Saturday, April 10, 2010
As some of you may know i'm getting ready for surgery on monday. I have a bit cf cervical cancer and it is going to be removed, or so we hope, anyhow that is not what I want to talk about.....anyways I have the best of both worlds in and out of spark, I have a spark buddy that I not only can chat with online but she works right beside me. We have been on this journey together now for over a year. She took a "rest" and I kept on trudging along. Though i'm not as far as I should be since winter. She rejoined me two weeks ago and I have to say life is full now.
Ok, now that you have that unneeded info my reason for this blog is this: she gave me the best gift yesterday before my leaving work. She had a "goodie bag" for me. It was awesome, in it was a new pedometer that i've been wanting but couldn't afford, a new mp3 player, and a bookmark, and gum, and our fav treats.....not only did I cry when receiving this, but when I got home and read the card and layed out my treats like a little kid at christmas I was awed that she knew me so well.......Cat if you read this I want to say thaink you once again. You got it so right. Of course I cryed again. How could I not.
So as I go off to the drs with my new bookmark in my book, and i'm chewing the gum to relax. I will be thinking of my spark buddy, and when i'm able and i'm off on my walks listening to my favorite music and checking my miles, i'll be thinking of my spark buddy.
Spark buddies and friends alike come to mean so much to us. They are there to see us through, laugh, cry, hug, and hope right along with us. I"m truly blessed in that my best friend is also my spark buddy. The lord placed her here for me and i'm so glad for that. I needed that hug yesterday and I truly loved the ilittle gifts that in my book were not so little. It was the bookmark that did it for me. I told my husband as I layed all the goodies out, "look she knows my so well", that is what made me cry the most. A small bookmark, she took the time to learn about me.
We all need a spark buddy and best friend. Mostly i'm a solitary person, but every once in a while I want and need that spark friend to see me through. I want to thank all my spark friends for the well wishes, and the prayers. My journey with this cancer is just beginning, but my journey with spark is never ending. God bless you all........
Friday, April 09, 2010
"The very nature of the world is constant change. You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it; then the assumptions on which you based your plan change - they always do. The challenge is to retain your goals while adapting your tactics. Relax and stay flexible in order to reach your goals and maintain your happiness."
This came to me today. Sitting in my email and it had me written all over it. Just yesterday I was talking about change, daily change, and Here is this message telling me to be flexible. That is what I like about spark, it is flexible. I can be me, I can slip up, get back at it, then reach milestones or slide back to home. But still spark is there. with open arms. friends to care, and share, and a place for me to cry, kick my feet, get angry, and just laugh.
I'm kicking my heels today, up that is. It is time to be flexible, it is time to fix what is wrong, come up with a new plan, be happy for how far I have come and know that around the next bend is goal. Not that goal is the end of the line, nope, more like the next step. After all what got you there is now what will keep you there. Work, tough, long, sweaty work is going to keep me there. No one ever said this was going to be easy. There is not magic pill, if only, and there is not magic word, wave of the hand, or stomping of the feet going to get me there.
So i'm biting the bullet. Putting on a happy face, and getting down and ready to fight. Ready to fight for me, to look in the mirror and see how far i've come. See me for whom I am. Not what I think I am. ME, just me. I"m going to get there from here. One step, day, and week at a time.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
This is going to be my new motto. Yes I can do it. As I sit here i'm wondering if it will be this month, next, or next year though. I tell myself each day that this is going to be the day I get back to it....nope not today, maybe the next.
Well this morning i've sat down and wrote out a few things I need to do to get there from here, I wrote my goals, and I'm posting it on the fridge. So what my daughter will snicker at it, my husband will ask questions. I will see it each time I head for a snack. I am having trouble with snacks for some reason. I do fine when i'm working, I guess that is because i'm on a schedule, when i'm off I do fine till afternoon. Seems as soon as I sit down to relax I snack. and snack, and snack somemore. Then I beat myself up about it that evening.
I want to see the scales move for the first time in a bit. Yeah I know they are moving a bit here and there, but lets be honest .2 or .4 is something that you can spit out. I want to see a loss, a loss in inches from the areas I need to lose in.
Each week I weigh in and i'm hopefull. Then mid week comes and i'm doubtfull, what is up with that. Am I alone in this thinking. My team mates lose, my buddy is moving her scales. Mine don't. I know don't compare to others, we are our own people, but come on...frustraion is the word I would use. I'm tired of being stuck on the scales. It is time to move it.
So I'm starting again. I"m always starting again. BUt the saying is try and try again. Sooner or later it has to get right. I"m going to get this right. It may not be this week, or next. But each day I exercise is a step, each glass of water is a step, each fruit I choose instead of that chocolate bar is a step. I have learned so much through spark and ww, I just need to apply what i've learned. Planning is the key and I plan to get this right.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Ok, i'm up, i'm alive, and i'm blessed. Now I really must get back at it. The last couple of days i've been a bit off. I have gotten in exercise and i've gotten in my water and such, but I do believe it was the cake and the piece of pie I had last night that might put me over the edge. But my slate is cleared today, this is a new day with new beginings and i'm up for the challenge. I think I can change up the outcome of this week with a bit of sweat and a lot of measuring. I"m not going to let this one week get me down.
I worry about posting a gain on my tracker. Then I have to stop and tell myself the only one i'm hurting is me. If I don't post is that hurting my team? No, it is me that is the ultimate loser, no pun intended there. I have to post each and every gain, loss, and nothing that comes my way. It holds me accountable to me. Afterall it is me i'm working for no one else.
So i'm off to get in a good run, today is my day to get back at it. no matter what those dumb scales say I know i'm a winner. One day, step, and week at a time.
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