Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Ok, enough with the pity party. today is a fresh new day with a new attitude. I joined the team challenge and motivation, I have spark friend walking beside me in spirit if not in flesh, i"m strong, and i'm determined. I got this far didn't I? I can get to the finish line of this part of my journey. Let's be honest maintenance is the next leg.
to all my friends whom have pushed me forward, given me encouragement, or just a nice spark goodie. Sometimes I don't have the time to get back on that kind of stuff but know how it makes me smile to recieve a spark goodie or a note. I keep coming back to a few teams for the involvment they have, some i've had to drop because well....they didn't do it for me. I'm not going to get very far with a team that doesn't move or no one comes back. I mean I can talk to myself all the time at home but when i'm sparking I want to be answered. lol.
So i'm picking up my and getting moving. It is time to face the facts, this weight didn't come on without a little help from me, and it surely won't leave without some help from me. I put myself in this place and I have to take myself out of it. It isn't going to be easy to take the high road and leave the easy road. It isn't going to be easy not giving in to my cravings, boredom eating, or just bad habits, but who said this journey was easy. what in life worth having is ever easy? Nothing.
So till next time my spark friends......
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
I get so upset with myself a lot lately. I say i'm going start fresh, do better, eat better and then wham i'm back to the old me. Mostly when i'm off and have too much time on my hands. Oh don't get me wrong, I exercise religously which is what probably has helped me stay where i'm at, I drink my water like a fish, and I get my veggies and such in for the day....it is the nonstop snacking while i'm at home.
Food glorious food is my downfall. Oh i'm good till say.....lunch. Then from then on it is eat, eat, and eat...Now during the week i'm awesome, but let me have a day off. Sometimes I hold tough till sunday, and sometimes I do terrible both days. then I weigh in a get upset. I should be upset with myself not the dumb scales for telling the dirty little secret.
Ok, that is out. It is a fresh day, new start yet again. I'm off now that i've spilled my guts to get in my morning workout. I love a walk in the mornings....If not for the exercise i'd be as big as a house I do believe. I try to laugh it off but it isn't funny. I feel sad for myself that I can't follow just one simple plan. I mean I can eat anything I want within reason, I just can't seem to stay in reason. lol.
Ok, so I want to wish all a terrific day. I'm off to try and figure out where i'm going to get the energy for the rest of the week.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
the scales moved this week. I lost 0.8, I should of been happy but coming off a week with a gain of 2.6 this weigh in just upset me. I worked so hard this week. Got in extra exercise thanks to a team challenge on my ww team, ate according to my plan, stayed under my free points. I should of been down I felt a lot more.
Looking over my tracker I see that I should of ate more, there just wasn't time. work was so busy and I missed breaks, I went to bed after eating a very light dinner because I was exausted and yes with the extra exercise I think my body held on to what I wanted it to let go of.
So my new plan for this week, I can't believe i'm going to say this, is to eat a bit more. I really need to eat the food i'm suppose to. I mean the amounts i'm suppose to. I just have to keep up the exercise and eat. Kinda seems funny to type that out.
So till my next blog. Lets keep sparking. My glass is half full this week, even though I must say this morning I was looking at it as half empty. I was so upset me the scales, the loss, and myself. But i've had time to think it out, look over my book, and move on.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
September is here. My 44th birthday is looming around the corner. I had set goals for myself and did I succeed? nope. Came darn close but no cigar this time. Am I going to just pack it in and call it a day? nope, i'm still plodding along and hoping for the next month to be the one.
I"m stronger then I was say a month ago. Maybe not physically but surely mentally. I'm stronger minded then I was. I have new goal and renewed energy to meet it. My ww team has so many new challenges going on that i'm sure to break past all my defenses. I say mine because i'm what is standing in my way of reaching my goals. I do the self sabatage thing a lot. I have a friend that blogged about her fears and they made me see mine. I'm not a very outgoing person. I like to be kept in the background no attention brought to me. And I find this loss is doing just that. People are starting to take notice, which draws attention to myself. I said that was what I wanted, but really I don't know if it is. I have a lot of issues from my previous life that I thought were gone, but i'm guessing i'm still working those out.
So this month i've reset my goals. I will do what is needed to reach my goals. Nope, it may not be by the end of the month, it may not even be by the end of the year, but each pound lost is one step closer to those goals. As long as i'm not giving in, i'm not giving up. I'm beating those old demons that still play in my head. I'm strong, i'm determined and i'm me. I can do this.
So, today is day one, but i've been practicing a few things for a few days now, each night I go to bed with points leftover is a win for me. Each night I use one point of free points is a win for me. I need to learn to eat what is ok for the day and treat myself on occasion not all the time. I need to rethink a few things and i'm working on that. I'm planning a bit better now and that is a step in the right direction. I have to say I feel it is the exercise that has gotten me where i'm at today. sure not eating all the food in sight has helped also, but the exercise is key.
Yesterday I had another compliment. That was a good feeling, but a coworker pipes up with "yeah yeah don't brag" when I answered the customers question about my loss. I just said calmly I'm not braging it took a lot of hard work to get to this point. I don't want anyone to think this is easy. it isn't for the faint at heart. I'm strong to be on this journey as long as I have without going back. And truth told, In the almost two years it has taken me to get to this point i've not gone back to the old starting weight. so that is a big feather is my cap.
So my friends i will bid you farewell. I have some exercise to get too and that means me getting dressed and heading out. I hope all your dreams come true in september.
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