Saturday, July 17, 2010
All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande
Ok, the results are that i've gained 0.8 this week. If I was really honest with myself or you it should of been more. I really thought it would be. I didn't stay on plan, I ate like there was no tomorrow and I really didn't exercise like I wanted. How do I feel about this? Upset with myself.
One of my coworkers had this suggestion for me....."just take a week off and don't track or count and begin frest next week". You've got to be kidding me. I don't think so. Isn't that what I did this week? I mean look how that turned out. Not.
So today is my first day of a new week. I'm paying for ww and i'm going to use every available service to me. I'm going to get up and move this week, I'm going to try to beat my usual times and i'm going to get my butt back on plan. Tracking and counting is what worked and that is what i'm going to do. Stopping what i'm doing isn't the answer. Heck that is what got me here in the first place. I guess people see this as a kind of punishment. The truth is i'm eating a lot of good food most of the time. I have moments and insanity days but for the most part the thought of stopping all this is crazy to me. nope, i'm not giving up for a week or a day, i'm here for the long haul.
So I pledge to me, Michelle, to get up and move more this week, get my fruits and veggies in daily, drink my water and give it heck.
I am a winner and i'm going to prove that to me.
Friday, July 16, 2010
I don't know what happened. One minute i'm on plan the next i'm out of control. I'm hungry, i'm bored, i'm tired and i'm eating uncontrollably. Not just one day but a few. I've used my free points, i'm even tempted to use my activity points even though I feel like you shouldn't reward yourself with food for getting physical but..................just this once I may have to.
My week started off great, then wham I'm hungry, ok maybe not hungry just wanting the foods I usually don't even care to have. I'm eating and eating and hating myself. You all know the feeling. The this is so bad feeling but so good at the same time. Don't kid me, I know we all have those moments. Well lets say I had a few of them this week.
My weigh in is tomorrow morning. Can I make a comeback in one day. Maybe not but i'm going to do my best to regain some form of respect for myself and my goals. I have goals and this week I just feel like they went way out the window. Yeah I moved alot, but did it make a difference? probably saved me from total anialation but that is about it.
So i'm not going to give in to the well "you've already messed up" line. I"m not going to just toss the week aside. I"m going to pick my sorry butt up off the ground and get moving. Yup i'm going to move today for all i'm worth. I'm going to stay on plan and let what will be be. I know that when I post a gain it is me whom I hurt, nobody else. I will get pats on the back and it will be ok emails, but really it would of been ok if I had done what I should of done and not what the old me used to do.
I tell myself i'm changed but then wham a week like this and I 'm wondering. Well no need to wonder, the old me would of thrown away all the hard work, the new me is ready to regain a bit of myself and my self respect and give it heck. I"m going to see my magic number one day and today may not be it but who knows it could be someday soon.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.
- William J. H. Boetcker
Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
These came to me this morning in my email. I thought I would share with my spark friends. We are all successes in our own right. Some for great losses, some for hard work, some for determination, but all of us for coming here and taking that first step. The first step is the hardest for all of us. But we have done it. We began this journey with such hope and great ideas for our future. Sometimes we have taken wrong turns, lost all thought for ourselves, and just gotten tired. But somehow we hang on. We are what matters, we are our own worst enemies or our own best friends.
I"m learning to love myself. It has not been an easy journey, i'm learning to trust myself, again not an easy journey. It is funny how our lives and how they have been lived up to this point can determine how we see ourselves. For me it was abuse as a child, a exhusband who continued the trend of emotional abuse and sometimes physical, and then the moment when I was left totally alone to raise two young children . I was told for so long I couldn't do it and then here I was doing it. I found out I was strong, I was a good person, I was somebody. Now here I am years later, much counseling, a very wonderful husband, a new understanding of myself and 18 pounds lighter i'm loving me.
We all are wonderful we all have great ideas to share, we all have dreams to accomplish, we all want to see that magic number if only for a minute. we are somebody, we are strong, we are spark, we are going to succeed. Let no one tell you otherwise. You can be your own worst enemy or your own best friend. You decide.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I'm really doing this. I'm staying on plan and losing weight. I'm down another pound this week. Week two of ww is a success also. I'm at a new low for me, haven't seen this number in many a year, wait i've never seen this number.
You see I was always the thin girl, the anorexic looking waif. I ate like a horse and never gained a pound. Yes haters that was me. I was never going to get fat. Nope not me, diet what was that but a bad four letter word. SURPRISE, life got in the way. I had a child and ballooned from 105 to 175 over night it seemed. Wait that will come right off, i've never had to watch what I ate before..... WRONG....
My first baby is 24 my second is 21, i'm still not back to my preprego weight. Will I ever be? nope, not for me anylonger. that was the skinny kid, the one who took her looks for granted, hid the little tummy, I mean what I would give for that belly roll again...lol...Nope, i'm happy just reaching a healthy weight this time. I'm happy i'm sitting where I am, yes the struggle has been great. Sure I would love to veg in front of the tube and eat my chips that I dearly love with a bit of ranch dip, but alas that is no longer me.
I'm content to have a few now and again, i'm content to watch one show and then get up and get moving, i'm content to step on the scales and see a half-pound loss or even a smidgeon of a loss. At this stage in my game i'll settle for anything. Wait i'm not settleing for anything. I'm making this happen. It isn't coming to me i'm reaching for it and i'm taking hold and not letting go.
It is funny how on this journey we sometimes only see the bad, my journey is sometimes filled with struggles, potholes, pitfalls, but i'm seeing the good in all this also. I'm in a much smaller size, i'm happy with the work I do each week and some weeks I get down on me when I don't get more work in. I 'm happyest eating the healthy foods, and treating myself on occasion to the not so good for me foods. I eat them and move one. LIfe is too short to waste it just being unhappy. My motto is if your unhappy with something change it. We have the power, if you think you don't you won't and you will not win. That isn't an option for me.
I'm going to succeed. I'm going to step on those scales one day and see the "magic" number come up. I'm going to go down fighting and come up swinging. We all have the power to succed it is in all of us. But you have to really want it, you have to be ready for it, and you have to work for it. The old saying is true....nothing worth having comes easy......
Ok, i've written more than I intended to. Sometimes I get to going and can't seem to stop myself. If you could hear me in person i'm the same way...a talker. I can multitask...walk and talk at the same time and do it daily. lol. Michelle.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
I feel a bit cheeky, I haven't blogged in a bit. Not that I didn't want to I just didn't have the time. Now I still found time to eat right, but my exercises leave a lot to be desired. I wish I could say it was because of great moment in my life taking up my time, but alas it is just too many pups to care for. Between changing puppy pads, feeding, cuddling 16 puppies and that takes about an hour each morning i'm not left with much energy for me. At night my one thought after taking care yet again is going to bed. But alas the light is at the end of the tunnel. they start going to new homes today. Thank you lord for that. Don't get me wrong I love each one in kind but enough is enough. Momma's don't know it yet but they are going to the vet as soon as the last pup goes.
My exercise has been thrown for a loop this week and i'm off to find a way to get it back. this morning i'm going to get in a bit of walk/jog, I've done strength and that is a bit more then i've been doing. I have gotten a walk in at lunch here or there but nothing like I was.
So i'm still here, still plugging along, and still heading for my magic number. It is just taking a few side roads along the way. I wish each of you a very spark filled day.
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