MALEXANDER4   157,021
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This is a new week

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Life change comes about in two complementary ways - the "aha" moment, which occurs in a flash of insight, and the conscious redesigning of our habitual behaviors, which is a lifelong project. Recognize that "suffering is optional," and learn daily habits that support living a joyful and productive life in my book

This was in my inspirations for the day. Is this not spark. Is this not our journey. We all started with the aha moment and then kept on with the new behaviors. Yes we have setbacks, steps forward, and sometimes we fall down directly on our face, but here we are still sparking every day. That says we are champions. I know I will be. I'm not giving in. I have bad weeks, months, and sometimes I want to quit, but I don't. One thing about me is i'm determined.

I want to thank all for the comments on my blogs as of late. You guys are awesome. And to be honest your what keeps me going on this journey. We may not be able to reach out and touch but you touch me daily with your blogs, notes, comments and ideas. Thank you all for that. THank you all for caring about my surgery and just for stopping by on occasion.

I have to tell ya that even though I don't see ya face to face I talk about each of you and the really close ones like , cathy, julie, junebug, cat, sandra, I tell my husband stories about you like I just saw you that morning. I know he probably doesn't care one way or the other but to me you are real. And lord willing someday you will be close enough to reach out and touch. Thank you all for being there. For sharing your moments, good, and bad. For helping me with new suggestions, hugs, and pats on the back. This journey is so much better for having met all of you sparkers.

Of course I"m very lucky in that my dear friend cat is right next to me daily. We work together and we have decided to walk together once a month as schedules allow. We have also gotten another friend in on our walks. We are changing the world one person at a time. That is what being a spark person is all about. Reaching out to others.
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So as this new week begins for me, i"M excited, nervous, and ready. I lost a pound this week and that makes me want to strive for the next. Of couse with my surgery I may be down a couple of days, but when I get back up, watch out world, here I come. God bless you all.

I want to close with this quote from my spark friend cat " stop worring and start praying" We all need to take that one to heart on all days. If he leads us to it, he will lead us through it. And I know he doesn't give me more than I can handle. So i'm going to handle this little bump in my road with a lot of prayer, and a lot of energy. This is nothing, just a little cancer cell and it will be beat.

I will get there from here, one step, day, and week at a time. emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG1944 4/11/2010 1:29PM

    Again, I wish you nothing but the best and great news tomorrow! You are doing great and are motivated! Good for you!

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JUNEBUG1944 4/11/2010 1:29PM

    Again, I wish you nothing but the best and great news tomorrow! You are doing great and are motivated! Good for you!

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SLIMPAM23 4/11/2010 11:49AM

    Sending you big hugs.....and prayers for a good outcome and quick healing! Relax and take care of yourself!
Pam

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/11/2010 10:37AM

    I woke up this morning with thoughts of you and a prayer in my heart. I know our paths crossed so that we can inspire each other along this journey. And they crossed now because we need each other. I'm so glad we're here for each other. God's going to manage everything tomorrow ... just like he does today! Can hardly wait to hear your good report, my friend.
Hugs,
emoticon

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TERESA6262 4/11/2010 8:51AM

    Prayers are going up!

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LILOPEASHY 4/11/2010 7:45AM

    Thank you for your inspiring post... I really liked the parts about falling and getting back up again! I hope your surgery goes well!

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SRFRGRL7163 4/11/2010 7:37AM

    So much of what was in your blog reminds me of me. I've had those "aha" and "duh" moments. I've been on Spark a year and what I lost, I gained back. But I've had new motivation and I'm now more determined than ever. I tell my boyfriend stories and talk about Spark and what I've learned all the time. I'm more of a loner, but I feel as if I'm part of something, like I've never been before -- so sorry to hear of your upcoming surgery and wish you much luck and a quick recovery. And when no one else is there or listens...Spark does!

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My spark buddy

Saturday, April 10, 2010

As some of you may know i'm getting ready for surgery on monday. I have a bit cf cervical cancer and it is going to be removed, or so we hope, anyhow that is not what I want to talk about.....anyways I have the best of both worlds in and out of spark, I have a spark buddy that I not only can chat with online but she works right beside me. We have been on this journey together now for over a year. She took a "rest" and I kept on trudging along. Though i'm not as far as I should be since winter. She rejoined me two weeks ago and I have to say life is full now.

Ok, now that you have that unneeded info my reason for this blog is this: she gave me the best gift yesterday before my leaving work. She had a "goodie bag" for me. It was awesome, in it was a new pedometer that i've been wanting but couldn't afford, a new mp3 player, and a bookmark, and gum, and our fav treats.....not only did I cry when receiving this, but when I got home and read the card and layed out my treats like a little kid at christmas I was awed that she knew me so well.......Cat if you read this I want to say thaink you once again. You got it so right. Of course I cryed again. How could I not.

So as I go off to the drs with my new bookmark in my book, and i'm chewing the gum to relax. I will be thinking of my spark buddy, and when i'm able and i'm off on my walks listening to my favorite music and checking my miles, i'll be thinking of my spark buddy.

Spark buddies and friends alike come to mean so much to us. They are there to see us through, laugh, cry, hug, and hope right along with us. I"m truly blessed in that my best friend is also my spark buddy. The lord placed her here for me and i'm so glad for that. I needed that hug yesterday and I truly loved the ilittle gifts that in my book were not so little. It was the bookmark that did it for me. I told my husband as I layed all the goodies out, "look she knows my so well", that is what made me cry the most. A small bookmark, she took the time to learn about me.

We all need a spark buddy and best friend. Mostly i'm a solitary person, but every once in a while I want and need that spark friend to see me through. I want to thank all my spark friends for the well wishes, and the prayers. My journey with this cancer is just beginning, but my journey with spark is never ending. God bless you all........

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 4/11/2010 1:55AM

    Michelle I will be praying that all goes well with your surgery. I hope you have a speedy recovery!
emoticon emoticon

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BAMAMAMA130 4/10/2010 10:54PM

    I don't know what I would do without my spark buddy.
May God bless you and watch over you durnig surgery and afterwards. I pray for a speedy recovery for you.

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DARLENEK04 4/10/2010 9:32PM

  Michelle,

Praying for you..........that doesn't change from any other day
but now I am being specific.

Hugs,
Darlene

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IUHRYTR 4/10/2010 7:59PM

    Prayers offered for you, the doctors and the surgical team tomorrow and for you to have a speedy and successful recovery. We're here for you when you need us. -- Lou

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MAMABEARLICIOUS 4/10/2010 6:24PM

    i'm praying for you and also for your spark buddy because she is feeling it too. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THE_JULES1 4/10/2010 4:22PM

    Spark Buddies are the best. And it sounds like your buddy sparkles in more ways than one.
You know, I always say you have to be a friend to have a friend. I am glad she is able to lessen the weight you have on your shoulders right now.
I will be praying for you!

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EWEINHISPASTURE 4/10/2010 11:52AM

    I am praying for you dear spark friend,
Ruthie emoticon

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MARYHANNA 4/10/2010 11:42AM

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you! I love the fact that your SBuddy knows you so well. That is truly awesome!

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JUNEBUG1944 4/10/2010 11:19AM

    I wish you the best, Michelle! We'll all be praying for you and pulling for you! It's so nice to see that people care, and we do! emoticon

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WALKNLOVE 4/10/2010 10:54AM

    Every good and perfect gift ( a friend) comes from the Father.
May The Lord lead and guide your doctors.May the Lord's hand be the one doing the surgery, and in Jesus name, may you be healed! love & prayers....

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NEWGUN71 4/10/2010 9:25AM

    As you see you have a lot of support here, but it helps so much to have that added support with the people we see as well. I hope all goes well and you are in my prayers.

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EVVYSBABY 4/10/2010 8:45AM

    Awesome! It is so cool that you have a friend/spark buddy that is such a blessing in your life.

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/10/2010 8:33AM

    She is gem and so are you...Keep shining together.

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CBLANK20091 4/10/2010 8:26AM

  Such a good friend is a true blessing and treasure. I'll keep you in my prayers

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/10/2010 8:20AM

    emoticon
Friends just are the very best ... especially on this journey we call life.
Praying for you that Monday's outcome will be most awesome.
Love and prayers,
emoticon

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PVILLELADY 4/10/2010 8:14AM

    How awesome it is to have a Spark buddy like yours! She sounds like a real treasure!! You are, indeed, a very lucky lady.

I wish you all the best with your surgery...am sending you good thoughts and many prayers that all goes well and that you have a very quick recovery period!!!!

emoticon
Diane

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Ever changing

Friday, April 09, 2010

"The very nature of the world is constant change. You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it; then the assumptions on which you based your plan change - they always do. The challenge is to retain your goals while adapting your tactics. Relax and stay flexible in order to reach your goals and maintain your happiness."

This came to me today. Sitting in my email and it had me written all over it. Just yesterday I was talking about change, daily change, and Here is this message telling me to be flexible. That is what I like about spark, it is flexible. I can be me, I can slip up, get back at it, then reach milestones or slide back to home. But still spark is there. with open arms. friends to care, and share, and a place for me to cry, kick my feet, get angry, and just laugh.

I'm kicking my heels today, up that is. It is time to be flexible, it is time to fix what is wrong, come up with a new plan, be happy for how far I have come and know that around the next bend is goal. Not that goal is the end of the line, nope, more like the next step. After all what got you there is now what will keep you there. Work, tough, long, sweaty work is going to keep me there. No one ever said this was going to be easy. There is not magic pill, if only, and there is not magic word, wave of the hand, or stomping of the feet going to get me there.

So i'm biting the bullet. Putting on a happy face, and getting down and ready to fight. Ready to fight for me, to look in the mirror and see how far i've come. See me for whom I am. Not what I think I am. ME, just me. I"m going to get there from here. One step, day, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/9/2010 6:34PM

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing. This exactly where I am. If it takes me past my goal date to loose these 35 pounds and I am happy in the process I will be ok! emoticon

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JUNEBUG1944 4/9/2010 6:13PM

    Thanks for sharing. It's good to read about what is helping each one of us. We are all so different, yet so much alike.

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PVILLELADY 4/9/2010 9:22AM

    You are such an inspiration, Michelle!! Truer words were never spoken...

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and prayers while I try to climb out of this depression pit; they mean the world to me!! I'm getting better, slowly but surely... I've started walking again and can't wait to start running. You and I are going to do a 5K together this year, just you wait and see!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon
Diane

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ROCKNROBIN62 4/9/2010 8:48AM

    Wow you couldn't of said it better. These words will come to me when I feel like I can't go one more step. Nobody said it would be easy but the end result is worth it. A long and happy life.
emoticon emoticon

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/9/2010 8:08AM

    What true words! Thanks for sharing!!

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Always starting again!!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

emoticonThis is going to be my new motto. Yes I can do it. As I sit here i'm wondering if it will be this month, next, or next year though. I tell myself each day that this is going to be the day I get back to it....nope not today, maybe the next.

Well this morning i've sat down and wrote out a few things I need to do to get there from here, I wrote my goals, and I'm posting it on the fridge. So what my daughter will snicker at it, my husband will ask questions. I will see it each time I head for a snack. I am having trouble with snacks for some reason. I do fine when i'm working, I guess that is because i'm on a schedule, when i'm off I do fine till afternoon. Seems as soon as I sit down to relax I snack. and snack, and snack somemore. Then I beat myself up about it that evening.

I want to see the scales move for the first time in a bit. Yeah I know they are moving a bit here and there, but lets be honest .2 or .4 is something that you can spit out. I want to see a loss, a loss in inches from the areas I need to lose in.

Each week I weigh in and i'm hopefull. Then mid week comes and i'm doubtfull, what is up with that. Am I alone in this thinking. My team mates lose, my buddy is moving her scales. Mine don't. I know don't compare to others, we are our own people, but come on...frustraion is the word I would use. I'm tired of being stuck on the scales. It is time to move it.

So I'm starting again. I"m always starting again. BUt the saying is try and try again. Sooner or later it has to get right. I"m going to get this right. It may not be this week, or next. But each day I exercise is a step, each glass of water is a step, each fruit I choose instead of that chocolate bar is a step. I have learned so much through spark and ww, I just need to apply what i've learned. Planning is the key and I plan to get this right.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG1944 4/8/2010 10:25PM

    As long as you keep starting over, you are still in the game. You will do it, my friend! I know what you are going through, believe me, I do! Just keep starting over and, hopefully, the times between starting over will become longer and longer until you aren't starting over anymore!
emoticon

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LITTLEBRICHIZ 4/8/2010 10:30AM

  you can do this. every day is a new day and chance for you to become a new you. we are here for you.

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IUHRYTR 4/8/2010 10:07AM

    Take it one meal, one exercise, one positive day at a time and you'll get there. -- Lou

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ITSABOUTME2407 4/8/2010 9:31AM

    i loved how topazdiva put it you are only stalled!!! as long as you don't give up just keep that thought running through your mind!I'm going to
i am right there with you emoticonbut... I think???we have to some where along the journey learn to have self talks and be accountable to ourselves right? emoticon
wishing u a successful sparks day emoticontrisha

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/8/2010 8:55AM

    I am glad you are starting again and again and again... You are not a quitter. We might get stalled but we dont quit!!! Thanks for your comments on my blogs. I see we are in the same place. WE CAN DO THIS!!!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/8/2010 8:44AM

    Mid-week snacker. Oh my! We should form a support group! Or perhaps I need to go to an extra meeting during the week. Geez! This has to stop for me too. Your list on the fridge is a wonderful idea. Thanks for posting ... feels better to not feel alone.
Hugs,
emoticon

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CHITOWNGURL 4/8/2010 8:38AM

    I know how you feel sister.....right there with you. I am a snacker.....MAJOR SNACKER....I got laid off from my job due to workforce dropping & I eat out of bordem or stress....not working will give you both....so I felt doomed.....so.....I thought if I cannot quit snacking then I would allow myself to snack but just snack on things I like that are healthy or allowed to have....I got the fat free popcorn (some brands do not taste fat free such as Weaver's from walmart) and there are flavoring salts to mix up the flavor....I also eat apples with a little peanut butter....this does not sound like something you would want to snack on but I would force myself to try it first & if I did not want it could go to something else....but after the first bite I loved the sweet & savory of this snack & now love it....I also have lite lauging cow cheese with a few slices of oscar mayer shaved turkey or ham on wheat thins flatbread crackers....I really feel like I am cheating when I eat this! and for 2 long crackers with 3 slices of meat & the wedge of cheese is only 150 calories! Dark chocolate is another snack that is so full of flavor so you do not have to have much to be satisfied & is full of antioxidants & healthy for you....find low calorie or healthy snacks you like & have them handy....veggies dipped in reduced fat sour cream with dry ranch dressing added to it is another fave...I really hope this helps you some...I am the snacking queen but it took me awhile to figure out how to have my snacks and stay in my calorie range. If I want something not calorie friendly I let myself have it but do without something at dinner or have a low calorie dinner instead....good luck! emoticon

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GERAPTIKO 4/8/2010 8:34AM

    emoticon
It's hard but you can do it lots of people have lost weight and they've all had distractions, just do it!

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LOLEMA 4/8/2010 8:23AM

  as long as you don't give up you are doing good

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Getting back to it!!!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Ok, i'm up, i'm alive, and i'm blessed. Now I really must get back at it. The last couple of days i've been a bit off. I have gotten in exercise and i've gotten in my water and such, but I do believe it was the cake and the piece of pie I had last night that might put me over the edge. But my slate is cleared today, this is a new day with new beginings and i'm up for the challenge. I think I can change up the outcome of this week with a bit of sweat and a lot of measuring. I"m not going to let this one week get me down.

I worry about posting a gain on my tracker. Then I have to stop and tell myself the only one i'm hurting is me. If I don't post is that hurting my team? No, it is me that is the ultimate loser, no pun intended there. I have to post each and every gain, loss, and nothing that comes my way. It holds me accountable to me. Afterall it is me i'm working for no one else.

So i'm off to get in a good run, today is my day to get back at it. no matter what those dumb scales say I know i'm a winner. One day, step, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COUNTRYBUMKIN65 4/7/2010 3:34PM

    Yes today you have a clean slate... Hopefully when you write on that slate today it will be all wonderful things:)

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ITSAWRAP_DIMI 4/7/2010 1:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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IUHRYTR 4/7/2010 12:32PM

    w beginnings are allowed and encouraged. Hang in there and take it one positive day at a time. -- Lou

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THE_JULES1 4/7/2010 11:52AM

    You can do it. You have had a rough couple weeks. Hang in there!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 4/7/2010 10:10AM

    YOU are soooooo worth working for!!!!! emoticon

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JHADZHIA 4/7/2010 10:08AM

    We all have slips ups, its not a crime, just put in the time and get it done!
You are a winner because you aren't giving up!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RE2BAH 4/7/2010 10:07AM

    emoticonGreat plan!!! Acknowledge that you "fell off the wagon", dust yourself off, get back on the plan that will help you reach your goals!

Your sparkfriends are beside you all the way! emoticon

Have fun! Enjoy the springtime, get out and walk! emoticon emoticon

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