Friday, November 12, 2010
I finally had a good day. A wonderful team leader gave me the basics list...it was so easy. when I say the basic list I mean that I do ww...she gave it to me short and sweet.....water, exercise, points (my own), and most important write it down. So off I go with my little list. I checked off as I completed a task....water yup 9, exercise yup 30 min. elliptical and a walk with my lunch, points, yup went to bed with one left over, write it down,
It seemed so easy to just focus on the basics and not worry about the other stuff. Now I know some of you are thinking "she knew that" yup I did, but did I follow it? nope. I was trying to do so much at one time I was letting my emotions take over. I was beating myself up and then was so exausted that I wasn't seeing the big picture. I was so worried about the number on the scale that I wasn't seeing me where i'm at today.
I had my weekly weigh in this morning and you guessed it i'm up. 0.2 to be exact. Yup not a lot to some, but to me a big gain. Why you may ask? Well with the other two from the two weeks before it puts me up to a pound total. That is a lot in my book, Way too much for comfort. Because if it was that easy for me to slip and gain for three weeks in a row look how easy it will be for me to keep going and reach my old weight. This is why i'm so thankful to my friend for stepping in and giving me the talking to. My buddy and new best friend did that also. So with the two of them i'm ready to face another day.
Now I will not tell ya i've got it, because really I don't. I just go through the days, try to come up with new ideas for which i'm blank at this moment, and I just take this day by day. that is all I can give you and me right now, a day to day play.
So i'm off to begin my new fresh start to a new fresh week.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The clock is ticking, i'm still on the old time or something. I can't seem to get my mind to follow my body these last couple of days. Thank goodness each day is a fresh start, and I have no problem with do overs. I have been doing do overs for about two years now, sometimes I wonder how I got to where i'm at on my journey with all the do overs I've had. These last couple of days have been eating frenzies. why? could be the weather, could be the time change, could be the time of year, could be pms, I could give so many excuses why i'm doing it but what good would that do. I'm still doing it. I haven't come up with a plan to fix it, I havn't sat down and given it much thought, in fact as i'm heading to the pantry the only thought I have is what is next.....meaning what can i have now? A crying shame to say the least. I really didn't want to post another gain for this week. That would be three in a row. Is that reason to give up, throw in the towel, hang my head? It could be if I wasn't me. I want to see this through. I want to know what is wrong. I think my body wants to be warm for winter, but my mind says no you can't, I have these two playing tug of war and the body is winning. Or is it it the mind? I'm so confused right now I really don't know which is which.
I know it is easy for someone who has succeeded to say how I need to do things, I know it is easy for a friend who is there to kick my butt, I know it would be really simple for me to pick up where I left off.....but I can't seem to. I say each morning how I want to, I look over my day the day before ( yes friends I bite I write) and I tell myself today is going to be different. It isn't.
So i'm not going to end this with today is a new day, which it is, i"m not going to tell you i'm going to give it my all, which I may, i'm not going to make promises I can't keep. I will tell you that this journey is not easy, this journey has many roadblocks and it is up to each of us to know them down one by one. this is my road block. It may take me some time to knock it down, go over, or even around it, but i'm going to succeed.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I began this "new" journey three days ago. I had two awesome days in a row none the less which for me is truly wonderful. Well day three brings with it new "moments" or rather the old that i'm still telling myself i'm working on but have yet to manage. Here I am watching my favorite show, The biggest loser, and I decide I want to have the snickers bar that my wonderful hubby thought he was doing me a wonderful thing by getting me. He had eaten the original one I had in the fridge and then goes and buys me a replacement. Now I could of said "oh no you eat that, I don't really need it" , but did I? nope...I ate it. The moral of this story is.....i'm still feeling like a failure in this. I know i'm not, I know I need think of the positives...I did get in my exercise, I did get my water (though I was two short from my daily goal), I did eat right the rest of the day. I know one "treat" won't ruin my whole week, but that doesn't stop my mind from telling me how I should of made better choices, how I berate myself all the time for the mistakes I make. I beat me up all the time. I look over my days and then I have to wonder how others are so strong and i'm so weak.....Well I need to work on this. I need to step away from myself for a minute and look at where i've been, where i'm at, and where I intend to go. I will have options most of my life. I will have choices. It is how I handle those choices that matters. So i'm off to begin day 4. I won't make promises I can't keep, I won't tell you I've learned a lesson here, or that it won't happen again. I would be lying to both of us. I will tell ya that since i've begun this journey i've learned many things about myself, my likes and dislikes, I've made wonderful new friends, lost a few, and gained the best one....she know who she is. So my journey will continue, because that is why i'm here, to see this through and beyond.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Day one I decided to turn this journey on. I had been getting sedentary in my ways, eating to eat, not enjoying what the world had to offer. I want to reach my goals but at the same time I was unwilling to do what I needed to get there. So I succeeded on day one and decided to begin fresh. Today i'm at day two. My lunch was packed last night, my day is planned out, my daily goal today is 8 glasses of pure water. that means the diet soda is not involved. I really only have one or two daily but it is enough to mess up my straight water. So that is my daily goal.
I've decided that as ive said before....If it is to be its up to me. I can't wait for the weight to come off, I have to do something about it. So i'm doing something about it. I'm learning to love myself and the new me i'm becoming. I have learned I love exercise. I've said it before and i;ll say it again, exercise is not my problem. Snacks are. but i'm learning if I can plan for them, sit down and enjoy them, then they can be even better. that is the plan anyhow. I need to remember that I have to eat to live not live to eat.
I made the choice to walk on monday evenings with friend from work. we've been doing this a while now, Now the two of us have become three...we added a new friend to the walk. She is actually the one that led me to spark and then she went her own way. She isn't back to spark at this time but baby steps. She is walking with us. we have decided that even with the time change we are going to do this. we just have to make a few adjustments....flashlights, stick......just in case, and gloves. we are ready and we walk about two and a half miles now.
So now i'm off to begin my day 2. Well really I already have made good choices this morning. I'm sparking and i'm just about to do my exercise of the day.
Keep on sparking. Michelle
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Our greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius [quoted by, and often attributed to, Oliver Goldsmith, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Nelson Mandela]
Ok I went to the grocery store and I spot a bag of cheetos. Now I know me, I know my control over such things....does that stop me? nope. I buy them, I have a plan. One serving, that is what i'm going to have, just one. Ok, I meant a serving not a bag. But again I ate the bag, yes the whole darn thing. So this morning I wake up and I have decided it is time to make changes. In me that is. I now know I can eat just one piece of pizza and be full, I now know I can't buy any big bags of chips. The tiny ones at the checkout will have to suffice if I should want any. See this is a journey, i'm learning about me. Did I beat myself up over this? nope, I just picked up where I left off and started fresh. I finished the evening out just as I had planned.
I gave me the pep talk, this one day would not undo all my hard work. So now it is up to me to make this week, this month, or this year a success. For me it is in the planning. IT is also that I don't dwell on the negatives but the positives of my day. even though I had that bad "moment" I had successes also. I got in my exercise, I rested with a nap, I got in some great shopping, got my water, enjoyed family time at pizza hut and stuck to my game plan for the meal. So I have to take what i've learned from this a move forward.
I know there are some who never seem to fall down. Well friends i'm not one of them. I fall all the darn time. what sets me apart from them? I get back up, dust off the dirt, and start over. The trouble with never falling down is you don't know how to pick yourself up.
So enjoy this extra hour today with a book, an extra few minutes of exercise, or make a healthy meal and have leftovers for the busy week we all know is coming. That is my plan anyhow.
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