MALEXANDER4   173,124
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
MALEXANDER4's Recent Blog Entries

Weekly weigh in

Saturday, September 04, 2010

the scales moved emoticon this week. I lost 0.8, I should of been happy but coming off a week with a gain of 2.6 this weigh in just upset me. I worked so hard this week. Got in extra exercise thanks to a team challenge on my ww team, ate according to my plan, stayed under my free points. I should of been down I felt a lot more.

Looking over my tracker I see that I should of ate more, there just wasn't time. work was so busy and I missed breaks, I went to bed after eating a very light dinner because I was exausted and yes with the extra exercise I think my body held on to what I wanted it to let go of.

So my new plan for this week, I can't believe i'm going to say this, is to eat a bit more. I really need to eat the food i'm suppose to. I mean the amounts i'm suppose to. I just have to keep up the exercise and eat. Kinda seems funny to type that out.

So till my next blog. Lets keep sparking. My glass is half full this week, even though I must say this morning I was looking at it as half empty. I was so upset me the scales, the loss, and myself. But i've had time to think it out, look over my book, and move on.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 9/6/2010 12:23PM

    That's what this is all week at a time, one day at a time, looking back and seeing what we need to tweak in order to do better next time. You are on the right track and you can do it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 9/5/2010 2:35PM

    .8 LBS is a loss, your doing great, Hang in there.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 9/5/2010 9:09AM

    Celebrate the positivity of the gain and the loss both r teaching u something. It does not feel good to gain. I KNOW FOR SURE. But there r things I learned about myselt that I would not have identified without the gain. U r doing great

Report Inappropriate Comment

    emoticonon the 0.8 pound missing! That's great! Wishing you another successful week ahead!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUBAML 9/4/2010 8:54PM

    I wish you successful week! You can do it! emoticonLuba

Report Inappropriate Comment

Moving in the right direction

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
- Henry David Thoreau

Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
- John F. Kennedy

I think I myself my be finally moving in the right direction. It has only taken me ohhhhhh about a year and a half to reach this point. I'm staying the course, coming up with new ideas, getting the movement in that is needed and much wanted at this point. who would of thought I'd enjoy movement. Me the couch potato with the chips, dip, and a good book. I really find i'm reading less so as not to munch. I'm trying to retrain my brain about reading and snacking don't go hand in hand but as of yet still working on that one.

So far this week had been awesome to say the least. I"m so pumped for the weigh in coming. I know they may not show a whole big change but I feel the changes in me. The not eating after eight is working out great. Once I set my mind to it I see it happening. Hum, this might work in other parts as well...maybe i'll work on that one next.

I wish you all a great day. I'm off now to finish up some sparking and then hit the ground running this morning. I have a 100 days of fitness to get to.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INCTRL 9/5/2010 6:07PM

    Love those quotes! If we don't give up we eventually "get it" and move on to meet our dreams!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EDNABEYER 9/2/2010 11:54AM

    Thanks for the motivating quotes. Your words are exactly what I needed to read this morning. You're the best!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 9/2/2010 11:12AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 9/2/2010 10:48AM

    Great quotes, I have been up since 5am and got my workout in and will do another short one later. You will acheive your goals. I can see your determination.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 9/2/2010 10:24AM

    Great! Have a super day!
I'll be getting myself to the gym tonight (it's been a while...)

Report Inappropriate Comment

    YOU are going to do it!!!! I see you at GOAL ... can you see you there?

Report Inappropriate Comment
PMAY0313 9/2/2010 8:00AM

    Great quotes!

Report Inappropriate Comment

September is here

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

emoticonSeptember is here. My 44th birthday is looming around the corner. I had set goals for myself and did I succeed? nope. Came darn close but no cigar this time. Am I going to just pack it in and call it a day? nope, i'm still plodding along and hoping for the next month to be the one.

emoticonI"m stronger then I was say a month ago. Maybe not physically but surely mentally. I'm stronger minded then I was. I have new goal and renewed energy to meet it. My ww team has so many new challenges going on that i'm sure to break past all my defenses. I say mine because i'm what is standing in my way of reaching my goals. I do the self sabatage thing a lot. I have a friend that blogged about her fears and they made me see mine. I'm not a very outgoing person. I like to be kept in the background no attention brought to me. And I find this loss is doing just that. People are starting to take notice, which draws attention to myself. I said that was what I wanted, but really I don't know if it is. I have a lot of issues from my previous life that I thought were gone, but i'm guessing i'm still working those out.

So this month i've reset my goals. I will do what is needed to reach my goals. Nope, it may not be by the end of the month, it may not even be by the end of the year, but each pound lost is one step closer to those goals. As long as i'm not giving in, i'm not giving up. I'm beating those old demons that still play in my head. I'm strong, i'm determined and i'm me. I can do this.

So, today is day one, but i've been practicing a few things for a few days now, each night I go to bed with points leftover is a win for me. Each night I use one point of free points is a win for me. I need to learn to eat what is ok for the day and treat myself on occasion not all the time. I need to rethink a few things and i'm working on that. I'm planning a bit better now and that is a step in the right direction. I have to say I feel it is the exercise that has gotten me where i'm at today. sure not eating all the food in sight has helped also, but the exercise is key.

Yesterday I had another compliment. That was a good feeling, but a coworker pipes up with "yeah yeah don't brag" when I answered the customers question about my loss. I just said calmly I'm not braging it took a lot of hard work to get to this point. I don't want anyone to think this is easy. it isn't for the faint at heart. I'm strong to be on this journey as long as I have without going back. And truth told, In the almost two years it has taken me to get to this point i've not gone back to the old starting weight. so that is a big feather is my cap.

So my friends i will bid you farewell. I have some exercise to get too and that means me getting dressed and heading out. I hope all your dreams come true in september.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTABLES 9/2/2010 2:21AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonGlad you calmly told your coworker off. You weren't bragging and you are doing an awesome job.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 9/1/2010 11:42PM

    You sound much like me & I like the way you mention "previous life". Oh ya, I had a h@#$ of a previous life myself... and while I absolutely don't dwell in the past the demons just surface at times. Unannounced and unexpected. And we soldier on... Incredible how much baggage we accumulate in, oh, half a lifetime. Makes me wonder...

Okay, enough! (shaking myself like a wet dog...)

September is here. Let's work on accomplishing what we set out to do.
Hope you had a great SparkDay.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Michelle, great job! You are a strong amazing woman and you deserve all the compliments!!
You are working so hard and we both know that so much of this battle is mental. We'll get there though. It might take us a while, but we will NOT give in we will NOT give up.
Good job on calmly telling your coworker that talking about what you've done is most definitely not bragging. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    emoticon on your accomplishments, Michelle. You are working hard ... and it shows!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 9/1/2010 8:14AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I really applaud you and your accomplishments!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Why's of staying on track

Monday, August 30, 2010

emoticon everyone see's the changes, you don't. everyone pats you on the back and tells you how great you look, you still don't see what all the hype is about. The scales show you near your goal, you still can't see past the old body standing on them.

Why? Why do we think that we are the same, Why do we jump the tracks when we should be on the straight and narrow by now, why do we struggle with the same old troubles when we are so close to goal that we must of done something right to get this far?

Why? These questions I beat myself up with daily. I know i've come so far but then I slip, I trip, I fall on my face and then I feel like I haven't learned a thing. I step back and I see the changes of water instead of cola all day long, I see that I exercise daily and walk at lunch, I see that I eat more veggies and even fruits then ever before. I see all these changes, it is my body that i'm having trouble seeing.

We put on clothes and suddenly they are too large. Did we not dry them in the dryer because this can't be anything we did. I mean i'm still snacking on the weekends like nobodys business. I haven't taught myself anything along those lines. How to work past it. How to walk away and tell myself I don't need or want those snacks. I don't need the chips, I don't want that candy, I can live without that snack cake. And not one or two but sometimes a binge fest like I can't get enough. Why? I have no answer to these questions. I say i'm going to work on it but really I don't. I say i'm going to come up with a new plan, but I don't. Or rather I do I just don't follow it.

I want to stay on track, I want to see losses each week, I want to see the same person everyone else sees when they look at me. I want to see how good i've done. I want to inspire just one other person to take better care of themselves. but how can you do that when you don't inspire yourself to change the one habit that is holding you back? I'm not sure, i'm still working on this. this is the one habit that is going to keep me on this roller coaster for a long time. Oh i'm going through the motions. I'm doing what i'm suppose to, to an extent, but then I get bored and allow that to determine my day. I allow the junk to get in my way. I have to say enough. I have to want it bad enough to see the problem and work it out. I look over my foods for yesterday and all I see is junk. Oh I counted it all. All 32 points worth. that is 12 over my daily allowance. twelve points of nonesense. Twelve points of just plain laziness.

I have to move on from here. I have to work through this. I have to give myself the credit I deserve for the changes i've made, but i also at the same time have to work past this need to munch.

I'm sorry this blog just kept going. I set my timer and turned it off because this was going to take longer then I thought. I now am off to get my morning workout in. I love how exercise makes me feel. I love how I feel when i'm eating right and losing. So maybe I have to give these feelings a chance and let the self pity, the self loathing, the self punishment stop. So what i'm taking forever to lose 30 pounds. So what i'm not perfect. Who is? I mean really. I need to stop trying to be and just go forward with my goals.

I''m going to close with a few words from a mily cyrus song called the's always going to be an uphill battle, theres always going to be things you have to move, it isn't about how long it takes to get there it's about the climb. Don't worry about what's on the other side.

I love that song, and if you get the chance listen. It is us on this journey.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 8/31/2010 12:13AM

    Michelle, you are a beautiful lady through and through and I know that one day you can let go of the self loathing, self sabotage and all the rest and see YOU. We don't need to be perfect, we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Your blog rings so true for me...I say I want this...I think I want this..but I keep standing in my way? Why? I can't figure it out for the life of me. I say I'm worth I not believe it?? Well, we WILL figure this out and we will beat this and we WILL see progress and we WILL pat ourselves on the back for all the positive changes we are making! One day at a small step at a time...hang in there you can do it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 8/30/2010 9:06PM

    Keep at it, you are doing a great job.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 8/30/2010 5:45PM

    Hey, I wanted to look at your 32 points of junk food but your tracker is not public :-)

I find myself constantly fine-tuning and adjusting and rearranging. Currently on a monthly basis.

I usually start out pretty strong and as time goes on - bloop, here goes the plan.

Make a plan, spell it out - in detail.
Implement it. You'll see what works, you'll see what doesn't.
Throw out the stuff that doesn't, adjust your plan. Repeat.

I understand your frustration completely. I've been losing (or actually not losing) those last 10 lbs for 3-1/2 years now...

Here's the thing - I want to, but since I'm physically fit, not overweight and really have no other incentive than me wanting to, I'm not putting in sufficient effort to accomplish my goal.

So, I've been largely toning and maintaining.
Considering that many people who lose weight and even reach their goal weight end up gaining everything back, that's still considerable success.

Let's make a pact to stick with it through September.
No more late night snacking, no more weekend binges. Just for one month! (Hey, that's only 4 weekends.)

We can so do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 8/30/2010 4:43PM

    progress instead of perfection. Her song is soooo true!!! Keep up the good work

Report Inappropriate Comment

    emoticonOne day at a time!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Fresh start success day one

Sunday, August 29, 2010

emoticonOk, so it was only the first day, but I did it. I followed through, stuck to my plan and came out a winner. emoticonToday I woke ready to face day two of my new week and fresh start. I guess I figured if I could do day one day two should be a breeze. Yeah right...we all know about weekends.

My hubby and I found some great buys on and end tables for 30.00, new light for the dining room 10.00, great new rug for dining room 30.00...never give goodwill or salvation army a passing thought, they are worth checking out. Here is a pic of my finds...

The tables my hubby refinished in two days. He is awesome to have around.

I'm off now to get in my morning workout. have a great sunday all and lets make this new week an awesome one.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 8/31/2010 12:07AM

    The tables look great!! (hmmm sometimes I wish I had a handyman around the house! haha!)
Great way to get back on track you can do this!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTABLES 8/29/2010 6:27PM

    Nice job and great finds. Love the tables. I love thrift shops and Salvation Army stores.
Yes, You can do this.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Great finds! The tables look sooo good! Have a great week Michelle!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 8/29/2010 1:42PM

    Yes, let's make the new week an awesome one.
We can so do this!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    How beautiful! And what great bargains!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PETAL65 8/29/2010 9:10AM

    I love bargains!
The tables look ab fab!
Your hubby did a great job!

Hope the workout was a good one!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 Last Page