MALEXANDER4   147,914
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
MALEXANDER4's Recent Blog Entries

Weigh In

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot. Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander - watching the view to left and right - above and below - as the days slowly move past in dress review.

Well it finally happened, I lost this week in a very good way for my recent weigh ins: down 0.6 this week. Almost a whole pound. that is awesome. My journey is moving along, finally. I want you to know that it meant counting, tracking, exercisesing, weighing food, measuring food. It didn't just happen. It was a little creativity and a lot of work.

I didn't try to race to the finish line. I took it slow, I ate when hungry, exercised daily (even if for 10 minutes a couple of days), but I wasn't in any hurry to finish. I want to enjoy the ride while i'm here. I"m seeing changes in myself daily, and I"m making new progress with myself. Life is good today, and with a lot of help from my leader it will be good tomorrow.

So guys, enjoy the journey, take it one step at a time and before you know it you will be at the finish line.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/28/2010 8:59AM

    I'm so very proud of you! You have the very best attitude and are working the program exactly right! Making lifetime changes in you. YOU are sooooo very worth the effort! Thanks so much for taking such good care of YOU!
emoticon emoticon
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATRET 3/28/2010 8:26AM

    Good thought to start the day - enjoy the journey!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JABCLUB 3/28/2010 8:23AM

    emoticon emoticon Glad to see you're sticking with it and beginning to see progress! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IUHRYTR 3/28/2010 8:22AM

    Losing weight and becoming healthier is definitely not a sprint but a marathon. We are here for the long run so, yes, slow and steady wins the race. -- Lou

Report Inappropriate Comment


My day to shine

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I'm hoping this is my day to shine. All is working out well with my daughter and her home. She just had to be patient. Pathways from fannie mae is awesome for first time homebuyers like her.

As for mom? i'm holding my own. My hubby and I hare having a few problems and I know deep in my heart it is my fault this is happening. Now don't get me wrong he is by no means perfect, I mean after all he is a male, lol.. He just don't understand my stress right now and really I just need to work on me. I'm in need of some me time. Last night I took it. Went for a drive, alone, went to a store and bought something for me. I got some new pjs finally, and I must admitt, they are a juniors 7/9 and they look darn good. I had to stop in the mirror this morning and just gaze at the wide wonder I had found. (borrowed that from a song). I should of done this a bit ago but maybe I wasn't ready. I had to grow, and learn. OH yes i'm learning about me all the time.

My children have always been my first and formost priority, then my hubby, the dogs, you get the picture, I fall to the very bottom. Soaking in a tub? you have to be crazy that entails me to undress, too much effort there. Do my nails? who has time to just sit still for any length of time, too much to do.

Now I must confess as my spark friends know, my children are grown, no longer at home. And I must confess I don't know how to take care of me. Even when I say I will, I don't. Where do you begin? How do you do it without the guilt of "I should be doing such and such"? This is where i'm at. I was so young when I had my kids I went from teenager to mom in zero point two seconds. I have been focused on family for so long when I do for me the guilt is aweful and heavy.

But alas this is my day to shine. The sun is out, I have new pj's, new panties, new socks, darn I"m a new person already. I have the warm weather, and a day to be me. My new life starts today. Move out of my way Michelle is coming through and nothing is going to stop her this time around. The guilt will still be there at times, like i'm letting someone down, but that is not for me, I"m not letting anyone down except me.

I didn't spend 20.00 yesterday and that 20.00 made me feel like a million buck this morning. I'm going to get there from here, one step, day, and week at a time. Not only am I going to reach my goal for the first time in my life, i'm going to take better care of me. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACH_BUMM 3/27/2010 5:49PM

    YEA!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/27/2010 4:12PM

    I love seeing you taking charge of you, of our life and your journey. Such a positive change for you. emoticon
Cathy emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMPAM23 3/27/2010 11:12AM

    Good for you Michelle. It's hard to go from taking care of everyone else to making yourself the priority. I am right there with you!! But you are doing a good job. Starting doing a little for yourself inch by inch and one pair of panties at a time if necessary!
Pam

Report Inappropriate Comment
IUHRYTR 3/27/2010 10:25AM

    It may take some effort to do things for yourself and not worry about other things that need to be done but you'll get there. Just ask about the other things if it is an emergency that they get done NOW. If not, don't worry about it. Indulge and relax. We all need alone time. Take it. -- Lou

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUNEBUG1944 3/27/2010 9:05AM

    Good Blog, Michelle! We have to learn how important WE are. We spend far too much time on unimportant things and ignore ourselves. I'm glad you're learning that Michelle is important and should be treated as such! Soak in the tub in a pile of bubbles and then give yourself a manicure...go whole hog! You can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 3/27/2010 9:02AM

    Michelle I am following your lead keep up the good work!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FCASTELO 3/27/2010 8:33AM

    .

Report Inappropriate Comment


Reflections

Friday, March 26, 2010

As I sit here about to get ready for another day of work, though it is friday thank goodness, and my exercise routine i'm aware that this is the norm now and not the occasional doings it used to be. that is the exercise. Each morning as I get up have a cup of coffee, yes some of us do survive on a cup, and I do a coach nicole video or just some of my own strength, then off to outdoors or the elliptical depending on the weather. then it is shower and off to work. My routine is not hard, not tiring, and I'm usually on time to work. Now mind you I do get up about 30 min. to an hour earlier than I could but is it worth it? You bet ya!!

As this week has been full of activity and mind numbing experiences i'm so glad for the even keel of my morning routine. Without it I would be so frazzled. My daughter is trying to purchase her first home, it isn't new by any means, needs work, and she is having trouble with her loan because of this, she calls and is upset and mom has to lend a ear, an arm, and a hug. That is my job, but I have to repeat to her as I often have, anything worth having never comes easy. If this home isn't the one there will be others to choose from. She doesn't like to hear this and I wish financially I could give this to her but I can't. We don't always get what we want, but we always get what we need.

I also have the tests that I took the other day for cervical cancer in the back of my mind. I say the back because I'm trying not to ponder the whys, where to fors, and such of this little trouble. It isn't the cancer that scares me as much as the tests and the pain of each one. I had a good cry last night, not out of pitty, but for my daughter and her dilemmas, me and mine, and just for the injustices in general. Does anyone else ever just feel like you have to cry to clear your head? I do!

I'm writing all this in that is seems to go hand in hand with this journey i'm on for my weight,....again nothing worth having comes easy, this is hard work. Getting healthy and staying there is hard work. I can't give up and I can't give in. What will be will be. I have faith that will see me through. I'm going to end this blog now as I have to get ready for a walk outside. Weather is permitting this and i'm ready. I can't run at this time due to healing from dr.s appointment but I can walk.

I will get there from here, one day, step, and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SQUAREBEAR 3/26/2010 11:01AM

    YOu are a strong and incredible woman. You are right nothing worth havind does come easy, and that goes for life too. I had cervical cancer and I understand your pain and fears. My prayers are with you to defeat this battle, and once it is over life will seem much sweeter. The best thing to do sometimes is to let the emotions come and to cry it out. I do that occasionally, and there is nothing wrong with it! I'm proud of you as you continue to move foward, and will be here to cheer you on and support you all the way! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROYALQUEEN0708 3/26/2010 10:04AM

    Life is full of ups and downs and yes we have to cry to cleanse from the debris that living life leaves behind. I encourage you to know that all of your needs and the needs of your seed will be supplied by God according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Nothing catches God by surprise. He knows everything that is going on in your life and your daughter's life. We have to be patient to wait on Him to supply the answers and because this is not what the flesh wants to do, it cause us to worry, be anxious and depressed. Continue to keep your focus on God and everything will work out for your highest God.

I like what it says over in Psalms 37:25 "I have been young, now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread". Continue to stand on the promises of God, because He is not a man and he cannot lie. He will do all that He has spoken.

God bless you and your daughter.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITSAWRAP_DIMI 3/26/2010 9:44AM

    Thanks for sharing. Sending good thoughts on your daughter's house hunting journey! I will remember this when my oldest gets to this point!!
I think I will need to join u on a good cry every now and then!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THE_JULES1 3/26/2010 9:42AM

    emoticonIt does seem to be a lot to worry about.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IUHRYTR 3/26/2010 9:37AM

    Love your attitude. It is so much more satisfying when we go with the flow of the day rather than getting upset by things. Hope you have a terrific day. -- Lou

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/26/2010 7:54AM

    I love to read your writings. You have the best attitude. What a wonderful way to start the day.
Blessings my sweet friend,
Cathy emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


quick note

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I have only a minute, i'm going with my daughter to see a house and then i'm off to work. I wanted to let you all know I will not know anything about tests for a week my doctor said. There is something there, but it is a waiting game now. His last words as he left the room where "don't worry till I call you". Yeah right. as we got in the car my husband said to me " your already doing what he told you not to". Are they crazy, don't worry? yeah, like that is going to happen. I"m not afraid of the cancer, I just don't want it here if we can get rid of it. And to me waiting is the worse part I need to be doing. So i;m doing. I'm exercising and eating right and the piece he took yesterday I have to be honest hurt like the devil, but it had to be done. That is one area that shouldn't be bothered with. lol. But because i've been taking care of me for a while now, i'm fine. and by yesterday afternoon and a walk at lunch i was feeling much better. I never was one to sit around and this has never been truer than now.

I will keep all my spark buddies posted as I hear. Life is so much more fun with spark buddies praying and just giving you a kind word. If any of you need anything let me know. I will move heaven and earth to get it for you. God bless you all.

I"m getting there from here, one step, day, and week at a time. I think I'm going to us this as my new motto on my signature. works for me and says it all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACH_BUMM 3/25/2010 8:49AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THE_JULES1 3/24/2010 12:13PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/24/2010 10:22AM

    Lou said it best ... we are here for you! To pray for you and to support you. You are such a sweet friend. You deserve the very best we have to offer you.
emoticon
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IUHRYTR 3/24/2010 10:18AM

    Hang tough, my friend. We're here to pray for and support you. -- Lou

Report Inappropriate Comment


updates

Monday, March 22, 2010

I want to just give myself an update on me. Your holding your own right now. You have made it through two whole days with weighing and measureing food and your not gaunt yet. I think you may hold out another day...

Tomorrow is my doctors appointment for more tests for these darn cancer cells. I'm going to be fine. My neighbors little girl brought me over a cake, pound none the less, and I took it graciously as she is only about nine, and I had a small sliver, this way I can say I had some and enjoyed it. My point is she has no idea about what is going on with me, and for me this was the lord reaching out and telling me all is going to be fine. I heard from my son tonight also for the first time since he left. He is holding his own. My prayers go out to him, I hope he gets clean.

My buddy whom got me started on spark is back at it. she began today and i'm so thrilled to have her back. I so missed her on this journey. It is nice to have someone to share ideas with in person. I love my spark friends very much, but I love my spark buddy very much also.

Ok that is about it for now, i'm getting there from here, one step, day and week at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARVCO 3/24/2010 9:22AM

    Both my husband and I are cancer survivors. Mine was a very small melanoma that was caught before it went too deep - no follow up cancer treatment needed. My husband had the same cancer as Lance Armstrong - he caught it very early on and had some radical lymph node removal with no chemo - and well, 4 kids later - and nearly 20 years down the road....he remains clear.

I will keep you in my prayers - with all the right things happening in your life now, I pray that God brings you more happiness with good drs. visits!

I love the "update on me" theme - spark points should be dedicated to such blogs.



Report Inappropriate Comment
BEACH_BUMM 3/24/2010 6:11AM

    Let us know how your Doctors appt goes. We are all thinking of you and your son. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IUHRYTR 3/23/2010 1:54PM

    We do what we can do one positive day at a time. Hang in there. -- Lou

Report Inappropriate Comment
THE_JULES1 3/23/2010 12:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/23/2010 7:51AM

    emoticon my sweet friend. You are moving forward. Each day. Every day.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SQUAREBEAR 3/22/2010 11:00PM

    I'm proud of you for moving forward! You will be in my prayers for the cancer cells and that you recieve the gift of defeating them! It's a wonderful feeling, i've been there and though it gets hard at times, you can make ! you are a strong woman who can accomplish anything. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 Last Page