Friday, August 27, 2010
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We all make choices in our lives. We chose to eat it, we chose to exercise, we chose to get fit, we chose to make changes. It is how we follow through with those changes that make us who we are.
I will follow through on my changes. I have sat back and looked over my last week. The choices i've made, the options I could of chosen, the moments I missed. I sit here and wonder if I could of done more, less, a bit extra. Oh for sure. but I won't let those choices define me.
So today I chose to follow my plan, drink my water, get up and move, put that snack back in its bag, and I chose my life. I have set goals for myself, I have plans for my future and they don't include sitting on the couch with a bag of chips and that heart attack waiting to happen. Nope for me health is my choice.
It is funny I had a nickname growing up of "bones". My dad gave it to me and he called me that for the longest time. I saw my dad the other day (we don't see each other much because of issues) and he said your getting boney....Hey you've earned your nickname of bones back. That moment made me smile. I have wanted to reach this point for years. ever since my daughter was born some, omg 24 years ago. Well it happened. I finally made up my mind to succeed and I'm doing it. One day at atime, one step at a time, and one mouthful at a time.
Oh sure I could of reached my goal weight by now, but I took it slow. Well really it took me slow. I had stops, starts, restarts, and just plain moments of laziness. then one day it clicked. I found I enjoyed exercise, I liked the foods I was eating. Oh I still partake of the foods that cause me trouble, the ones that lead me astray. I keep telling myself I won't but then the munchy monster that lives in my mind comes calling. He tried to call last night but I kept putting him off. I would say just a minute, and that minute turned into all night. Now will I do that again today? I can't say for sure. I can only try each day to succeed.
I"m off now to begin the new me trend. I have plans for myself and they don't include gaining all the weight back that i've lost, they include exercise, good choises and let's be honest lots of hard work.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
As I sit here writing this blog i'm wondering what exactly i've done with myself or my goals this week. I have to be honest, I worked out, but I should of done more, I ate well, and that means I ATE well everything within my grasp. I slept good, heck I was on vacation so i'm sleeping really good. I also think that has a lot to do with the eating frenzy i've been on. The vacation that is.
Oh it started off innocent enough....a snack here, a bite there. You know your on vacation and all of a sudden your starving. I mean really your not, you just think you are. I mean I did good the first two days. Morning and evening exercised, ate the right foods, made good choices.....then the rains came. I mean it rained all day and night while we were in florida. No beach for us. So there went the walks, I mean I shopped but really was that enough? I dare say not. Then the bordem hits....I eat. It is a vicious cycle for me.
Ok, so now that is off my chest. Did I get back on the wagon when I got home? you bet I did. I wrote it all down, I drank my waters, I got in my exercise. I sparked, a lot. So i'm back, somewhat. I can't undo what I did but heck it was a few days out of my life. I can very easily get those back. Or will I? I mean we say were going to get back to it, but then it is one more helping, one more snack, one less bit of exercise and before you know it your messed up for good.
Well that won't be me. IN fact the truth is I really hated myself. You know the self loathing you get when you don't do as your suppose to. When you know your not making wise choices but the voice in your head is telling you it is going to be ok, have that big cheesburger and those onion petals. They are a vegtable afterall. Lol. I'm ready for some change. I know this week it may be in the form of a gain. Kinda sucks for me because I had a good loss finally after three weeks of staying the same last week. But maybe this is what I needed to get myself back in form. I really want to see the movement head in the downward direction but I won't lie to myself.
I will step on those scales this week and just chock it up to experience and a good time had by all. I won't appoligize to anyone least of all myself for having a good time and enjoying a few treats I don't normally have. I won't knock myself down when I should be picking myself up. This is life. it will move on.
So did I have a great time in clearwater? Oh yeah, so much so. And really isn't that all that counts? For me it is. So till next time. Good night my spark friends. Don't think less of me when I weigh in this week. I'm still here, i'm still strong, and i'm still headed for my goal and the magic number.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
You know it is funny that we blame others for our state. If we eat extra it is because for some reason or another someone felt we needed it, we had a bad day, were tired, yadayada....well I can say without a doubt that I think it is myself that is the root of my troubles. Whether it is a feeling I have or it could be that snack cake sitting in my gut, or was it the granola bar, or the popcorn....this is all things I ate while in the bed. Mind you I got up to get them, brought them back and just inhaled....Problem.....oh yeah....want to know why? I do this to me all the time.
I could of, should of, need to plan for the nights when i'm going to binge. The nights I work late, the nights i'm not tired (or think i'm not), do I you ask? Never, Oh I say i'm going to, I head to the store with good intentions and then comes the mid week, weekend, boredom blues and i'm heading for anything that is edible. I've tried gum, hot chocolate, going to bed to sleep, hard candy, dessert after my meal...Nothing seems to stop me. I have a good day and then the next is downhill from there.
Am I setting myself up for failure? you betcha...it has taken me over a year and a half to lose about 20 pounds. I see folks on here doing that in months. It has taken me a lot of miles to get the shape I have but is it the final magic moment? nope. this is a milestone for sure, but it isn't where I really want to be. So knowing this, paying for ww online, buying all the neat tools, toys, foods, and such why am I still at the place that put me here in the first place? That is the magic question.
I tell myself I want to succeed, I tell you all I want to succeed, I go out and walk, run, elliptical, treadmill, bike, weights myself to a sweating mass, I buy all the great foods, I eat breakfast, go to bed at the right time, get my water in. I even use my lunch break at work and get in about 20-25 more minutes of light walking daily. So i'm doing all that I can, or think I should be to reach my goals and hold them there.....then I go and mess it up.
Guys i'm telling you somedays the calore content in one evening is more then I eat during a good meal...what is up with this? Before you say journal, I do. I still couldn't tell ya what is up. I don't eat because i'm upset. I thought it was boredom but i'm beginning to think that isn't it either. So i'm going to have to have a heart to heart with Michelle and see what it is she wants and needs. We have to do this from time to time. Keeps her in the now and she does tend to relax a bit too much sometimes.
I'm going to begin today anew, I know that the scales may show the quilty pleasures i've had this week, I've stayed the same for three weeks running and i'm prepared for this weigh in. I'm not quitting. I've just got to grab myself and stop this madness. My goal this week is to work on no eating after eight. If I can do that then I will work on the others. One baby step at a time. Of course no snacking after dinnner is going to be a part of this week also since by the time I get home from work and eat dinner it is after seven thirty anyhow.
So wish me luck and any suggestions that have worked for you would be greatly welcomed.
Get An Email Alert Each Time MALEXANDER4 Posts