MALEXANDER4   171,137
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sticking to my guns so far

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I made a promise to myself the other day and so far i've done as I told me I would. No bingeing and i'm getting in my exercise plus. I really don't have so far to go but no matter how close or how far our goal is it still seems like miles away.

As I was eating my salad for dinner I was thinking that even though I have 18 pounds left to go my struggle is no different then someone with two or 100 pounds to go. We still struggle with the eating, the exercise, the self loathing, the I just can't do this feelings. the journey is the same for all of us. IF someone tells you how easy it is they are lying to you and themselves.

I'm on this journey to get healthy. I"m doing that. I have lost some weight in the process, i've lost inches. but I need to stop viewing each gain and setback as though it is a make or break kind of thing. Now that said, i'm going to succeed. I have made me a promise and I intead to follow through on that promise.

So i'm off to get this show on the road. It will take me one step, day, and week at a time but i'm going to succeed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 4/23/2010 7:32PM

    Think of how far you have progressed till now. You can do get to your goal. Hang in there. -- Lou

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/23/2010 6:39AM

    You can do it ... we grow into our new selves as we're able to manage our newness. You're getting there!
Hugs,
emoticon

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KENDRACARROLL 4/22/2010 10:26PM

    This is too weird, 'cause I'm thinking the same thoughts. No, I have not blogged them (thought about it), but somehow I can't bring on paper (or on the screen) what's in my head.

My blog was to be entitled "Less to lose is just as hard" (maybe I will write it some day).
I, too have decided that I'm done fiddling around and losing the same 5 lbs over and over. Been successfully on track since Sunday.

Wishing you much success. We really can do this!!!

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JAMIEK927 4/22/2010 9:44PM

    Good for you...consistency will get you there.

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A promise to myself:

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I am making this promise to you Michelle, you will reach your goal weight, you will see the changes that this will bring. Your already seeing them, you just aren't looking in the right places. You have much more energy then before, Your in a size 6 for goodness sakes, that in and of itself says you have lost inches somewhere. Your down a total of 11 pounds. Now mind you this is in total, you have lost and gained many more than that, but for the sake of now and to the end you have lost 11 pounds total. That in and of itself is nothing to shake a stick at. That is that bag of potatoes that you can't lift with one hand, that is the weight of your puppy.

I need to put things in prospective for myself. I"m starting to fail myself. I say i'm going to do better, but alas I'm just saying that to myself, and then wham, i'm doing the old habits yet again. I haven't posted a blog in a day or two because I really had nothing to say to me. I'm upset with myself and the total lack of self control in the evenings, I do fine all day long, I eat a great dinner, then as soon as i'm up from the table i'm heading to the pantry. It is like i'm needing something but what i'm not sure. So like a person crazed I hit the chips, nope not it, the almonds, nope that wasn't it, the cookies, nope. Then I sit back and I feel sick at my stomach. Sick from the snacking but mostly sick at myself. Then I have to ask me the why questions, you know the ones why did you eat that? I wasn't hungry, heck I just ate my dinner. I wasn't craving or was I?

I don't know the whys or where fors but as of this minute I do know that i'm done. Done with the self hate, done with the bingeing, done with the seeing the cup as half empty instead of half full. This is my life i'm playing with. I have the tools I just need the will power and with my spark friends, my spark buddy and myself I have to admitt I have the willpower to succeed.

I'm getting sugar free hard candy today and try that after my meal. That will hopefully signify that i'm done. OH well I can give it a try, who knows it is so simple it just might work.

So hopefully MIchelle, the next time you blog it will be to say how wonderful you are doing, feeling and behaving.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_JULES1 4/21/2010 11:38AM

    Ok Michelle. You have had a rough patch of road lately. Not saying that makes it totally ok to binge your little heart out, but I am saying it is ok to cut yourself some slack.
You can not worry about yesterday. Just take today and make the most of it.
You can do this. You can win this battle. You can take off the rest of the weight. You are worth it. You do deserve it. There is nothing wrong with wanting it.
You will achieve it!

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IUHRYTR 4/21/2010 10:24AM

    Diverting your attention after dinner seems to be the immediate goal. How about getting outside for a walk or sit outside and have a cup of tea or coffee or go to a park for a walk, anything to get you away from the kitchen? -- Lou

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GOSPELCLOWN 4/21/2010 9:52AM

    I'm in the same boat... after supper.

That's when I go out for a walk in the dark. They laugh at my rain coat but I don't care. My galoshes are ugly too! Watch out- here I come!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/21/2010 9:20AM

    21 days to form a new habit they say. You have a plan. Let us hear your progress. We're here for you.
Hugs,
emoticon

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MARCYNA 4/21/2010 8:44AM

    Well it's difficult to change all of our habits in a few weeks and we have to think in medium/long term acquisition.
Children learn to speak after word after word, don't they???
Be patient, try the sugar free and whatever other trick and you'll see slow but permanent change.
A hug emoticon emoticon emoticon

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laughter is the best medicine

Monday, April 19, 2010

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

This was in my daily inspiration today. It is funny because yesterday as I was having my weekly heart to heart with myself I was saying how I should just laugh and move on. lfe is what we make of it. If you are serious all the time then you may never enjoy that moment of release, the moment when a good laugh is way better then a good cry.

Saturday I spent the day with my daughter and grandson who is two and ahalf. Now mind you my grandson is smart, talks like a grown up. As we are in the goodwill he spots a pink, barbie lawnmower. Now lawn mowers for some strange reason hold a special fasination for him. He had to have this one. He pushed it all over the store, proud as all get out. Didn't bother him one bit that it was a barbie mower. My husband puts a boa wrap around him, and a pink hat on his head, he comes running to me all dressed up with this mower and his "outfit" on and is so proud. I laughed so hard I thought I would wet myself. I wasn't laughing at him, I was laughing with him. He was so happy.....then we go to dairy queen because he insists on icecream. As he is eating his icecream he informs me about his dog petey and how he eats cat poop, I again laughed so hard. Children are brutally honest.

Now I know my daughter could of crawled under the bench then and there. But I just "really" and he turned back to his icecream. Of course as he turned around I laughed into my hand till tears came down my face.

My point to all this is that I felt the best I have felt in a long time. I really didn't want to go. but once I was out it was awesome. We had a blast, I laughed till I cried and life was good again.

We have to laugh on this journey, if we don't we may cry. This is no easy task, it isn't overnight, and no pill is going to make this work. It will come from us, inside, sometimes very deep inside. I for one intend to meet this challenge head on. One step, day, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISMARTIN01 4/23/2010 3:56AM

  Being with kids is the best way to be happy. And most of us have that experience in our lives. That too they way they say everything openly to the person they trust makes us happy.

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NEWGUN71 4/19/2010 9:17PM

    If only we could all have the heart and mind of a child again. The world would be a much better place.

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MRSJARI 4/19/2010 2:04PM

    emoticon What a wonderful age! What a wonderful child! emoticon

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IUHRYTR 4/19/2010 1:58PM

    Little ones are truly so funny sometimes, like with the lawnmower or when my nephew calls dinner items "snackaroni and sneeze" or "feetloaf" or "torn on a stick" or "smashed tators" instead of macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes. Let's enjoy them while we can and never be afraid to laugh and appreciate life's humor. emoticon -- Lou

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KENDRACARROLL 4/19/2010 9:56AM

    Sounds like you had a lovely weekend.
Thanks for the reminder.

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/19/2010 9:24AM

    HILARIOUS!! Loved the dog eat cat poop part!!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/19/2010 8:14AM

    I love to laugh ... it's one of my favorite things to do!!! Thanks for sharing your grandson stories ... they made me laugh so!!!
Hugs,
emoticon

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GERAPTIKO 4/19/2010 7:07AM

    emoticon

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weigh in

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Well friends today is my weigh in day, I would love to come here and tell ya all about how great I did....But alas I had a setback....half a pound set back to be honest. But It was due to my bedrest and lack of movement for a few days.

I"m good with this though, kinda new this was going to happen. But guys this is only a minor setback. I'm ready to kick it up a notch this week. Well maybe not a notch but i'm going to kick it up. this week I think I will concentrate on my exercise. That seems to be where i'm lacking. Not slacking, lacking. I do get in some exercise but to be honest I know it could be a lot more.

So my goal this week is movement, pure and simple.

I'm going to get there one step, day, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 4/18/2010 11:46AM

    Great determination. It's not the end of the road but simply a small bump along the way. -- Lou

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/18/2010 10:45AM

    Have a great week, Michelle. I love the experimentation of the journey ... see what the body responds to. What a wonderful thing she is!
Hugs,
emoticon

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/18/2010 7:55AM

    Iy is always a learning experience. Take what you learn and move forward.
you are doing good!!!

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PUTOFFPUTON 4/18/2010 7:46AM

    New week, new start! I love your attitude about taking steps toward your goal.
emoticon
Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.


Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein


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VELVETCATT 4/18/2010 7:38AM

    That's ok - you're still doing great. Dont give up and dont give in - keep it going! emoticon

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RIDLEYRIDER 4/18/2010 7:28AM

  Setbacks are only minor bumps in the highway to a healthy lifestyle!! emoticon

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Ramblings of a sparker

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Today is a new and bright day. I have had a wonderful week and even with a bit of surgery i'm still sitting pretty. I can't say if the scales will move, and to be honest since my week was spent in the bed the first two days of it, I really don't expect to see any. But if I do i'm truly blessed this week.

I'm feeling wonderful after my results from the doctor and i'm so blessed to be here. This week and the last months have given me new reason to feel blessed. As I sit here typing and thanking god that my "abnormal cells" could of been so much worse and that I was told I didn't have to worry and that I won't have to go back to the docs for six whole months, and I should be starting with a clean slate when I do. That is awesome.

I'm healing great, able to move and function. Been at work for two days and got caught up on so much. Now I can only hope this inspiration spreads to my weight loss. I've passed the same number three times already and that kinda worries me. Not in the sense that I can't get there, but that it is way too easy to get there. IF you know what I mean. One wrong step and all that we have worked for could be gone. We have to take this day by day and we also have to know this is a lifetime commitment. If your not ready for that step, stop now, don't go any further....your just wasting your time and much needed energy.

Well today is a new day. I"m off to get it started. I'm going to get my exercise in, have my weigh in tomorrow and what will be will be. God bless each of you. I will get there one step, day, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 4/17/2010 8:23PM

    Glad you're feeling better. Keep working hard. -- Lou

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/17/2010 2:45PM

    This is a lifetime commitment because I'm going to be here for a lifetime ... and I'm making the most of it!

Have an awesome day!
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KENDRACARROLL 4/17/2010 12:08PM

    ""We have to take this day by day and we also have to know this is a lifetime commitment. If your not ready for that step, stop now, don't go any further....your just wasting your time and much needed energy."

Very well said. That's exactly it.

Wishing you a glorious day.

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