Thursday, December 09, 2010
Be gentle first with yourself - if you wish to be gentle with others.
- Lama Yeshe
May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
I had a wonderfully successful day yesterday. Of course I worked till nine and it is hard to run back and forth to the pantry when there is none. lol. I did get in about 60 min. of cardio and some strength yesterday before I headed to work. Funny how that makes you feel so much better. this morning I was having a moment, not a food moment but a everything is going wrong moment. You know the one, where you blame yourself for past mistakes when you can't go back. You kick yourself for decisions left undid. this is my pms time and i'm really feeling it. my moods are all over the place. The day before yesterday I wanted to kick something or someone. lol. Yesterday I was on top of the world, this morning i'm a mass of tears.
I have to be honest, this time of year doesn't help. there is never enough money to pay the bills let alone buy gifts. I get stressed and then it happens.....i get down on myself. Ishould of done this, or why didn't I do that. Well I can't go back. I can only go forward. Same with my weightloss, what is done is done. I can only move ahead and try to not make the same mistake twice. Isn't it funny how your life and your journey walk hand in hand. Get strong in one area and be strong in others.
Today is my day to stand strong. I can't go back, I won't beat myself up over it. What is done is done....but watch out....i'm coming full steam ahead.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Im ready to get this journey moving down the road. I've been taking a moment and letting the days slip by me. Now it is almost the end of the year and my second goal for the year was to meet my goal. I'm going to come up short yet again. Oh I know i've reached so many goals this year, i've suceeded in all that counts, but I really wanted to reach my goal weigh. I wanted to finally settle down and get this part done. well that isn't going to happen this month. Oh I could do the "colon cleanse" and get it done like in a day. Of course tomorrow it would be right back to normal. Wow the things some will do to shed a few pounds.
Today is a new day for me. I've had an epiphany on the treadmill, yup walking does that to me, I saw me as I am and I saw me as I want to be. At goal. Now mind you i'm not going to be much smaller, i'm about there, it isn't about the size it is about the part of actually finishing something. I watched the biggest loser last night and Elizabeth had the same idea. She just wanted to finish something she began. Oh i've started a lot of things. But i've finished a couple and I can proudly say i'm still doing it. LIke smoking. I quit that some 10 years ago. I can't say i'm disappointed in that decision. Yuk. I stood up for my daughter and her choices and I still have held by that all these 8 years later. I'm strong when it counts. I"ve taken care of my son and let him go. That was a hard one for me. We don't see eye to eye right now because I guess i'm the reason for all his troubles. this is not true, but when your an addict someone is always to blame but you. I'm living with this and i'm handling it, day by day. So why is it that dieting, weight loss, is so darn hard. What is it about the control food has over us that we can't seem to beat? Im trying to change my thinking on this and maybe just maybe I will win this coming year. Oh I know I can.
I'm ready? Yup, I'm more than ready.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
I'm so busy right now. We have been short handed at work this week and when I get home I just want to crash. I eat my dinner and then head to bed. tonight is my biggest loser and im up watching it. I'm so tired but I want to see this one to the end. This week i'm pretty much holding my own. I 've had a few good days and I still have a few good days left before my weekly weigh in. I'm no so confident about a loss but really i'm just happy to be taking better care of me right now. It will all fall into place i'm sure. Well that is my hope.
the weather has been so cold here that my evening walk with my buddies was cut out. they went, I wussed out. Sorry guys I hate the cold. I will try to do better this coming week but i'm not so sure I'm up for this. they laugh at me because when it was the heat of the summer I walked when it was 100* and now I won't walk in the cold. sorry I hate the cold, I figure I didn't go far enough south.
Ok, I'm planning my days, acting on them. I even had a christmas party the other night and handled it with ease. I had no dessert, drank water with my meal, and just made good choices. today I had a moment with the vending machine and I won. I thought I wanted some necot cookies during my lunch. I had a heart to heart with myself and I decided that after I ate my lunch if I still wanted them cookies I would have them. I ate my lunch, got up and headed out for a stroll. I never looked back. If I had given in I would of hurt myself and my pride. I waited the craving out. I won that small battle. For me who usually gives in that was an awesome victory. It proved to me I could do it. I will try that again.
So i'm off to finish my biggest loser, have a water, and just relax. We can do this. We can do anything we set our minds to. After all we are spark people we can do anything.
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