Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I am making this promise to you Michelle, you will reach your goal weight, you will see the changes that this will bring. Your already seeing them, you just aren't looking in the right places. You have much more energy then before, Your in a size 6 for goodness sakes, that in and of itself says you have lost inches somewhere. Your down a total of 11 pounds. Now mind you this is in total, you have lost and gained many more than that, but for the sake of now and to the end you have lost 11 pounds total. That in and of itself is nothing to shake a stick at. That is that bag of potatoes that you can't lift with one hand, that is the weight of your puppy.
I need to put things in prospective for myself. I"m starting to fail myself. I say i'm going to do better, but alas I'm just saying that to myself, and then wham, i'm doing the old habits yet again. I haven't posted a blog in a day or two because I really had nothing to say to me. I'm upset with myself and the total lack of self control in the evenings, I do fine all day long, I eat a great dinner, then as soon as i'm up from the table i'm heading to the pantry. It is like i'm needing something but what i'm not sure. So like a person crazed I hit the chips, nope not it, the almonds, nope that wasn't it, the cookies, nope. Then I sit back and I feel sick at my stomach. Sick from the snacking but mostly sick at myself. Then I have to ask me the why questions, you know the ones why did you eat that? I wasn't hungry, heck I just ate my dinner. I wasn't craving or was I?
I don't know the whys or where fors but as of this minute I do know that i'm done. Done with the self hate, done with the bingeing, done with the seeing the cup as half empty instead of half full. This is my life i'm playing with. I have the tools I just need the will power and with my spark friends, my spark buddy and myself I have to admitt I have the willpower to succeed.
I'm getting sugar free hard candy today and try that after my meal. That will hopefully signify that i'm done. OH well I can give it a try, who knows it is so simple it just might work.
So hopefully MIchelle, the next time you blog it will be to say how wonderful you are doing, feeling and behaving.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
This was in my daily inspiration today. It is funny because yesterday as I was having my weekly heart to heart with myself I was saying how I should just laugh and move on. lfe is what we make of it. If you are serious all the time then you may never enjoy that moment of release, the moment when a good laugh is way better then a good cry.
Saturday I spent the day with my daughter and grandson who is two and ahalf. Now mind you my grandson is smart, talks like a grown up. As we are in the goodwill he spots a pink, barbie lawnmower. Now lawn mowers for some strange reason hold a special fasination for him. He had to have this one. He pushed it all over the store, proud as all get out. Didn't bother him one bit that it was a barbie mower. My husband puts a boa wrap around him, and a pink hat on his head, he comes running to me all dressed up with this mower and his "outfit" on and is so proud. I laughed so hard I thought I would wet myself. I wasn't laughing at him, I was laughing with him. He was so happy.....then we go to dairy queen because he insists on icecream. As he is eating his icecream he informs me about his dog petey and how he eats cat poop, I again laughed so hard. Children are brutally honest.
Now I know my daughter could of crawled under the bench then and there. But I just "really" and he turned back to his icecream. Of course as he turned around I laughed into my hand till tears came down my face.
My point to all this is that I felt the best I have felt in a long time. I really didn't want to go. but once I was out it was awesome. We had a blast, I laughed till I cried and life was good again.
We have to laugh on this journey, if we don't we may cry. This is no easy task, it isn't overnight, and no pill is going to make this work. It will come from us, inside, sometimes very deep inside. I for one intend to meet this challenge head on. One step, day, and week at a time.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Well friends today is my weigh in day, I would love to come here and tell ya all about how great I did....But alas I had a setback....half a pound set back to be honest. But It was due to my bedrest and lack of movement for a few days.
I"m good with this though, kinda new this was going to happen. But guys this is only a minor setback. I'm ready to kick it up a notch this week. Well maybe not a notch but i'm going to kick it up. this week I think I will concentrate on my exercise. That seems to be where i'm lacking. Not slacking, lacking. I do get in some exercise but to be honest I know it could be a lot more.
So my goal this week is movement, pure and simple.
I'm going to get there one step, day, and week at a time.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Today is a new and bright day. I have had a wonderful week and even with a bit of surgery i'm still sitting pretty. I can't say if the scales will move, and to be honest since my week was spent in the bed the first two days of it, I really don't expect to see any. But if I do i'm truly blessed this week.
I'm feeling wonderful after my results from the doctor and i'm so blessed to be here. This week and the last months have given me new reason to feel blessed. As I sit here typing and thanking god that my "abnormal cells" could of been so much worse and that I was told I didn't have to worry and that I won't have to go back to the docs for six whole months, and I should be starting with a clean slate when I do. That is awesome.
I'm healing great, able to move and function. Been at work for two days and got caught up on so much. Now I can only hope this inspiration spreads to my weight loss. I've passed the same number three times already and that kinda worries me. Not in the sense that I can't get there, but that it is way too easy to get there. IF you know what I mean. One wrong step and all that we have worked for could be gone. We have to take this day by day and we also have to know this is a lifetime commitment. If your not ready for that step, stop now, don't go any further....your just wasting your time and much needed energy.
Well today is a new day. I"m off to get it started. I'm going to get my exercise in, have my weigh in tomorrow and what will be will be. God bless each of you. I will get there one step, day, and week at a time.
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