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Paying it forward

Friday, October 01, 2010

My daughter came to me in tears two days ago. She had a doctors appointment and he wouldn't give her birthcontrol because of her weight. My daughter is considered "morbid obese" by the stats. She said it is one thing to know you are fat but it is another to have it stamped on a chart. Now it is real. Now I love my daughter, so it is my turn to pay it forward. It ripped my heart out to have her crying and broken hearted, but it would hurt a hell of a lot more to have her dead young, from obesity. Now i'm a pharmacy tech certified, I see this daily, I see what damage it does. I take continuing education all the time on obesity, I have lost 20 pounds myself on spark and much before that. I know the damage, the mental anguish. we hide behind food. I see the stats, i see the results of overeating and just plain in some, sorry laziness, but I see the determination in others, I see the moment of glory for a lot here on spark and on ww. I know the feeling of joy at a pound lost, and the pound gained when you are so disapointed and the first thought on your mind is I failed.

So as a family and as a mom to a beautiful, overweight, daughter, i'm paying it forward. we are getting together for sunday dinners, working out, and just talking, I am her line between eating that twinkie and giving me a call instead. I"m her rock at the moment, but you know what? she is helping me. I told her now maybe she will help me reach my goals. because if she is willing to change her lifestyle, she didn't want the pills because she said to me it will come back and what have I learned. So i'm proud of her. She has a three year old beautiful son, she must do this for him if not for herself right now. So as a team we are doing this together. I'm encourageing her to join spark, and who knows maybe sunday I will get her started.

So my moral here is this: maybe just maybe we are here to learning something that one day may inturn help someone else. I know my moment is here. I have the info, stats, and now I have the determination to share this with one other, whom inturn may share with one other and so on. We cannot force anyone to be healthy, but when they come to us crying, broken hearted, and feeling hopeless, that is where we step up to bat and hit the one out of the park.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSAWRAP_DIMI 10/2/2010 1:22PM

This blog cuts me to the core as my 25 y/o is morbidly obese. She struggles with weight loss. She is a beautiful person and I like you want to see her live. Thanks for sharing.

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RACEMOM576900 10/2/2010 12:57PM

    I understand how you felt when your daughter came to you. Just reading your blog brought tears to my eyes! It is a wonderful thing to have a support person in your life, but when it is your daughter/mother I believe it means so much more. The support you will build between each other and the strength it will bring to your relationship is unmeasureable! We will all be here to cheer you on, encourage you, and support you in any way possible! You both can do this hand in hand!

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KNITTABLES 10/1/2010 8:30PM

    Tell your daughter we are here for both of you and wish you well on your new healthy journey together. I am glad she went to her mom for help. What a great thing to do together. I hope she joins sparks.

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 10/1/2010 9:46AM

    You will continue to be a wonderful inspiration for your daughter, and together you will both reach your goals. You are so right..if we can take what we learn and help one other person, either someone we love or a complete stranger, then it makes this journey that much richer for having been able to share it with someone and know we helped them. Your daughter will succeed and soon she will feel beautiful on the inside and out...she has a great mom to show her the way!!!

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KENDRACARROLL 10/1/2010 9:17AM

    I'm glad your daughter asked for help. Change can only happen when we are ready and prepared to do what it takes. This is your new project, mom.

Tell your daughter, we're cheering for her.
Please keep us posted on her progress.
Go team!

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JUDYFRANCE 10/1/2010 9:06AM

    It's great that you are there for your daughter. It is sometimes a hard pill to swallow when we finally realise that we need to make a healthy change. I wish I could make my obese loved ones see that they need to change. But, it has to come from within. You're a wonderful example to your daughter.

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    emoticonWhat an inspiration you are to your daughter!

Let her know that we'd love for us to join us on this journey!! Weight Watchers is an awesome program if she wants to join us on that path. We can do it together!!

Thanks for being such a great Mom!!

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slow and steady

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

emoticonWell I had a great blog going and this darn computer froze up. So here goes the shortened version.....

I have decided to thanks to a dear ww team leader to re-evaluate my goal weight. I have dropped it four pounds, in the scheme of things this isn't a whole lot but in my world it will mean the difference of struggling on or reaching this goal and moving on to the next is I so choose. So it may not be this december as I wanted but i'm still here and i'm still going strong. Slow and steady does win races. I haven't gained back any that i've lost and that is a big plus. two years worth of pluses. So I will stand strong and finish this out.

I know where my trouble lies and the boredom snacking is my downfall on the weekends. This is where I have to work it out and if I don't then I will never reach goal. It isn't about struggling because my body doesn't want to give up the weight, it is about my and self sabatage. So my new best friend and I have decided that choices is the way to go. She emails me, kicks me when i'm in need, and is just plain there. For this I thank her. No matter how long this takes we are going to reach our goals my dear friend. Choices just remember that word.

I'm off now to begin this new challenge of reaching goals. remember slow and steady will get this done.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 9/29/2010 3:04AM

    You will do this and you can do this. do you have a hobby or something you can do. When I am bored and want to eat I knit or work on a puzzle. Something to keep my mine off the food. You are doing a great job.

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 9/28/2010 5:32PM

    You are going to do this!! I think it will do you good to set a new goal weight. When you reach that, you can maintain if you feel comfortable with it, or go for more if you think you need to. Maybe it will relieve some of the pressure you put on yourself. And YES think of what all you have done in two years!! Awesome!! Amazing!! Wonderful!!
We will get there and I am proud to call you my friend!!

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KENDRACARROLL 9/28/2010 10:07AM

    You know what you need to do - now go do it! :)
Boredom snacking is my downfall as well.

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    You are going to do this!!! You are going to reach that scale number and we're going to celebrate! YOU have what it takes!!! emoticon emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 9/28/2010 7:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Will my dreams be realized?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

emoticonWill my dreams be realized? Will I see the magic number on the scales? Will I be happy with the choices I make throughout the day? These are all questions i'm asking of myself. Today my team leader of ww reached her goal. She is a success in my book before the "magic" number appeared but today was her special moment. Her moment in the spotlight. I cried for her and for myself. For her for the moment and I could feel her happiness. For me because i've been on this journey for almost two years. I had 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate goal. Oh i've come down from a 60 pound gain over the years, but since joining spark and ww it is 30 pounds. Anyhow, my point is this: I really thought by now I would be at goal, I thought I would have made it. I would know the feeling of reaching my ultimate number and moving on to maintenance. But due to my issues, I have a few, that still i'm working on and due to me really not sticking like I should to plan, i'm still at the 10 pound mark.

10 pounds isn't really a whole lot left considering at 175 and 5'1" I looked like a pumpkin. My hubby didn't even know it was me in a pic with my mom and daughter. I was unreconizable. Here I sit, for the first time in a very long time, like 25 years, at a size 4-6, exercising daily, eating right for the most part, and i'm still not at goal. I could reach out and touch it and i'm still not there. Now this isn't a pitty party by any means. I've finally had a breakthrough and I owe it all to a wonderful lady whom reached her goals and has helped me to begin to reach mine.

I have a friend on this journey also. Really two, but one that I chat with regurally, that small thing has come to mean so much to me. we found we have a lot in common and someday the lord willing we will meet face to face so I can give her a big hug just for letting me be me. I vent, I woohoo, I push her and really she pushes me to succeed. My ww team leader also has come to mean very much to me. She has shown me through her struggles that each moment no matter how small, each success, each step we take is all leading us to our ultimate goal.

So again I ask myself the question: Will my dreams be realized? The answer: yes. It may not be in the next month, six months but each time I get out and exericse i'm taking the steps needed to get there, each time I pass up the chips i'm taking a step, each time I choose water instead of soda i've taken a step. Each of these steps that I take will lead me to the "magic" number on the scales that i'm so ready to see. I just have to keep taking one step at a time and one day at a time.

As my dear friend keeps saying it is about choices. I have choices and each time I choose the right ones i'm headed in the right direction.

emoticon is my new motto for myself. Because I can do it!!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 9/26/2010 10:55PM

    Michelle, you are doing this, each and every day. You are one step closer. You are right, each choice you make leads to a healthier you. You'll get through this, and you will figure it out. Maybe you do need to take another look at that "number" and see if it's still the right number for you. If it is, then keep moving and keep your eyes on where you want to be. Our goals are ever changing as we grow and change. You will have that wonderful blissful moment when you feel like you've reached that ultimate weight loss destination and then you will move into maintenance head held high with determination and the strength to stay there. I'll be there to cheer for you along the way and rejoice with you when you get there. What's next? Whatever it is, you'll be ready!

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JUNEBUG1944 9/26/2010 11:54AM

    Of course you can do this, Michelle! Look how far you've come!

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RACEMOM576900 9/26/2010 11:25AM

You are doing great! A number focus may be whats holding you back.How do you feel? Do you look better than before? Are you eating healthier, exercising, having fun and being happy? These things are so much more important than the number. Chin up, smile and continue to make right choices. Your body will do the rest of the work. One day you will wake up and that number may magically appear just by maintaining those little streaks. emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 9/26/2010 10:20AM

    It seems to me that if my focus is not on weight, not on the magic number, but on eating right, counting calories, exercising, drinking water, I have better success.
I swear there is a huge mental factor to weight loss. While calories in versus calories out is the logical explanation there must be more.

While BUTTERFLYEMERGE has some valid points, I too refuse to settle. Healthy BMI, okay, but really isn't it also about us proving something to ourselves? Maybe this is not the right kind of mindset, but maybe it's the best we know? What works for one won't work for another.

Will your dreams be realized? Yes, as long as you keep chasing them.
And while you're on this road, every week you stay the same is a practice week for maintenance, so you'll know exactly what to do once you get there. Okay, nice try :) I know...

Have a successful day.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    emoticonMy dear friend. I'm going to ask some questions and I'm going to make a suggestion because I think it's time to look at your "magic number".

Is it the correct number for you? ... You keep struggling to get there. If you're struggling that much now, how much will you struggle to maintain it? After all, this is a journey, not a destination. We need to figure out how to be able to sustain what we've achieved.

Let's look at what you're trying to achieve. What if your goal weight was still a healthy BMI number, but a higher weight? For your 5' 1" height, 130 pounds would give you a healthy BMI of 24.6.

I'd like to suggest that you change your goal to 130 pounds. Get there. Spend your 6 weeks in Maintenance. See how easy that weight is for you to maintain. If you feel like you want to go lower, you can. But you are at Goal, the "magic number", you are in a healthy BMI ... who could ask for more?!!

Why suggest this? Losing 5 pounds may just be more attainable than 10 pounds. Mentally, the journey isn't as long. Again, if the fight is this hard now, what's it going to be like to maintain that 10 pound lower weight?

It's worth pondering, sweet friend. You are worth the effort of studying this and working out what is best for you. emoticon

We're on this journey together and we'll figure it out. And we'll celebrate when you make it to the "magic number"!!! What a party that will be!!!! emoticon emoticon

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BRONXBABE 9/26/2010 7:45AM

    Hi, Michelle.

You have come a long way in your journey. Sometimes, the closer we get to goal, the harder it is to lose. I know this because I struggled to lose 30 pounds seven years ago. The last few months were painfully slow.

This time around, I've been stalled in the same place (give or take 5 lbs) for two years! But I am so stubborn, I REFUSE to give up. I know I have it in me to reach my goal. So, like you, I keep taking those baby steps. I keep my head down, and watch my progress one baby step at a time because looking up ahead to search for the finish line just strains my eyes.

One day, we'll each look up, and there it will be. And our friends will be crying for US!

Don't give up, and don't get down on yourself.
The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.


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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 9/26/2010 5:45AM

I remember being so close and still not making goal. I was still very unhappy with the way I looked which changed my focus. See if there is a block from the inside. YOU CAN DO THIS. You will have your spotlight moment!!! Because YOU can do it! emoticon

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My scales are stuck!!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

emoticonI just know they are. I've stayed the same for three weeks now. I'm not ready for maintenance just yet so what gives? emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonThis is a natural part of each of my days. So again I ask my body what gives?

Since it doesn't answer i'm going to .....I need to change up a few things. I need to get a bit of different exercise this week, my ww team has a challenge to drop two points off our daily total, that is like 100 less calories daily for six days. I think I may need to do this. I'm giving it a try. Then next week I'll go back to my norm and see if that hasn't got this body started again.

I'm a bit disappointed in the scales for not moving a inch. Well they are digital so that isn't even an excuse. Oh well what is done is done. So onwards and downwards. I'm ready to nip this in the bud. I want to see a loss next week.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 9/25/2010 10:42PM

    hang in there and I am sure if you switch things up the scale will do down.

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 9/25/2010 6:38PM

    Michelle, hang in there. I know it's disappointing after all your hard work to not be rewarded with a lower number on the blasted scale, but each day you are rewarded with better health, increased determination, and the tools to stay on track and not give in. The number does not matter as much as your perspective. Keep going, you will get there.

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KENDRACARROLL 9/25/2010 11:38AM

    You know you're down to the last 10 when NOTHING moves... :(
If you find something that works, please post.

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SUNRISE14 9/25/2010 8:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SUNRISE14 9/25/2010 8:05AM

    emoticon i am losing slooooooooooooower and slooooooooower but am thankful i am eating in control ! One off meal a week can thru the weight loss for the next week ! emoticon

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    Hitting a plateau is a natural part of weight loss. Go to and read some articles on plateaus. Make sure you're actually on one. See the hints they give you ... they are great. You'll be moving along before you know it. Your body needs this hiatus to adjust. You're going to be just fine ... physically if not mentally. :)

Hugs, my friend.

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TLINDAMT 9/25/2010 7:44AM

    i have the same problem and the advice i got was to measure and see if my measurements had gone down. also as you are losing fat you are building muscle maybe you just built the same amount as you lost. emoticon

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Oh yeah it's finally Friday!!!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon This was such a busy week at work. I just can't say enough how glad I am that it is behind me. Of course I work in a busy pharmacy and next week is the first, but that said i'm just so glad this week is over. We had a girl out on vacation and that just made it worse on all of us. But we survived and I lived to tell about it.

On the health front I feel pretty confident about my week. I had a few rough patches but nothing that was out of the norm for me. I have restocked my cabinets for the coming week and that is over and I can begin fresh again tomorrow. I'm always anxious to weigh in and start a new week, I really don't know why because then partway through the week i'm nervous about my weigh in and how the week went. Go figure. All a part of it I guess.

So it is off to get a few more spark points in, check my emails which I haven't had time to answer all in the last few days and they just build up, and then off to bed. For all my friends whom weigh in tomorrow on my ww team....good luck guys. Cathy this is your magic moment week I can feel it. Let us know for sure.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 9/25/2010 12:07AM

    Good luck on the weigh in...despite what the scale may say, you've done great this week. CHOICES..we've made good ones!
Hope the coming week is calmer at work for you.

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JUNEBUG1944 9/24/2010 11:30PM

    Hey Michelle! Sorry you had such a busy, hectic week! Glad you had a pretty good health week! I feel the same way about a new week...always lots of optimism! But then...

Oh, I see I was're exercising late today! LOL!

Comment edited on: 9/24/2010 11:31:54 PM

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    emoticon my sweet friend! I can hardly wait for morning to arrive!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!!

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RRP546 9/24/2010 9:24PM

  sounds familar

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