Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Ok, i'm up, i'm alive, and i'm blessed. Now I really must get back at it. The last couple of days i've been a bit off. I have gotten in exercise and i've gotten in my water and such, but I do believe it was the cake and the piece of pie I had last night that might put me over the edge. But my slate is cleared today, this is a new day with new beginings and i'm up for the challenge. I think I can change up the outcome of this week with a bit of sweat and a lot of measuring. I"m not going to let this one week get me down.
I worry about posting a gain on my tracker. Then I have to stop and tell myself the only one i'm hurting is me. If I don't post is that hurting my team? No, it is me that is the ultimate loser, no pun intended there. I have to post each and every gain, loss, and nothing that comes my way. It holds me accountable to me. Afterall it is me i'm working for no one else.
So i'm off to get in a good run, today is my day to get back at it. no matter what those dumb scales say I know i'm a winner. One day, step, and week at a time.
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Yesterday I wrote about the stressess of my world as of late. Why is it that people (family) want to understand but in the midst of that they suffocate you. They all want to know why no hysterectomy now, why not fight that? Guys i'm just glad that I may not need that at this point. They are going to take a piece of my cervix out and see what that does. Yes, it could mean going back for the remainder after three months, but I have faith and with that faith I have to be content in knowing that the lord will see me through. I have my strength, my health at this point, besides the little issue of cervical cancer, is great. I"m going ot come through this without a scratch, ok maybe a piece of me missing, but the piece is flawed and i'm working on the beauty that is me, so why not get rid of the flawed?
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the well wishes and such, but i'm a solitary person. Right now my mind is on overload and they keep adding to the thoughts. Got any suggestions on how to slow them down a bit? I could use one or two great suggestions right about now.
I'm keeping up with the exercise this week, I want to heal well. I know i'm strong but am I ready for this challenge set before me? you bet. So i'm off to start my day. exercise and eating right at the key to getting better quickly and I intend to do just that.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
When this year started I was so full of excitement for the year to begin. 2010 just had a great ring to it, but as this year has progressed and not too far into I may add, I have met many hurdles i've had to overcome. THe first was my son and his addiction which has been going on for some time. We went through the cleaning up process many months, about two years, ago, and wham I was hit with this again. He is working this out now, and even has a job. ONe hurdle over.
I get test results from a normal yearly pap smear that don't come out quite right. I go back for more, again not good, and then I do a biopsy, Not good at all. Results came in yesterday. I have cancer of the cervix. Fixable yes, but daunting just the same. I"m now going for a in hospital surgery, i'm having part of my cervix removed. Not all yet, but my doctor tells me that is to probably come. Insurance says I have to do this first. Welcome to my world. Hurdle number two.
SO far the only good thing so far this year is my daughter bought her first house. Or I should say is in the process. She is just waiting on the closing apr. 23. It needs some work and i'm looking forward to getting my hands dirty and my mind on something else for awhile. But I only hope my surgery isn't about the same time. That would be another wrench in my year.
My weight loss is going fine I suppose. i"M up, i'm down, i'm inbetween. I"m getting a bit overwhelmed with that. I must confess last night I snacked till I couldn't see straight. Binged is what I should call it. NOthing to bad, but enough to make me even more upset. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater but maybe I am. I kept thinking what difference does this make in the scheme of things?
Well i'm awake now, and I can see the difference. I have to take care of me during this time. And bingeing isn't doing that. So i'm up, i'm ready to move on and i'm going to do just that. I'm not going to lie, my mind isn't where it needs to be right now, but i'm going ot be fine. It is the road I have to follow right now that makes me a bit nervous.
I"m going to get there from here. It is going to take me one step at a time but I will get there.
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