place in many areas. Keep moving girl, you are amazing!!!

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JUNEBUG1944 12/11/2010 10:37PM

    Your attitude is great, Michelle! You're gonna do it and do it right!
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KNITTABLES 12/11/2010 6:35PM

    That's great, Go for it! and have a great weekend. emoticon

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IUHRYTR 12/11/2010 1:31PM

    It's not the first chop of the ax or the last that fells a tree but the total of all of the efforts combined. So stay the course, one positive step at a time. Aim to lose one pound, just one, then enjoy that success and do it again. emoticon -- Lou

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MISTYRIVER64 12/11/2010 11:06AM

    Good for you Michelle - Sounds like you are on the right track. You can do it today.



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KRICKET4 12/11/2010 11:04AM

    You won't fail. Make today the best day you can.

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GHOSTFLAMES 12/11/2010 8:43AM

    WAY TO GO YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST ASK TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK.

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Brighter tomorrows?

Friday, December 10, 2010


You can view this and all previous Daily Inspirations with pictures and active links at http://blog.dreamthisday.com/
Please see our Frequently Asked Questions page for Help with your Daily Inspiration email subscription at http://www.dreamthisday.com/help.php

Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote ... Jonathan Lockwood Huie

December 10, 2010

Insights for living Simply An Inspired Life



Dear Michelle



Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
- Henry Ford

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- jlh

133.4

My weigh in was this morning. I"m back to where I was at the end of last month. So to me basically i'm starting at ground zero. This is good. I now have a beginning and maybe an end is in sight. Yesterday I was having the day of all bad days. Nothing went right and then i end my day at work by upsetting a customer. Now yes, she got me first but that is still no excuse. I took my mood out on her. I felt like crap all evening about it. Lesson learned here: no matter how bad your day is don't thrust it onto someone else. today is a new day. My finances don't look much better today but again this is a new day and I will get through this rough patch with a bit of creativity just like always. So my motto today is "onwards and upwards". I can't give up on me now.

So today is fresh, new, full of wonder and awe. I will give it my best and I will give my best to all that come in contact with me today. Onwards and upwards.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 12/10/2010 4:03PM

    emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 12/10/2010 12:27PM

    It's tough when we lose ground and have to cover it again! You're almost there, girlfriend...you can do it!


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KRICKET4 12/10/2010 10:49AM

    Thanks for sharing this link. I have bookmarked it and will explore this page further over the weekend.

Seems like this time of year is always a bit more difficult to handle. Hang in there.

I like this quote:
"A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.
Burrhus Frederic Skinner
(I think I stole this off of one of Lou's blogs :))

Here's to brighter tomorrows.
emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/10/2010 10:55:47 AM

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IUHRYTR 12/10/2010 10:15AM

    Often, when I feel discouraged and tired of trying I think of the early explorers and the settlers of the old west who never gave up although their despair must have been thousands of times greater than mine. Despite the troubles we all face, let's try to make every day the best one we can. Hang in there. -- Lou

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Brighter tomorrows?

Friday, December 10, 2010


You can view this and all previous Daily Inspirations with pictures and active links at http://blog.dreamthisday.com/
Please see our Frequently Asked Questions page for Help with your Daily Inspiration email subscription at http://www.dreamthisday.com/help.php

Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote ... Jonathan Lockwood Huie

December 10, 2010

Insights for living Simply An Inspired Life



Dear Michelle



Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
- Henry Ford

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- jlh

133.4

My weigh in was this morning. I"m back to where I was at the end of last month. So to me basically i'm starting at ground zero. This is good. I now have a beginning and maybe an end is in sight. Yesterday I was having the day of all bad days. Nothing went right and then i end my day at work by upsetting a customer. Now yes, she got me first but that is still no excuse. I took my mood out on her. I felt like crap all evening about it. Lesson learned here: no matter how bad your day is don't thrust it onto someone else. today is a new day. My finances don't look much better today but again this is a new day and I will get through this rough patch with a bit of creativity just like always. So my motto today is "onwards and upwards". I can't give up on me now.

So today is fresh, new, full of wonder and awe. I will give it my best and I will give my best to all that come in contact with me today. Onwards and upwards.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/10/2010 11:52PM

    You can do it! Oh, boy, do I know those days...a customer starts it, they are rude, obnoxious and generally a pain...and every once in a while I let it get to me and the smile fades and I say something I shouldn't have. Yeah, been there. Then I feel bad about it because well, just because they were obnoxious was not an excuse for me to get short tempered. Doesn't happen often, but still...
Keep hanging in there...things will get better. Another word I like when things are looking hopeless is TEMPORARY. I remind myself that it is not going to last.


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JUNEBUG1944 12/10/2010 12:54PM

    Gee, you liked this blog so much you posted it twice... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JESSIELOVE78 12/10/2010 10:53AM

    emoticon. you are doing emoticon!!!

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