MALEXANDER4   171,137
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
MALEXANDER4's Recent Blog Entries

Day 4: Thank goodness for fresh starts

Thursday, November 11, 2010

emoticon The clock is ticking, i'm still on the old time or something. I can't seem to get my mind to follow my body these last couple of days. Thank goodness each day is a fresh start, and I have no problem with do overs. I have been doing do overs for about two years now, sometimes I wonder how I got to where i'm at on my journey with all the do overs I've had. These last couple of days have been eating frenzies. why? could be the weather, could be the time change, could be the time of year, could be pms, I could give so many excuses why i'm doing it but what good would that do. I'm still doing it. I haven't come up with a plan to fix it, I havn't sat down and given it much thought, in fact as i'm heading to the pantry the only thought I have is what is next.....meaning what can i have now? A crying shame to say the least. I really didn't want to post another gain for this week. That would be three in a row. Is that reason to give up, throw in the towel, hang my head? It could be if I wasn't me. I want to see this through. I want to know what is wrong. I think my body wants to be warm for winter, but my mind says no you can't, I have these two playing tug of war and the body is winning. Or is it it the mind? I'm so confused right now I really don't know which is which.

I know it is easy for someone who has succeeded to say how I need to do things, I know it is easy for a friend who is there to kick my butt, I know it would be really simple for me to pick up where I left off.....but I can't seem to. I say each morning how I want to, I look over my day the day before ( yes friends I bite I write) and I tell myself today is going to be different. It isn't.

So i'm not going to end this with today is a new day, which it is, i"m not going to tell you i'm going to give it my all, which I may, i'm not going to make promises I can't keep. I will tell you that this journey is not easy, this journey has many roadblocks and it is up to each of us to know them down one by one. this is my road block. It may take me some time to knock it down, go over, or even around it, but i'm going to succeed.

Michelle. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/12/2010 9:47AM

    You're getting there, and you will conquer this. We are working on those patterns and mindsets, and yes, it's a struggle, but one that is worth it.
I'm with youl..the time change has me totally screwed up!!
One day at a many do-overs as we need, and we will get where we want to be. Hang in there my friend!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHYME47 11/11/2010 5:30PM

    I think life in general is a bunch of do-overs! Do-overs upon do-overs, in fact. It's like that old saying, it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down, what matters is how many times you get back up! Yay for fresh starts!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMPAM23 11/11/2010 2:04PM

    I think it's the time change!! I am COMPLETELY out of whack this week - and like you , can't seem to stop myself. I am relying on the exercise to keep me in my "weight window" this week. Whatever is causing all of this instability....WILL pass. Do the right thing when you can....and do what you have to when you can't. Tomorrow is a new day and I know you are going to cross your finish line when the time is right!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RACEMOM576900 11/11/2010 11:54AM

    Hi Michelle,
Your honesty with how you feel is wonderful and inspiring. I believe we are all here because we are in the same situation, if not now at one point or another. The successes of others help to inpire us to keep heading toward those goals. We all know what we need to do to get there. However, change does not occur over night. So don't beat yourself up, just keep making those little changes. By the way, I had pizza last night...late last night. I have not had pizza in about 6 months and let me tell you, I enjoyed every greasy bite. Not soon after though, I did not fee so well. It just remined me why I was on this journey. So keep on making those changes and you will get there!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 11/11/2010 10:54AM

    Oh, you must be talking about me...
(My son and I made a trip to the store late last night for chocolate... now that's bad!!! He egged me on of course but I was driving :) Ate the entire 100 g, too. But it was good!)
New day today, let's do the best that we can.

The end of daylight savings time does not make me happy this year either. I used to appreciate the extra hour in the morning so it was not pitch dark when I get up, but this year I really miss the extra hour of light in the evening. 5:00 pm and it feels like it should be 10:00 pm.

So we soldier on. Giving up is not an option!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MICKIDEE44 11/11/2010 10:10AM

    You will get there Michelle. I have been going through the same thing myself. The one thing I am learning is that we just have to get up and keep moving forward. And yes, it is a struggle each and every day. But look back and see the strides you have made, and that will be an indication of what you've done good to date.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLLYNN49 11/11/2010 9:53AM

    Okay Michelle, the first thing you have to do is stop beating yourself up. That negative internal dialogue is going to make your life a misery. I'm not Mrs. Positive that's for sure but recently I've been trying to treat myself in a kinder manner. That means when I start to think those limiting beliefs about myself I give myself a mental STOP and try to replace it with something I do well.

I'm no where near my goal and you are so you could probably give me more advice than I can give you about doing it, because my dear you have been doing it. Yes life has a habit of getting in the way and changing our focus but you've gotten back on before so this time you know you can do it!!!!

Some advice, sit down and give yourself the time to explore what is going on with you. As you near your goal are you afraid of getting there? Why? Have you internalised the fact that you are worthy, do you love yourself enough to give yourself permission to get to your goal? Is there someone in your life you thought would treat you different once you get there and you've found that nothing has changed but your size? Is your goal realistic or is your body fighting you because you are where you are suppose to be? There is something going on that makes you want to turn to your drug of choice, FOOD. Find out what for your sake and now is better than later. I have been recommending a book by Louise L Hay called You Can Heal Your Life, it will give you the tools to do some digging and help you find out why this is happening.

Above all, give yourself a break, be kind to yourself and that doesn't mean binging on anything that isn't nailed down. It means finding a way to accept yourself for who you are right now. Look into that mirror and say "Michelle, I love you just the way you are." Look deep, mean it, believe it and say it at least 5 times in a row once a day in the morning. We are more than the sum total of our weight!!!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
HUMMINGBIRDFLY 11/11/2010 9:17AM

    You will succeed Michelle!! You've got the right attitude and the skills to do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELEXEY 11/11/2010 9:06AM

    I'm not going to tell you 50 things to do, you already know what you need to do. I know that you'll get there because you know what you want. But I do want to offer emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Day 3- Two out of three ain't bad

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I began this "new" journey three days ago. I had two awesome days in a row none the less which for me is truly wonderful. Well day three brings with it new "moments" or rather the old that i'm still telling myself i'm working on but have yet to manage. Here I am watching my favorite show, The biggest loser, and I decide I want to have the snickers bar that my wonderful hubby thought he was doing me a wonderful thing by getting me. He had eaten the original one I had in the fridge and then goes and buys me a replacement. Now I could of said "oh no you eat that, I don't really need it" , but did I? nope...I ate it. The moral of this story is.....i'm still feeling like a failure in this. I know i'm not, I know I need think of the positives...I did get in my exercise, I did get my water (though I was two short from my daily goal), I did eat right the rest of the day. I know one "treat" won't ruin my whole week, but that doesn't stop my mind from telling me how I should of made better choices, how I berate myself all the time for the mistakes I make. I beat me up all the time. I look over my days and then I have to wonder how others are so strong and i'm so weak.....Well I need to work on this. I need to step away from myself for a minute and look at where i've been, where i'm at, and where I intend to go. I will have options most of my life. I will have choices. It is how I handle those choices that matters. So i'm off to begin day 4. I won't make promises I can't keep, I won't tell you I've learned a lesson here, or that it won't happen again. I would be lying to both of us. I will tell ya that since i've begun this journey i've learned many things about myself, my likes and dislikes, I've made wonderful new friends, lost a few, and gained the best one....she know who she is. So my journey will continue, because that is why i'm here, to see this through and beyond.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/10/2010 8:53PM

    Alright, Ma' just stop right there. Stop beating yourself up!! Perfection doesn't exist...there is no right or wrong way to live a lifestyle - you live it the way YOU want on YOUR terms. Yep, you heard me..YOUR terms. Not mine or anybody else's. Each of us figures out what perfection means to us and we go for it. Life without a candy bar? Why??? You didn't have three or four. You ate right the rest of the day, you exercised. No, we don't want to eat them every day, but look at where you are and how far you've come. This battle is mostly mental anyway, if not for our brains our bodies would already be where we want them to be. You are doing a FANTASTIC job on what you have chosen for your lifestyle. You remember that. You rememember how strong you are, how much more confident you are becoming, and remember that you can accomplish your goals, that you ARE accomplishing your goals. Hang in there. Some days the snacking gets the best of us. Some days the cravings call and we answer. It doesn't mean we've failed or that we are less of a person. So you hold your head high and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing, and that you are doing this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSIELOVE78 11/10/2010 10:15AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
RHONDA_11 11/10/2010 8:19AM

    Don't beat yourself up. It's not about being perfect, just make your next decision a better one. Take it day by day or even meal by meal (or snack). If you haven't already you may want to tell your husband if he wants to buy you a treat or replace one to get you some Kashi bars. They are a really good sweet treat especially the dark chocolate cherry ones. Best of luck. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Day 2: The journey continues

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

emoticonDay one I decided to turn this journey on. I had been getting sedentary in my ways, eating to eat, not enjoying what the world had to offer. I want to reach my goals but at the same time I was unwilling to do what I needed to get there. So I succeeded on day one and decided to begin fresh. Today i'm at day two. My lunch was packed last night, my day is planned out, my daily goal today is 8 glasses of pure water. that means the diet soda is not involved. I really only have one or two daily but it is enough to mess up my straight water. So that is my daily goal.

I've decided that as ive said before....If it is to be its up to me. I can't wait for the weight to come off, I have to do something about it. So i'm doing something about it. I'm learning to love myself and the new me i'm becoming. I have learned I love exercise. I've said it before and i;ll say it again, exercise is not my problem. Snacks are. but i'm learning if I can plan for them, sit down and enjoy them, then they can be even better. that is the plan anyhow. I need to remember that I have to eat to live not live to eat.

I made the choice to walk on monday evenings with friend from work. we've been doing this a while now, Now the two of us have become three...we added a new friend to the walk. She is actually the one that led me to spark and then she went her own way. She isn't back to spark at this time but baby steps. She is walking with us. we have decided that even with the time change we are going to do this. we just have to make a few adjustments....flashlights, stick......just in case, and gloves. we are ready and we walk about two and a half miles now.

So now i'm off to begin my day 2. Well really I already have made good choices this morning. I'm sparking and i'm just about to do my exercise of the day.

Keep on sparking. Michelle

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSAWRAP_DIMI 11/13/2010 9:54AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMPAM23 11/10/2010 11:12AM

    Hi Michelle - Sometimes we just need to start anew!! Glad you are not giving and up choosing to keep moving toward those goals. You have done such an awesome job - and I know what you mean about snacking. I did really well with that until I reached the maintaining portion of this journey!! And it's been hard for me every since. Not going to lie - I was back in the Baked Cheeto's last night. But we can overcome this little problem of ours...and get to where we want to be!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/9/2010 5:24PM

    Michelle, I know you can do this!! You have come so far, just keep on going! I hope you continue to enjoy the walks.
Hope you had a fantastic day two, and I'm rooting for you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RACEMOM576900 11/9/2010 8:39AM

    emoticon attitude. You seem very focused. This is great!! Keep it up!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSIELOVE78 11/9/2010 8:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm getting back up: again

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Our greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius [quoted by, and often attributed to, Oliver Goldsmith, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Nelson Mandela]

emoticon emoticon Ok I went to the grocery store and I spot a bag of cheetos. Now I know me, I know my control over such things....does that stop me? nope. I buy them, I have a plan. One serving, that is what i'm going to have, just one. Ok, I meant a serving not a bag. But again I ate the bag, yes the whole darn thing. So this morning I wake up and I have decided it is time to make changes. In me that is. I now know I can eat just one piece of pizza and be full, I now know I can't buy any big bags of chips. The tiny ones at the checkout will have to suffice if I should want any. See this is a journey, i'm learning about me. Did I beat myself up over this? nope, I just picked up where I left off and started fresh. I finished the evening out just as I had planned.

I gave me the pep talk, this one day would not undo all my hard work. So now it is up to me to make this week, this month, or this year a success. For me it is in the planning. IT is also that I don't dwell on the negatives but the positives of my day. even though I had that bad "moment" I had successes also. I got in my exercise, I rested with a nap, I got in some great shopping, got my water, enjoyed family time at pizza hut and stuck to my game plan for the meal. So I have to take what i've learned from this a move forward.

I know there are some who never seem to fall down. Well friends i'm not one of them. I fall all the darn time. what sets me apart from them? I get back up, dust off the dirt, and start over. The trouble with never falling down is you don't know how to pick yourself up.

So enjoy this extra hour today with a book, an extra few minutes of exercise, or make a healthy meal and have leftovers for the busy week we all know is coming. That is my plan anyhow.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMPAM23 11/8/2010 12:10PM

    I am unfamiliar with those who hardly every fall!!! I am that chick on the other side of you picking myself up AGAIN!!! I bought cheetos too. They were baked and I hardly ate any of them on Saturday and I wasn't counting calories!!! But I SHOULD have left the rest of the bag up at my mother's....but I didn't!!! They are back at my house - peeking at me every time I open the pantry door. Not my best move, huh? Well - At least I feel a little better knowing that I am in good company this time!!
We WILL overcome!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 11/7/2010 6:14PM

    Well you know I am not one of "them" who NEVER fall down!!! Thanks for the blog and I appreciate you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 11/7/2010 2:30PM

    Great blog, all good in moderation and getting to know yourself better. Enjoy that extra hour. I spent mine trying to fix this darm computer and I should have been sleeping. take care.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 11/7/2010 12:14PM

    You're right, a bag of Cheetos won't ruin your life. Hope they were good :)
Are there really people who never fall down? Maybe they're just not honest enough to admit it...
Hope you have a super Sunday!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IRISHEI 11/7/2010 8:55AM

    Well, I sure do understand. I love good healthy food, but I also love the snacks.
Had brown rice stir fry last night and it worked well. Then my friend had brought over dessert when we got back from the eating out. Well, I had a half of a cupcake. Can you believe it? It really did not even taste good. Just a bad habit. So, I too can relate to you. It is not easy, but we do pick ourselves back up and DECIDE we will do it and plan to move forward again. Today is the first day of the rest of our live. emoticon
emoticon ENJOY your day and extra hour too! Life is good. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Atta girl! Keep moving forward, learning lessons. Figure out how to keep track of them so you don't have to re-learn them. You're going to make it!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DARLENEK04 11/7/2010 8:03AM

  Gee Michelle, I dont know anyone who doesn't stump their toe
now and then....
Usually I will do well until (someone who shall remain ahhh
anonymous)(and nameless) but his initials are David....comes
home with some ice cream like last week: Pumpkin caramel crunch
I believe it was. So I had one serving and quit.

I don't think he realizes he is sabotaging me, and then I do
myself...I just have to say no...and after today, I am going
to be on his case about his weight reverse
psychology will work.

Off to church...should be interesting....I have been up all
night long.


Report Inappropriate Comment
RACEMOM576900 11/7/2010 7:40AM

    Way to go Michelle! My downfall is donuts- so I don't buy them. And you are so right. If you don't fall once in a while you don't know how to get back up again. You don't learn how to deal with those shortcomings. The important thing is realizing what went wrong and having a plan for the next time! I look at it this way, I have another hour to work out today! Have a great Sunday!

Report Inappropriate Comment

quotes to share

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Our greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius [quoted by, and often attributed to, Oliver Goldsmith, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Nelson Mandela]

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
- Vince Lombardi

Stay in the game - keep playing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    love your quotes i have borrowed some for my page, i love the ones about falling down and getting up again thanks, have a great day emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 11/6/2010 8:33PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 11/6/2010 8:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 11/6/2010 2:58PM

    Great quotes, thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 11/6/2010 10:51AM

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Stay in the game & keep playing. I'm on my way to play at the gym for an hour. Class is at 8:30. Ugh, I don't really like mornings!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHINAGAL 11/6/2010 10:12AM

    Reading this was a great way to start my day! Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RACEMOM576900 11/6/2010 9:23AM

    What wonderful inspiring quotes to read this beautifully overcast morning! Thank so much for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JATHUENER 11/6/2010 9:14AM

    thanks for reminding us not to give up but stay in and you will keep edging forward---julie

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUCKYLADY777 11/6/2010 9:10AM

    Thank you for sharing, good wise words to wake up to in the morning........ emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SOOZYBUG 11/6/2010 9:05AM

    I love Stay in the game-Keep playing!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKFIT4LIFE 11/6/2010 9:02AM

    emoticon for sharing those.

Have a great weekend. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 Last Page