MALEXANDER4   173,194
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always believe

Thursday, February 11, 2010

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

It is funny after yesterdays blog this was in my email this morning. I feel like the lord is trying to tell me something. Do i believe? you bettcha!!!

this is a new day and a new beginning. i'm going to give it heck and then some. i may not reach all my goals today, but heck i have a lifetime. see ya at the finish line.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRISNA 2/11/2010 1:03PM

    I liked that. Glad you are feeling better and happier about your progress.

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NANC304 2/11/2010 10:32AM

    I needed to hear this today. I was not in a very good mood and definitely NOT feeling positive. I was feeling very frustrated with myself, my job, and just about everything. Thanks for pointing out that I can find the peace within myself.

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IUHRYTR 2/11/2010 9:41AM

    Doesn't being positive give you a good feeling? Hang tough. One day at a time and you'll meet your goals. -- Lou

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THE_JULES1 2/11/2010 9:08AM

    I am glad to see your spirits lifted. You can and you will do finish this. We have come to far to hold anything back now!
Thanks for my goodie and the kind words! I needed them today.

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MOONWILLOW1010 2/11/2010 8:12AM

    Well there must be a reason why I read this blog today! Thank you for sharing...I believe the Lord is saying something to me as well.

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FRANKIEKNIGHT1 2/11/2010 7:37AM

    Your blog is very encouraging and makes me feel at piece inside with my self and my life. Thank you very much for the inspiration today.

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KENDALL7261 2/11/2010 7:11AM

  Very encouraging! Thank you.

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I just finished reading my blog from Sunday and i'm sorry to say I lied not only to you all but to myself. I said this was a new week and I was going to do better....well so far I've had one good day, sunday, now it is wednesday and i'm wondering if today is the day I turn myself around. I strayed from my plan, not enough to hurt, just enough to make my question why i'm even bothering with all this.

Has anyone ever just wanted to eat what they want without the guilt that goes along with it. I mean darn if i eat chocolate i'm calculating the points (ww) factor into it, if i don't have a veggie with a meal i'm feeling like i'm forgetting something. water? that is something else all together, i count each drink. Sometimes don't you just want to have that drink because your thirsty not because you have to get in eight or ten glasses?

you see this week is not good for me on many levels, first and foremost pms, and with the the feelings, then there is the weight challenge on one of my teams, i worry each week if i'm still in it to win it or am i down to the next level of still losing. such pressure sometimes. yes, i'm still in it to win it, but i need to win this for me, not a spark goodie. but the satifaction i get from know i did all that i could do to help me.

the weather here is cold, and i don't do cold. that is bringing on the winter blues. i watched the biggest loser (my favorite show) and i cried. my husband says i won't be allowed to watch if that is how it makes me feel. it wasn't the show, it was watching them do what needed to be done and losing. losing the barriers that put them there, losing the weight, the stigma. It all works together.

we always have good blogs, blogs of wonder, blogs of humor, blogs of triumphs, well today is my blog of pity. i don't want your pity, i just want to know i'm not alone in this. i know we all are here for the same things, but are we all feeling these feelings at different points? are we all having weeks, not days, weeks, when we want to just say the heck with this? if you say no, you may be lying to yourself. lets' face it sports fans, each day is a struggle of some kind. i just want to know that this struggle is going to make me the person i so want to become.

It seems i get this far, no wait, i've never been this close before, and i want to quit. what is that all about? the hard part is over, now it is the sliding into home part i want. I want the glory, i want the moment of fame.

I won't quit this battle. If i end up in the "i'm still in it" part of my challenge so what. there are a lot of us there, if i end up in the " still in it to win it" woohoo. I can't let this define me. I can't let the scales rule me (yeah right that one is tough). i have to be in this for me and me alone. i have the tools to make it or break it and at this point not making it would make me feel worse then the im trying stage.

so when you read this blog, know that i'm still trying. i'm struggling daily with issues we all face, but i would like to know i'm not alone. i know this is a meal at a time, day at a time, journey. but sometimes guys the road is long and very curved up ahead.
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRISNA 2/11/2010 1:20PM

    I think we have all had cranky pants, a pity party or whatever you want to call it. I know I am not going to quit struggling because this is a life journey for me. I do agree with Julie's comment that some days this just sucks. It is a long and winding road and there are hills and valleys. We have to keep moving forward.

I am not on the challenge team to win anymore, but I didn't quit the team because I think we have all become a lot closer since we started this challenge. I think members of both teams have been cheering us on. The thing I love about Spark People is the positive support.

We have all changed and we are all going to work together.


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IUHRYTR 2/10/2010 1:18PM

    Most of us can relate. The other day I wrote about night time cravings that were driving me crazy, cravings I didn't want to give in to. And I didn't and have felt mentally and physically stronger for resisting. I don't believe complete deprivation is good for us so sometimes we need to have what we normally would avoid, just to get it out of our system. All we can do is hold tight the mental image of how we will will look when we reach our goal and take it one meal, one exercise, one positive day at a time. Hang tough. You'll get there. Believe in yourself. You can do this. -- Lou

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THE_JULES1 2/10/2010 9:41AM

    First of all, you are not alone. I am here with you every step of the way. And I am exactly where you are. I just want this to be easy and to be over. And truthfully, it will never be either. Somedays I do exactly what I am supposed to do and get the results I expect. But mostly not. Some days I do almost what I am supposed to do and hope for the best. Some days I do exactly what I am supposed to do and nothing happens. We are all there.
The difference is now, we know this will happen. It doesn't change how we feel at this moment, but we know this moment will pass. We know there are people we can message and say Today sucks. I need help and we will get it.
The difference is we have changed and we care this time if we fail. We care too much to let it happen.
So lets just drive thru this plateau together and celebrate on the other side.
Sometimes you just gotta keep moving and fake it until you make it.


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Sunday, February 07, 2010

Well another week has come and gone. Today is my new week, my weigh in was the same. no loss, no gain. In many ways that is awesome and in some ways that is sad. I'm so close to goal that I know at this point it is going to go slowwwwly. But on the other hand I had a bit to do with this weeks progress. This is the time of the month for me and sorry to the guys but for us women you all know what that means. fluid, munchies, and more fluid and more munchies. I munched my weigh (pun intended) to a non movement on the scales. To be honest i thought i would of gained, so at this point i'm glad for the non movement.

I didn't get my exercise calories burnt this week that i normally do. I was just plain lazy. I can't give an excuse for it. This is a new week and i will try harder.

I spent the day with my husband today. We don't get to do that a lot and neither of us is dead so I think we did ok. We went flea marketing. Didn't get anything but had a nice walk just the same and I brought my lunch and snacks, water, and drinks. Pretty good of me huh? I told ya this was a new week. I have goals and I'm not going to get there sitting and doing nothing. That goes for my diet also. Anyhow, back to my day. I have to thank my friend lou and one of his blogs about not giving in to temptaion and much water. Lou thank you...when i got the moment this evening i headed for a bath, had some flavored water, more water. and guess what? no snack.

so to me I say, new week, new ideas, new plans. To my spark friends i say, we are going to live this healthy lifestyle and make each moment count. good luck to all. If you all stand behind me, i'll be there for you. have a blessed day. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_JULES1 2/8/2010 3:10PM

    I say Yay! No gain!

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IUHRYTR 2/7/2010 9:20PM

    One meal, one exercise, one positive day at a time and you'll get there. -- Lou

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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Hello, it has been a bit since i blogged. Sorry i seem to have fallen asleep at the wheel. I read most of my friends blogs daily, so i'm here, I just run out of time for my own. Isn't that the way of life. We do for so many others and forget about us. Funny i was having this discussion with my daughter on the phone just last night. For so many years it was my children i went without for. Now here i sit with just me and my hubby for the first time in years, well all our married years as my children and i came as a package deal, and i 'm still not doing for me.

Yeah i eat right now and i exercise, but i have to tell ya, my clothes look like crap. when i head to church i look like i stepped out of the rag bag. I know i'm not being judged but i'm judging me. I know i need to get some new clothes that fit. But i'm so close to my goal and i want to wait. I do head to the goodwill on occasion but even that occasion hasn';t been in a bit. I'm working so hard on getting my husband and i out of this debt mess and back on some kinda track that clothes seem like a not needed neccessity at this time. Now mind you i'm not looking horrible, just feeling like that.

If you have ever been in a financial bind, like life, you know that somethings have to wait, for me new items right now have to wait. We are finally on a path of hope and i don't want to rock the boat so to speak. we work hard for what we have and lately that isn't much. my electric bill in these parts we have a coop, if any of you have that you know what i'm talking about. my light bill this month is 490.00. that is more important to me then say a new pair of jeans.

I do want all the know that life if just that, life. whether we work hard, slack, or motivate each other and ourselves somethings just happen. we have to move forward and not let little things get in our way. so today i'm moving forward. I'm going to be happy with myself, and the changes i have made in me. I'm going to exercise, eat right, and one of these wonder days i'm going to get a new outfit just for me. and when that day comes i'm going to smile and be thankful that i waited and didn't rush out and get just anything. afterall that is what spark is all about, being patient. good luck to all this new day. michelle.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_JULES1 2/4/2010 9:36AM

    I hear ya on money being tight. But don't forget to take care of you. You are doing this to feel better about yourself and sometimes if you let one part slide and start feeling bad about you in that area, it can overwhelm every part of your life.
A new pair of jeans or a new outfit to go to church in just might pick your spirits up and give you hope. It doesn't have to be extravagant. with dieting, if you feel deprived, one day you will break and binge. It can be the same way with finances. You keep telling yourself no all the time, even on the little things. Then one day you get angry and decide to spend it all. Which is just as bad or worse because you have to recover then.
I don't know your situation and what you can afford, but just make sure you are taking care of you.
emoticonI have been there.

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IUHRYTR 2/4/2010 8:58AM

    Keep the good attitude and you WILL meet your goal. Take it one meal, one exercise, one positive day at a time. -- Lou

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Down, down, down

Sunday, January 31, 2010

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Set a goal of one-half pound loss this week. Lost one full pound. Man i haven't weighed this in years. I'm kinda nervous, what if i don't succeed. Nope not going to think about that. Now i'm going to plan my next week. I can do this and I will do this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVVYSBABY 2/3/2010 8:52AM

    Alright! Way to go! keep your goal in mind and you will do this. What a feeling!

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PATRISNA 1/31/2010 8:27PM

    I am soooo happy for you! Keep going down, down, down. I always go down then up , don't do that!

You are emoticon Way to go!

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JUNEBUG1944 1/31/2010 7:22PM

    You are doing great! You exceeded your goal and woohoo to you! emoticon

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IUHRYTR 1/31/2010 7:04PM

    Fight the negative thinking. The more you focus on the positive, "will do" attitude, the more it will take over. You doubled your goal for this week. emoticon


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