MALEXANDER4   160,692
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Happy Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 25, 2010

emoticonFirst and foremost I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my spark friends. This has been a journey this year that is for sure and you all have made it worth the trip. Thank you. I"m truly blessed to have you all in my corner.

Today I decided I would weigh in because since today I may choose bad options, I wanted to be "safe". well the scales didn't budge. So do I wait one day? will it really matter? I don't think it will be whatever it says I will post tomorrow. You know it is very disheartening to do all the right things and hop on those scales and expect to see a change, even a slight change, and nothing. You surely deflate. I know I did. I was so upset. I sat down and went back over my week to make sure I hadn't done anything I wasn't suppose to and forgot. Nope I did it all right. But I got in a lot of exercise, maybe too much and not enough food. Funny how not eating enough can cause as much trouble as eating too much. Funny thing our bodies.

I had my moment. I"m over it. I know that I did all that I could do. I can't go back only forward. I will do my darndest to have this week catch up with me next week. I have started exercising like a fiend and maybe I need to take a day off and just relax. I used to do sunday like that and then for some reason I was so wrapped up in exercise I kept going. Who knows maybe I need a day of rest both in food and exercise. Well ok exericse, never food. That would be a catastrophe for me.

Ok. I 'm off to put my turkey in the oven. I wonder when I get to go to my childrens homes and get to eat and bring the rolls. lol.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/29/2010 5:40PM

    Hmmm..maybe if you are exercising more you need to account for that and adjust your calorie intake? Not sure how WW works that, I did WW years ago, and it's foggy...but maybe you're doing too much exercise for the amount of calories you are eating and it's stalling your loss?

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KNITTABLES 11/26/2010 12:48AM

    Happy Thanksgiving. emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 11/25/2010 4:13PM

    Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear friend! Did ya ever think ya may be gaining more muscle? Lots of exercise will do that.

My sister graduated to doing the holidays when my mother turned around niece started the Christmas cooking when she had her first baby (he's 15, now) because her husband refuses to go ANYWHERE for Christmas...he wants Christmas at their house so the kids can get up to Santa at home. Of course, my sister and I help...I do the pies (at least 4 this year) and my sister does...actually, I can't remember what she does, but the three of us are working in the kitchen to get that meal on the table. We have a great time!

So, to answer your question, probably when you are 75 or as soon as you get old and feeble... emoticon

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JESSIELOVE78 11/25/2010 12:28PM

    Happy Thanksgiving!!! Have an emoticon day!! You can do it.

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IUHRYTR 11/25/2010 12:27PM

    Perhaps reading my blog, "Are You a Lumberjack?" will hope put things into focus. I don't promote and beg people to read what I write like some people, but this one may be helpful. Stay the course. Never give. Always believe in yourself. -- Lou

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KENDRACARROLL 11/25/2010 10:52AM

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 11/25/2010 7:55AM

    Happy Thanksgiving Michelle! Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes our bodies take awhile to show the results of our good habits. Have a blessed day with your family!

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GLOWORM1963 11/25/2010 7:12AM

    Happy Thanksgiving ~ Hope you have a Wonderful Day!!!

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

emoticonI'm sitting here this morning wondering what do I blog about. I mean yes i'm on this journey, yes I exercise, my family (though very disfunctional) is mine, I mean am I really happy with my journey? both in my weight loss and in my personal life. I mean each day is a journey into ourselves really. I went back to work yesterday after a much needed break. It was wonderful. I wasn't stressed even before I got there and I took each happening in stride and the day just flew by and I wasn't stressed from it. Why can't each day be that easy? My weight loss journey for the moment in on track. I'm planning and doing what is needed, i'm relaxed, i'm secure in knowing i'm doing what i need to do to reach the finish line of this part of the race. Why isn't each week this secure?

We all have our own demons we fight each day, weather they be financial, personal, family, diet, weight, we all have stresses in our life. I guess the key is how we handle that stress. Now i'm not going to tell you my secret because really I don't even know what that would be. I stress daily, I worry over bills, My family as i've said is disfunctional to say the least, and my journey is always up or down depending on the day. I have no answer to the million dollar question called: what is life?

I have no answers, but I know one thing......i'm learning i'm strong, I can win this small battle, I can see past the past and move forward. If I don't I will surely drive myself insane. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make all the troubles in my life disapear. Not going to be. I wish I could win the lottery and poff all my financial woes are gone. nope, that isnt going to happen either. I wish I could take that magical pill that makes me thin in one week....yeah right, not going to ever happen people. I just have to take each day, step, and moment and make it mine. I have to own my troubles, find the cure or what works for me and smile. Most of all smile through it all.

this is thanksgiving week, I've been thinking over what i'm thankful for. Oh there is daughter, my son, my husband, my grandson. It is funny my home, my job, and such come in at the bottom. Family is the key to happiness. Now mine is a mess, my son is an addict, my daughter is working fulltime and going to school fulltime and with the help of her( dare I say this) black husband to be, they are raising a beautiful child, My hubby bless his heart is so unhealthy right now, hight cholesterol, thyroid, trying to quit smoking, (we are working on all this), then there is me.............Oh really I'm just trying to hold it all together. I handle the day to day, the planning, the finanes. When they fall into trouble I blame myself because hey I should of planned better. Then I try to work on me.

Well guys, i'm working on me. I'm doing it. One day at a time. Oh I messup, fall down on my face alot. I mean it has taken me two years almost to lose 25 pounds. Yeah they say slow and steady wins the race, but come on now. So in the midst of all that is worrisome in our lives. we have much to be thankful for. I'm very thankful for spark, and for being able to type this mess out and clear my mind for another day.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSAWRAP_DIMI 11/26/2010 3:21PM

    Great blog...even the "dare I say part" (the pic of the cute little boy does give that fact away)LOL
But sweets you are not alone ALL of US have some dysfunction in the family. Hell if Adam and Eve could not get it together who are we. BUT I do like that despite all that is going on you are striving to respond to the stress in the most positive way. My youngests child's dad is an addict and my dad was an alcoholic it is a hard place to be as a parent. BUT keep up the good work that you are doing on YOU!!!! AND continue to take care of you no matter what. I am trying to reduce my stress as well so we can strive to keep each other sane! Huggs and Kisses dimi

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PVILLELADY 11/24/2010 5:28AM

    I swear we're living nearly identical lives... Thanks for the reminder to be thankful for the good in my life, and not resentful of what I don't have! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!


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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/23/2010 9:50PM

    Thanks for sharing Michelle. You are proving yourself to be stronger than you ever imagined, and learning you are deserving of the love of yourself and others. That is something to be thankful for! Is there such a thing as a family that is NOT dysfunctional?? Just wondering...but yes, you said it, they are OURS dysfunction and all, and we love them dearly. We might not understand them, or know what to do for them, and sometimes we just have to let go, but we love them always.
You are doing a great job, my friend. Just keep on taking care of yourself and the rest always seems to work out.
Know that you are appreciated and loved..just for being you.

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IUHRYTR 11/23/2010 8:22PM

    None of us are perfect and just think if you hadn't started on weight loss two years ago you would still carry that extra 25 pounds. Would that have made you happy? Probably not. So be proud of how far you have come and remember that while we would like to be at our goal weight right NOW, we know it will take time. But every pound lost is one positive step to where we want to be. Hang in there. -- Lou

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JESSIELOVE78 11/23/2010 11:09AM

    Thank you for the wonderful blog. There is so much we have to be thankful for. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

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KENDRACARROLL 11/23/2010 11:08AM

    As moms we just want to fix everything and getting to the realization that we can't is just heartbreaking. But this is real and this is life. We cannot fix anything but ourselves, and the ones around us need to come to that same realization in order to help themselves. Oh yes, we can suggest and we can point out, we can even scream and threaten, and maybe, sometimes, we are heard; maybe not.
We give our kids the basics and then they need to fly on their own.
Yes, we'll probably always be there to pick up the pieces (and die a little bit more inside each time we do), but maybe that's normal. Maybe that's what moms are born to do. Caring moms anyway.
So, given your circumstances, make it your best life!
Wow, we're really all in this together!

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KNITTABLES 11/23/2010 10:58AM

    What a great blog. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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CHINAGAL 11/23/2010 9:49AM

    I'm thankful for sparkfriends like you that help keep things in perspective. A friend says "I give my troubles to the Lord, but then I snatch them right back." I think that's true of all of us - we just can't let go of the stress and worry. Sometimes I think the reason I'm so heavy is that I'm carrying too much of everyone else's load, but I know that doing so doesn't really lessen their burden - it's just what moms do!

Thanks for a thought provoking blog. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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NUTRON3 11/23/2010 7:19AM

    Great blog!

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I'm taking this all the way

Monday, November 22, 2010

If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?

~Joe Namath

I borrowed this from my WW team. It speaks so true for a lot of us. We start out on this journey with so many ideas, plans, goals. Then as the time goes by we sort of just do. We stop planning, the ideas seem few and far between, and goals? What were those? But i'm here for the long haul. Oh i've had stops, restarts, moments, and emoticonmoments. So today i've decided I want it all. I want the gold stars, I want the health, I want to be fit. I want to be in a healthy BMI range. I'm almost there, for me to quit now would be crazy. But alas many do. Many quit before they see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not I!!!!!!!!!!!

So today my goal is to focus yet again. I need to figure out what it is I want from this, from me, from the world at large. I can do this, I will do this. I won't take no I can't for an answer. So today decide what it is you want and go for it. No excuses why you can't, just do it. After all that is what this journey is all about.....just doing it.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIELOVE78 11/24/2010 9:27AM

    emoticon emoticon You are awesome!!!!

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/23/2010 9:45PM

    I'm right there with ya! Focus is something that seems to elude me sometimes, but together we can do this!!

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JUNEBUG1944 11/22/2010 5:15PM

    Me, too! It's a long journey, but we must and will stay on it. It will never end, but we don't want good things to end, do we?

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KNITTABLES 11/22/2010 11:53AM

    Great blog, great attitude and emoticon

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IUHRYTR 11/22/2010 9:38AM

    emoticon emoticon = Your motivation! -- Lou

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TBONE13 11/22/2010 7:04AM

  great attitude, good luck !!

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Focus: that is my goal for today

Saturday, November 20, 2010

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.
It's to enjoy each step along the way.
- Wayne Dyer

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
- Oprah Winfrey

My husband was looking over my shoulder last night (he will do that from time to time), he gives me ideas, none I would use, and he noticed my pic. I thought he had seen it....he said that didnt' even look like me. He said the camera must of added pounds because I don't look that big in person. I told him that was the nicest thing he could of said to me. I thought my pic was wonderful. Now I see i'm actually smaller than that. Wow, I have come a long way.

Sometimes I focus so much on what i'm doing wrong on this journey I forget what i'm doing right. My friend suggested a motivation board to work on this weekend. You know I felt that was a wonderful Idea. I have yet to do my collage for spark and myself. It seems like it is time to sit down and do that. I went through some pics. OMG is what comes to mind. They are sad. sad for me that is. In a couple you would never recognize me when my kids where small. I was near 200 and rather large. I looked and it made me so sad for her. that lonely woman in those pics. Yup I was lonely. My ex wasn't there in the physical sense and when he was he sure wasn't there for me mentally. I was very lonely and I guess food and sleep where my best friends. Oh we were close, I slept all day long and when it neared time for him to come home I would do the dishes, start supper, throw in a load of get the picture. It was a messy divorce and many years later I learned I was depressed. I just thought I was a miserable person. That dark place is somewhere I don't ever want to be again.

I thank my friend for leading me to spark. I also thank my husband for the many times he has listened to me, given me advice, told me he never saw me as big, all these things have made me strong. I also want to thank my Team alabama team mates for the humor, the exericses, the challenges, I want to thank my WW team for the same. You guys have made me sit down and focus on me, you have given me the motivation I sometimes needed to finally get to this pount.

I know I sound like i'm receiving my award, and really I did yesterday, 50000 spark points. that is a lot of reading, exercise, and just plain sparking. But really this journey would of been very lonely without you all. Thank you for giving my Focus on me for the first time in a very long time.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/23/2010 9:43PM

    You've made such progress, and I am so glad you are starting to see that! You aren't alone and you will never have to go back to that place. Embrace the new you and be proud of yourself!!

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 11/21/2010 8:50AM

    I am so happy for you and your progress!!! I am glad that your friend lead you to sparkpeople.

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IUHRYTR 11/20/2010 7:37PM

    Isn't seeing progress a nice feeling, validating all of our hard work and discipline? Stay the course and keep believing in yourself. -- Lou

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KNITTABLES 11/20/2010 6:55PM

    Your very welcome and you have worked so hard to get where you are and you look great. Keep up the great work and I am so thankful that I have you as a spark friend. emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 11/20/2010 5:32PM

    You're've been there for us, also. That's what a team is all about...helping each other. We can't do this alone...I know I've tried it alone many times before! You've come a long way and overcome adversity. You look great...but more important, you feel great, both mentally and physically! You go, girl!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Is all this really worth it?

Friday, November 19, 2010

emoticonYou've got to be kidding me. emoticonBut I worked so hard. Oh well the results are in, im only down a little .2. I mean what is that? Yup I know I should take it and be proud for the loss. Yup, I know I should look at other ways I may have lost, my pants are loose (I'm almost to goal, all my pants are loose), I might have built muscle (in what my big toe), I earned my "stars", I worked out a lot, I didn't sit around and eat. emoticon Yet those darn, dreaded, hated, scales let me down. I mean I was hoping for say half pound, maybe a full pound if I was really lucky. Nope, not in the cards this week. I pretty much stayed the same, because I had gained that the week before.

I'm so close to goal, 5 lbs, so I know this part could be the toughest, oh I know all the whys, whatfors, and all that good stuff. But come on body cut me some slack. I give you what you need, want, and a bit inbetween, I exercise faithfully (I really like exercise), I drink water that I would rather be anything else, I sleep, I relax. What more do you want from me. I make mistakes, yes, i'm human. But the scales, oh the scales made me so mad today.

So I titled this blog "is all this really worth it?" because sometimes it can get so darn frustrating. Your body is suppose to be your best friend, but it isn't, it fights you every step of the way, you give it what it needs, it wants more, yOu exercise, it gives you sore muscles for days, You drink the water it requires, you can't stay out of the bathroom no matter that you just went. It fights you every darn step of the way.

Well not this time. I'm fighting it. I'm not quiting, though right now I want to, i'm not giving up on myself. I've done that a thousand times before. Nope today I do what I always do, I have my coffee, exercise for about an hour, eat a good breakfast, and begin anew. I'm strong, i'm determined, i'm in control (right now), and i'm going to see a loss of some caliber next week. day by day I will get to my goal.

So again I ask me is all this really worth it? Oh you betcha it is.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMAKITTY10 11/20/2010 9:15AM

  They say the last 5 or 10 pounds are the hardest to lose. I wouldn't know about that because I've lost the first 10 pounds 20 times over. Your so close just dont give up. Keep a positive attitude. YOU CAN DO IT.

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JUNEBUG1944 11/19/2010 8:42PM

    You are soooooooooooo close! You will do it, girlfriend!

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GAMMAKISS 11/19/2010 5:37PM

    Oh yes it is worth it! I agree with everyone here! Keep it up, you have worked so hard. You know you are feeling better, your clothes are loose! Remember - You're strong, You're determined, You're in control. That's a great motto!
emoticon emoticon

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RACEMOM576900 11/19/2010 5:26PM

    Great read. Thanks for sharing your inspiration. You can do this. I can't wait until I reach 5 lbs with in my goal. I am a long ways away and keep getting stuck already.

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BARRAY5 11/19/2010 10:00AM

    good blog! way to motivate me! I'm with you on not losing! I'll be stuck for every but I'm not giving up either! emoticon

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TAMMERIAN 11/19/2010 8:58AM

    Really, in the end, weight isn't really an issue. If you are down to the size you want to be then what is weight? Besides, muscle weighs more...IMO the end weight is just a guideline. It's all about size :)

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STEINERMOM 11/19/2010 7:21AM

  Maybe your body is just helping to practice patience, perserverance and loving the self.

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HEIDIB2935 11/19/2010 6:51AM

    Stay at it!! I'm getting down to the last few stubborn pounds too. We will win!!!

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IUHRYTR 11/19/2010 6:45AM

    Our bodies are like practical jokers. They often reward us when we slack off and punish us when we work diligently. But our bodies can be also be tricked. So, yeah, keep on keeping on and you may surprise yours soon. -- Lou

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NUTRON3 11/19/2010 6:39AM

    I love your blog!

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