MALEXANDER4   160,416
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I'm ready?

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

emoticonIm ready to get this journey moving down the road. I've been taking a moment and letting the days slip by me. Now it is almost the end of the year and my second goal for the year was to meet my goal. I'm going to come up short yet again. Oh I know i've reached so many goals this year, i've suceeded in all that counts, but I really wanted to reach my goal weigh. I wanted to finally settle down and get this part done. well that isn't going to happen this month. Oh I could do the "colon cleanse" and get it done like in a day. Of course tomorrow it would be right back to normal. Wow the things some will do to shed a few pounds. emoticon emoticon

Today is a new day for me. I've had an epiphany on the treadmill, yup walking does that to me, I saw me as I am and I saw me as I want to be. At goal. Now mind you i'm not going to be much smaller, i'm about there, it isn't about the size it is about the part of actually finishing something. I watched the biggest loser last night and Elizabeth had the same idea. She just wanted to finish something she began. Oh i've started a lot of things. But i've finished a couple and I can proudly say i'm still doing it. LIke smoking. I quit that some 10 years ago. I can't say i'm disappointed in that decision. Yuk. I stood up for my daughter and her choices and I still have held by that all these 8 years later. I'm strong when it counts. I"ve taken care of my son and let him go. That was a hard one for me. We don't see eye to eye right now because I guess i'm the reason for all his troubles. this is not true, but when your an addict someone is always to blame but you. I'm living with this and i'm handling it, day by day. So why is it that dieting, weight loss, is so darn hard. What is it about the control food has over us that we can't seem to beat? Im trying to change my thinking on this and maybe just maybe I will win this coming year. Oh I know I can.

I'm ready? Yup, I'm more than ready.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 12/8/2010 5:56PM

    Don't lose your positive attitude. One pound at a time. We can all do that, can't we? -- Lou

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KNITTABLES 12/8/2010 2:34PM

    Michelle you are a winner, you truly are. You are going forward day by day and changing as you go. You are almost there and I can see you at the finish line and doing Maintenance. emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 12/8/2010 12:47PM

    Michelle, you have already won! Look! You're almost there. Yeah, it's taken you longe than you wanted and you've had some bumps in the road...but, girl, you'll be at the end of this road soon! Yeah, there's another road called "Maintenance Boulevard," but you'll be on it with loads of other Sparkpals! I'll be there in a few years...see you there!
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TITUS2WMN 12/8/2010 12:26PM

    Michelle,

You are an inspiration and I am glad I have met you through SparkPeople!!!

:o) Christine

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So busy

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

I'm so busy right now. We have been short handed at work this week and when I get home I just want to crash. I eat my dinner and then head to bed. tonight is my biggest loser and im up watching it. I'm so tired but I want to see this one to the end. This week i'm pretty much holding my own. I 've had a few good days and I still have a few good days left before my weekly weigh in. I'm no so confident about a loss but really i'm just happy to be taking better care of me right now. It will all fall into place i'm sure. Well that is my hope.

the weather has been so cold here that my evening walk with my buddies was cut out. they went, I wussed out. Sorry guys I hate the cold. I will try to do better this coming week but i'm not so sure I'm up for this. they laugh at me because when it was the heat of the summer I walked when it was 100* and now I won't walk in the cold. sorry I hate the cold, I figure I didn't go far enough south.

Ok, I'm planning my days, acting on them. I even had a christmas party the other night and handled it with ease. I had no dessert, drank water with my meal, and just made good choices. today I had a moment with the vending machine and I won. I thought I wanted some necot cookies during my lunch. I had a heart to heart with myself and I decided that after I ate my lunch if I still wanted them cookies I would have them. I ate my lunch, got up and headed out for a stroll. I never looked back. If I had given in I would of hurt myself and my pride. I waited the craving out. I won that small battle. For me who usually gives in that was an awesome victory. It proved to me I could do it. I will try that again.

So i'm off to finish my biggest loser, have a water, and just relax. We can do this. We can do anything we set our minds to. After all we are spark people we can do anything.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 12/8/2010 2:35PM

    You are winning this battle and I am so happy for you. Keep it up, you are doing great. emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 12/7/2010 11:36PM

    Sounds like you are doing great. I don't blame you about your walk. I WALKED on Sunday and froze my butt off (don't I wish it were that easy! LOL). This cold weather sucks! Good for you for beating those cookies...sometimes they are stronger than we are!
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KENDRACARROLL 12/7/2010 10:54PM

    Oh, I have these stare downs with the vending machine, too.
Great job not giving in.

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IUHRYTR 12/7/2010 10:40PM

    Every battle we win over the cookies or other sweets makes us stronger for the next temptation. That took you closer to your goal and reaching that will make you so much happier than a cookie or two. Good going! Hang in there. -- Lou

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Saturday

Saturday, December 04, 2010

emoticonI just returned from a emoticonwith my dogs. The weather here right now is awesome. Today has been a fair day. I got all my challenges done so far. I have one more...no eating after dinner. I'm holding off dinner for a bit so I won't be tempted. I did spend my afternoon munching but for the most part I made good choices and I did have one not so good choice. I'm good, I allowed for it in my totals and it is going to work out. I felt a bit of guilt like normal but when I logged it (thank you louise), I found that I did ok. I adjusted my dinner to compensate for it. Imagine that having my cake (or muffin as the case may be) and still having dinner and just giving up a bread for it. That was it folks, the bread off my turkey burger and i'm good. So you see we can make adjustments and still enjoy a bit of emoticonevery now and again. It has taken me two years to get this in my head. Before I just beat myself up for it.

I have a christmas party tomorrow with my work. I have planned for this and I think with all the veggie dishes all is bringing we are going to be fine. Or rather i'm going to be fine. I'm ready at any rate. I may even enjoy a bit of dessert. I will have to see how my day goes.

Ok. that is about it today. very boring to say the least. I got my shopping done for the week and i'm stocked with healthy choices for now. So let the week begin.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/7/2010 11:04AM

    Hope you enjoyed the party! You are doing great! Wonderful attitude about switching things around to be able to enjoy your treat GUILT FREE! Woohoo!!
I'm proud of you!
Kristi

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JUNEBUG1944 12/5/2010 11:43PM

    It was a beautiful day yesterday...way too cold today! I WALKED. Yes, it was only for 15 minutes, but I walked! Staying within our calorie range is important, but you can have your cake and eat it too! (Sorry, I had to say that!) You had another good day and that is great! Way to go, girlie! Enjoy your party...just prepare for it AND DON'T FORGET YOUR WATER!
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KNITTABLES 12/4/2010 7:46PM

    sounds like a great day to me. I am still mending from having the flu and would love to be outside for a while. Enjoy the party tomorrow.

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 12/4/2010 7:09PM

    Sounds like a day of thought and careful planning!!!!! AND....movement! Enjoy the party!!!!!!!!!!
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IUHRYTR 12/4/2010 6:39PM

    This may not be you but many people think anything they eat at night will turn to fat but SP and other articles remind us that is not true, that it is the day's total calories that count. -- Lou

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Time to use the tools

Friday, December 03, 2010

emoticonIf I don't start using these tools as they were intended i'm going to really hate myself in the morning. emoticonI'm strong, i'm here, i'm living the life. I talk the talk now it is time to walk the walk. emoticonMy weigh in this morning was so darn emoticonbut why is that? I didn't follow the plan or use the tools like they were intended. Oh I said I was, I wrote it all down, I logged it all in the trackers, I exercised, I tracked it. But I was just going through the motions. I measured maybe once, used my food scales I don't even think that much, I choose to eat choices that were not the best, I choose to eat too much of most everything. See it all comes back to choices. I have come to the conclusion though that with this lesson i've learned one big thing: I control what goes into my mouth, it doesn't control me. That said I must say that I had a very signifigant gain: 1.2 pounds this week. Now yes, that is thanksgiving, moments, new ww plan that i'm haveing a bit of trouble controling, and just being lazy. Yup lazy. Not lazy in the physical sense, no i've got the exercise thing down, it is the complacent way i'm eating. I'm eating to eat. Im not hungry, i'm not really even bored. I'm just eating to say i've eaten.

emoticonI'm sorry I let me down. But from here on this moment, i've printed out the power foods list, i've got my notebook, i've got my scales, my measuring cups, i've got my sanity and i've got my spark friends and most of all i've got my best bud right by my side. Kristi we are going to do this. One day at a time. I can't go back, but I sure as heck can move forward and I intend to do just that.

So the next time you see me I hope I can report my successes for a change.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 12/4/2010 1:26AM

    No, you don't hope to be able to report progress. You WILL report progress. Go for it! -- Lou

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TENACITY129 12/3/2010 9:42PM

    emoticon You are emoticon and emoticon strong. You will succeed.

Comment edited on: 12/3/2010 9:43:32 PM

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JUNEBUG1944 12/3/2010 8:40PM

    Hey Michelle, You are emoticon emoticon forward...you know what choices to make and you will make them. You are so close and will get there very soon. Make the right choices and stick to your plan and you'll succeed!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VALERIENEAL 12/3/2010 4:58PM

    emoticon

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KNITTABLES 12/3/2010 4:33PM

    You are strong and successful, keep that in mind, I find myself knitting or crocheting to take my mind off eating junk or food for that matter. Can't have yucky hands when I am working on an order for a customer or for myself. I also eat a lot of veggies and that helps too. emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 12/3/2010 10:41AM

    Isn't it just totally annoying how slowly the weight drops and how quickly it comes back?!? Good thing you know why and you can work on that.

I've found something to keep down cravings, that works for me right now. Granted, I'm only into it for 5 days, but for me 5 days without junk food is great. I have increased my veggies and fruits drastically. Well, maybe going from 1 serving to 8 servings is not that drastic, but it is for me. I'm eating huge amounts of green stuff (red and yellow, too) and for some reason it fills me up to the point where I don't crave ANYTHING. (Let's hope this continues...)

Wishing you well, my friend.

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 12/3/2010 10:09AM

    Keep pressing forward. You remind me sooooo much of myself when I got so close to my goal. What do you think that is causing you to self sabotage? YOU CAN CONQUER THIS!
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Your advantage is that you are blogging about it and discussing it. I went into my cave by myself so I am proud of you!!!

You will hit the emoticon

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/3/2010 9:17AM

    You are already a success my dear! NOW - we have work to do this week and by george we are going to do it! We are going to use the tools available to us, we are going to choose wisely in the food department and we are going to have a moment of cheering when we next step on the scale. You are close, and I think you let the stress of being so close get to you sometimes. This week I challenge you to stop being so hard on yourself, yes, I know you think you need to be, BUT I want you to look in that mirror this week and tell yourself how far you have come, praise your good efforts and your progress, know that you are not TRYING to live a healthy lifestyle, but that you are ALREADY living it and if possible, give yourself a great big hug!! Have a great week!!
Kristi

Comment edited on: 12/3/2010 9:24:11 AM

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Why do I let me down?

Thursday, December 02, 2010

emoticonI seem to have this inner turmoil going on with myself. I had a "moment" last night. Not just any moment, I mean the moment from hell. I not only went to bed, then I got up out of bed three times. Not once, twice, but three dang times. I wrote it all down. Oh it didn't look too bad on paper or in the tracker, but inside myself it felt like crap.

I had the talk with myself this morning as I was trudging along on the treadmill. Why? Why is the question I asked me. I know I want to reach goal, I say I want to reach goal, but seems each time I get within a few pounds of the final number I gain a pound. I haven't weighed yet this week and I may not have done any damage at all. That is neither here nor there. The point is I did something i've been working on not doing for a long time. I had it down. I was going to bed with water and that was it. But nope, last night I allowed my mind to rule my body. I wasn't hungry, I was probably tired. I mean I was in bed reading. I should of turned out the light and let that me it.

I'm not beating myself up over this. dont think that. I"m not looking for a pat on the back, a "it is going to be ok", no I';m not needing any of that. This is strickly for me to look back on and see that I have come so far. I can't let one "moment" rule my life. I can have moments and still survive. I can have my cake on occasion and eat it too. Last night I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't that is the problem. So today I move on. I have had the talk, i'm back on track. I know what I want and I won't let my little setbacks get in my way. this is life. My life, I intend to make it a good life for me. One that I can be proud of. You know what? I already am. I"m down 21 pounds. I've never done this. I've never given all I could for me. So i'm a winner even with the snack.

Michelle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 12/2/2010 9:03PM

    You are going to do it. Just keep moving honey, you are doing fine.

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JUNEBUG1944 12/2/2010 8:45PM

    One mistake is not going to set you back...it's just a minor delay. Sometimes we just need a break so we do what we shouldn't. You're going to reach your goal...it's right there in front of you...very close...you can touch it...YOU WILL GRAB IT!
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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 12/2/2010 7:23PM

    emoticon

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IUHRYTR 12/2/2010 6:28PM

    Remember that you don't drive to work or anywhere else, stop at a red light, turn around and go back home. We wait out those minor delays, setbacks, and then continue on our way. Some days we have smooth driving and catch all of the lights on green. But regardless of the bumps or detours along the way, we eventually reach our destination. Hang in there and give it your best every day. Hit a snag one day? Overcome it and continue on. -- Lou

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SPARKYEG 12/2/2010 12:58PM

    We might always have "that one night" now and again, but you are pushing on. Keep it up.

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RACHD80 12/2/2010 12:49PM

    Thanks for sharing, I have been going through the same thing.

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