Wednesday, October 20, 2010
To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
We have so many choices in this life, where to live, work, play, what to eat, do, say, it isn't a wonder we find it so easy to follow the leader. But who really is the leader? It should be you. You are number one in your life. You have the right to choose. As with any part of your life you are here because you made a choice to get healthy. Why is it that others find it so darn enjoyable to help you make the wrong choices.
My choices are easy....I choose to lose. I choose to make the right choices, not always on a daily basis but on most days and times. I ordered donuts from the school. The deal was I would order the donuts to help the school, but the girl I ordered from would have to keep them at her house....her response? only if I ate one donut. Why? I mean is it really going to make that much difference if I eat one donut. Who is that benefiting? her? certainly not me. Now we hear all the time about being with active people if we want to be active, being with people who eat right if we want to eat right. You know something? they may be on to something there. So I've made a choice to not eat that donut. Because as my new adopted motto says " if it's to be, its up to me" and I choose to not eat that sugar mess.
Why do others find it so satisfying to see us fail? I will not fail. I 've already won, i'm still on this kick as some like to call it after two years. the others I started with, they came, they went. So for today I choose to plan, I choose to eat right, I choose to exercise. NO excuses, no veering off the road, no stepping to the curb. I have made a choice to get healthy. I intend to get healthy.
So im off to get going. As for that donut? I choose to not eat it and I don't have to explain my reasons, I just don't want it.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
today is work on me day. I need to get my mind in line with my body. I see the results, I know my failings, I know guilt, I want to know success. I want to feel the power of success. Oh my doctor was so proud of me yesterday. He said I made his day. Now that gives me the push I need to finish this part of my journey. i told him how it has taken me two years to lose 20 pounds, he just shook his head at me and said that was great. see he seems to agree that slow and steady wins this darn race. So i'm ok with the progress but i'm ready to finish this. A quote I see more and more on spark is "if it is to be it is up to me" that couldn't be truer for me right now. I have these moments where I lose self control. I eat till I can't move, mostly junk, for no other reason then for boredom or want. I'm really not hungry, i'm really not even bored, because truth be told I have so much other things i should be doing then eating till i'm sick. So what gives? that is the question that will win me the money.
So i'm giving me a thumbs up for today, I'm ready to roll with the punches, creat the new me, throw the guilt away, enjoy the moment, and just be me. No more worry over those darn scales. Yup, some of you have made it, some are still making it, some are where i'm at, so we are all on different paths right now. I will not compare myself with one or the other. I am not you, your not me. We can help each other to reach our goals with ideas, suggestions and a push. But you can't hold my mouth shut and I can't force you to enjoy exercise as much as I do. So today is about me. It is about how I plan to reach my goals. It is about my strengths, weaknesses and my moments of glory. I will focus on me for one day. I hope that one day is a success but again, if it is to be it is up to me. No excuses, no crying over spilt milk. Today is work on me day.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Today I decided it was time to vamp my exercise routine a bit. My weight loss has been slow and I'm almost to goal. So it was time to change up a few things. My diet is basically great. I cover all the guidelines and I have room on most days for extras. I even have had what I like to call "moments" and the damage isn't as bad as it could be. I"m getting there like i've said before, slow and steady. So today I took on a new exercise training program. I've heard so much about it, i've been running for a while but really I haven't gotten too far, I still prefer to walk it. So today I laced up my tennis shoes and headed out. It shouldn't of been too bad heck it was only walk five minutes, run one minute, walk one and a half minutes, and run one, walk one and one-half for 20 minutes. Ok, off I go, omg, by the end of twenty minutes my one minute runs where like crawls, but I did it. I finished it. I was so proud of me I felt like rocky for a minute.
So as I head off to my doctors appointment, my six month cancer recheck, i'm going after a great exercise session and I can't wait to tell my doctor. He was so on to me for being over weight to begin with and now today i'm officially 20 lbs lighter and now i'm heading off in a new direction. I hope in the spring to run my first 5k. This has been a dream for a while and I hope to see it through.
No matter what today brings remember you have all the tommorrows to get it right.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
What? Is that me in that mirror. It can't be i'm a size 14 and so unhappy with myself. When did the change occur? I must of fell asleep and woke like rip van winkle. I mean I still feel like the same ole fat women with no neck and two chins. But as I get myself up each morning and put on a pair of size six pants to head off to work I have to stll shake my head in wonder.
I"ve been struggling with this. I've been at a point in my journey where i'm wondering why do I bother. I exercise religously, I eat all that I can in the fruit and veggie department and I drink water until i'm litterally sloshing when I walk. but the scales don't move a lot of the time now, I have moments where I so want to just lay down my gaurd and eat till I can't move. I want to have that donut and cake, and chips....you get the picture. but then I can't. I just don't have the want anylonger, I do on occasion spin out of control, who doesn't. Those that say they don't just are kidding themselves. And to the few that don't well good for you but in my real world the temptations are great sometimes. Saying i'm not going to eat that is like hanging a red flag in front of a bull....suddenly what didnt' seem to important is now all consuming.
Oh I eat the occasional treat. I do not temp fate. I keep mostly good in the house because I know myself. I'm also learning that the longer i'm on this lifestyle change I don't like sitting around the house anylonger on my days off. I want to get out and do. Who is this new person? I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Yup, seeing is not always believing. I see but i'm still working through this part of the change. No one said it would be easy, and I guess I never thought about me at this point. I always started but never got this far before. New territory? you bet. but each new day i'm learning about me. I may not see movement on the scales like a lot of folks, but I see the change each time I walk by a mirror. I've even taken to checking it as I prepare for my day......I even tuck in my shirts now and guess what? I like what I'm seeing.
So take a moment to stop and look. You may be amazed at what is happening right before your eyes.
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