Saturday, October 09, 2010
Im still here. Still pluggling along. I have had a very busy work week and that has kept me from blogging like I should. I had my weigh in this morning. i"m 0.2. A blip on the screen but a loss just the same. So I will take it with a smile and move on to next weeks.
I'm struggling some days, and gliding through others. I guess this is all a part of the journey but I can honestly say at this point in the game I thought I would of had it beat. Wrong!!! I'm still learning about this lifestyle as I go. I'm still learning about me and what I need and don't need as the case may be. Oh I want to reach for the quick, the easy, the goohey, the sweet, the salty, and on some occasions I do. Oh the guilt follows me on those moments. I think others before me have done this why can't I? meaning they have lost the weight with such ease and i'm struggling daily. I"m not hungry when I grab for the junk, i'm really not sure at the moment what I am. I ;ve tried to study it all out, but sometimes as the stuff is going in it is hard to decide which it is, the taste, the texture, or am I really just tired or thirsty? I'm not going to pretend each day isn't a struggle with some kind of outside interferance. I mean I work where most all but one other are eating to eat, we talk about food all day long. New recipies and such. My husband isn't following any kind of rules with his "new lifestyle" as he likes to call it as he is having that bowl of icecream each night, I have it in my mind that I need to have the munching food at all times. meaning it must be in the cupboard just in case.
I work on myself daily. I haven't given up on me. I'm close to reaching my goal but have I learned anything yet? i'm still learning each day, I'm trying new foods, new recipes, new exercise. I'm telling myself i'm doing what has to be done, I look darn good in my size six jeans, if I say so myself. But who am I kidding? MYSELF that is who. I haven't won this battle. I'm holding off the other side but they are closing in on me. I want to reach goal yeah, but I want to stay there when I get there. I don't want to just taste the freedom, I want to live it.
We are all here struggling with the same things. It is nice to know that i'm not alone. I read all that I can get my hands on about change, ideas, and such. I read blogs from others with the same struggles. I know we can do this together. I thank you all for your support and my dear friend who hears this way more then anybody should. She listens and then gives me advice and a kick when I need it....thank you kristi. You have become a big part of my picture. We are standing in the mirror and we see the beauty that we are.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Play with abandon.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Our lives are defined not by the challenges we encounter,
but by how we respond to those challenges.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
today was my weigh in.....drum roll please....lost 1.6 this week. Finally some movement on those darn scales. 20.2 pounds lost so far. the end of this chapter is drawing to a close, now on to the next.....
Friday, October 01, 2010
My daughter came to me in tears two days ago. She had a doctors appointment and he wouldn't give her birthcontrol because of her weight. My daughter is considered "morbid obese" by the stats. She said it is one thing to know you are fat but it is another to have it stamped on a chart. Now it is real. Now I love my daughter, so it is my turn to pay it forward. It ripped my heart out to have her crying and broken hearted, but it would hurt a hell of a lot more to have her dead young, from obesity. Now i'm a pharmacy tech certified, I see this daily, I see what damage it does. I take continuing education all the time on obesity, I have lost 20 pounds myself on spark and much before that. I know the damage, the mental anguish. we hide behind food. I see the stats, i see the results of overeating and just plain in some, sorry laziness, but I see the determination in others, I see the moment of glory for a lot here on spark and on ww. I know the feeling of joy at a pound lost, and the pound gained when you are so disapointed and the first thought on your mind is I failed.
So as a family and as a mom to a beautiful, overweight, daughter, i'm paying it forward. we are getting together for sunday dinners, working out, and just talking, I am her line between eating that twinkie and giving me a call instead. I"m her rock at the moment, but you know what? she is helping me. I told her now maybe she will help me reach my goals. because if she is willing to change her lifestyle, she didn't want the pills because she said to me it will come back and what have I learned. So i'm proud of her. She has a three year old beautiful son, she must do this for him if not for herself right now. So as a team we are doing this together. I'm encourageing her to join spark, and who knows maybe sunday I will get her started.
So my moral here is this: maybe just maybe we are here to learning something that one day may inturn help someone else. I know my moment is here. I have the info, stats, and now I have the determination to share this with one other, whom inturn may share with one other and so on. We cannot force anyone to be healthy, but when they come to us crying, broken hearted, and feeling hopeless, that is where we step up to bat and hit the one out of the park.
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